My Blue Eyes (26 page)

     Mr. Simpson came over and sat in the chair next to us.
     “I hate to say there is good news to come from this.”
     I sat up and listened.
     “I was able to get a court date next week for a custody hearing,” he said.  “They are doing a DNA test on Ellie back in Iowa and I need you to go see these people first thing tomorrow.” 
     He handed me a card with some doctor’s name on it.  “What’s this for?”
     “That’s so they can swab your cheek again and send it overnight to Iowa.  The court wanted a new sample.  By the time we get to court next week we will know for sure if you are Ellie’s dad.”
     “I know I’m her dad,” I said.  “So will I be able to bring her home next week?”
     “If the DNA matches.”
     It was good news to hear even though my soul missed Mary.  I hoped my mom and dad were taking care of her in heaven.  Now they were all three surely watching down on me.
     I went to bed that night and prayed.  I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my life.  My hands hurt from squeezing them together so hard.  I spoke to my mom and dad.  I apologized to Mary.  I promised to make everything right and give Ellie the home she deserved.  I made a commitment to God that night.  I would never abandon him again.

Chapter 58

 
  
  
     
 I went out the next day and got my cheek swabbed, hoping this sample makes its way to Iowa, unlike the last time.  This would turn out to be the longest week of my life.  I was hardly sleeping with the eager anticipation of getting my daughter back.  I missed her like crazy.  My feelings were intensified even more so now that Mary had passed.  I knew Ellie was with Terri, but I felt like she was all alone up in Iowa.
     Ellie was still young and likely not understanding what happened to her mom.  I had a heavy heart knowing the last time Ellie got to see her mom was when we left to come home to Andalusia.  And that was the last time Mary got to see her.  I knew Mary loved Ellie.  If what Terri had told me that day in the airport was true, it broke my heart even more.
     Every night I looked at her pictures in the book Mary had made.  I prayed to God every night.  I didn’t pray to get Ellie back, knowing that would be selfish of me.  I prayed for understanding of the plan he had in store for me, whether I got Ellie back or not. 

     I hoped I would get her back.  I was certain I would get her back.

     Amy’s stomach issues had come back.  It was scaring the shit out of me.  When everyone you love always dies, you stay paranoid at the smallest thing.  I begged her to go see the doctor.  She promised she would and made an appointment on the day I was to leave for Iowa.  I wasn’t upset she couldn’t go with me.  We had planned for her to stay home.  It was the best.  I’m sure Terri had known about Amy, and seeing us leave with Ellie could only harbor ill will towards us.
     With all the drama going on, Amy and I had neglected the house we bought.  We were supposed to be working on giving it a complete makeover, but neither one of us had the time.  I ran into a little extra money when Troy sold my parents’ house.  It wasn’t a whole lot, but enough to redo the siding on the house.  Paying for it with that money made me feel like there was a little part of my mom and dad in the house.  Once everything got done with getting Ellie back, I was planning on working on it. 

    
     Slowly but surely the day arrived.  Mr. Simpson had left a couple days before to work out a few things before I got to the courthouse.  Our court date was at 1:00 PM, so I left the day before.  I was flying into Cedar Rapids, IA and would have a two hour car ride to Davenport.  I didn't want a whole day of traveling, so this was best.
     The day I was scheduled to leave, I had still not heard about the DNA test I submitted.  I wasn't too worried about the chances of not being her dad.  I was as close to one-hundred percent sure as I could get.  The thought of not being never really crossed my mind.  I figured they must have come back positive or there would be no use in me going to court.  Don’t get me wrong, father or not, I would have taken Ellie back in a heartbeat.
     The day I left I made Amy promise me she was going to see the doctor.  I didn't want any surprises when I got back.  She promised to tell me what was going on with her when I called her later that night.
     I took Ellie’s photograph book and stared at the pictures the entire flight.  I missed this little girl like crazy.  I prayed it was only a matter a time before she was with me for good.  I missed a lot of firsts, and I didn't want to miss any more.  My nerves were about to kill me.
 

