Nan's Journey (13 page)

“I put a little soup in an old canteen. Let
’
s heat it up and see if Elmer can sip a little. He needs to keep up his strength
. I will get the fire going. Y
ou hold his head and comfort him. He needs his sister.”

Nan cried uncontrollably when she looked at the pale face lying in her lap. He looked so weak and white. “Honey, please hold on. We are going to see a doctor that can help you get well. You can’t give up!”

Elmer’s eyes opened slightly and she saw the fear in them. “I don’t know if I can hold on,
S
issy. I am so tired. Don’t be
a ‘scared
;
Fred will take care of you if I die. He promised that he would help me take good care of you.”

“You are doing a good job, sweet brother, but I need you to try to hold on. You are all I have left of Ma and Papa and our wonderful life together! Go to sleep for a few minutes and then you will have to drink some of this soup that Fred is putting on the fire.”

Elmer closed his tired little eyes and struggled into a fitful sleep. Nan squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth, “Don’t you dare take him from me, God! Haven’t I suffered enough? Hasn’t he suffered enough? Are You even there? How can I believe in Someone Who has never been there for me? You let this happen to him! You let those men use me! Where were you?”

Fred heard her whispering hoarsely. She was almost growling. He had never seen her face so animated in anger. He ran to her side fearing the worst. No, Elmer was sleeping fitfully. He was at least alive. “What is it, Nan?”

“I can’t talk to you about it.”

“What is it?”

“No, I don’t want preached at right now!”

“Why would I preach at you?”

“No! I ain’t telling you nothin’!”

“What are you so mad about?”

“All right!
…
God. I am mad about or at God!
…
I
f there really is a God.”

“How can you say that, Nan?”

“He has allowed nothin’ but trouble in my life
,
and poor little Elmer too! I would hate to think that I would have to ‘worship’ Someone so cruel and mean.”

“God is Sovereign, Nan. That means that He is in control and…”

“That’s just it!” Nan growled. “If He is in control, why does He want to hurt us so much? I cannot stand it if Elmer dies! I really cannot go on living without him!”

“Let me pray for him again.”

“No! God knows he needs help. If He wants to help, He will do it, but I don’t think He gives a lick what happens to any of us.”

“Nan!”

“Isn’t that soup burning now?”

Fred went to the fire and the soup was boiling over. He put a small amount into a tin cup and brought it over to the sleeping boy. “Elmer, son, wake up and drink a little of this good ole soup. I made it just for you.”

Elmer put his lips to the cup, but it was just too hot to drink. Fred got up from his crouched position and paced the camp with the little cup in his hand. He was struggling in his spirit also. “Lord, why is this happening? I want them to trust You and You keep letting things like this happen. I understand why Nan is questioning me about You. I have asked the same questions over and o
ver in my own mind about Claire
, Joy
…and Elmer…
also Nan.

Why do you give me people to care for if You are going to cause them to suffer and die all the time?” He felt the all too familiar silent
scream in his heart. Nan
thought he would preach to her about her questions. He had a plenty of his own.

He had no idea what to say to her, except the little sentence that his Ma and Pa repeated over and over to him.
God is Sovereign and He is in control
. That gave him little comfort then and even now. Somehow though, it reached him those years ago when Claire and Joy died, that God really was in control of everything.

The soup was getting cooler so he took his spot next to Elmer and offered it to the sick little one. He sipped ever so slowly,
and then
swallowed. His blonde hair
was pasted on his head with
perspiration.

It was winter and snow was on the gro
und, but he had a high fever. Fred
wrapped him in the bedroll and rocked him slowly while he urged more of the warm substance into his mouth
. This little one must not die!

A twig snapped in the clearing and Fred looked up from his careful watch of the boy. There stood four Indians. He recognized one of them as his friend. He had called him James be
cause he could not pronounce his Ute
name. “James, I am glad to see you! Who do you have with you?”

“Fred, my friend, do you have trouble?”

“Yes, the boy is very sick. He
has suffered
headaches and fever many days for years.”

“Then, it is not the sickness that comes and goes away fast, killing many.”

“No. I am sure of that. He has
been sick
for three years.”

“I will give to him some herbs for pain I use.”

“Thank you
,
my friend.”

“What are you thinking? He can’t just give Elmer something! He might kill him!” Nan stood in front of Elmer with her arms crossed.

“Who is this little girl?” questioned a startled James.

“This is my wife, Nan.”

“Wife? She is too young. I will give you my sister. This one is a baby.”

Nan stretched to her fullest height and looked at James with a stern expression, “The boy is my brother and I say
n
o
.”

“Is Fred your husband?”

“Yes.”

“Then I do what he says. He is boss.”

“What?” Nan turned to look at Fred and see his reaction.

“You heard him. I am the boss. Besides, their medicine really does work wonders.”

“How is it that you explain yourself to a woman?’

“She is a new wife and doesn’t know the ways of the wilderness.”

“Better she learn fast.”

“Yes, she will learn. I will explain and she will listen and learn.”

“Good. If she doesn’t learn her lessons well, remember I do have a sister that could be a good wife.”

