My Own Mr. Darcy (38 page)

I was buckling my turquoise
sandals when my phone rang.

“Hi Matt. You almost
here?”

“Babe, I’m so sorry. I
meant to call you earlier and then I got tied up here and I forgot.”

“So when will you be
here?” I looked at the clock. It was almost time to leave for the wedding
rehearsal and dinner. If he was running too far behind, he’d have to meet me
there.

“I’m in Seattle.”

I deflated on the edge of
the bed. “What? Why are you still there? You were supposed to leave this
morning.”

“Like I said, I got
involved in some things here and I didn’t get away.”

“But Matt, this is a big
deal. This is Janessa’s wedding rehearsal. And dinner. And I’m supposed to
bring a date.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“What about tomorrow? Will
you be here for the wedding?”

“I promise I will. I’m
finishing up these books with Alan and then I’m driving home tonight. I promise
I won’t leave you hanging.”

A little breeze of sadness
blew through my heart. Why was it so easy for Matt to blow off things he knew
were important to me? Janessa was my best friend. She was more like a sister to
me. This was an important time and Matt was in Seattle helping Alan with some
books. Did they really have to be gone over today?

I applied some lipstick
and straightened my pink shift dress before putting on a white cardigan. I
looked pretty. Matt was missing out.

The rehearsal at the
church went off without a snarl. The cheerful mood was like a warm fire on a
cold day and soon my disappointment that Matt wasn’t coming disappeared and I
joined in on the fun.

Ben and Janessa beamed. I
choked back tears when I saw how Ben looked at Janessa. The minister teased
them by making them practice their kiss several times and the room became more
and more jovial as each kiss became longer and more dramatic. After the last
kiss, one that had Janessa bent backward nearly to the floor, she came up with
tears of laughter streaming down her face.

“The bride’s crying and
she’s not even married yet,” Ben’s father said. “This isn’t a good sign.”

When the minister
determined they were proficient enough kissers, the party convened at a private
room at Torta-Landia, the site of Janessa and Ben’s first date.

When the meal was
finished, Ben’s father stood and tapped his glass. “Don’t anyone think you’re
leaving. We’re just getting started.” A few people cheered and he continued.
“Before they bring in our dessert, I thought we could share some of our
favorite memories of Ben and Janessa.”

I laughed more than I had
in ages as stories were told of Ben and Janessa. Some stories were from before
they met. Others had happened in the last eighteen months. With each story,
jokes and teasing and laughter followed. It was obvious Ben and Janessa’s
families liked each other and an easy rapport filled the room. I wondered how
they knew each other so well.

When it was my turn, I stood,
a little nervous. “Janessa has been my best friend forever. I’ve watched her
learn many skills but one she will probably always struggle with is cooking.”
Several people voiced their agreement and laughed. “After Janessa had been
dating Ben for a couple of months, she decided to cook him a special dinner.
She bought steaks and marinated them to grill. She saute’d mushrooms, baked
potatoes and even made a salad that didn’t come out of a bag.”

“Don’t forget the banana
cream pie,” Ben said.

“Right. She even made a
banana cream pie. Just before the steaks were finished, she and Ben were
setting the table and suddenly there was a huge explosion. Janessa dropped the
bowl of salad and it shattered on the floor. The explosion had come from the
oven. Janessa shrieked and said they needed to evacuate the building because it
was probably a gas line or something. She almost cried when Ben walked to the
oven door and started to open it.”

“I thought he was going to
explode, too,” Janessa said.

“When Ben opened the oven,
he found the remains of two baked potatoes. They’d exploded and were all over
the oven.”

“There’s still potato bits
burned onto the roof of the oven,” Janessa said.

“Don’t tell them that.
They’ll think we never clean,” I said.

“I had no idea you needed
to stick a fork in a potato before you baked it.”

“You know now,” Ben said
and kissed Janessa.

When all the stories had
been shared, a happy buzz overtook the room as assorted conversations took
place over fried ice cream and flan.

“It’s a beautiful thing
when two families find each other like this.” Ben’s brother Sam had slid into
the empty chair beside me.

“I didn’t think your
families knew each other,” I said.

“We didn’t. Tonight’s the
first night everyone’s been together. My parents met Janessa’s parents when
they got engaged and some of us have met a relative here and there, but this is
the first big family gathering.”

