Needing Him (8 page)

I shut off the ignition and turned to him.  “Explain.”

“Can we go inside?”

“Nope.”

Taking a deep breath and letting it out he said, “When I went up to your house that day I didn’t know what or how I was going to handle things.  I knew I needed to break things off to buy me more time to figure out how to handle Erin.  Once we broke up she wouldn’t release what she knew about you.  I had a plan, I just had to set it into motion.”

“You do know that you could have just told me the plan and I would have gone along with it, right?”

“I know you would have, but what would have happened if we slipped up and got caught together before I was able to get to California?  I wasn’t going to take any chances.  I needed to protect you at all costs.”

“By breaking my fucking heart?”  He was incredible.  Truly incredible.  We could have avoided the entire situation, but nooo.

“I didn’t want to break your heart, but you have to understand that when I got to your door that day and saw Kai and Lee, you broke mine too.  Honestly, Kasi, what I saw was you having two men that you'd had sex with in the past over to your house while I was away.  One repeatedly.  Plus you came to the door pulling your shirt on.”

“But…”

“I know you said it was purely coincidence.  Why didn’t you call to tell me they were staying there?”

“I thought you were working.”

“You could have texted me or left me a voice mail.”

“Yes, but they weren’t there long before you had gotten there.  You didn’t give me a chance to.”

“It would have taken you thirty seconds to send me a text letting me know.  Nothing more.  Yet you didn’t.”

He had me there.  I should have and didn’t.  I didn’t know what to say.  I made a mistake and knew it.

“I was upset after seeing that,” he continued.  “That’s not including the way Kai looked at you, like he wished you were his.  I’m sorry, but from my view point it was all wrong.  It hurt me to think you wouldn’t tell me.  All kinds of scenarios were going through my head.  Were you sleeping with him again?  Did you not want me anymore?  Was I not good enough for you?  Maybe you were better off with Kai.  He’s more on your level.  He understands the life you lead better than I do.”

“You said that when you broke things off with me.  I can’t believe you’d think I would cheat on you.”

“And I can’t help the way I felt in that moment.  I went to your house with a plan I needed to enact to protect you.  What I didn’t expect was to see two members of the hottest rock band alive answering your door.”

“Radek, you approached the entire situation all wrong as far as I’m concerned.  You and I could have figured something out that wouldn’t have entailed my heart being run over by your truck when you left that day.”

He shook his head.  “I saw how hurt you were at the thought of your secret getting out.  No, I was going to do whatever it took to protect you.  You didn’t like it, well neither did I, any of it.  From the minute you told me Erin called until now has been one gigantic clusterfuck.  All I cared about was you through it all.  Only you.  I never wanted to see you hurt like that again.  When I saw the pictures of you with Kai and Lee out together having fun, my stomach sank.  I thought you’d moved on.  Those pictures looked like you and Kai were dating.  In every one of them he had a hand somewhere on you.”

“Yes, but what you didn’t see was me pulling away from him.  You just keep jumping to conclusions.  None of this is fair to me.  For your information I never knew Kai and Lee were coming to stay at my house.”

“Why didn’t you have them go to a hotel, Kasi?”

“I don’t know,” I said and it was the truth.  “I was happy to see my friends that I didn’t think to have them stay somewhere else.  They are friends and nothing more.  I didn’t have a chance to do anything by the time you got there.  I was with you and faithful to you.  No matter what you think you saw I didn’t sleep with them before you showed up.”

“What about after I left?”

“Nothing!  Only friends.  Well, in an effort to fully disclose everything, Kai did kiss me, but I pulled away from him.”

“He kissed you!  That’s huge Kasi!  If he’s in love with you I’m sure he took it to mean that there could be more between you and with me out of the picture, the door was wide open to a relationship with you.  So what happened after the kiss?”

“Nothing at all.  We talked and slept.  That was it.”

“Slept?  Like in the same bed?”

“Yes, it is possible to sleep in the same bed as someone and not have sex.”

“Bullshit!”

“So I’m lying again?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.  This is all so fucked up.”

Looking straight into his eyes I said, “It’s only been you since we met.  My heart has only been yours.  I haven’t been with anyone else since we started dating.”

