My Side (23 page)

I stood up and leaned
into his face, “You don’t think that having the infamous Lochlan Barlow’s
girlfriend working here, will bring in the business? It’ll guarantee he’s here
more, that’s good for business. Not to mention, I used to help out at my
parents’ country club at Christmas time for extra money, so I actually know how
to serve. I’d be useful, unlike half of your staff, and I would bring Thin Ice in
on their own time.”

He sighed, “You’re
going to get me in fucking trouble.”

I shrugged, “Think of
the ride you could have, for the time I work here. I’ll do Friday and Saturday
nights, and you won’t lay a hand on me or Lise.”

He looked confused,
“Lise?”

My gaze narrowed,
“Brown hair, beautiful, law student.”

He nodded slowly,
“Right, her.”

I stuck a finger in
his face, “You touch her and I use my claim to fame as Loch’s girl, for bad
things. Slanderous things.”

He chuckled, “Man, I
had you pegged differently. Guess the whole law school thing should have clued
me in.” He nodded and stuck a hand out, “Deal.” I shook his hand. “Start
tonight then?”

I grinned, “Of
course.”

He pointed at my black
eye, “That might be a problem.”

I shook my head, “I’ll
get the other girls to patch me up,
it’ll
be dark in
here soon anyway.”

I walked out of the
office and down the stairs.

Lise screamed when she
saw me, “Ahhhh, you came.”

I hugged her and
smiled, “I did. I start tonight.”

“What happened to your
eye and your lip?” She looked horrified.

I sighed, “Ran into an
ex-stalker in North Dakota. He attacked me. It’s in the papers.”

She laughed, “I’m
sorry. Oh my God, that’s awful. I just remembered I saw that fat picture of you
and you were all fat. The media hates you.”

I rolled my eyes,
“Laugh it up.”

She gushed, “Well, you
working here should be fun for them to take pics.”

I never thought about
that. Was that what Loch was talking about, keeping me out of the public eye?

She pulled her makeup
out and fixed my eyes, “Thin Ice plays tonight; you ready for some serious cash
and the sorest feet ever?”

I laughed, “I am.”

My phone rang. I
pulled it out and sighed, “I’ll just go get ready.”

She nodded.

I answered, “Hey.”

He sounded panicked,
“Don’t leave. I should have told you and I’m sorry. I’ll be sorry for the rest
of my life. I had no idea you needed me. I couldn’t hear the phone.”

I frowned, “What are
you talking about?”

“You moved all my shit
back in my room and I saw your laptop. Just please don’t leave. I know I keep
fucking up.”

I laughed, “I’m not
leaving.”

He was silent for a
second, “You’re not?”

I laughed, “No. I just
need to buckle down and I don’t need you to distract me constantly.”

“Erin, I know you’re
mad about the pictures.”

I laughed again,
“Yeah, not cool. Sucks to be me, I guess. Another cost of dating you.” That was
off side and bitter.

“Where are you?”

“Work. I’ll see you
guys when you get here.”

He shouted instantly,
“I told you no. Brian is a seedy fuck.”

I looked at my black
eye in the bathroom mirror, “I know. I got that from him.”

“Did he touch you?”

I sighed, “No. He’s
scared of me. I threatened him with a lawsuit if he touched me. I also told him
that I was comfortable misusing my obvious stardom, from dating you. I told him
I would slander his bar in every corner of the world. He’s being a good scum
bag for now.”

“I’ll be there in five
to get you. Just wait outside.”

I noticed the fierce
look in my eyes and wished he
was
there to see it,
“Nope. You even try to get me fired, or make me quit, and we are done. I like
my hair straight and smooth. I like to pick my meal. I like to serve myself and
I like my own drink, not a shared one.”

“Is this about the
money? I can buy you anything you want or need. I have money, princess. I
always have.”

