My Sunshine (26 page)

“That’s nuts,”
John said, taking it from her and looking closely at it before handing it back. “You’re so much more important than me. I should be carrying your picture around.”

Kelsey blushed. “I’m just doing my job.”

John shrugged slightly. “Me too.”

Dr.
Stan approached the desk. “Kelsey, get Chloe

something to eat.
John, you can go back in.”

John
reentered the room. The first thing he noticed was that Chloe was sitting up in the bed with her hands folded in her lap. The restraints dangled on the sides of the bed.

“I see they let you loose,” he joked. “I’m sorry I couldn’t.”

She nodded her understanding. “Come over here to the bed.

I still want to touch you.”
John came over and sat on the edge of her bed. She reached out and stroked his face. “I’m so sorry I put you through this.

“I was so scared,” he said, catching her hand in his. “I
thought you were going to die.”

Chloe
sighed. “Not that lucky this time. I never catch any breaks.” She wasn't joking.

John
shook his head. “Why do you say that?”

“I just want to be well.”

“But you can get better, Chloe, and…”

She cut him off. “I’ll never be better,
John. I might seem better, I might act normally, but I’ll always be sick. Besides, what would I be losing by dying? I’d be gaining.”

“But what about all of us? We’d lose. Me and
Daniel…”

Again, she cut him off. “
Daniel has been carrying the burden of me long enough. And you? I’m sure you’d move on.”

John
put a hand on each side of her face so she couldn’t look away from him while he spoke. “I love you, Chloe. I love you and I want you here with me. I can give you things that you never had and I want to give them to you.”

“I know you’ve got more money than God,” she said

sarcastically.

“I’m not talking about stuff, dammit! I can give you a
lifetime of unconditional love, and stability, and loyalty, and friendship, and respect. I want to, Chloe.”

“Do you want to marry me?” She asked after a moment of
silence, neither of them moving.

John
answered without hesitation. “Absolutely. I want to marry you.” He planted a long kiss on her lips and finally removed his hands from her cheeks.

She looked down at her own hands. “You don’t know,
John. You don’t know what this disease is like.”

He shook his head and went back across the room and
picked up the book he had been reading, Understanding Schizophrenia. “I’ve read this book three times.”

“You can’t know by reading a book. You can’t know.”

He took a deep breath. “Maybe not, but I do know this, for the past four years I have slept with dozens, maybe hundreds, of women. I have never been in a serious relationship, and I didn’t want to be. I just wanted to have fun. I couldn’t imagine settling down. Then, I met you and you’re all I can think about, Chloe, and being with you is all I can think about. I love you, I want to marry you, and this disease isn’t going to change that.”

                             Chapter Twelve

Chloe spent one week bound to her room while the doctors stabilized her medications. While sedated, John had spent almost every waking moment by her bedside, but now that she was alert, the visiting hours were strictly enforced, allowing him to visit only two hours every evening.

The week after that, when she was moved to the
“rehabilitation” stage of her recovery, Parrison began rehearsing for the tour. There was all new choreography to learn, and the guys were working 60 hours a week with the choreographer. Still, John managed to sneak away to see her as often as possible.

“I thought you maybe you were having a miscarriage or
something,” John said. They were sitting on the patio outside the hospital cafeteria, enjoying an unusually warm late-January day Chloe smiled. “Nope. My birth control pill is one I took everyday, but I guess when I felt the cramps and saw the blood and the mouse…” Her voice trailed off, and she just sat there shaking her head, thinking about what had happened to her.

John
put his hand on top of hers. “You’re going to be okay, you know that right?”

She nodded. “That’s what you keep telling me.”

“You’re going to be better.”

Chloe
picked at her hamburger for a few seconds. “Are we really going to get married?”

“That’s my, plan, yeah. You didn’t believe me when I
proposed?”

“I believed you.” She paused again. “I can’t have
children.”

“Because of the schizophrenia?”

“Yeah. I take the chance of passing this on.”

John
shook his head. “First of all, whether or not you can have a baby is not an issue. I’d still want to marry you.

Secondly, you can. The chance isn’t that big. According to my
book, there is only like an 8% chance that your child would have it. That’s a 92% chance the baby won’t. I’d have to go with the odds.”

“But I don’t have very good luck.”

John straightened his shoulders. “Well, I do. And besides, let’s just cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?”

She nodded, happy to submit to his authority. “Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again.

“Are we going to announce our engagement? Have you told
anyone?”

John
shook his head. “I haven’t told anyone. I don’t want to announce it right away.” He hoped she didn’t ask why. He hadn’t even known he was going to propose until he heard the words come out of his mouth. Now, he wanted to get her a ring before telling the world. “When are you getting out of this place?”

“Dr.
Stan said that unless something drastic happens, I can go home Friday. Of course, I have to come back once a week for an evaluation and I have to have a blood draw every other day for the next month.”

“Good grief. Why?”

Chloe shrugged. “I don’t know, but I suspect it because they want to make sure I’m taking my meds. If they’re taking my blood every 48 hours, then I have to take it.”

“What if you don’t?”

“If I don’t, then I get to come back here and stay until I comply.”

“How long is this going to go on? Are you going to be able
to go on tour?”

She nodded. “I’m going on that tour. I know Dr.
Stan has been talking to Dr. Paul and Jane, so I’m thinking that she’s going to keep tabs on me out there.”

“She’s a good one,”
John said, nodding. “And she don’t care if you get mad at her.”

Chloe
popped a French fry in her mouth. “It’s not going to be an issue. I’m going to take my medication. This isn’t going to happen again.”

