My Teenage Dream Ended (13 page)

Derek kept calling me and wanted to come get me, but I told him I would feel bad if I didn’t at least make it to the dance. We arrived at the same convention center where prom had been hosted the year before. There were no nervous feelings in my belly like last year, though. I didn’t even want to take photos with Prom Date and I just sat for most of the night. I looked at everyone in our group as a blur. I wished I was with Derek. I wanted to get away from this supposed guy friend who I felt had turned out to want more.

Prom was ending and we all got ready to drive out to the party at our friend’s house. I asked for the address and texted it to Derek so he could meet me there and save me from this prom nightmare. When we finally got to the party, I had had enough of Prom Date projecting innocence, when what he deserved was a slap in the face. As I changed in the bathroom, I heard him out in the living room talking angrily about me.

As far as I was concerned there was no real reason for him to complain. So I walked out and said, “You’re a scumbag. After the way you’ve treated me, I’m leaving. I’m not staying to hang out and I’m not having sex with you!” Prom Date was silent. His friends looked embarrassed for him.

I got my stuff and waited in the front yard for Derek. Five minutes later, he drove up. I rushed to his car. We were so happy to see each other. I told him all about Prom Date and my prom group and that was the end of that nightmare.

We drove downtown to this club I had never heard of. I got the feeling this was more of a gay club; some people were on drugs, most were drunk, only a handful were sober like me. We got through the bouncers and it was crowded inside. I could hear the thumping of deep base techno, my favorite kind of music to dance to. We went past the bar into the main dancing room. There were mirrors everywhere, on every wall, even on the ceiling. There were stripper poles on the stage, for anyone to dance on. It was a room full of movement.

Derek took me and put me against the wall of mirrors and started dirty dancing with me. It was so flattering, how he started building the passion between us. I switched positions with him and wasflirting with him and turning him on. We were so wrapped up in each other, both of us felt like we were the only ones in the room. As we danced, we stared at our reflections in the mirrored ceiling and walls, lusting over each other’s bodies.

Derek was into me like he had never been before. We kept dancing and dancing. It felt like we were all that mattered. We knew we were hot. It was a moment that I never wanted to end.

Sadly, the moment did end, with the DJ shouting something loudly through the club. Suddenly we were aware of fifty pairs of eyes staring at us. No one in the room was dancing but us. We just laughed and kissed each other, and he said, “Let’s go over there and see what all this noise is about.” We realized that they were starting a dance-off competition, but I would rather have just gone on watching our reflections. Two
AM
hit and I was sweaty, tired, and completely happy. We left the club and Derek took me home. We parted, saying, “love you” and “’night” to each other.

From then on, Derek would meet me every day after PE. He showed Prom Date that he had never had a chance with me. It was funny, Prom Date would practically cuss out loud when he saw us. It seemed like he hated seeing Derek and I together.

Now everyone knew to leave Derek and me alone because we were going to be together no matter what. It was the last few weeks of my junior year and Derek’s senior year. I had all my class work done, but Derek was freaking out that he wasn’t going to pass math. We both stayed after school to make sure he got all his work done. With my help, he got his grades up and passed all of his classes. I was so happy that he was going to graduate.

GRADUATION GAS-AND-GO

At the beginning of May, Derek graduated. I went to watch the ceremony with one of my friends whose boyfriend was also graduating. I was so proud of Derek for pulling it together and making it to graduation. I couldn’t wait to see him looking all handsome in his cap and gown, but as I scanned the faces of the three hundred graduating seniors, I didn’t see his. It was so crowded in the auditorium, I was starting to get anxious that I wouldn’t be able to find him when it was over.

We listened to all the speeches and at the end of the ceremony I finally spotted Derek as he and his class threw up their caps to celebrate. I was so thrilled I jumped up and ran through all the people to reach him, but then I lost him again in the crowd.

I finally found him outside of the entrance doors, looking for me. He’d been digging through the crowds to find me, too.
After we hugged, we went to find his dad. This was the first time I was going to meet his father and I was really looking forward to it. I’d heard so much about him and I already felt like we were going to get along.

I was also curious about his father because I figured he would be a living example of what Derek might look like when he was older. I was nervous and wanted him to like me. I felt like Derek’s mom and I never hit it off, so this was my opportunity to make a good impression on someone in his family.

Derek and I held hands as we skimmed through the crowds of celebrating graduates and their families to find his dad. When we finally found him, they hugged and I introduced myself. His dad, Jerry, certainly wasn’t the spitting image of Derek, but I saw big similarities between them. He was tall like Derek, with the same eyes, and they had similar personalities. It was great to finally meet him.

Jerry wanted to take us to lunch, so we went with some of Derek’s closest friends to a restaurant nearby. I sat by his dad because I really wanted to get to know him and show him how much I cared about Derek.

