My Body-His (10 page)

* * * *

When I made it back to my place, I felt so excited
that I ran up the stairs and rushed through the door. Then I came
to a sudden halt. I looked around, noticing how different the
apartment seemed, how different I felt. The place was like an old
shirt that no longer fit me. Even the smell seemed foreign. In such
a short time Luke’s masculine smell had come to represent home for
me. I decided to go for a run before packing what I needed. My life
was changing so rapidly that only my running was keeping me sane.
Usually I would run to feel more like my old self, but on that day
my new being held more power over me.
Today,
I thought,
I
run as Jane of Luke and Jane.
I hurriedly changed my clothes,
grabbed my iPod off the counter, and bounded out the door.

It felt good to be on the beach, running with my hard
alternative songs blasting their driving beat into my headphones. I
settled into a rhythm, following the beat of the music while the
sunshine engulfed me in warmth that made my entire body relax into
a steady pace as the waves of the Atlantic Ocean pounded the shore.
Negotiating the crowded boardwalk during the second mile, I felt a
decision finally overtake me: I wanted what Luke offered me. I
couldn’t be sure what he would ask of me, but the unknown
stimulated me to such a high degree that even as I ran down the
beach I experienced intense stimulation. When I thought of Luke my
nipples became erect and tingles shot through my body. My panting
breaths reminded me of his body on top of mine. I fantasized what
he would do to me. He had found the trigger to my sexuality and I
was prepared to explore it with abandon.

I slowed down, jogging lightly along as I changed the
music to my cool-down playlist. After a time I slowed to a walk.
“Sideways” by Santana and Citizen Cope began to blare through my
headphones, perfectly illustrating my state of mind. That is how I
felt … sideways. I looked back in amazement on how much my life had
shifted in such a short time. My relationship with Luke had left me
completely off balance, and I had always avoided quick changes in
my life. None of that deterred me then. I had dived into the deep
end of a pool without my mask or snorkel, not at all concerned
about breathing underwater.

* * * *

I finished stretching, took a quick shower, and made
a mad dash to pack. I pulled two suit sets out of the closet. I
grabbed a handful of underwear, a couple of bras, a pair of jeans,
three sets of workout clothes, shorts, and a few t-shirts. I
chuckled to myself at the thought of taking clothing that I wasn’t
allowed to wear in the apartment. There would be less laundry for
sure. Quickly I scooped up all my bathroom stuff and shoved it into
my overnight cosmetic bag.

What am I forgetting? Oh shit, my pills
, I
thought, reaching into the medicine cabinet for my birth control
pills. Grabbing my favorite black shoes and sneakers, I headed out
the door.

After throwing all my stuff into the trunk, I climbed
into the car. It dawned on me in that moment that I needed to call
my friends and mother and give them my new number. I also needed to
get the number from Luke.

“
Crap,” I said and slammed the steering
wheel.

I ran back upstairs to grab the charger for my
cellphone and realized I should clean out the refrigerator. For
once in my life I rejoiced to see it mostly empty. I threw away
everything except the condiments into a garbage bag. With bag in
hand, I locked the door behind me and used the far set of stairs to
flounce to the dumpster. I tossed the bag in and made a quick
beeline back to my car.

Okay,
I thought.
We’re doing this.
I
maneuvered the rearview mirror to look at myself, just wanting to
make sure that it was still me looking back.

* * * *

Excitement rushed through me at the thought of seeing
Luke again. I grabbed all the stuff from the car, including my
purse, and hurtled up the stairs. I knocked on the apartment door.
Luke answered it and laughed out loud.

“
Why are you knocking?” he said.

“
Oh,” I said, laughing easily with him. “I
don’t know.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” I
pulled my stuff through the door.

“
Let me take those things,” he said, taking the
bags from my hands.

I stood by the door, leaning back against the wall
and realizing that I would never walk into our apartment like a
normal person. I felt relieved to find the place empty for my
disrobing, but something told me not to get too used to it.