Chapter 59

    
 Here I was, sitting in my hotel room waiting to talk to Amy.  She was supposed to go to the doctor today to find out what has been causing her nausea.  I think I called her almost every hour until she finally called me back, four hours later.
     “Do you think you called me enough?”  Amy said as she finally answered the phone.
     “Stop it.  You know I’m worried sick about you.  What did the doctor say?”
     “I’m not dying.  Well at least not yet.”
     “What does that mean?”
     “Darrel, can we talk about it when you get home?  I don’t want to talk about it over the phone.  I promise you I don’t have a disease or anything.  The doctor just said I need to start taking better care of myself.”
     “Ha Amy,” I laughed out loud.  “You take better care of yourself more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
     “Remember Darrel, I do have a little pooch right now.”
     “Whatever.  It’s a sexy pooch.”
     Amy growled at me, “You know I hate it when you say that.  Now get off the phone and get some sleep.  You have a long day tomorrow.”
     We said our goodbyes and I love you’s.  I missed her every minute I was away from her.  I was curious what was wrong with her.  She didn't sound all doom and gloom, so everything must be fine.  I figured it was just some sort of woman issue she was going through.  Probably something I didn't need or want to know.  
     I was finally at ease, but my excitement level was at an all-time high.  I wished I could have called Terri and asked her to show me Mary’s grave.  I didn't even know if she was buried anywhere close to here.  I would say a little prayer for her every night and hoped that would make up for not visiting her grave.
     By the time I got ready for bed, it was a little after 9:00 PM.  I knew going into the night, this was going to be one of those nights where I toss and turned.  I was right.  So many thoughts were going through my head.  Nothing would stop them.  I was afraid to check the clock, and when I finally did, it was 2:00 AM.  That night sucked.  I think somewhere around 3:00 AM, I was finally able to get to sleep.  
     I remembered a trick I used to do when I was in high school if I had a hard time falling asleep.  I would imagine I was playing professional baseball and I was sitting at a news conference or being interviewed.  I would make up the questions getting asked and would give a long detailed answer.  Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.  I wished I would have thought of this earlier.  I only got through two media questions before I finally drifted off to sleep.
 
     I woke up the next morning, eager to get the day started.  I showered and got myself dressed and put on a nice suit and tie.  
I looked pretty good
, I thought.  It wasn't too often I got dressed up like this.  Mr. Simpson thought it would be a good idea to wear a suit.  He was the professional.  Who was I to argue with him?
     I found the court house rather easily.  Actually, I drove by it a couple times the day before just to make sure I knew where it was.  It was 12:00 PM when I walked through the doors.  Mr. Simpson was talking with some lady when I arrived.
     He noticed me walk in and gave me a wave, “Hey Darrel.  I’m glad you came early.  Let’s go in this room and talk.”
     He led me to a corner room that was filled with gobs and gobs of law books.  I couldn't imagine people actually read these things.  We took a seat at the table.
     I got some good news for you Darrel,” he said pulling out a piece of paper.  “You are in fact, Ellie’s biological father.”
     “I already knew I was,” I said with a chuckle.  “I guess it’s nice to have it confirmed.”
     “I do have some potential bad news though.”
     Mr. Simpson tried to explain the Grandparent’s Right Act to me.  I’m not going to get into too much detail what he explained to me.  Honestly, I can’t remember most of it.  When someone tells me they have bad news, I kind of tune them out and think about the impact of the bad news on me.  I end up missing most of what they say.  Instead of having them repeat it, I nod like I understand.  I have a better understanding of it now. 

     At the time of the court date, we were in the year 1997.  If this would have taken place three years later, we would have been much better off.  Back then, Grandparents had a lot more rights than they do now.  I think we can all agree Grandparents like to meddle in their children’s business.  A Supreme Court decision back in the year 2000 actually strengthened parental rights and weakened Grandparent rights.
     What this means now is that Grandparents have to be able to prove a parent is not fit to be a parent, and prove it beyond any reasonable doubt.  This is much harder for a Grandparent to prove now than it was in 1997.  All Terri had to do was say I ignored Ellie for the first three and a half years of her life to prove I wasn't fit to parent her.  This was wrong of course, and Terri knew it was.  Without Mary here to say otherwise, I was doomed.  Mr. Simpson didn’t know if this was the route she was going to go.  If she did, there was a good chance I would not be leaving the courthouse with my daughter.
     The excitement and nervousness I had for that day soon turned to gloom.  I felt defeated.  I felt in my heart I wasn’t going to be taking home Ellie today.  I told Mr. Simpson about the video evidence of what Terri said to me that day in the airport.  He said if things didn’t go well today, then he would subpoena the tape.  Even with that, the airport would still have to be in possession of the tape.  To this day, I still remember the exact words Mr. Simpson said to me.
     He said, “Darrel, I want you to stay in this room until I come to get you.  While you’re in here, you need to think about what you’re going to say to the judge.  She’s going to ask you why she should award Ellie to you.  You need to dig deep in your heart and tell her why.”
     I rehearsed over and over what I was going to say.  Everything I added seemed dumber than my first thoughts.  I was racking my brain coming up with the right thing to say.  It was foolish to try.  I was just going to speak from the heart and hope that brought Ellie home with me.
 