While the guys were eating and talking, Jerry invited me to visit him in Missouri with Derek. The invitation made me feel so welcomed and I started to relax and feel confident that he liked me. I imagined how much fun Derek and I could have going down there together.

At lunch, Derek was so relaxed and happy. I could tell it meant a lot to him that his dad had come to his graduation and had taken me and his friends out. I hadn’t see his mom (or his sisters) at the ceremony, but she was having a family gathering at her house for Derek later that afternoon.

So after the lunch with Jerry, we went to his mom’s house. It
was a very small gathering—only a couple of Derek’s friends came. After a while I sensed something was wrong. We were all outside in the yard and I realized that Derek had disappeared.

I looked over at his mom, who was behaving like everything was fine. But I had a bad feeling, so I decided to go inside to look for Derek. I thought she might stop me from going inside, but she didn’t.

I went downstairs to Derek’s room and found him lying on his bed in the dark, his face to the wall, crying.

“Why are you crying? What’s going on?” I asked.

“My mom promised to give me money for graduation and now she’s not going to,” he paused and then continued, “Because the police came to the house before we got here. I have to go to jail. My mom is having them come back tonight after the party.”

“Why would the cops come for you, Derek?”

He looked sheepish. “I did a gas-and-go.”

“What?”

I couldn’t believe it. Not only was what he had done wrong and

illegal, it was stupid. He should have known that if you fill your car up with gas and drive off without paying, eventually the cops are going to catch up with you. A security camera at the gas station must have caught his license plate number and the police were able to track him down at his mom’s house. I was shocked and disappointed. I was also angry that I had to find out this way.

When Derek heard his mom come inside, he went upstairs to talk to her. I followed him up and watched as he tried to confront her about the money she had promised him. With me by his side, he felt more confident about approaching her.

His mom just ignored him. I completely disagreed with how she was handling things, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. I just stood there staring as she walked away.

I was completely frustrated by the situation. On the one hand, I felt sad for Derek that his mom wasn’t giving him the money she had promised him. But on the other, I was angry with him for breaking the law. I told Derek that what he’d done was stupid, but I also felt like if he had been strong enough to make the right choices on his own, he wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.

Derek and I decided he should take me home and then go back home and deal with what he had done. He dropped me off (which I made him do around the block so my parents wouldn’t see his car) and he was driving home, I called his cell. We talked until he got back to his mom’s. I tried to help him think of ways to keep from having to go to jail. I suggested he go to the gas station and offer to pay the money. Maybe they would drop the charges.

I could tell Derek was listening, but he was very quiet the whole time. Then he said he was home and had to get off the phone because he had to go talk to his mom. I thought for sure I wouldn’t hear back from him for the rest of the day and it was scary to be in the dark about what was going to happen to him.

I sat in my room, looking out the window and worrying about Derek. It was a beautiful sunny day and I could see my parents outside gardening.
They still had no idea I had been seeing Derek again and this certainly wasn’t the moment to tell them about it. A little while later my phone rang and it was Derek. I was surprised he was calling back so soon, but he kept it short.

“Hey babe. So my mom called the police to come get me from the house. They’re going to be here soon.”

“I hope you can just tell them you’re going to pay them, and then you can get out of going to jail.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“ I don’t know…”

He was quiet again and I wondered what was going through his mind. I pictured him in his room. I could see it perfectly in my head; all the things written on his wall, my number, my friends’ numbers, our prom photo, and other snapshots and mementos he’d put up on his wall. Lately, it seemed more obsessive—he had more photos of us in his room, more numbers on his wall.

It seemed like he was spending a lot of time in his room lately, and I didn’t know what he was up to—and now this gas-and-go. In some ways Derek felt like a stranger to me these days. This wasn’t the Derek I had fallen in love with.

“Babe, the police are here. I have to go. I’ll call you when I get out.”

I said, “Okay, I love you,” and we hung up.

The next morning he called me as though nothing much had happened. He just said he’d had to pay a fine and changed the subject, asking me what I had done the night before. I knew he was still upset about everything, so I decided to let it drop. I was just happy he was out of trouble.

LIAR, LIAR

Though Derek and the rest of the seniors were graduated and gone, I was still stuck in school ‘til the end of May. I would usually ask Derek to come pick me up after classes let out. At first, he was good about being on time. I was starting to feel like, after his brush with jail, that maybe he was maturing and letting go of the bad habits he had fallen into during our break-up, but it wasn’t long before I realized I was mistaken.

One afternoon, two weeks after graduation, I called Derek as soon as school got out, and when he answered he said, “I’m going to be late. I’ll call you in ten.” I hung up and waited for him. All my friends saw me waiting but I acted like everything was fine. I could tell by the looks on their faces what my guy friends were thinking:
She’s letting Derek walk all over her again.
It was like they felt sorry for me, but didn’t want to say anything to crush me more than I already was.