“What about Kai?”

“I made it clear that we could be nothing more than friends.  What about you?  Did you do anything with anyone while we were apart?”

“No,” he said sternly.  “I didn’t even look at anyone else.”  He raked a hand through his hair.  “You own me, Kasi.  Heart, body, and soul.  Even when we were apart I was yours.  You’ve touched a part of me so deep and when I didn’t get to see you I ached.  My body psychically hurt without you near.  You weren’t the only one who was broken.”

“You broke us, Radek, not me.”

“I didn’t think I had any other choice.  Don’t you see?  I would do anything for you.  I would put my life on the line if it meant saving you one ounce of pain.  My entire world revolves around you.  If I’m not with you then you’re on my mind.  When I sleep, I dream about you.  Fuck, it’s bordering on an obsession.  I miss you, Kasi.  I don’t want to be away from you any longer.”

Tears were pooling in his eyes and I knew he was being sincere.  He was telling me the truth, but was it enough to mend my broken heart?  Were his reasons justified?  Could I forgive him for everything that he’d done?

I didn’t know the answers, but knew I had to take a leap of faith.  I missed him with every fiber of my being.  He was mine and had been since I first laid eyes on him.

~ 9 ~

Pushing off of the driver’s seat, I climbed onto Radek’s lap, straddling him.  My hands went to either side of his face and I could feel his rough stubble under my palms.  Emotion whirled within me.  Being so close to him again awakened the fire that laid dormant while he was gone.

He looked into my eyes blinking back tears in his own.  In those eyes I could see his hurt.  The hurt that matched my own.  He really did love me and was only doing what he thought was necessary to protect me.  I still wasn’t happy about the way he went about it¸ but I couldn’t resist the pull to him any longer.  We needed to talk more, that was for certain.  All I wanted though, was to feel his skin against mine.

On a whisper he said, “Kasi.”

Closing the distance between us, I kissed him.  He immediately opened for me and our tongues started a very greedy dance.  We only broke our kiss to shed clothing.  First our shirts, then he pulled my black lace bra down and covered my nipple with his mouth.

His tongue swirled over the tip sending a jolt of pleasure through my body.  I was moaning loudly, holding his head in place.  He was alternating between sucking and gently biting.  Fuck, did I miss him.

I tried to move, but the front seat of the Jeep became too confining.  With my left hand I reached down to the lever on the side and reclined us all the way down.  I started to climb over him to get to the back seat.  If I folded it down we would have a bigger area to lie on.

Radek grabbed my hips as they hovered over his face.  He quickly undid the button and zipper of my jeans and swiftly pulled them down my legs, along with my panties, throwing them to the side.  Taking his strong hands he parted my legs over his face and snaked his tongue out to lick up my center.

“Oh God,” I cried out.

He didn’t waste any time getting right to work on my clit.  Both of his hands gripped my thighs, holding me while I bucked at the onslaught of sensation.  That tongue of his, that talented fucking tongue, swept down my center, dipping inside of me, lapping at my juices.

Working it back up, he settled in on my swollen nub again.  He knew exactly what pressure to put on it to send me soaring.  My body jerked above him as the orgasm rocked me to my core.  I didn’t want it to stop.  The feeling was so intense.  His name tumbled from my lips over and over again.

Once he was satisfied he had given me one hell of an orgasm, he pulled me down on top of him.  I rested my head against his chest to slow my breathing.  My leg slid up and I could feel how hard he was.  I moved my leg over his cock repeatedly, loving the feel of him and knowing I was the one who made him that way.

He reached down and quickly freed himself.  I slid lower to help him remove his jeans and boxer briefs.  Looking down at his dick, I licked my lips and bent forward, unable to resist tasting him.

As soon as my lips wrapped around him, he jerked up into my mouth.  My hand cupped his sac, rolling it gently with my fingers.  The taste of his pre-cum was making me moan low in my throat.  Radek must have liked the vibration, because his hands flew to my head to push me onto him further.

The primal need to show him that he was mine and no other’s roared to life in my head.  Just the thought that he could have been with someone else while we were apart made me work him faster and harder.  Hollowing my cheeks, taking him all of the way to the back of my throat, he was mine!

