My Body-His (5 page)

“
I know you. Don’t you see? You were lost and
now I’ve found you. You have trust issues because of your father
leaving you. Just try it,” he said, holding out another piece of
fish. “No wasabi this time.”

I opened my mouth, accepted a piece of white fish
lightly dipped in soy sauce, and said, “Hmm ... that’s really
good. What kind of fish is it?”

He gave me an I-told-you-so look and answered, “White
Tuna.” He shifted in his seat to face me. “I know your father’s
abandonment has left you with trust issues, which is to be
expected, but just remember that my patience comes with a
price.”

“
Well ... you will be rid of me tonight,” I
said, wondering if I completely meant it.

“
No,” he said, looking at me intently. “No,
we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“
What makes you so sure?” I said. “How do you
know I won’t blow you off just to show you I can? Say the magic
words that will make you gone?”

“
Maybe down the road, but not tonight. You’re
not certain why, but you want to see what will happen next. You
need me, Jane. You’ll see.”

I removed my purse from my shoulder and scooted
closer to him. He fed me a few more pieces of sashimi and refilled
my saké cup.

The waiter approached the table cautiously, giving me
the impression that he’d seen Luke’s earlier activities between my
legs. Lifting away the appetizer plate, he placed two steaming
dishes in front of us.

“
I don’t usually eat this much,” I said, fixing
the napkin over my lap.

“
That’s apparent. Your overall build is
fantastic but you’ll look better once you’ve put on some weight.
It’ll fill out your breast and hips.”

“
You can be so flattering and so insulting at
the same time,” I said.

“
I was being neither. I was stating what I see.
Why do you give value to anything I say?”

I’ve always considered myself a strong woman, but
with Luke I felt like an insecure mess. Yet, there I sat, actually
enjoying the craziness of spending time with him. I knew my
choices, even if I deluded myself enough to believe I could stop at
any time.

I watched the other women in the restaurant stare at
him. They would walk the long way to the bathroom so they could
pass by our table. He acknowledged them with a smile, raising a
blush on their cheeks. Each time Luke brought his attention
immediately back to me.

I felt confused over my attraction to him. He wasn’t
drop-dead gorgeous or even particularly handsome but some quality
definitely attracted us all. I started to think,
Why
me?
He sat there watching me eat and listening to me talk. I
felt pinned ... no, more like
encompassed
by his
attention. Clearly he could have had the pick of the lot, married
or single. “So, why me?” I let slip out before I could stop
myself.

“
Why not you?”

“
What do you want from me?”

“
Everything.”

“
Everything? What does that mean,
everything?”

“
I want you completely and totally. I want to
merge our lives and bodies. Your body—mine, and my
body—yours.”

“
But you just met me,” I said as I shifted to
face him.

“
Tell me .... How long should it
take?”

“
Until you get to know me better.”

“
I know everything I need to know,” he said,
leaning over to kiss me on my cheek. He lingered there for a moment
and then said, “Let’s have them wrap up the rest of dinner. We can
eat it for a midnight snack.”

“
I have work tomorrow.”

“
Worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Let’s
enjoy ourselves.”

Against my better judgment—hell,
all
of my
judgment—we started walking slowly back to my car. He held my hand
and I could feel his energy entering my palm, permeating my body.
In contrast to the hurried march on the way to the restaurant, he
kept a relaxed pace and whistled softly.

“
I think you must be the strangest person I’ve
ever met,” I said, as my arms swung slowly with his.

“
Well, you must have limited exposure to people
because I meet people far stranger than I all the time. I think up
until now you’ve lived a sheltered existence. To please your mother
maybe?” He wasn’t looking for a response. “No matter,” he
continued, swatting his free hand in the air as if to push the
thought away. “That will all change soon enough.”

I started to believe everything he said.
Did I
actually keep on the straight and narrow because of my mother? I’ve
always felt rebellious of her ways but have I really strayed that
much?

