My Own Mr. Darcy (39 page)

After the ceremony, in
which the minister only made Janessa and Ben kiss once, we reassembled at
Janessa’s grandfather’s house. His sweeping backyard was trimmed and manicured.
A large tent was set up for dinner and dancing. Benches and chairs were placed
around the yard for easy visiting.

“Everything is so
beautiful,” I said as I stood with Matt at the edge of the tent.

“It’s very nice,” Matt
said. “Mom will probably want to have ours at the country club. We’ll probably
want to have something here and there.”

I looked at Matt, shocked.
He smiled. This was going to be much harder than I’d thought.

The reception dragged on.
The atmosphere was fun, the food delicious, and I managed my maid-of-honor
duties without a problem, but deep in my stomach, a knot had formed. At first
it was just a little slipknot, but as the festivities continued, it became more
tangled and bigger and tighter. By the time we danced I could hardly speak.

At some point, Janessa
grabbed my hand. “Come help me change to leave,” she said. I was relieved to
get away from the reception. I helped Janessa change out of her lacy dress and
into a 1950’s looking silk suit, complete with a little veiled hat.

“You look so good,” I said
and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now
listen.” Janessa took me by the shoulders and made me look at her. “You can do
what you have to do. Be brave. Don’t mess up your future because you’re afraid
to change your dream.”

This was the second time
in a month someone had told me I could change my dream. I knew it was true. I
knew what I had to do.

“I won’t. Now don’t worry
about me.”

“Lizzie, I’ll always worry
about you. I can’t help it. I worry because I love you so much.”

We held each other close
and then walked down to the driveway, where I relinquished her hand to Ben.

“I’ll bet you’re tired,”
Matt said as he drove me home.

“A little.”

“You should sleep in
tomorrow and then let’s go see a movie and get some dinner,” Matt said.

I sat up straighter in my
seat and turned toward him. “Actually, can we go somewhere and talk?” I asked.

“Sure. We can do that
instead of a movie.”

“No, not tomorrow. I mean
right now.”

“Oh.” Matt looked at me
with a curious expression. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere is fine,” I
said. I didn’t want to lose the little storehouse of courage Janessa had given
me. “Actually let’s go right there. To that park.”

“It’s getting cold and you
don’t have a jacket.”

“We can just sit in the
car.”

Matt pulled into the
parking lot and turned off the car. “What’s going on, Elizabeth?”

I took a deep breath and
jumped in. “I don’t think this is working.”

“What’s not working?”

“This. Us. I don’t think
we’re right for each other.”

Matt looked like I’d just
sucker punched him. “What do you mean?”

“Matt, we’re not right for
each other. We’ll never make each other wildly, gloriously happy.”

“I’m happy, Elizabeth.”

I felt sick inside. I
didn’t want to hurt him but I wasn’t the right girl for him and he wasn’t the
right guy for me. “Matt, I wish you could have seen the dinner last night.”

“Elizabeth, I’ve
apologized for missing the dinner. I should have been here. If I’d known how
upset you were going to be, I’d have come home and then gone back later.”

“Matt, it isn’t that. I’m
not upset. And I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. I said it because if
you’d have been there last night, you’d have seen what blissfully happy people
look like. It’s the way they look at each other and the way they take care of
each other. It’s the way their families were together. Matt, we won’t ever have
that. No matter how hard we try.”

“Is this because of our
families?”

I shrugged. “Maybe a
little. But if we felt like Ben and Janessa, our families wouldn’t even matter.
If we felt like they do, you wouldn’t care what I do for a living. I wouldn’t
care what your mom thinks of me. It wouldn’t matter if every family function was
hard and uncomfortable because we’d have each other and that would be all that
matters. But that’s not how we are.”

Matt was silent. In just
moments his shock was mutating to anger. His jaw was clenched and his hands
gripped the steering wheel.

“You’ll be happier with
someone else,” I said softly.

“Are you serious?” he
asked and I nodded. “Do you realize how angry I’ve made my parents, especially
my mother? Do you realize how careful I’ve been to protect you from the wrath
of almost everyone in my life? And this is the thanks I get?”

I started to cry. “I don’t
want you to have to do that.”

“Well, I did. I was
protecting you from my mom. I’ve even had to protect you from Alan and Meg.”

Matt shook his head. I
reached my hand over and touched his arm. “I’m sorry.”

Matt pulled away from my
touch and shook his head.

“So am I,” he said.