Within seconds he sat up in the seat as his seed coated my throat.  I milked him for every last drop.

I wasn’t satisfied yet.  Climbing up his body, I straddled his waist and started grinding my pussy against his now softening cock.  Low and seductively I said, “I’m not done with you.”

“Good, because I’m far from done with you,” he said, brushing my hair from my face.  “In fact, I can tell you with certainty I’m not going to be done with you for a very long time.”

“Oh is that so?”

“It is.  Now kiss me.”

Our mouths met, our tastes mixing, creating an aphrodisiac like no other.  My grinding pelvis was slowly bringing his dick back to life.  He smacked my ass and told me to get into the back.

Climbing over him, I folded down the back seat and crawled as far as I could go.  I had to move the groceries off to the side.  Luckily, I hadn’t bought too much and we still had plenty of room.  He followed me into the back, grabbing my ankles, dragging me toward him.

“Look at me, Kasi.”  My eyes met a fierce stare.  “Only I will be inside of your delicious cunt from here on out,” he said while thrusting into me.  I cried out, my body going limp at the feeling.  “Baby, eyes on me.”  I had to force them open.  “Good girl.  I need you to fully understand how much I fucking love you.  How tortured I was for those two weeks without you.  Now, I’m going to show you how badly I’ve missed you.”

I was unable to speak as he was pounding into me.  He wrapped his right arm under my waist, lifting my hips, the other arm bracing his body above mine.  His movements became more fluid, more determined.

He was using all of his best moves to make me come and he looked magnificent doing it.  The muscles in his chest and stomach contracted on each movement.  Tiny beads of sweat started to slowly glide down his body.  I wanted to lick them off, but the way my body was building toward another orgasm kept me in place.

The angle was perfect.  The familiar sensation building.  My head was thrashing from side to side, my nails raking along the fabric beneath me, my toes curling inward.  My body started trembling from my climax.

This one wasn’t as intense as the last, but I felt it deeper within myself.  Our connection solidifying once again.  After he worked me down from my high, he gripped my legs behind my knees while he sat up as best he could given the roof of the SUV.  He held on tight as he powered into me.

Right before he came I watched his eyes close and his lips part.  He was breathing heavy, groaning when he released inside of me.  Thrusting a few final times, he relaxed, draping himself over me.  Kisses were feathered along my forehead, face, jawline, and neck.

“I love you, Kasi.  I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.  Never do that again.  Never walk away from me.”

“Never, baby.  Please believe me.  I only did what I thought was best.”

“I know you did, but we need to work on trusting one another and we need to talk about everything.  No more secrets, including secret missions.”

“Deal.”

I pulled him to me and gripped him tight.  Looking up at the back windows, I noticed they were all fogged up.  I lifted my hand from Radek’s back and drew 'KM heart RC' on the window.  Childish I know, but it made me smile.

After all that we’d been through I was all for being happy.  I didn’t want to be sad again for a long ass time.  My pilot was back in my arms.  Our relationship was far from perfect, but whose was?  I didn’t know anyone who had one.  I preferred to be flawed.  Flaws make a person who they are, as does real life experiences.

“Oh shit,” I said.  “The groceries.”

He started laughing.  “I hope you didn’t buy any ice cream.”

Pushing him off of me I sat up and went in search of my clothes.  I didn’t bother putting my bra and panties back on.  I had a feeling I wouldn’t be wearing clothes for long.

My pilot, yes,
my
fucking pilot, helped me put the groceries away quick.  Ace was beside himself when he saw Radek.  Spinning in circles, brushing against him, it was so cute.

We decided to take him with us to go get Radek’s truck.  I worried if we left it there that someone would tow it.  It was still there when we arrived thankfully.

I had one night with him before he left for work.  He assured me he would only be gone for that one night.  I was grateful.

While he was gone I decided to have dinner with my girls.  Aubrey, Anna, and I went to one of our favorite places.  I know what you’re thinking.  Five star, gorgeous, up-scale dining right?  Nope, hot dog stand that was family owned and employed all of the local high school kids.  They made the best hot dogs and I preferred eating there over any fancy place around.