Nathan's Vow (14 page)

Before Gillian could answer, the
Texan came up to her, tipping his hat and giving Nathan a short but
acknowledging nod.  "I don't want to keep you.  I just want to tell you
what a pleasure it was passing the time with you."  He handed her a
business card.  "You ever decide you want to bring your craft shop down to
Austin or even sell a franchise, you just let me know.  I'd be honored to be
an investor."

Gillian took the card and tucked it
in her purse.  "Thank you, Charlie.  I'll remember that.  You have a good
trip home."

His smile was pure Texas charm, his drawl dripped with the interest evident in his eyes.  "And if you
ever need anything else or just want to chat, you give me a call then, too. 
You hear?"

Nathan couldn't listen to any
more.  He took Dana's hand and hitched Maddie higher in his right arm.  To
Gillian, he said, "We'll be over at the hot dog stand when you're
through."

Gillian's expression was perplexed,
but she nodded.

As Nathan bought sodas for the
girls, turmoil bubbled inside him, and he wished he hadn't declined the Scotch
on the flight to New York.

Gillian caught up with them a few
minutes later.  She attempted to make conversation, but he simply didn't feel
like talking.  When they boarded the plane, the girls wanted to sit together. 
Nathan and Gillian settled them with pillows and blankets and as soon as they
could recline their seats, Dana and Maddie were asleep.

Next to Gillian , Nathan lay his
head against the headrest and stared straight ahead.  "Maybe you shouldn't
be so friendly."

"Pardon me?" Gillian's
voice was tired.  He felt her elbow nudge his arm as she turned toward him.

He straightened as he remembered
her smiles, the Texan's.  "Don't play innocent.  You and Charlie.  What do
you know about him?  I hope you didn't give him your business card."

"I don't have business
cards."

"Did you give him your
number?" Nathan pressed.

"Is it any of your
business?" she snapped with uncharacteristic sharpness.

"I'm concerned, that's all. 
You can't flirt with a stranger--"

"I wasn't flirting!"  Her
brown eyes were wide with astonishment and she sounded hurt.

He tried to make his voice even and
tempered.  "It sure looked like it to me."

"Well, maybe you're not seeing
clearly."

The hurt was gone and angry gold
sparks had taken its place.  What did she have to be angry about?  "He was
handsome, smooth, and probably rich.  Why wouldn't you flirt with him?"

She gripped the armrest tightly and
lowered her voice.  "Nathan, I don't know what your problem is.  I passed
time with a fellow traveler on a long trip.  If you had been sitting next to me
and started a conversation, I would have talked to you, too."

Her explanation didn't erase the
evidence of interest in the Texan's eyes.  "Are you going to call
him?"

"Maybe.  If I'm ever in Texas," she added in a dry tone.

"Did you tell him?"

"What?"

"That you're a psychic."

"No!"

For some reason that one emphatic
denial calmed Nathan.  "At least you don't confide in strangers."

"You were a stranger, but I
confided in you," she murmured.

"I needed your help."

"I told you more than I tell
most people."

Suddenly a question burned hotter
than any question he'd ever asked.  "Why?"

Her answer was slow in coming. 
"I don't know."

It wasn't the answer he wanted,
though he didn't know what that was.  Any more than he knew why jealousy had
taken hold of him while Gillian spent the trip talking to the Texan.  If he
could understand the jealousy, then maybe he could understand why his daughters
going home with him wasn't enough to ease the restlessness and frustration of
the past six months.  Maybe he was having a delayed reaction to finding them.

Or maybe he was concerned that
Gillian would disappear from his life as quickly as she'd entered it.

Chapter
Eight

Nathan opened the door to his house
and de-activated the alarm.  Dana ran in front of him and up the stairs.  He
chuckled as he lowered Maddie to the floor.  She toddled up the stairs after
her sister.  He watched to make sure she made it to the top.

"It's hard to believe they
were asleep a few minutes ago," he commented.

"It'll take a day or so until
they adjust to the time change."

"You could stay tonight and
help them settle in."  He told himself he only had his daughters' welfare
at heart, that he didn't care one way or the other if Gillian stayed.

