My English Muffin (Interracial Romance BWWM Black Woman White Man) (7 page)

“
Sounds pretty comfortable.”

“
I never thought of it that way, I guess that it is.” I smiled about my simple life. “We go out sometimes, but only once every couple of weeks. Mostly we hang out here though.”

“
That sounds lovely.”

“
I have to go check my emails.” I walked out of the room and he followed me. I checked on my business interests and realized that he walked over and looked over my shoulder.

When the food arrived a few minutes later we enjoyed our meal. I put the leftovers in the fridge. It was very ordinary night. We made love in my bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. In the morning I let him sleep in and started working. I was hoping to get a lot done before he got up.

He woke up at nine in the morning. Propping himself up on his elbow he looked at me sitting at my desk, “What are you doing?”

“
Trying to get some work done so I have more free time tonight.” I explained.

He climbed out of bed and started to pull on his pants. “How long do you need?”

“Hopefully, I’ll be done in about four hours.”

“
Then I will return in five hours. I’d like to go to Coney Island, will you join me?’

“
I love Coney Island!” I exclaimed.

“
Wonderful. See you soon.” He kissed me on the cheek as he buttoned up his shirt. “I don’t want to leave, but you need to get some work done.”

“
If I could afford to, I wouldn’t do it.” I explained.

“
I understand.” He was so patient. “I’ll see myself out. Get as much done as you can so I can monopolize all of your time.”

I laughed. He walked out of my apartment and I was struck by the emptiness of the space. I brought my laptop to the bed and tried to work surrounded by his smell. It was the most work I had gotten done all week. I was able to concentrate and I got ahead on several of my projects.

#Chapter10

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Maria

I dressed a little better for the trip to Coney Island. I packed a large purse with a swimsuit and sunscreen and was waiting for him when he arrived. We climbed into the cab together and made out on the way to the biggest tourist attraction in New York City.

We held hands as he took in the sights for the first time. He was in awe of the boardwalk. We played games at the arcades and ate those wonderfully fattening junk foods from the carts. It was a wonderful day. It was so romantic to sit on the beach and watch all of the people.

We changed into swim suits and enjoyed the ocean. Splashing him I obviously put revenge into his mind. He reached for me and dunked me under the water. I wasn’t going down easily and I resisted him. “I’ll take you down with me.” I shouted victoriously.

“Never!” He fought to get me under the water.

We tangled and wrestled in the shallow water. After an hour of play we changed back and went back on the boardwalk.

I rushed to the rides and got tickets for the roller coaster. We screamed together on the drops and held hands when we were climbing the hills. All in all it was amazing day.

It was getting dark when I saw him check a phone. I didn’t even realize  that he had a cell phone. He never pulled it out around me. I guess that nobody ever really called him or maybe he keeps it on silent when around me. ”Damn,” he said.

“What?”

“
My flight leaves in two days. It was a reservation reminder.” He didn’t look happy about it, and it struck me like a bag of rocks upside the head.

“
Damn is right.” I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet. I started to miss him a little already.

“
I know, but put it out of your mind. We’ll enjoy our last days together.”

When I got home that night, our love-making was tempered by sadness. It was slow and we held each other. We made out and savored every moment that our bodies were entwined. It was slow, and we made love for hours, the slow and steady motions that our bodies made were perfectly in tune. I had no idea that we could be so much in touch with our feelings. Each orgasm had a sense of fatality to it, like an amazing thing was going to end.

I cried after he fell asleep. I didn’t want to lose him, not this early, not like this. I couldn’t believe it, but I was starting to fall in love with this man. I hugged my knees and sobbed as silently as possible. I watched him breathe next to me in my bed and mourned his loss before he was gone. He stirred a little and reached out for me. His hand rested on my leg and he sighed and settled back down happily breathing in and out.

He left the next morning after we woke up and let me get to work. I shuffled in and out of emotions like an eclectic play list. One moment I was crying, the next moment I was happy that he couldn’t hurt me like John had. I didn’t get a lot of work done because my mood wouldn’t stay still. It was a frantic day of emotional highs and lows. He called me later and I told him that I needed to get some emergency work done and couldn’t meet with him. I didn’t know how to face him with these emotions running through my body. They were interfering with my entire life. I spent the night working hard and heavy I worked until my fingers cramped up.

The next day, he called me first thing in the morning and asked if I would like to see him later that afternoon. I thought about it long and hard until I realized that this would be my last night with him. I could not let the last night with him go to waste.  I told him to come over and rushed to shower and put some food in the house. The grocery store was packed with other people as I bought some champagne and strawberries. They weren’t the fancy things like we had on our first night, but they were enough to bring up memories of our first night together. I also bought some shrimp and noodles to make shrimp pasta for him tonight. I finished up my shopping and got back to my house. I didn’t plan on going out tonight so I wore a nice bohemian skirt and anklet. A decent white tank finished my outfit. Twirling in the mirror I thought that I looked nice.

At that moment my buzzer went off. I let him up to the apartment and he came in with a beautiful bouquet wrapped in cellophane in his hand. “Where do you want to go tonight?” He asked me.

“I have no idea, you’re the visitor and what would you like to see the most?”

“
I’m looking at her.” He smiled at me and handed me my flowers. They were a dozen of the most beautiful red roses I had ever seen. The arrangement was complimented by three stargazer lilies. I had worked on a website for a local florist recently and knew that the stem prices of these flowers were rather large.