We crossed the parking lot to my red Honda Accord and
he held out his hand for the keys. He unlocked the car and opened
the passenger side door for me.

“
Where to?” he said as he settled himself into
the driver’s seat, moving it back to accommodate his
legs.

“
Don’t you already know?” I asked. “You managed
to find my workplace easily enough.”

“
Actually I do.”

“
How the hell do you know where I live and
work?” I said, shifting in my seat to face him. The fear in me
again raised its ugly head.

“
The cabby was a friend of mine,” he said,
shrugging.

“
Should I be worried for my life? Are you a
deranged serial killer? Do you stalk women with wavy brown hair?” I
was only half kidding but at the same time my head felt like it was
splitting open.
What the hell am I doing?
I
thought.

He laughed heartily and said, “Not to worry. I will
never hurt you unless you want me to.”

My heart beat rapidly in my chest. I didn’t know how
to respond. He turned over the engine and pulled out of the parking
lot. I watched the familiar streets pass as he made his way to my
condominium.

“
Where should I park?” he asked as he drove my
car into my complex.

Relief swept over me when I realized he didn’t know
my apartment number. “Park in the spot over there,” I said and
pointed.

He maneuvered into my space and quickly got out of
the car. I began to get out as well but he caught the door in time
to open it himself. “Thank you,” I said. “I’m not used to having
men open doors for me.”

He held out his hand. I swung my legs around and he
pulled me to my feet, embracing me around my back and lifting me
onto my toes. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me for the
first time. My body caught fire, making me feel like it had been
asleep all of my life up until that very moment. He kissed me
deeply, exploring my mouth with his tongue. As he sucked my lower
lip into his kiss, I could smell his warm spicy breath on my face.
His kiss took me on a journey of sensation. He encouraged me with
his lips to explore his mouth with my tongue. I kissed deeper than
ever before, lost in another plane of existence. The kiss took away
any possible resolve I had left. When he finally pulled away I felt
light-headed, the way I did after an orgasm.

“
Wow,” I whispered.

“
Let’s go,” he said, lifting the leftovers and
handing me my purse and flowers.

He strode over to the elevators, leaving me behind to
catch up.

“
Hey,” I called.

“
We definitely need to get you more practical
shoes.” He walked back and handed me the bag of food.

Swooping me up in his arms like a bride, he carried
me to the elevator. My weight didn’t slow him down.

“
What floor?” he asked, waiting to push the
call button on the elevator.

“
Third,” I said, smiling.

“
What’s taking so long?” he asked after a
minute.

“
Elevator’s slow,” I said, laughing.

He headed for the steps with me in his arms and
climbed the two flights of stairs to the third floor.

“
Three-o-nine,” I said, pointing down the
hallway with a chuckle in my voice.

“
Of course it’s the farthest one away from the
stairs,” he said, grinning.

Finally he put me down gently in front of the door.
“Which key?”

“
Here,” I said, reaching to take the keys from
him.

“
Which one?” he said, holding firmly onto the
keys.

“
This one,” I said, pointing to the
bronze-colored one. He opened the door and closed it behind
us.

I stood by the door not knowing what to do. I felt
young and inexperienced all over again. He found the kitchen and
placed the brown bag in the fridge. Then he glided back over to me,
removed the purse hanging from my shoulder and placed both the
purse and the flowers on the counter.

“
Come here,” he said gently, pulling me close.
“Where’s the bedroom?”

“
There.” I pointed behind him.

He took my hand and led me in. I started to unbutton
my shirt but he stopped me.

“
No. Let me,” he said in a serious
tone.

I stood there with my arms at my sides, being
undressed for the first time since childhood. The act seemed more
fatherly than sexual as he carefully unbuttoned my blouse and slid
it off my shoulders. I’m not sure why, but I wanted to cry. I held
back the tears by watching him neatly fold my shirt and place it on
the dresser. Reaching behind me, he unzipped my skirt, holding the
waistband as it slid down my legs. Leaning on his shoulder I
stepped out of the skirt, which he laid neatly on top of the
blouse. Kneeling down in front of me he removed my shoes.