"I don't think that's a good
idea.  I'll just be an interference.  They need time alone with you, especially
Dana."

He could see the wisdom in
Gillian's refusal, but he also sensed she was still retreating from him.  He
didn't want that.  "Maybe you're right.  But I do think they'd like to see
you again.  Will you come on a picnic with us tomorrow evening?"

She hesitated.

He didn't want to chase her off,
and he wasn't sure what would make her stay.  Yet he couldn't keep from
touching her cheek, from feeling satisfaction at the way desire sparkled in her
eyes.  "Gillian, I want to see you, too."

She let out a soft sigh.  "A
picnic sounds nice."

"We'll pick you up and drive
up the coast.  The girls have a favorite picnic area.  The view is
terrific."

Backing away from his hand, she
said, "I might go into the salon for a while tomorrow if they need me. 
I'll call you and let you know what time I'll be finished."

He wanted to pull her into his arms
and kiss her, he wanted to carry her upstairs to his bedroom.  But he knew
neither, right now, would be a good idea.  He had daughters to care for, and
Gillian needed some time to decide to let him into her life.  He was hoping he
could hurry that decision.

#

Nathan pushed Dana's stroller down
the street at Disneyland, glancing at Gillian as she pushed Maddie's, all the
while thinking about last night's picnic.  It had been...fun.  Gillian was
fun--and warmth and smiles and sunshine.  With the girls ever-present, she
seemed to be able to relax with him.  When they touched inadvertently, she
seemed comfortable, maybe because she knew nothing else could happen with the
girls nearby.  Being close to her, yet not so close was driving him crazy.

Even here.

This was Gillian's first visit to Disneyland.  She was as wonderful to watch as his daughters as her eyes widened, her smile
broadened, and she pointed out attractions she'd like to see.

Maddie turned around in her
stroller.  "Go potty."

"Me, too," Dana added
from hers.

Nathan pushed Dana's stroller
toward the bathrooms as Gillian guided Maddie's.  "I'll get us something
to drink and meet you back here in a few minutes.  "Think you can handle
both of them?" Nathan asked Gillian, not knowing how she'd feel about
caring for his daughters.

She simply smiled and helped Maddie
from her stroller.  "No problem."

One of the things he liked about
Gillian the most was her ability to take life in stride.  She didn't get
ruffled easily and her calmness calmed him, too.  The line at the drink stand
was long, but Nathan decided to wait.  Finally the vendor put the drinks in a
cardboard carrier, and Nathan headed back to meet Gillian and the girls.  He
was striding toward the rest rooms when he saw Dana standing alone a few yards
in front of them in the midst of the milling crowd.  She looked upset and tears
trickled down her cheeks.

When she saw him, she cried,
"You weren't here!"

Gillian came running with Maddie on
her hip.  "Dana, you should have stayed with us."  To Nathan, she
said, "I was washing Maddie's hands and all of a sudden Dana was
gone."

His four-year-old looked up at him
accusingly.  "You said you'd be here."

Nathan set the box of drinks on the
ground and crouched down beside his older daughter.  "I am here.  The line
was longer than I expected."

She stared at the toes of her
sneakers.

"Dana, you're going to have to
trust me."  He gently lifted her chin and vowed, "I promise if you
get lost or you need me, I will find you.  It might take some time.  But I will
find you."

His daughter stared into his eyes,
searching for the proof that he'd keep his vow.  Finally, she murmured,
"It took you a long time."

He knew she was referring to their
trip to France.  "I know.  And I'm sorry."

She hesitated a moment.  Finally
she said, "Mommy told Collette Gillian helped you."

He didn't want to get into this
here, but with Dana finally talking to him, he didn't want to stop her now. 
"Gillian has a special gift.  She can help find lost people."

Dana asked Gillian, "You
helped Daddy find us?"

"Yes, I did."

"How?"

"When I sat in your room among
your things, when I talked to your grandfather, I felt and saw pictures that helped
us find you."

Nathan brushed the streak of a tear
from his daughter's cheek.  "It's an unusual talent.  Not something
Gillian tells everyone about."

"Like a secret?"

Gillian smiled.  "Sort of like
a secret.  I only tell people who really need my help."