I sighed, “I also hate
the way you choose not to hear the things I say, that you don’t like. This is
our first real couple’s fight, Loch. I want to be the girl I was, not the girl
you’re making me. I want to be with you on my terms, not yours. It’s all about
you. I’m living through you—your career, your friends, your success,
your
name. My fucking name doesn’t even Google anymore. I
Googled me, and it comes up as Lochlan’s girl, Erin Benson. Apparently, I’m
ugly, pregnant, and manipulating you. People think I’m an evil whore who can
suck-start a truck. I’m not me anymore. I’m yours and that’s not cool for me.
I’m stronger than that. At least, I used to be.”

He sounded pissed,
“We’ll talk about this, after we leave the bar together.” He hung up on me. I
worried for a while, he would come and drag me out. He didn’t. He showed for
his stage setup, ignoring me.

I served drinks,
dodged groping hands, and smiled until I was blue in the face. Lise was the
most fun person to work with ever. She danced and drank shots, and made me have
some. She stuffed money down my underwear, making customers think it was okay.
I thought the money flowed amazingly, until the show started, then it got busy.
I saw the blank stares in their eyes, the seduction of each person, the
pleasure senses being driven wild. I saw it all. He lit the fire on the stage
with his voice, making love to each of us. I caught myself staring with them. I
had to fight the urge to get caught up in him. It was his best show yet. His
passion was explosive. I shuddered, imagining him between my thighs with that
kind of power, and made the noise he always made me make.

He finished the set
and shouted into the crowd, “Good night and thank you for coming.” He didn’t
say the North Dakota thing. Fear crept around inside of me. He didn’t want me
strong. He wanted me malleable. He was done with me, if I was taking a stand
against him and being my own person. He wanted a weak girl to be his.

My heart
snapped
as fears became facts, without any evidence really.

I was serving drinks
to a group of young college boys, when I felt a sweaty face pressed into my
nape. My eyes widened but then I smiled. He kissed me and pointed at the bar,
“I’ll be over there.” He grinned, “Why don’t you get me a beer.”

I laughed and nodded.

The guys at the table
were either in awe or suddenly interested in me. I left them and grabbed him a
beer. He smiled at me, “I’m sorry for the media shit, and the old-roommate
Facebook pictures, and the fact I wasn’t there when you needed me. I won’t ever
actually forgive myself for that. Danny told me that chick was kind of a snotty
bitch, and that she’d tagged him and you in the pictures. I panicked when he
got the notifications, and then I got home, and you were
gone
,and
my stuff was moved.”

I shook my head, “I’m
sorry I blamed you for the fact, I was becoming your groupie and not your
girlfriend. It’s my fault, not yours.”

He took my finger and
slid the ring back on. I laughed, “I didn’t want to lose it.”

He shook his head,
“You’re making me lose it, I swear.” He pulled me in, kissing my cheek, “I
never saw you as a groupie. I see your strength and your beauty. I always just
see you.” I looked in his eyes and saw it too. I was still in there, even with
the shiny hair.

What happens in New
York…

He was pacing the
living room, with whoever he was on the phone with. I was trying to study but
he kept lifting his arms in the air, showing off the new tattoo he’d gotten on
his lower abdomen. It dipped into his pants and made me want to touch it.

I sighed, walked into
my room, closed the door and continued reading.

He came in a few
minutes later, “Can we do my parent’s at Thanksgiving and do your parent’s here
for Christmas?”

I frowned, “What?”

He was leaving in two
days for New York and the tickets were booked. He looked worried. I got off the
bed, pulling his face down to mine and kissed him hard. “Yeah, of course. I’ll
take care of switching the flights and shit.”

He sighed, “Okay,
here.” He handed me his credit card.

I kissed him, “Stop
stressing, baby. You got this. New York is going to be amazing.”

He
looked stormy
, “
I want you there
.”

I shook my head, “No.”

He didn’t return my
kiss when I pressed my lips into his. I stroked his cheek, “Easy, beast, you
can’t push me around anymore.”