Matt turned on the
ignition and peeled out of the parking lot. He drove much too fast and soon we
were in front of my apartment. He put the car in park but didn’t turn it off or
get out. He didn’t even look at me.

“Matt, I really am sorry.”

“Don’t be. Life just got a
lot easier for me.”

I sat there a moment,
unsure what to do. I didn’t want to leave things ugly between us but I couldn’t
offer any hope. If Matt even wanted any hope. I couldn’t tell if he was more
hurt or more angry.

“Get out Elizabeth.”

“Matt . . .”

“Goodbye, Elizabeth.”

I bit my lip and opened
the door. I’d barely closed it before Matt pulled away from the curb. He didn’t
look back.

CLOUDS AND RAIN
kept my
room dark the next morning and I didn’t awaken until nearly noon. The house was
quiet and I missed Janessa, but I felt calm and happy. When I thought about
Matt, I felt sad for the way things had ended but I felt no regret.

Thoughts of Chad danced
through my mind. I wanted to call or text him. I even considered driving to his
house, but decided I should wait. The change in my circumstances felt too new
and it seemed important that I take some time. I wanted to move forward with
purpose and deliberation, not just run to Chad in a knee-jerk sort of way.

For three days it rained
but the rain couldn’t dampen my spirits. The future held the promise of love
and happiness and I greeted it with patience and contentment.

A few days after my
breakup with Matt, I looked up from my window at the bank and there was Meg. I
hadn’t seen anyone from The Pink Salamander in the days since the wedding and
I’d been dreading the time when Matt would appear. But it wasn’t Matt who stood
at the end of the line. It was Meg and she was watching me.

Meg’s stare unsettled me a
little and although I tried not to look at her, my eyes seemed pulled there
like they were on a leash. Her gaze didn’t waver and as she moved closer to the
teller windows, her mouth curved up in a smile. Or was it a sneer? It was
difficult to tell.

When it was her turn, she
stepped up to Courtney’s window. I breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t
come to mine. I had nothing I wanted to say to her and she certainly could say
nothing I wanted to hear.

Meg finished her
transaction at the same time as the stooped grandmother in my line finished
hers. Before the little old woman had even hobbled away, Meg stepped over.

“Patience, my dear,” the
old woman said and patted Meg on the arm. Meg kept her glare fixed on me as she
brushed the lady off.

“Hi Meg,” I said.

“You’re crazy,” Meg said
and shook her head.

I wasn’t sure what to say
to that, especially not knowing what Matt had told Meg. “Is Matt okay?” I
asked.

Meg hmphed. “Matt’s great.
His life is a lot better without you,” she said. I wondered if she meant her
life was better but I didn’t say it. I noticed Delia watching us.

“Can I help you with
anything else?” I smiled and kept my voice friendly. No sense creating a scene.

Meg shook her head, her
eyes flashing sparks of hate. “I told him good riddance, but you’re crazy.
Don’t think you can come back when you come to your senses. He’s through
slumming.”

With that, Meg turned and
walked away, her high, strappy sandals clicking as she walked.

My phone rang as I walked
into the bank on Thursday morning. I paused just outside the door to answer it.

“Hello Lizzie. This is
Emma Cho.”

“Hi Emma.

“Could you come see me
today when you get off work?”

“Of course.”

“Wonderful. It won’t take
long. I just want to talk to you about something.”

It was difficult to
concentrate the rest of the day. Two weeks earlier I’d told Emma I’d like to
accept her offer. I hadn’t spoken to her since. With the busyness of the
wedding and no potential jobs in sight, there hadn’t been much to say. I hoped
she wasn’t already unhappy with our arrangement.

A couple was looking at
lamps when I walked into the showroom.

Seth, one of the designers
was working behind the counter. He smiled when he saw me. “Emma’s in her
office.”

Emma’s office door was
open, so I knocked on the doorframe.

“Lizzie, come in. Have a
seat.” I sat across the desk from her. “I have some news,” she said, her hands
clasped on the desk in front of her.

“Good news?” I asked.

“I think you’ll like it.”
I sat forward in the chair. “Alexis and her husband are moving to Los
Angeles.”  She smiled.

“Alexis?” I asked.

“One of my designers.
She’s been here for a little more than four years. Her husband just accepted a
job offer in L.A. That means I have a full-time spot for you.”

“Are you serious?”

Emma smiled. “I certainly
am. In fact, Alexis has a couple of clients she’d like to introduce you to.”