As I removed my clothes I looked across to the living
room. Along with the brown couch I had laid on earlier sat a
matching chair. The far right corner of the room held a bulbous
oriental urn that I assumed had come from Japan. He had told me to
wait by the door, so I leaned over as far as I could to see more of
the apartment. I could see half of a round table and chairs made of
wood. As Luke returned, I pulled upright.

“
I put your bags in the bedroom; you can unpack
later. I hung the suits in the closet, but I insist on taking you
shopping and getting you something that will better do you
justice.” He reached for my clothes and clasped my hand in his.
“You took longer than I expected and your hair’s wet. Did you go
for a run?”

“
Yes,” I said, “I needed it.”

“
A treadmill is being delivered so on the days
you can’t make it to the beach you can still run.”

“
Wow, that was very thoughtful,” I said with a
smile.

“
Or resourceful … either way,” he
said.

“ ‘
Resourceful,’ what does that mean?” The
comment dashed the idea that he had acted out of
consideration.

“
Never mind, it’s wonderful to have you back,”
he said, leading me into the bedroom.

I recognized the furniture from the party house. It
filled the bedroom, not leaving much space to move.

“
We have a lot to talk about, but we’ll do that
later. I have a conference call in about thirty minutes. You have a
choice. We can get your punishment out of the way now or you can
lie down on the bed and I will show you the true meaning of
indulgence. I’ve wanted to taste you ever since that first
night.”

Call me a procrastinator, but I chose the second
option. If I thought anything would be straight up with this man, I
was mistaken.

“
Lay on your back in the middle of the bed.
Spread your arms and legs to the four corners,” he said, reaching
down for something I couldn’t see alongside the bed.

When he straightened up I saw a black leather strap
that appeared to have Velcro on it. He pulled the two touching
parts away from each other, and I concluded that he held a cuff
that attached under the bed. He placed my left wrist inside and
securely fastened it. Prowling around me with the grace of a lion,
he made quick work of his task, securing both my ankles and my
right wrist.

Just the act of securing me to the bed started a
groundswell of stimulation to move through my body. My movements
limited, I felt terribly vulnerable, but the anticipation flared,
becoming more intense. I began to rationalize that the restraints
provided pleasure and all of that was okay as long as I wanted it.
My breathing quickened as I felt more and more out of control. I
looked at Luke in a panic.

“
Jane, take a couple of deep breaths and relax.
You will really enjoy this.”

I obeyed him, taking a couple of long deep
inhalations and pursing my lips as I slowly blew out the air. It
did seem to slow down the panting, but did nothing to contain my
craving. He began running his hands softly down the underside of my
right arm. It tickled me slightly, and as he continued to treat my
whole body to his soft touch, the panting came back worse than
before and the moistness between my legs began to trickle onto the
bed. I gasped and moaned, trying to move my body away from the
touch that had me crying out.

I felt tortured with desire. I was raw passion with
no inhibitions. Anger and passion had found a new outlet. He teased
his way down my lower body, gently gliding over my sweet spot but
never actually touching it.

“
Please,” I begged. “Please, I need you to make
me cum.” I groaned. I’d never been so brazen. “Pleeeeasse,” I
repeated, pulling against my restraints.

“
Not to worry, my love, your need will be fully
satisfied,” he said as he walked to the end of the bed. Reaching
down, he released the strap on my left leg, allowing for more
movement. He repeated the processes on the other side, lifting my
legs so that my calves touched the back of my thighs, completely
exposing my saturated flower. Then he slid his forearms under my
butt and lifted me up. I felt his deft tongue flick across my now
rock hard clit. I never knew I could feel this sensual.

