My Once and Future Love (34 page)

“Long, but uneventful.”

“Hon, let her catch you up later. Beth needs
some sleep.”

“Oh! Sorry, forgot about the time difference.
Sure, go ahead, the room’s ready. Holler if you need anything.
Andrew, carry her bag into the guest room.” She took my coat off
me, hung it on the stand next to the door, and nudged me toward the
kitchen. “Here, the cocoa will relax you.”

Mug in hand, I shuffled to the room my
brother stood outside of and poked my head in. Nice, especially the
bed. I couldn’t wait to bury under the warm blankets.

“Merry Christmas, Beth,” Andrew said, and
shut the door.

I unzipped my carry-on, found my pajamas and
toothbrush, and went to the adjacent bathroom. Ready to sleep, I
shut off the lights, set my glasses on the nightstand, and pulled
the covers over my head.

For the first time in months, there were no
nightmares.

****

After an uncomfortable Christmas dinner party
with Mum and her friends, he started to think maybe some people
were right. Maybe he had been taking stardom to the extreme last
summer.

The night began alright. He dressed in a suit
with no tie and came down for the party on time, but instead of the
usual warm reception he received from his mother’s friends, they
were polite, but cool. Disapproving. They watched him carefully,
like they expected him to fly off the rails any second. What
exactly had been printed about him here? He knew his mother
wouldn’t gossip—it wasn’t her way.

Later, when everyone was gone, he stood by
the tree and the fireplace with the traditional glass of cordial
and stared at the flames.

“It was lovely seeing everyone again, yes?”
Mum asked.

“Don’t know if they’d say the same.”

She stopped next to him, eyes also on the
fire. “What do you mean?”

“They think I’m a disappointment to you, Mum.
You have to have noticed.”

“Jacob, I think you’re being a bit
sensitive.”

He drained the last sip in the glass. “No,
I’m really not. I see more than people think I do, Mum. And your
friends’ whispers weren’t terribly discrete.” He handed her the
empty glass. “Think I’ll turn in early.”

“Jacob…”

He glanced over his shoulder, ready to flee
if she said the wrong thing.

“Darling, you’re too good a man to be
just
a rock star. If you need to talk, I’m right here.”

He sighed. “I know, Mum. You always have
been. Happy Christmas.”

“Good night, son.”

The rest of his stay went a bit easier and he
made an effort to spend some quality time with his mother, taking
her shopping and to dinner and seeing a few shows.

2009

Jacob looked at the New Year as a new chance.
He’d be better, work harder…the tour would take all his energy,
anyway, so he wouldn’t be able to get in trouble.

When they were both back in L.A., he
apologized to Beth.

“I accept. May I propose we keep our
relationship strictly professional from here on? I think that would
be best for both of us.”

“If that makes you more comfortable,
Bethie.”

“It does. This tour will put a lot of
pressure on all of us, so it’s best we get along.”

He nodded. “Hope you had a good holiday?”

She smiled. “It was lovely, yes. My brother’s
made a good life for himself and it’s a nice town. I was tempted to
stay, even with the snow.”

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t run you off for
good.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “I do need you here.”

“I know.”

January was all work, rehearsing the concert
routine for the tour in a giant studio space where the crew could
practice setting up and taking down the set. The band didn’t do
choreography or include dance acts, but the show still had to be
exciting. The music was the easy part.

They got one night off for the Super Bowl.
Jacob didn’t care anything for American football, but he’d done a
commercial airing today, so the sponsor invited them to a private
box and Lynn wouldn’t let him refuse. His mates were pretty
excited, though, and Beth was familiar with the game.

She walked ahead of him behind the usher
showing them to their box.

“Liz?”

Liz? Who was this bloke calling “Liz”?

“Oh my God, Nathan? What are you doing here?”
Beth hugged some guy in a suit. Who wears a suit to a game? Then
again, she was wearing her usual business-casual outfit.

“I’m with a party in a box. Wow, it’s
been--”

“Since graduation, yeah. Oh, sorry, this is
my boss, Jacob Lindsey. Nathan and I went to UCLA together.” She
looked happy to see him.

Jacob shook the guy’s hand, adding some extra
grip. Nathan squeezed back and made eye contact.

