My Once and Future Love (37 page)

That friendship truce got us all the way into
2010. Jacob had a hard time writing all summer and finally told the
label he needed more time, then scheduled a confab with the band to
hash out where they wanted to go next. By December, they had a
bunch of home demos recorded and awaited the decision from the
suits on what to proceed with.

Neither of us got to visit family this
Christmas. He was scheduled to sing at nearly every holiday
special, then we were on a TV set in January for a guest spot he
was filming.

He was playing the Hot Guy competition for
the male lead and we were there at eight in the morning for
make-up. Lynn approved the script, so Jacob and I went over his
lines last night.

I watched a girl even his skin tone and blot
away any shine. Though his eyelashes were long and naturally dark,
she used clear mascara on them. A second woman did his hair at the
same time. There was little for me to do at these things but watch
them film. As long as I kept him in water or coffee, he was happy,
and the production provided lunch.

The gals were quick, done with him in fifteen
minutes. Wardrobe already gave him the shirt they wanted him to
wear, so we walked to the set. He sat in a director’s chair marked
“Guest”. I got to stand.

“Do you have your phone on you?” I asked him.
He handed it over and I muted it. “Here’s your script and water
bottle.”

“Thanks, Beth.”

“Nervous?”

“Not really.”

“Remember your lines?”

“Pretty much. I’ve done small roles before,
pet.”

“I know, but this one’s bigger than
before.”

He shrugged. “Still have rehearsal. And
there’s my leading lady.” She pushed out of the chair and ambled to
a sunny blonde built like Hollywood preferred—skinny with big
boobs. He smiled up at him, then giggled at something he said. He
was flirting and she liked it.

I’d seen this a hundred times before, so I
picked up the water bottle, sat in his chair, and watched the
bee-hive-busyness around me. Once the actual taping started, he
wouldn’t need me, so I moved to sit with the audience and watch the
scenes. Natural chemistry zinged between him and the actress.

When they broke for lunch, it was no surprise
Jacob stayed chatting with the girl, and inevitable that she asked
him to go for drinks with the cast when they wrapped.

“I’ll get a ride home,” I told him. “Go have
fun. Just remember you have to be here tomorrow morning, too.”

“I’ll be good. Goodnight, Beth.” He slipped
on his jacket and walked to the waiting blonde.

I found a ride with another PA. Maria’s brows
rose when I walked in the house alone.

“Mr. Lindsey in the garage?”

“Nope. He met a girl.”

“
Oh
. Did he drop you off?”

“Nah.” I left my jacket on a kitchen chair
and raided the fridge.

“You should’ve called me to pick you up.
Don’t get in a stranger’s car.”

“It was another female PA, Maria. I have a
bit of common sense.”

“Still. I’m disappointed.”

“Fine, I’ll get a cab next--”

“In Mr. Lindsey. He should make sure you’re
home safe before having fun.”

Sighing, I said, “I told him to go. The cast
was waiting for him.”

“You let him get away with too much,” she
said, arms crossed under her breasts.

“Probably. Goodnight, Maria. Go home to your
family.”

“I could make dinner…”

“Nah…I’ll just heat something up. I’ve got
work to do.” I picked up my jacket and went out the side door to my
cottage. She meant well, but I didn’t need the mothering, at least
not tonight.

Jacob’s Jag pulled in at two in the morning.
I switched off the TV and walked into the house to see if he was
sober or not. He jumped when he walked in from the garage.

“God, you scared me, Bethie. What are you
doing up?”

“Working. Have a nice time?”

He smiled. “Yeah.” Passing under the light in
the hallway, there was a lipstick mark on his collar. A good time,
indeed. “’Night.” He walked up the stairs, whistling.

Yup, he got laid, or close to it.
Slut
.

Eh, I shouldn’t cast assumptions on a woman I
didn’t know. Maybe Jacob got past her usual defenses and good
sense. It happened to me.