Something about the way he moved stayed with me. I
thought of him rushing down the street in front of me earlier that
night. He didn’t just walk, he flowed—without wasted effort, with
an absolute precision that exuded strength and sexuality. As he
stepped back my eyes fixated on his body. He moved with such
confidence, as if the dance of life came easily to him, a dance I
hoped he would soon teach me.

There I stood, wanting to be free of my bra,
incredibly aroused and yet feeling like my heart could break if he
turned his eyes away from me just once.

As he rose to his feet I saw in his expression a look
of such compassion and love, it frightened me. I shook my head to
clear the confusion from my thoughts, but with little success.

“
Are you okay?” Luke asked.

“
Yes,” I said, a bit tremulous.

“
You’re very beautiful,” he said as he circled
around me to unfasten my bra. “You look much better without
clothes.” He faced me again as he folded my bra and added it to the
pile. I noticed my shoes were lined up next to the
dresser.

“
Shall I undress you?” I asked
nervously.

“
No,” he said, sweeping me up in his arms and
lowering me down onto the bed.

He undressed quickly, taking the same care with his
clothes as he had with mine. My pile lay next to his. His workman
boots were neatly lined up beside my black heels.

When he turned to face me, I was struck by two
things. The first was a scar running down his stomach from just
under his chest on the right to his hip bone. I wondered what might
have happened to him. My eyes trailed up his body to his lean
chest. He had to spend considerable time in the gym to get his body
so muscular and sinewy. The strength he displayed carrying me up
the stairs was evident. The second thing I noticed was his sizable
girth, easily visible as his cock stood immensely aroused. I
wondered how much pleasure and pain I would feel once he entered
me. The thought shocked me; I’d never considered the possibility of
pain in sex, but I couldn’t help it. Memories of his hard touch
that first night at the party house and how it had heightened my
senses brought those feelings back to me, and my juices began to
run down my thighs.

Lying down on the bed, he pulled me on top of him.
His energy so encompassed me I couldn’t feel myself apart from him.
Slowly, passionately, he kissed me. His lips lingered, devouring my
mouth, sucking my lips, wrapping his tongue around mine. I was lost
in the moment, the whole of my body consumed by his deft tongue as
his lips stoked the desire within me. I had forgotten time and
space and was floating in absolute contentment when he finally
pulled his lips from mine.

With strong hands he gently rolled me onto my back
and held my arms above my head. Instead of feeling confined by him,
I felt released. He lay beside me, using his free hand to brush his
fingers down my body. In my heightened state of excitement I could
barely stand his touch, knowing that if he tried he could make me
cum with just one more caress.

Then he turned his attention lower, trailing his lips
to my breast. He breathed my nipple into his mouth, making me gasp.
He sucked softly and slowly at first but as he added more pressure
to his manipulations of my hard tip, he caused me to cry out. I
writhed about as he moved his attentions to my other breast. He
already knew how to read me, because as I felt myself coming closer
and closer to release, he instinctively pulled back, causing my
bliss to slip just enough.

“
Oh you smell so good,” he said, kissing his
way up to my neck, taking in my scent and suckling and nibbling
there as if I were dessert.

Then, in a frighteningly quick movement, he swung
himself on top of me, widening my legs apart with his own as he
propped himself above me. I could feel his cock brushing against my
inner thigh as he eased his hips forward ever so slowly. I
shuddered, anticipating his girth and the sensation of him filling
me, but instead he ran the full length of his phallus over my clit.
My pelvis arched upward, wanting him inside of me, but he only
grinned as he slid the thick head of his cock back down until it
hovered over my longing lips. He held it there for a second,
teasing me, as I tried to move my hips onto him.