“I’d love to catch up if you have time during
the game,” he said to Beth.

“I’m sure I can manage.” She smiled at him, a
genuine-Bethie smile.

Jacob watched their interaction and felt sure
there was a story there. “Pet, the man’s waiting to show us to our
seats.”

“Sorry.” She smiled at Nathan again. “It was
really good seeing you again.”

Jacob escorted her down the hall to catch up
with his mates. Looking back, he saw her friend watch her go. Oh,
yeah, definitely a story here.

“So, who’s the yuppie?”

“Oh, Nathan? Like I said, we went to college
together. Same major.”

“And?”

“He’s a friend, or was back then. Why are you
so curious all of a sudden?”

He shrugged. “No reason. Just you don’t talk
about the past much. Wondered if he was a part of it.”

“Jacob, you’re my boss. I don’t have to share
anything personal with you.” She opened the door for him. “What’s
your drink order today?”

“Just a beer.” The sponsor had a buffet set
out on a long table. He grabbed a plate and waited for Aaron to
move forward.

She took a notepad and pen out of her blazer
pocket. “Guys, did you place beverage orders, yet?” The replies
were negative, so she took down their preferences.

Jacob sighed. Clearly the conversation was
over.

She was right of course. He technically had
no right to personal details, but he did wonder about her life away
from him. If she’d had feelings for anyone else. If she still
did.

****

Running into Nathan in a football stadium was
the last thing I expected to happen. I was happy to see him,
though. Aside from that mistake on my twenty-first birthday, I’d
enjoyed his company, and that night wasn’t his fault, anyway. With
the guys busy having a good time, I slipped out to find Nathan’s
box.

When I spotted him through a window, I
knocked on the door. He glanced over from his conversation and I
waved. He smiled and came to the door.

“Hey, you made it.”

“Yep. I have a few minutes before I’ll be
needed again.”

“Well, have a seat.” He led me to the corner.
“Catch me up on the past couple years.”

“Well, I started as Mr. Lindsey’s personal
assistant a little over a year ago. He’s a musician.”

“I recognize him. How did you end up there?
You were working in advertising, right?”

“Yeah, I did. I’ve known Jacob since I was
fourteen, see, and we ran into each other in L.A. He needed help
and offered a much better salary, so I took it. It’s a busy
life.”

Nathan nodded. “I bet, though I expected to
see you in management by now.”

“I am, in a sense. Though I’m an employee, I
get to boss those guys around to get them where they’re needed on
time and stuff, and I’m definitely multitasking.”

He took a business card out of his pocket.
“Well, if you’re ever interested in a change of career, give me a
call.”

I smiled, flattered by the offer. “You don’t
know what kind of worker I am.”

“A workaholic with a quick mind, just like
me. Seriously, I’d find a place for you, Lizzie.”

There was a bit too much warmth in his eyes.
“Thanks, but Nathan…I still don’t date, for the record.”

He smiled. “Who has the time? Check the
card.”

I did. Under his name was “CEO”. “Oh, wow,
you really shot up there.”

“I’m based in New York. If you ever have a
free minute in town, we’ll grab lunch. No strings.” He winked.
Getting into his mid-twenties looked good on him.

“I’d like that.”

Nathan saw me to the door, a hand on my back.
“Oh, and Beth? I remember the night of your birthday,” he
whispered. “We didn’t do what it looked like.”

“
Oh
. No…interlocking?”

“Nope. Thought you’d want to know.”

“Thank you.” I hugged him. “Not knowing for
sure was--”

“Yeah. I know. Keep in touch, hmm?”

“Absolutely. Enjoy the game.” Smiling, I
left, feeling a weight of my past lift off my shoulders.

****

Jacob pulled Beth aside when she finally came
back to the box. “Where have you been? You’re on the clock.”

“I only stepped out for a few minutes. You
guys had full plates and glasses and were busy yelling at the
game.”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t pay you to socialize
on the clock.”

“Exchanging contact info isn’t what I’d call
‘socializing’. I spent more time in the restroom.”

“I’m serious, Beth.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry, sir. Reporting
in to cater to your every whim.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get smart.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was smiling and
had a bit of the old spunk back.