"Daddy needed your
help."  Dana threw her arms around Nathan's neck and held him tight. 
"I'm glad you found us."

Emotion tightened Nathan's chest. 
When Dana let go, he gave her another hug, then picked up the drinks.

Gillian's eyes glistened, and his felt
suspiciously moist.  As they fetched the strollers and walked toward the shade
of a palm, Gillian said, "I wish I'd had a father like you."

"I screwed up big at first. 
Don't make me into something I'm not."

They settled the girls in the shade
with their drinks.  Dana and Maddie were entranced watching Mickey Mouse amble
down the street like a pied piper.

Gillian was standing close enough
to Nathan for him to smell her shampoo mixed with sunshine.  "Nathan, for
what it's worth, I think you've changed from the man you were.  Agreed, I
didn't know you then.  But I know what I see now.  You're a loving father and a
good one.  Don't doubt that for a minute.  You put Dana and Maddie's needs
before yours.  That's what parenting is all about."

Gillian gazed at him with respect
and admiration and maybe more.  She made him feel as if he could climb the
highest mountain or swim the deepest sea.  He was attracted to her on such an
elemental level, he ached.  "Do you know what I want to do right
now?"

"What?"

He lowered his voice and bent close
so that only she could hear.  "Kiss you and touch you until my needs and
yours and satisfying them are the only thoughts we have."

She looked astonished for a moment,
then he saw the flames of passion that licked inside of him dancing in her
eyes.  "Nathan..."

He curled his arm around her,
resting his hand on her waist.  "You can't deny your feelings any more
than I can."

The flames died down and she
retreated again.  "I can't deny them, but I have to be sure if I act on
them."

He squeezed her waist, his hand
temptingly close to her breast, his lips almost caressing her ear.  "Sure
of what?  Why can't we simply enjoy each other?"

She leaned away.  "Because I
don't need a fling, Nathan."

His heart beat at least three times
before he asked, "What do you need?"

"I need a man who can give me
his love for a lifetime."

Love.  Such a small word.  It hurt
Nathan.  It brought up feelings of betrayal and abandonment.  He took his arm
from around her.  Suddenly he knew Gillian was right to keep her distance
because he couldn't provide forever.  He wasn't sure anybody could.

#

Nathan tried not to call Gillian. 
And he managed it for five whole days.  But then Linc asked him and the girls
to spend an afternoon at the beach.  Nathan picked up the phone and called
Gillian because he couldn't imagine not asking her along.  The sky was summer
blue and cloudless, the ocean tumultuously gentle, the waves lapping at the
shore with wide brushes of foam.  Gillian sat on the beach with Dana and
Maddie, shoveling sand into a bucket to mold a tower for their castle.  Her
hair glowed more blond than brown in the bright sun.  She was unmindful of the
breeze and the smudge of sand on her cheek as she laughed with the girls and
added water to her sand mixture from a bucket beside Maddie.  Her bare
shoulders and bare legs distracted Nathan enough that he'd stopped helping for
the time being so he could cool off with a soda.

Linc handed him one from the cooler
on the beach towel.  "She seems so ordinary," Linc commented. 
"When you told me she was a psychic--"

"She's not ordinary by a long
shot.  Gillian's the most intuitive person I've ever met.  Or maybe I just
never met anyone like her before.  She has this way of zeroing in on problems,
or feelings.  I don't know if Dana would have come around without her."

"She's good with the
girls," Linc said blandly.

"They like her a lot."

"So do you."

Nathan shot a warning look at his
friend. 

But Linc didn't take heed.  He
lowered his voice so it didn't carry on the breeze.  "What's wrong with
admitting you like a woman?"

"Don't read more into this
than there is."

"Exactly what is there?  She
helped find the girls.  Why are you still seeing her?"

"There's chemistry between
us."

"Women have attracted you
before and you haven't brought them along to build sand castles with your
daughters."

"I told you I'm grateful to
her for--"

Linc grunted.  "Don't lie to
yourself, Nathan.  You might want to take her to bed, but I think there's more
going on than chemistry and gratitude."

"A bachelor is advising me on
relationships?"  Nathan took a few long swigs of soda.