I dug out a vase and put the flowers into water. “That’s so sweet.” I told him. “but flattery will get you nowhere.” I lied.

He walked up behind me and helped me with the roses. His arms covered mine as we filled up the vase. I loved every second of this domestic bliss that happened at that moment. It felt so natural.

We spent the rest of the day and all night in bed, tangled in the sheets we rolled together. The sheets were soon kicked off the bed and we stayed together in bed only leaving to take care of eating and using the restroom. It was exhausting and romantic and wonderful. We didn’t talk a lot because we knew that it would be a very sad goodbye.

**

In the morning we quietly dressed and walked down to a waiting car. I told him that I would take him to the airport and say good-bye, but I felt myself dreading the moment that he stepped up to security. After that moment he would be gone from my life. Probably forever.

No matter how painful this was, however, I had to do this. I had to see this relationship to its inevitable conclusion. No matter how much I loved him, long distance relationships never work. We would fade out of each other’s lives, but the memories would not fade so easily. It was a nightmare that started as the best dream in the world.

I realized at the moment that we got out of the cab that I loved him. He checked his luggage and we had a little bit of time before he had to catch his flight. It was the saddest moment in my life. We sat down for lunch at a small café in the airport. I cleared my throat.

“Is there something wrong with your food?” He asked me, obviously concerned and ready to flag our waiter down.

“
No, it’s not that. It’s just…” I let my sentence trail off.

“
I know. I don’t like it either. ” He whispered. He was honestly letting me know that he loved me. I appreciated it, but it wasn’t changing anything. I hated the timing of this conversation.

“
I-I think I love you.” I stuttered through the words.

“
Well....I love you too.” There was a tear in his eye as he spoke. He didn’t like to say good-bye any more than I did.

“
I don’t want you to go.” The tears were welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that I was telling him this, when in less than an hour he would be gone from my life.

“
You could always come to London.”

“
I would love to.” I didn’t know if I would have the money for a vacation any time soon.

“
I will call you when I arrive. We’ll figure something out.” The promise sounded a little empty. I wasn’t sure if it sounded that way because of my hopelessness or because it was actually empty. “I will definitely come to visit again soon. I hope we can get together then.”

“
That would be great.” I forced a smile, trying to make his last couple hours in the States pleasant. “I’m glad you enjoyed your trip.” It sounded so hollow when I said it. What I really wanted to do was beg him to stay here with me. I wanted to drop down to my knees and tell him that I couldn’t live without him. I wanted to ask him to stay with me. I wanted to tell him he could live with me and we could stay this happy together forever, but I knew it was a silly dream. He couldn’t stay, and I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t put that burden on him. He had a job and a life back in London and I couldn’t ask him to give that all up for me.

Our conversation was quiet and pained. We fought our way through our meal, but it was tempered by a painful good-bye. When we finished eating he paid for our meal and took his carry-on bag into the security point. I waved from the gate as the removed his shoes.

I moved to the windows of the airport and watched his plane until it left. I was broken inside and hailed a cab to take me home. I ruined my mascara as he drove me to my house.

“
Are you OK, lady?” The cabbie asked. I could see his eyes in the rear view mirror. The brows were knitted together with concern.

“
I will be.” I told him. “I just let a man I love walk out of my life.” When the words came out of my mouth they were punctuated with my depression. I didn’t want this to happen. I couldn’t take much more of this.

“
Why?” He seemed to understand what I was saying. “He left for someone else?”

“
No, it’s not that. He was just here on vacation. We met, fell in love and he had to go back home.”

“
That’s bad.” The cabbie looked like the pain had seeped out of me and hit him in the gut. He was empathic and I needed that at the moment.

“
I know. I met him less than a week ago. He’s already gone.”

“
The internet is an amazing thing.” The cabbie reminded me. “You guys could video chat and stay in touch. I think it is called Skype or something like that.”

“
It’s not the same.” I told him. It would be nice to think that it would work, but I knew that it wasn’t and our love would fade in time.

“
I know how you feel. It’s one of those times when you say you’ll keep in touch, but it really doesn’t happen. I been there myself years back.” He was commiserating with me as I cried all the way home.

“
I loved him. I really did. I never loved anyone that deeply before this. I hated to watch him go. I watched his plane take off. He’s gone. He’s gone forever. There’s nothing I can do about it. I wanted to beg him to stay, to tell him I couldn’t live without him, but I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t ask him to leave his entire life for me.” I ranted at him. I don’t know why I ranted at this strange cabbie, but I couldn’t keep these emotions trapped any longer. I let them out all over the backseat of that cab.

“
I’m sure you did.” There was no sarcasm or condescension in his voice. I believed that he honestly understood. It didn’t make my sadness go away, but it did make me feel a little better to know that someone understood. “I met a girl once who came here from Germany. She was beautiful. We spent a lot of time together before she left. But then we didn’t really keep in touch. I tried but it just did not work out.”

“
I hope he keeps in touch.” Even he didn’t sound like he believed it. It was kind of a sorry subject.

“
You never know, he might knock on your door a few minutes after you get back.”

“
That only happens in movies.” I was trying to be realistic, but something told me that it wasn’t going to happen. I wallowed in depression as I made my way to the elevator in my building.

When I got into my place, I changed into my ratty pajamas and pulled the emergency ice cream out of the freezer. The whole pint. I plopped onto the couch and turned on the TV to a sappy romantic comedy.

Anything to get my mind off him.

Anything to get my mind off of my
English Muffin.