     Mr. Simpson came in and got me shortly after 2:00 PM.  It was an hour later than our scheduled time.  He led me into the courtroom, which was empty.  I was surprised.  I was expecting there to be an audience and twelve jurors helping decide Ellie’s fate.  
     Instead, he directed me back into the judge’s chambers where Terri and Ellie were waiting.  Ellie’s eyes lit up when she saw me.
     “Daddy!” she said as she came running over to me.
     Terri tried to grab her before she got away, but was unsuccessful.  I swooped her up and gave her the biggest hug.  Oh how I missed that little girl.  She smelled so good I wanted to eat her up right there.  It took everything I had not to cry.
     “Daddy, did you know Mommy died,” she said rather emotionless.  I knew she didn’t understand.
     “I’m so sorry baby,” I said squeezing her tight.  “Your mommy loved you so much.”
     “Can I go home with you?”  She said.  
     Before I could answer, the judge came in.  She was an older lady, probably a Grandparent herself.  It was over for me.  A tear rolled down my cheek with the thought of losing this little girl, who was now sitting on my lap so quietly. 
     The Judge introduced herself and then asked, “Mr. Watson, are you aware of the results of your paternity test?”
     “Yes ma’am,” I responded.
     “Usually, this would be all I need to know before rewarding you custody,” She said as she peered over her reading glasses.  “However, Mrs. Lewis’s attorney has provided other information to the court that questions placing this child in your custody.”
     I was confused with this.  What information was she talking about?
     She continued, “It is Mrs. Lewis’s claim that you were aware of Ellie for almost three and a half years before you decided to be a part of her life.”
     I shook my head adamantly and Mr. Simpson spoke up, “With all due respect your honor, Mr. Watson was not made aware he had a daughter until running into Ellie’s mom in June of this year.  Please don’t fault him for this.”
     “I will take that into consideration Mr. Simpson,” the judge said redirecting her attention to me.  “Unfortunately, due to there being a deceased parent, I cannot neither verify nor deny that claim.  I read your bio Mr. Watson, which was provided to the court by Mr. Simpson.  I understand you have had a rough going in the past four years and I am truly sorry for all your losses.  However, I cannot base my decision on your best interests.  I have to take into consideration what is in the best interest of the child.  Now, I would like you to tell the court why you feel that giving you custody of this child is in the best interest of the child.”
     Mr. Simpson was right.  I wasn't put on the spot with that question.  I had figured there would be a little feeling out of each other before she would go there.  I took in a deep breath and slowly released it.  
     I spoke, “I’m Ellie’s Dad, and I love her more than life itself.  It’s amazing how much love I have for this little girl.  I missed three and a half years of her life.  I can’t miss any more.  I missed the first time she smiled, first time she rolled over, crawled, cried, laughed and walked.  Until this past June, I didn't even know she existed.  After high school, I went to school in Alabama and Ellie’s mom, Mary, went to work on some personal issues in Minnesota.  She told me not to contact her and I had no way of contacting her.  She never left any information.  I loved her mom so much.  She was my first love.  I would have done anything for her.  I wanted to go to Minnesota with her, but she wanted no part of it.”
     I had to pause as I could feel myself getting emotional.  Mr. Simpson gave me a tissue so I could wipe my eyes and compose myself before continuing.
     “I wanted to be with Ellie’s mom.  Mary had said to me, ‘If we were meant to be together, we would be together in the end.'  But life happens, you know.  I met someone else, tried to keep it casual, because I knew I wanted to be with Mary.  I ended up falling for this girl harder than anyone in my life.  I couldn't help it.  I love her so much and she loves Ellie too.  We’re getting married sometime next summer.  I want and need Ellie to be a part of our family.  I promise you, your honor, I had no idea I had a kid.  If I would have known Mary was pregnant, I would have dropped everything and moved to wherever she was.  I think that’s why Mary never told me.  She had a dream for me, and she would do anything not to stand in the way.  Now she’s gone.  It hurts to know Ellie will never get to see her again.  I believe if Ellie is with me, at least she will get to feel that same love her mom and I once shared.  That’s all I got your honor.  I just want my daughter.  I can’t miss any more time with her.”   
     The judge gave me a halfhearted smile and then turned her attention towards Terri.  It seemed the judge was more interested in hearing what Terri had to say.  I could tell by the smile she didn't believe me.  I looked at Mr. Simpson and he gave me a worried smile and nod of the head.