He struggled to look
angry, but his lips curled into his sexy grin, “You sure about that?”

I bit my lip and
nodded, “Yup.” He shoved me lightly. I fell back onto the bed. He stood over me
and pulled his shirt off, “I think I just did though.”

I laughed as he
dropped to his knees. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tried to sit up.
He shoved me back down and lifted my shirt. He placed soft kisses on my belly
button, as he undid my jeans. The door opened, “Hey, Er…” Danny stopped
mid-sentence, “Oh fuck. I’ll never un-see that.” He turned and walked out.

I laughed. Lochlan
shook his head and kicked the door shut, “Knock, Danny.”

Danny shouted from the
hallway, “No, I’m good out here. Just wanted to mention, we gotta go.”

Lochlan made a face. I
sat up but he pushed me back down, “I need five minutes.”

Danny groaned, “Gross
dude, that’s my sister.”

Lochlan grinned and
ripped my pants off. He sucked his middle finger and slid it inside of me. I
sat up on my elbows, the way he liked, and gasped, watching his finger move in
and out of me. He flipped my shirt and bra up, releasing my breasts. He ran his
hands over my body and rolled one of my nipples lightly. It made me tighten
everywhere with the sensation. The base of his finger glistened. I was panting
when he pulled it out, but I never expected him to flip me over. He licked up
my back, kissing and biting lightly while grinding his erection in my ass
cheeks. He stood behind me, lifting me up and arching my hips back. He inserted
himself slowly. I’d never had him this way. He spread my legs more and pulled
my ass back. Luckily, my face was in the covers when the weird sound he always
made me make, left my lips like tiny mewls. He bucked hard, making a loud moan
replace the soft noises. He stopped and reached for his phone. He fiddled with
it for a second, and then Sail by AWOLNATION started to play loudly, to cover
our noises. He moved slowly with the song at first, sliding in and out of me,
massaging my ass cheeks. He reached his hand around, stroking my clit, but
still thrusting leisurely. I buried my face into my bed but he jerked me back
up.

The song ended and
started again. He stopped rubbing my clit and increased his pace. He pumped
hard, his balls replaced his finger, slapping against my clit. His body spanked
against mine, the vibration brought my climax fast.

I struggled for breath
as I came, standing and bent over. I gripped his cock, forcing his orgasm. He
fucked hard as he filled me up. I couldn’t stand any longer. I fell forward,
bringing him with me. He lay beside me and kissed my nose, “I’ll see you in
three days.”

I smiled, “I’ll miss
you.”

He laughed, “Just stay
off the Internet and trust me, okay?”

I nodded. He kissed me
and climbed off the bed. I lay there, waiting for him to leave, so I could let
pathetic, whiny Erin have her minute.

I didn’t go on the
Internet but I did watch the live show. He was sexier on TV. It was
frightening. It was his place. He deserved it, needed it, and earned every
glorious second of it. Seeing him there, he wasn’t mine. He was a sexy guy who
was rocking a stage and making everyone dance and shout, and wave their hands
in the air.

I saw it then, there
were really two Lochlans. The one on the stage was there for everyone. He was
fun, crazy, and inspiring to watch. It was amazing to see someone take their dream
and make it fly, with such skill and charm. He made you want to find your
dream, be a success, live for the moment, and he made it look easy. His swagger
and grace were beyond controllable.

They were singing
their
bar song; it was the one that got the drinks flowing
and the crowd feeling brotherly. It made me feel that way.
Very
indie and free.
It was the song that had the most Tennessee in it. It
was a Lochlan original.

He kicked his foot to
the drum and held the microphone out for the crowd to sing. The entire show
burst into song. They knew ever word. The smile on his face could have fed me
the rest of my life. Gerry and Mike were beaming. Even Lenny, the homebody was
grinning from ear to ear over the keyboard. They had borrowed a guitar player
from another local band. They tried to poach him but he had stayed loyal to his
band. Bostonians were the most loyal people.