The next day, I learned her name was Amanda
and she was twenty-one. Within a week, I discovered she liked to
party. Jacob came home late every night smelling like a cheap
club—cigarettes, alcohol, and a bit of sweat. The relationship hit
the tabloids, then entertainment news, and they were soon the
latest golden couple, the rising actress and gorgeous rock star. I
didn’t want to know what parts of the relationship were real and
which weren’t. It wouldn’t last—his girlfriends never did.

But at least he didn’t bring her home at
night.

Chapter Seven

2011

After three-and-a-half years as a personal
assistant, I considered myself a glutton for punishment.

Rolling over, I eyed the large green numbers
on my alarm clock. Six-fifteen. Good, I could sleep another hour. I
burrowed under the covers to doze until the alarm went off. With
any luck, I’d even get breakfast this morning before the calls
started.

On-call twenty-four-seven, it was good to be
busy, except when he woke me up before seven. Meant I didn’t have
time to think about my lack of a personal life.

“Bethie?” Jacob called over the intercom.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got a terrible headache and can’t find
the aspirin. Could you come over and find it for me, pet?”

Great, another hangover.

For the past…I don’t know…he’d been coming
home smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. So many people in this
stupid business smoked. He was…a social drinker, I guess they’d
call it, only having a beer or two in the house, but living it up
in a club. Thank God he always took the limo.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Give me a few
minutes.”

I fumbled into some clothes and pulled my
plain brown hair into a messy bun. Stepping out of the guest house,
I groaned, noticing the sun just barely peeked over the horizon.
One of these days, I was going to kill him.

Letting myself into the mansion with my set
of keys, I trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, hoping he had
pants on, and knocked as I slowly opened the door, finding him
sitting on the edge of the bed bent over and holding his head in
his hands. I’d seen him shirtless more times than I could count and
the sight no longer stirred me, especially when he was being an
idiot.

“Late night?”

He grunted in reply. His moan of pain when I
turned the bathroom light on gave me a small bit of delight. The
aspirin was in the medicine cabinet, right where it should be. I
brought back two tablets and a glass of water.

“Here. Drink it all. Then drink another glass
and get in the shower. You have a photo shoot today.”

“I thought that was tomorrow.”

“No,
yesterday
it was tomorrow. I told
you not to go out last night. I won’t always be around to bail you
out of your messes, you know.”

He caught my hand as I turned to leave, his
blue eyes bloodshot. “You would never leave me, would you, Bethie?
I need you, babe.”

He always called me “Bethie” when he didn’t
feel well and wanted to be pampered.

I brushed his highlighted hair out of his
eyes. “Don’t call me ‘babe’. Now get yourself presentable. I’ll
have Maria make some toast.”

He set the empty glass on his nightstand and
smiled at me. “Thanks, babe. You’re the best.” He yawned, wobbled
to his feet, and managed to stagger into the bathroom and shut the
door.

Many people had come and go since that big
blow-out on the European tour a couple years ago and he’d come to
rely on me staying. He wasn’t really capable of grudges, and our
current relationship was like guardian and child. He wanted to be
taken care of and I had nowhere else to go. Talk about
dysfunction.

There used to be a time where he wanted to
take care of me.

I shook my head and went down to the kitchen.
It was going to be a long day.

When the water had been running a half hour,
I ran upstairs and pounded on his door, then got a pint of coffee
in him and made him eat something in the kitchen. I shuffled him
into the limo, sunglasses in place, and we were on our way to
Smashbox Studios for the shoot. He slept the whole way there.

I sighed as we pulled up to the building.
“Jacob, come on, move your butt. You’re barely on time.”

“Yeah, yeah…how do I look?” His eyes were
heavy-lidded with circles underneath them and he sported a
five-o-clock shadow. He wore a faded Ozzy tee and blue jeans with a
hole in the knee.

I rolled my eyes. “Like a hung-over rock
star. Thank god they have make-up inside.” I pushed him toward the
doors. “Go!”

He grumbled and strutted into the studio,
persona in place. The photographer took one look at him and shook
his head, calling for make-up.

Jacob refused the caterer’s offerings, asking
only for coffee and, “Can I smoke in here?”

“You can’t smoke inside anywhere in
California but home, Mr. Lindsey,” I reminded him. At work, it was
yes, sir
and
no, sir
and
can I get you something,
sir?