“I will keep that in mind, James”

Nan stood there unable to speak. She had escaped one boss to obtain another one. She wondered if he would take the law of the wilderness ways of beating wives into submission. She hadn’t thought of that. Fred didn’t seem to be that kind of man, but he spoke differently in front of these Indians. Would he get another wife? Was that legal? Maybe it was if one was an Indian. What would she do if that happened?

James reached into his shirt and pulled a leather thong from his neck. Attached to it was a small leather pouch with dried herbs in it. He took the tin cup Fred offered to him and placed a pinch of the herb into it. Fred put a little of the soup with it in the cup and placed the cup up to Elmer’s lips. Elmer seemed oblivious to his surrounding and mechanically sipped the contents of the cup.

“It will make him sleep deep.”

“Can we continue on the trail while he sleeps?”

“It is best if he is asleep while he travels, yes?”

“Thank you, my friend.”

“You going to big settlement where your father lives?”

“Yes”

“God’s speed to you.”

“Go with God, James.”

“Fred, a big preaching man is in the settlement of your father.”

“Do you know him?”

“Yes, he is the one who is a close friend to you.”

“Not Marcus Hall?”

“Brother Mark.”

“Did you go to see him, James?”

“Yes, I also take these three
brothers of mine. They see a difference in me and want to be like me.”

“Are they like you now?”

“Yes, they take God as Holy Father of all, and His Son Jesus too.”

“James, you … I don’t know what to say! You helped me more ways than you know today.”

“See, the boy sleeps in a resting way. You must go on now.”

“Yes, we are going now.”

Fred broke camp as soon as he could get things together. Nan held the peacefully sleeping Elmer close to her. She mused at the conversation that she witnessed between James and Fred. How was he a friend to Indians? Who was Brother Mark? Why would an Indian go to a church meeting, let alone take his brothers? There was a lot about Fred tha
t she did not know. T
he medicine that James gave to Elmer
gave
him some peace and she was grateful for that.

“Come here, Nan. You get on first and I’ll hand Elmer up to you.”

Fred settled Elmer onto Nan’s lap and they continued the descent down the mountain to the “big settleme
nt” that Fred used to call home.

Chapter 16

Mary could hardly believe her good fortune. She pressed the palms of her hands against her stomach and dreamed the dream of a childless woman with a glimmer of hope for a baby. She was to see the town doctor today to confirm her suspicions. It was a luxury, but she did not want to take any chances at her age. After all, she was thirty-two years old and not a spring chicken any more.

Carefully she placed her newest hat upon her head and tilted it in the latest fashion. All the special pains in her grooming must be kept up to be reputed to be a respectable, somewhat prosperous, upstanding name in the community. There was no telling who she might run into in the mercantile.

She had won respectability among the ladies in her church sewing circle and bridge club, but one could not be too careful or let their guard down. Mr. Dewey had even consented to attend the large fashionable church on the urging of Mary as to the importance of social standing in the small community. He had made a decent impression and it had boosted her endeavors tremendously. Sam had told her that he was glad that she had taken to the thought of making the Dewey name revered in the community.

After all,
Campo
was growing and now was the time to be known as an established family. He wanted only the best for his children. Being respected and having children were about the only thing Mary could think of that Sam actually cared much about. Maybe when he was married to Nancy he knew he could never measure up to her perfect dead husband.

Well, one thing was for sure, Mary came from hardy stock and bearing children was the one thing her mother did best. A smile flickered across Mary’s lips as she remembered the five healthy brothers that were in her family. Mom had only lost two to childbirth. She knew of no one else in her hometown that could boast of that. She pinched her cheeks and climbed into the buckboard that Sam had brought around to the front of the barn. She just knew that she would have good news to share today.

Sam waited outside the mercantile for Mary to finish up with the doctor. A lot depended on the news that she would have for him. If she were with child there was a fifty/fifty chance that by spring planting time his inheritance would be given to him. He only wished that he could know if the offspring would be male. Sam was not a patient man, but there was nothing that could be done but wait it out. What would he do if it were a blamed female? Nothing he could do but try again and again if need be.

Mary was strong. Some would have thought him crude if they knew that he had looked her over like a horse in an auction. He had learned his lesson with the pretty wife. For all his trouble he had ended up with a slew of dead babies and a dead wife who had left behind two offspring of another man for him to deal with. He was glad they were gone.

The townspeople would have expected him to treat them as if they were his own flesh and blood. Oh well, one thing Nancy left him was a big piece of property with a large house and barn, probably the best spread around these parts.

He chewed these thoughts around in his head just like he was chewing on the long strip of jerky in his mouth while he leaned against the post waiting for that confounded woman. He turned his thoughts this way and that. There was one thing for
sure;
he certainly didn’t have this woman figured out. When he left to see about Ma, she was meaner than a cougar. Now she was sweet as pie.

He enjoyed the sparring of comments and the game of deceit. He knew that she was being deceitful, but at least she looked better, smelled better and cooked better than before. He didn’t care much for the socializing part, but it did make sense to build a good reputation for his heirs. If it killed him, he would sit in that big, old, dusty church so he could be considered respectable.

One thing made it bearable and that was that the Bible was hardly ever opened except for extremely familiar verses that seemed disconnected from his life. Mostly the parson spoke on politics and literature.