“It’s amazing how well
everyone gets along. They’re all having so much fun together.” I knew if I
married Matt, we’d never be able to have a gathering like this. Our wedding
would be awkward and stilted at best. I imagined babies coming and each family
trying to avoid the other. I pictured school plays where we sat between two
families who had nothing in common. It made me sad and suddenly I was glad I
was here to enjoy this alone. Would Matt enjoy the easy banter, the familiar
jokes, the sarcasm? I didn’t know and I was glad I didn’t have to worry about
it and could just enjoy the evening.

“Janessa said you were
bringing your boyfriend.”

“I was. He got held up in
Seattle. But he’ll be here tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

We sat quietly for a
minute, both of us watching Ben and Janessa.

“They’re so good
together,” I said as they laughed at something just between the two of them.

“They’re lucky to have
found each other,” Sam said.

“Hey Sam,” a cousin called
from two tables over. “You were on that rafting trip in Idaho. Come settle this
bet.”

“I guess I’d better go keep
the peace.” He scooted back his chair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sorry Matt couldn’t come
tonight,” Janessa said a few hours later. We were sprawled out in her childhood
bedroom. Her twin bed had been replaced a few years ago by a queen bed to
accommodate company. Tonight we were staying here, our last official sleepover
before she became Mrs. Stapleton.

“I’m not,” I said. Janessa
rolled onto her stomach to look at me but I kept staring at the star-filled
ceiling. “Remember when we hung all those?” I asked pointing at the white
plastic stars. When the lights were off, they’d glow, but in the light of the
two lamps, they looked flat and childish.

“I remember. Mom didn’t
think they’d actually work and she made me promise if they didn’t I’d take them
all down myself.”

“How many are there? A
hundred?”

“At least. I bought four
packages. I don’t remember how many were in each package.” Janessa studied my
face. “Why are you glad Matt wasn’t here?” I shrugged. “Not an answer,” she
said.

“I don’t know. I just
think it was more fun without him.”

“Really? Why?”

I propped myself up on my
elbows. “Janessa, tonight is not about Matt. Or me. It’s about you. And you
looked beautiful tonight. And so happy. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks. And since tonight
is about me, I get to decide what we talk about. And I want to know why you’re
glad Matt couldn’t come.” She sat up and crossed her legs facing me.

“You’re so manipulative,”
I said without any irritation.

“I know. So out with it.”

I sat up and faced her.
“It just wouldn’t have been as fun. He doesn’t joke a lot or laugh like that. I
just think it was more comfortable this way.” Janessa nodded. “I can’t imagine
my family and Matt’s family getting along the way your families do. I can’t
imagine a rehearsal dinner that’s so much fun.”

Janessa was quiet for a
minute before she spoke again. “Lizzie, you know I love you, right?”

“Uh oh,” I said with a
smile.

“You know, right?”

“Yes,” I said. “I know.”

“Then I want to tell you
something and I don’t want you to get mad. No storming out and leaving me
without a maid of honor. Promise?”

“I promise.”

She took both my hands in
hers. “Matt isn’t right for you.”

Where did those tears come
from? Tonight was happy and I was with my best friend. Why were tears suddenly
streaming down my face?

“You’re supposed to be
with someone fun,” she continued. “Someone cheerful and that can make you
smile. Not someone stodgy and uptight and worried about appearances. Matt might
be a great guy for someone else. But not for you.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“You do?” Janessa’s face looked
so shocked I almost laughed.

“I was watching you two
tonight and I saw the way Ben looked at you.” And then it hit me like the pin
bursting the balloon. “He looks at you like Mr. Darcy looks at Elizabeth,” I
said, more to myself than to Janessa.

“That’s because he adores
me,” Janessa said matter-of-factly.

“I don’t think Matt will
ever look at me like that.” Fresh tears flowed.

“That’s because he’s not
the right man for you, Lizzie. Somewhere out there is a man who will look at
you the way Ben looks at me. The way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth.” Janessa rolled
her eyes as she said that. She was so tired of my obsession with Mr. Darcy, I
knew it was only with great effort that she acknowledged him at all.

“I’m such a fool,” I said.
“I based my entire life on a in a movie.”

Janessa hugged me. “Lucky
for you, you’re only twenty-three and you haven’t married the wrong person.
Yet. Don’t let it happen.”

“I won’t.”

The wedding was beautiful.
The mood from the rehearsal dinner carried over, but in a warm and muted way.
The men wore cocoa brown suits. The women wore shades of lavender and violet.
Flowers perfumed the air and the sun was shining. Matt smiled at me as I walked
in ahead of Janessa. I smiled back.