My Secret Life (35 page)

I was at the Hotel B
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in a Swiss town by a great lake, had arrived late, and was put into the third story, in a room overlooking a quadrangle. It was hot. I threw up my window when I got out of bed in the morning, and in night-gown looked into the quadrangle, and at the walls and windows of the various bed-rooms opening on to it on three sides. Looking down on my right, and one story below me, I caught sight over the window-curtain of a bed room, of a female head of long dark hair, and a naked arm brushing it up from behind vigorously. The arm looked the size of a powerful man’s, but it was that of a woman. She moved about heedlessly, and soon I saw that she was naked to below her breasts; but I only caught glimpses of that nakedness, for seconds, as she moved backwards and forwards near the window. Then she held up the hair for a minute, and seemed to be contemplating the effect of the arrangement of it, and showed what looked like a nest of hair beneath one armpit. Her flesh looked sallow or brown, and she seemed big and middle-aged. My window was near the angle of the quadrangle, so was hers, on the adjacent side of it. Perhaps from the window where I was, and that above mine only, could be seen all what I saw.

The armpit excited me, and I got lewed, though the glimpses were so few and short. Now I only saw the nape of the neck, and now her back, according to the postures which a woman takes in arranging her hair, and so far as the looking-glass and blinds and my position above let me. Once or so I saw big breasts of a tawny color. Then she looked at her teeth. Then she disappeared, then came forwards again, and I fancied she was naked to the waist. Then I lost sight of her, and again for an instant saw just the top of her naked bum, as if she were stripped, and in stooping down had bent her back towards the window. When she reappeared she was more dressed. She looked up at the sky, approaching the window to do so, caught sight of me, and quickly drew the blind right down.

I went down to breakfast, met some friends, and sitting down to table with them in the large breakfast-room, saw close to me this very lady. I had seen so little of her face that I did not recognize her at first by that; but the darkness of the eye and hair, the fullness of bust, and the brown-tinted skin left me in no doubt. We were introduced to each other. “Mrs. O
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e, a lady from New Orleans, a great friend of ours, — been travelling with us for some weeks, with her two little children,” — and so on.

I found out from my friends as we smoked our cigars in the gardens after breakfast, that she, with another American lady, and themselves, were going for a long tour, and had been touring for some weeks in Europe. She was the wife of a gentleman who owned plantations, and had gone back to America; intending to rejoin his wife at Paris at Christmas. The lady with the very hairy armpits and her husband were intimate friends of my friends.

I found this party were travelling my road, and I agreed to wait at
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as long as they did. We met at meals; I joined in their excursions, and took much notice of her children who got quite fond of me. She seemed to avoid me at first, but in two or three days showed some sympathy. I guessed that my history had been made known to her, and found out at a latter day that it had. “A married man travelling without his wife is dangerous,” said she to me one day when we were a merry party. “A married woman without her husband is a danger to me,” I replied, and our eyes met, and said more than words.

I objected to my room, and in a few days the hotel-keeper showed me some better rooms. I had then ascertained which hers were, and pointed out the room next to them. “That,” said he, “won’t do — it’s large, and has two beds.” “Oh! it’s so hot, I want a large room, — show it me.” He did. “It’s double price.” “Never mind,” — and I took it at once. Luck, thought I. Her own room was next, and adjoining it a room in which her two children slept. A half-governess, half-maid who travelled with her, was on another floor, — why I don’t know, — perhaps because the next room to the children’s was a sitting-room.

My new room had as usual a door communicating with hers. I listened one or two nights and mornings, and heard the slopping of water and rattle of pots, but with difficulty; and nothing sufficiently to stir my imagination or satisfy my curiosity. There were bolts on both sides of the doors, and double doors. I opened mine, and tried if hers was fastened. It was. But I waited my opportunity, intending to try to have her, thinking that a woman who had not had a man for months, and might not for some months more, would be ready for a game of mother and father if she could do so safely.

She was not very beautiful, but was fine, tallish, handsomely formed, with a large bust, and splendid head of hair. Her complexion had the olive tint of some Southerners. One might almost have supposed there was a taint of Negro blood in her, but her features were rather aquiline and good. The face was coldish and stern, the eyes dark and heavy, the only sensuous features of her face was a full, large-lipped mouth, which was baudy in its expression when she laughed. I guess she was a devil of a temper.