John
smiled broadly. “That’s right, baby girl.”

There was a slight knock on the door. Chloe straightened her pajamas. “Come in,” she called. The door opened farther and Dennis walked in carrying flowers.

“
Dennis.” She was shocked to see him.

He smiled sheepishly. He walked over to her bed and set
the flowers on the bedside table. “Hey Chloe. These are for you.”

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

He sat down in the chair beside her bed. “You look good.

Is there anything you need?”

“I am dying for a cigarette.”

Dennis
patted his pockets. “Sorry, fresh out. They won’t let you smoke here?”

“Well, they probably would, but I’ve decided to try and
quit.” She pulled the shoulder of her pajama top down so that he could see the nicotine patch on her upper arm.

“Do those work?”

“I guess so. I can certainly tell when it’s time to change it. I never realized how much of a habit it was. I mean, like doing stuff with your hands. I suppose if not smoking drives me crazy, I’m in the right place.”

Dennis
chuckled. “I like your sense of humor.”

“Well, you have to have a good sense of humor when
you’re dealing with this stuff.”

“I thought you were going to say you had to have a good
sense of humor when you were dealing with John.”

Chloe
laughed. “Well, that too. So, where’s Shannon?”

It didn't surprise her that
Dennis came without his new wife.

Ever since Shannon had seemingly tried to sabotage
Chloe’s relationship with John, the relationship between the two women had been strained. Chloe got the distinct impression that

Shannon simply didn’t like her.

“Oh, Shannon had a project to work on. She’s been working more than us here lately.”

“Is she going on tour?”
Chloe knew that Jane and Dana both were taking a leave of absence from their jobs in order to tour with the band. She had resigned from her job at the hospital, so she was free to travel, too. And she knew Christine would be there as much as her own touring schedule would allow.

Dennis
frowned. “I don’t think so. I think she’s going to try to come to as many shows as she can, but she’s not going to be leaving her job to do it like Dana and Jane.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m just going to share a bus with Tyler. We’ll cry and moan together about how lonely we are.”

“Aww.”

He smiled. “Oh, it will be okay. What’s three months when you’re talking about a lifetime together?”

“I guess you’re right. I, personally, can’t wait.
Jane told me about the last tour and it sounds so fun.”

“You think you’ll be able to handle all the girls throwing
themselves at John? Because it happens, you know.”

She nodded. “I think I’ll be okay. As long as
John keeps himself in line, then everything should be fine.”

“Do you think that will be a problem?”

“I don’t. I trust John fully.”

“You should. He loves you,
Chloe. I am amazed every time I see him. I can see the difference in him.”

“I wish I could take the credit for that.”

He leaned forward. “You should take some credit for it.”

“I think
John and I have both come a long way.”

Dennis
nodded solemnly. “I think we could all say that about ourselves.”

“
Dennis, is something wrong?”

He took a deep breath, and
Chloe thought he was going to start unloading his problems. He shook his head. “No, nothing.”

He looked at his watch. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see
you later.” He leaned over the bed and kissed her on the cheek.

“Bye.”

“Bye, Dennis.” Chloe touched her face where he had kissed her. Other than Christine, it was the first time Chloe had been kissed by someone in her new circle of friends. The peck on the cheek or even a quick friendly kiss on the lips was a gesture she had seen frequently between them when they were parting ways. Dennis’s kiss was proof that even if Shannon didn’t accept her, he did.

She turned on the radio
John had brought her earlier that week. The song he had sung with Monica Williams was #1 on the pop charts, and one of the local stations had asked John to give an interview. Chloe cranked up the volume when she heard it begin.

It was a basic interview: Thanks for coming,
John. How are you doing? (Great. It’s great to be here. Thanks for having me.)

What is the group up to? (Getting ready for the tour.) When
does the tour start? (March 8th.) When does the album drop?

(
Rachael 1st, ha ha) What is the next single going to be? (Save Me.)

What was it like working with Samantha? (Fun.) Did she
handpick you for this single?

Chloe
frowned at the last question, but she listened closely to John’s answer.

“Yeah,”
John replied. “We’re friends, you know…we have the same manager, and she called and asked me if I would do this with her. Everything she touches turns to gold, it seems, so

I jumped at it.”

“You two are just friends then,” the DJ said. His voice suggested that maybe they weren’t.

“Yes,”
John said, “just friends.”

“So are you seeing someone?” the DJ asked. “You have a
girlfriend?”

“I do. I’m been seeing someone for several months now.”

“It’s serious?”

“Very.”

“So you’re off the market?”

John
chuckled slightly. “Most definately.”

“What’s her name? Is she in the business?”

“No, she’s not in the business at all. Her name’s Chloe.”

“Okay, girls,” the DJ said to the listeners. “You heard it
here. John Bernett is off the market. So that’s like all five of you now, right?”

“Yeah,”
John said. “We're all off the market. Sorry, ladies.”

The DJ laughed. “Thanks,
John, for stopping by.”

“No problem.”

“I’ve got something to tell you,”
Chloe said quietly. She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. John had come by during his lunch break and was eating a burger and fries out of a fast-food bag.

John
put one of his hands on top of hers. “It’s okay, baby,”

he said. “Tell me.”

“I stole ten thousand dollars from you.” She wouldn’t look him in the eye.

He didn’t say anything at first. “I know.”

She lifted her eyes and met his. “How? How long have you known?”

“I knew the day you wired the money. Patricia keeps track
of my credit cards online…just in case one gets stolen or something. Anyway, she was worried that it had been stolen.

She didn’t know it was your account the money went into,
though.”