He stuck his tongue out at me when no one was
looking and slouched in his chair, defining difficult the entire
day.

Six hours later, we finally left.

I smacked him hard on the shoulder once we
were alone in the limo.

“Ow! What was that for?” He rubbed his arm
and pouted.

“You were being an ass! I told you not to go
out and party last night, but nooo, you didn’t want to listen, and
so you were a royal pain today and now they’re going to write you
up as a frickin’ prima donna if I don’t get Lynn to intercede
pronto. God, you’re twenty-eight years old, Jacob. When are you
going to stop acting like a child?”

His face hardened with anger. “We may go back
a long way, Miss Lawson, but I don’t pay you to talk to me like
that.”

“Fine…sir. The next stop is your management
firm. They want to discuss the promos for your new album.”

“Fine.”

We sat in awkward silence. When the limo
stopped, I handed him an itinerary and stayed in the car.

“You’re not coming?” he asked, sounding
surprised.

I shook my head. “I have work to do at the
office. Marty knows where to drive you today.”

“Oh. Okay.” He nodded, and closed the
door.

I let out a breath as the limo pulled away.
We had more tension between us than ever before, and I was close to
using my escape clause and walking away, though I still had two
years on my contract. With his constant partying and swelled ego, I
didn’t know how long I could keep supporting him. Or was that
enabling him?

Shaking off my thoughts, I concentrated on
work while Marty drove back to the mansion to drop me off.

Later, I sat at the kitchen table while Maria
bustled about the kitchen.

“It was terrible.”

She leaned against the counter. “You and Mr.
Lindsey will make up. You always do.”

“This time was worse. He pulled rank on me. I
just don’t know how long I can stay, Maria. I know PAs are
basically slaves to the whim of the stars, but with Jacob…I haven’t
had a day off in forever. I’m a workaholic, always have been,
but…he’s not the guy I used to know.”

“So tell him. Men aren’t mind readers, you
know.”

I sighed. “I can’t right now. There isn’t
time. Maybe after the album release. Besides, I don’t even know if
he’ll listen anymore.”

****

That evening, Jacob walked over to the
cottage to apologize. He glanced in the window, seeing Beth bent
over a giant date planner, glasses sliding down her nose and hair
in a sloppy ponytail. She looked exhausted, but he still found her
beautiful.

He knocked as he opened the door.

“Yes, Mr. Lindsey?”

Ouch. Formal title. “Look, Bethie, I’m--”

“You were right. We should conduct a
professional relationship as professionals. Please call me Beth or
Miss Lawson, sir.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I took my discomfort
out on you today, Beth. Um…goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

He nodded again and turned to leave.
Wait…

“Beth… Are we still friends?”

She finally looked up at him. “Friends share
equal footing. That hasn’t been us for a long time.”

“You’re right. Of course.” He managed to get
out the door without revealing how much her words hurt.

Had he finally managed to drive her away? The
work wasn’t any easier, but he tried most days to be nice, to get
along. They’d been through a lot in almost three and a half years,
most recently the delay of his second album. The label wanted it
out last year and she supported his creative decision to get the
songs out right, not fast, and it was even her idea to release a
deluxe single months ago to appease the higher-ups and whet the
fans’ appetites. Now, it was nearly Spring with the special edition
album drop a week away. He’d need her by his side more than
ever.

****

Jacob surprised me by being showered, shaved,
and dressed on time.

Being on time was against his rock star
sensibilities. Hell, I’d known him since he was sixteen and never
seen him wear a watch. Meant he felt guilty for the fight we had
yesterday and was sucking up.

I had errands to run, so I gave him his
itinerary and sent him off after breakfast.

“List of things to do—check. Wireless
earpiece—check. Cell phone--”

Jacob’s first single played as my ringtone.
Great, I’m barely out the door and the calls are
starting
.

“Beth Lawson.”

His publicist was on the phone. Lynn was good
at her job, but the woman seriously needed to lay off the caffeine,
for one, and two, realize we were human and couldn’t be in two
places at once.