After a day or two I gave up all hope, for she would not understand double entendres, coldly returned my grasp when I shook hands with her, and gave no signs of pleasure in my company, excepting when I was playing with her children. Yet when she looked into my face when laughing; there certainly was something in her eye, which made me think that a pair of balls knocking about her bum would delight her. I used to think much of what a friend of mine, a surgeon in a crack regiment in which I had some friends, used to say, which was this.

“All animals are in rut sometimes, so is a woman, even the coldest of them. It’s of no use trying the cold ones, unless they have the tingling in their cunts on them; then they are more made for it than others, but it doesn’t last. If you catch a cold woman just when she is on heat, try her; but how to find out their time, I never knew, — they are damned cunning.” So said the surgeon.

I must have caught Mrs. O
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e on heat I suppose, and it came about soon. We went out for some hours on the lake in a boat. She was timid, and when the boat rocked I held her, squeezed her arm, and my knees went against hers. Another time my thigh was close against hers. I put one of her children on to her lap. The child sat down on my hand, which was between her little bum and her mother’s thighs. I kept my hand there, gradually moving it away, creeping it up higher and higher, and gripping the thigh as I moved it towards the belly, but so delicately, as to avoid offence, and I looked her in the face. “Minnie is heavy, isn’t she?” I said. “She is getting so,” she replied, looking with a full eye at mine.

Now I felt sure from her look, that she knew I was feeling her thigh. I had stirred her voluptuousness. The water got rougher. “I shall be sick,” said she. “What! on such a lake!” “Oh! I’m a bad sailor.” Placing my arm round her for a minute I pulled her close to me. It became calm, and lovely weather again. The water always upset her, it seemed to stir her up, she said. “I’d like to see you stirred up,” said I. Then to avoid remark I changed sides with a lady, and sat opposite to Mrs. O
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e. We faced each other, looking at each other. I pushed my feet forward, so as to rub my foot against her ankle. She did not remove her foot, but looked at me.

Arrived at
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we dined, and sat afterwards in the garden. It grew dusk, and we separated into groups. I sat by her side, and played with her children. One child said, “Play with me like Papa, — play with Mamma like Papa does.” “Shall I play with you like Papa?” said I to Mrs. O
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e. “I’d rather not,” said she. “I’d break an arm to do so,” I replied. “Would you?” said she. “Oh! put the children to bed Margaret,” — and the governess with the children and Mrs. O
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e walked off. I for a minute joined my friends smoking, then cut off by a side-path leading to that through which Mrs. O
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e would pass. She had just bid the children good night. “I shall come up to see you directly,” said she to them, — and to me, “I thought you were going into town.” “Yes I think I’ll make a night of it, — I’m wild. — I want your company.” “Fine company it will be, I dare say.” “Let me keep you company then.” No one was near, I kissed her. She took it very quietly. “Don’t now, you’ll compromise me.” It was now quite dusk. I kissed her again. “I’m dying to sleep with you,” I whispered. “You mustn’t talk like that, — there now, they will see you,” — then I left her.

I had noticed her habits, and knew that usually she went up to her children soon after they had gone to bed, so I waited at the foot of the stairs. Soon she came. “What, you here?” “Yes, I’m going to bed like you.” It was a sultry night, everybody was out of doors, the hotel servants lolling at open windows. No one met us as we went upstairs. “Why that’s not your room, — it’s next to mine.” “Yes it is, — I’ve been listening to you the last two nights.” “Oh! you sly man, — I thought you were sly.” “Look what a nice room it is,” said I opening the door. There was a dim light in the corridors, none in my room. She looked in, I gave her a gentle squeezing push, and shut the door on us.