He ground his teeth, biting back a retort. It
wouldn’t do to argue in front of one of the tour sponsors, and he
was happy to see her in a better mood.

“Just park it.”

“Yes, sir.” She saluted him and went to the
empty chair next to Dylan.

Jacob felt emotionally tired. They used to
have fun together. He used to make her laugh and she was so
supportive. Now, all they did was spar and clash, and not in the
good fight-to-have-make-up-sex way. Bob was a good friend, but no
replacement for Bethie. And now someone
else
had put a light
in her eyes.

He still dreamt of her, sometimes. Their
first night together would replay in his mind when he felt his
loneliest. He’d wake up with tears on his cheeks and horny as hell,
and reach for the bottle in the bottom drawer of his nightstand.
Other dreams were about a missed future or the distant past. But
for the life of him, he couldn’t seem to change this pattern they’d
gotten in to.

Chapter Six

2009 continued…

The label paired the band with an opening act
for the Europe tour. She was beautiful and charismatic with a sexy
voice, and flirted shamelessly with my ex. What was worse is that
he seemed to be responding.

I watched Simone and Jacob practice the
closing number of the encore—
everyone
stopped what they were
doing and watched. They were two peas in a pod, mega powerful on a
stage together, and god, it hurt. I expected them to either burst
into twin flames or start going at it on the dais.

“Mesmerizing, aren’t they?” Lynn said.
“They’ll be throwing money at us.”

I nodded. Bob and Aaron came up on my other
side.

“Fifty bucks says they’re knockin’ boots by
Berlin,” Aaron said.

Bob smacked him upside the head again. “Don’t
be crude in front of the ladies.”

“Coming from you the potty mouth?”

“That’s different. My speech is colorful.
You’re offensive.”

“Whatever.” Aaron rolled his eyes and walked
off. Kids.

Still, Jacob and Simone finished the last
note with eyes locked and breathing heavy, and I couldn’t fault
Aaron’s analysis. Unless she was gay, how could she resist?

I handed Jacob a bottle of water. “Good set,
sir. The limo is waiting to take you home.” We were shipping out
tomorrow.

“Thanks, pet. Gotta get a good night of
sleep. Sure won’t be many for the next two months.” He dried off
his face with a hand towel and tossed it to a minion. “Where’s my
shirt?”

I pulled a clean tee out of my bag and handed
it to him. He was sweaty from rehearsal under the hot lights and
always insisted on riding home in a dry shirt.

Simone watched him peel off the dirty tee.
Yup, definitely trouble. At least I was the one he was leaving with
tonight.

And god, it wasn’t even that I
wanted
him. I didn’t. It was stupid to feel possessive or territorial or
jealous—whatever I felt when I saw them interact—but I couldn’t
seem to help it. A primal thing, I guess. I didn’t want another
girl on this trip.

“You okay, love?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been quiet the whole way home,
starin’ out that window.”

“Oh. No, I’m fine. Just a lot on my
mind.”

“Yeah, this European tour is the biggest
thing we’ve attempted.”

I studied him. “Nervous?”

“Anxious to get started. I’m as ready as I’ll
ever be.”

True. He’d been working his ass off for a
month. “Well, I’ve tried to make your schedule consistent. Most
days, you’ll be up at ten and back at the hotel at 2:00AM.”

He cracked a grin. “Like not gettin’ up
early.”

“None of you do. Lucky you work at
night.”

Marty drove through the gate and parked in
front of the house. I got out first.

“Sweet dreams, Bethie,” Jacob said.

“You won’t stay up late?”

“Scout’s honor.”

The limo left. I went right to the guest
house; Jacob went to the front door.

****

“Tour Spy” went back to work. That was
actually the least stressful part of my job. In the year since the
site was created, the forum had grown too large for me to oversee
on my own and moderators were put in place, but I still had final
say as admin. Thankfully, the fandom rarely needed me to wield the
ban hammer. Requiring a ten-dollar-a-year fan club membership fee
helped discourage spammers.

The first concert in Dublin set off rumors
about Jacob and Simone. Fan girls love to “ship” people together
and the singers were prime targets with the natural chemistry they
exhibited. It could be just good acting as far as the fans knew,
but discussion threads popped up overnight with photos “proving”
their theories.