Until that moment, I had never been a huge fan of
cunnilingus. Every man always said the same thing, that the guys
before “me” just didn’t know what they were doing. Well let’s just
say that until that day, I had not known a single man who had any
idea about pleasuring a woman with his tongue. Luke, on the other
hand, had it mastered. He seemed to be able to gauge my growing
intensity and withdraw just before I was about to trip the light
fantastic. With each subsequent climb a cavalcade of new sensations
pushed me to new heights. He had a way of using his tongue softly,
with just the right amount of pressure.

He slowly, cleverly brought me to a plane of pleasure
I had not yet experienced. I screamed, “OOOOhhhhh, let me cum, let
me cum, please oh god, please, let me cum!” And, praise god, he
did. My orgasm hit with such force, with such intensity that my
throat grew raw from my screams of ecstasy. I lay there satisfied
and blissful, melting into the bed.

Slowly my bliss began to fade, but I still basked in
deep satisfaction. As my awareness came back to the room, I heard a
clicking sound around me. I opened my eyes and Luke whispered,
“I’ve never seen you look more beautiful. I will need to taste your
sweet juices often. Close your eyes again for me, love.”

He changed my position a couple of times, tilting my
head to one side and moving my legs into a different position. He
adjusted my arms.

I saw a flash.

At the time I made no connection between the pictures
Luke was taking and the man who asked about viewing pictures of me.
Floating on a cloud of love and fulfillment, I could think of
nothing else. I lay submerged in a warm pool of lust and
contentment. I could barely open my eyes. I really didn’t care what
was taking place as the flashes continued to illuminate my
eyelids.

“
Luke,” I said, opening my eyes once again,
“please make love to me.”

“
As much as I would like to, love, I have to go
back to work,” he said as he shuffled through the frames on the
camera.

Looking away, I sighed deeply. I knew that if
circumstances were different and Luke wanted to make love, I would
have no choice in the matter. I felt a little edgy and sad but
pushed the emotions away.

“
It shouldn’t take long,” he said, removing the
leather cuffs from my arms. “Are your wrists okay? You were pulling
pretty hard against them.” He massaged my wrists as he revealed
them from under the leather. “Take a nap, sweet one; you will need
all of your strength for later.” He kissed me on my forehead and
left the bedroom.

I pulled a long pillow between my legs and curled up
on my side. I drifted along in a haze of pleasure and light sleep
until the rude interruption of a dream.

In the dream I stood naked with my wrists bound
together. A rope attached to a D ring on the cuff lifted my arms
above my head to the eyebolt centered in front of the doorway to
the bedroom. Hoisted by those restraints, I had to stand on my
toes. I wiggled around, trying to balance my weight on my feet but
found it difficult. The strain on my shoulders as well as my calves
had me shaking. Just then, I realized a party was taking place
around me. People milled about drinking and partaking of hors
d’oeuvres. They passed by, taking the time to look me up and down,
but they didn’t speak a word to me, as though looking at a slab of
beef for purchase. Panic and dread gripped me as I hung there naked
and helpless. A few people actually touched me, and a man who
resembled the older man I’d met previously with Luke spun me
around, causing me to lose my footing altogether. I helplessly
fought to regain balance, to little effect. Then Luke came by,
slapped me hard on the butt and announced that the bidding was
about to begin.

“
Aaahhhhhhhhh,” I screamed as I sat straight up
in bed startled by the dream.

“
What is it?” Luke asked as he rushed into
room. He cradled me in his arms as I struggled to catch my breath.
I retold the dream in gasps, slowly regaining my
composure.

“
This is really amazing,” he said, holding me
tightly and smiling.

Though confused, I felt safe and cared for in his
arms.

“
You see, after the call was over, I started
thinking about your punishment. How you described yourself tied up
is exactly what I had planned. Not the party part, at least not
yet,” he said, chuckling.

I slugged his shoulder with the side of my fist and
said, “Hey!”

“
I was only joking, trying to get you into a
better mood. It was funny, admit it.”

“
I will admit no such thing,” I said but
couldn’t suppress a smile.

“
Well, at least admit that we’re already very
connected and that you are picking up my thoughts.”