“Don’t shut the door,” said she turning sharply round. I caught and kissed her. “Stop with me, my darling, now you’re here. — I’m dying for you, — kiss me, do.” “Let me go, — there then, — now let me go, — don’t make a noise, — oh! if my governess should hear me, what would she think!” “She is not there.” “Sometimes she stays till I go up to the children, — oh! don’t now, — you shan’t.” I had her up against the wall, my arm round her, I was pressing my hand on her belly outside her clothes. She pushed my hand away, I stooped and thrust it up her clothes on to her cunt, and pulling out my prick, pushed her hand on to it. “Let me, — let’s do it, — I’m dying for you.” “Oh! for God’s sake don’t, oh! no — now, you’ll compromise me, — hish! if she should be listening.” For a moment we talked, she quietly struggled, entreating me to desist; but my fingers were well on her cunt, frigging it. I don’t recollect more what she said, but I got her to the side of the bed, pushed her back on it, and thrust my prick up her. “Oh! don’t compromise me — don’t now.” Then she fucked quietly till she gasped out, “Oho — oho,” as a torrent of my sperm shot into her cunt.

Off and on until daybreak we fucked. After the second she gave herself up to pleasure. The randiest slut just out of a three months quodding could not have been hotter or readier for lewed fun with cunt and ballocks. I never had a more randy bed-fellow. She did not even resist the inspection of her cunt, which surprised me a little, considering its condition. Our light burnt out, our games heated us more and more, the room got oppressive, I slipped off her chemise, our naked bodies entwined in all attitudes, and we fucked, and fucked, bathed in sweat, till the sweat and sperm wetted all over the sheet, and we slept. It was broad daylight when we awakened. I was lying sweating with her bum up against my belly, her hair was loose all over her, and the bed. Then we separated and she fled to her room, carrying her chemise with her.

Oh! Lord that sheet! — if ten people had fucked on it, it could not have been more soiled. We consulted how best to hide it from the chamber-maid, and I did exactly the same trick as of former days. Have not all men done it I wonder?

I got a sitz-bath in my room, which was then not a very easy thing to get. I washed in it, wetted all my towels, then took off the sheet, wetted it nearly all over, soiled it, then roughly put it together in a heap, and told the chamber-woman I had used the sheet to dry myself with. She said, “Very well.” I don’t expect she troubled herself to undo or inspect the wet linen, or thought about the matter.

I went to breakfast at the usual time. “Where is Mrs. O*b***e?” I asked. The governess appeared with the children saying the lady had not slept owing to the heat. She showed up at the table d’hôte dinner. I avoided her, knowing I should see her soon afterwards, and said I should go and play billiards; but instead, went to my bed-room and read; nursing my concupiscent tool, and imagining coming pleasures.

I heard the children, having opened the door on my side and found that the key of her door was luckily so turned as to leave the key-hole clear. The doors connecting all the rooms were as is often the case in foreign hotels, opposite each other, and I could see across into the children’s bedroom. They were putting their night-gowns on in their own room. Then the governess came into her mistress’ room and I heard her pissing, but could not see her. To my great amusement, for the slightest acts of a woman in her privacy give me pleasure, she then came forward within range of my peep-hole, and was looking into the pot carefully. Then Mrs. O*b***e came in and the governess left. Mrs. O*b***e went to look at her children and returned, opened our doors, and then we passed another amorous night, taking care to put towels under her bum when grinding. We did not want the sheets to be a witness against us again.

Mrs. O*b***e was not up to the mark, and began to talk that sort of bosh that women do, who are funky of consequences. After a time she warmed, and yielded well to my lubricity. I would see her cunt to begin with. It was a pretty cunt, and not what I had expected, large, fat-lipped, and set in a thicket of black hair, from her bum-hole to her navel; but quite a small slit, with a moderate quantity of hair on her motte, but very thick and crisp. I told her again how I had seen her from the window. The recital seemed to render her randier than either feeling my prick, or my titillation of her quim. The hair in her armpits was thicker, I think, than in any woman I ever had. Her head-hair was superb in its quantity. I made her undo it, and spread it over the bed, and throw up her arms, and show her armpits when I fucked her. She was juicy-cunted, and spent copiously; so did I. The heat was fearful. We fucked start naked, again.

Later on she told me that she cared about poking but once a month only, and about a week before her courses came on. At other times it annoyed her. Going on the water always upset her stomach, and made her lewed, even if in a boat on a river, and however smooth it was, it upset her that way. At sea it was the same. It made her firstly feel sick, then giddy, then sleepy, but that always two or three hours afterwards, randiness overtook her. After a day or two, the lewedness subsided whether she copulated, or frigged, or not. She told me this as a sort of excuse for having permitted me to spermatize her privates, the night of her excursion on the water with us.