Never Me (6 page)

“You’re right. You deserve better. So much better. I’ll go get your clothes, but it may take me some time. Just wait here. I don’t want to get caught. Wait, okay?”

“Whatever, just go.”

“I am sorry I did it, Nadine. But I will never, ever fucking regret it.”

“Clothes, Spencer, okay?”

“Going.”

I must have stood there for an hour, scared shitless he wouldn’t come back. I was naked and terrified someone would walk by. I was worried about Rory who knew better than to take off without me. This was bad.

My worry turned into relief as I saw Spencer approaching with a towel and my dress. I was crouched in a sitting position, too scared to sit my bare ass on the sand. I was starting to feel the pounding in my head and was no longer laughing. He handed me my dress and held up the towel so I could put it on.

“Thanks,” I said, mouth shuddering now from being naked and wet, the whipping wind chilling me to the bone.

“I’m sorry it took so long. The damn beach patrol took forever to leave. They assumed we would be back for your clothes, guess they finally gave up.”

“It’s fine, thank you. I’m surprised you came back.”

“Of course I would.” He gave me an awkward smile. “Jack and Amy called my cell. Rory is with them and they’re waiting for us at our hotel.”

“Oh good,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Nadine. I shouldn’t have kissed you and touched you like that.”

“Whatever, I hadn’t thought about it. I’ve been preoccupied, naked and freezing to death.”

He gave a soft chuckle as I wiped off the excess sand from my legs and I studied him. Nice guy and harmless. He met my watchful gaze.

“What?”

“You take care of people,” I stated.

“What?” It was almost a whisper as he came closer to me. I could see alarm in his eyes.

“You take care of the people in your life. I can tell. It’s like second nature.”

“How the hell can you tell that?”

“Just a gift I have.”

“I might be really dangerous,” he answered playfully, inching closer.

“No you aren’t.” I replied, certain.

“I take care of my dad.”

“You look a little young to do that. How old are you anyway?” I saw his face tense and he grabbed my arm, steadying me across a huge mound of sand as we made our way toward his hotel. “Twenty-five.”

He didn’t acknowledge my first statement, so I left it alone.

“So who are Amy and Jack to you?”

“They’ve been my best friends since high school. They’re incredible people and travel everywhere and drag me along once in a while.”

“They seem nice.” I felt at ease now walking along the beach in the dark with him. I still got excited every time I heard a wave crash into the shore. Oklahoma didn’t exist. “And Ellie?”

“They hoped we would hit it off, but we didn’t. They’re dying to get me married. Not everyone has it as good as they do.”

“Never Me.”

“What?”

“I will never EVER do that to myself.”

“Marry?”

“Hell no. It looks horrible. Like a job you have to do and pretend to enjoy. No fucking way.”

“I won’t argue that point.”

We rounded the corner of his hotel and he grabbed me by the shoulders. “Let’s hang out tomorrow.”

“I don’t know where I’ll be.”

“With me.” He brushed my shoulders with the pads of his thumbs and I eased away.

“You are not invited.”

“Yes I am.” He smiled again, revealing the full beauty of his perfect face. I had never had a guy with dimples. They did something to me. He was not boyishly handsome; he was all man. His eyes were large and his lashes touched his checks when he glanced down at my body, which was pulsating and peaking in places under his stare. I instantly remembered the feel of his cool lips on me, his fingers grazing my body. I felt my breathing coming quickly and stopped myself from saying more. Outside his hotel I stared into his brown irises, letting my eyes drift down to his chest. It was perfectly bare and etched around him like someone had cut him from solid stone. They drifted further down to the swim shorts clinging to him. I wasn’t taking this view for granted again.

“I am invited,” he said with a grin as he watched me admire him.

I turned and dashed into the hotel, irritated with myself for giving him that much attention. We quickly made our way to his room. All eyes were on me first as I walked in. We all burst out laughing and telling our version of what happened after we ran from the beach patrol rent-a-cop.

“Flashlight cop, no gun, just a big flashlight. I see you, I see you,” Rory laughed as she took a remote, pointing at each of us with it in jest. “What was he going to do, pile us naked on his golf cart and bring us in?” She roared again and we followed suit. This would be a story none of us would forget soon.

Amy welcomed us by putting shots in our hands. I tapped my glass with Spencer’s and made the mistake of looking at him. His eyes swam with heat, but his mouth was curved into a sweet smile. Spencer was like nothing I was used to seeing. His dark hair hung loose around his forehead, barely sweeping above his eyes—eyes that were beckoning me to give him something—something I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t the look I craved so much, it was … different. I pushed the thought down as I took the shot, letting it burn my thoughts out of me. The feeling in the room was one I hadn’t felt in years. It was like we belonged together … and it felt like … like … family.

My intention was to grab Rory and leave, but we ended up taking shot after shot and talking until the sun rose. I was immediately taken with Jack and Amy and understood what Spencer saw in them right away. They were the happiest couple I had ever seen. It was infectious to look at them and even more infectious when they spoke. Ellie—the fourth in their group—was quiet and didn’t say much, but matched us shot for shot and laughed along with all of us. She’s not his type, I thought. She was too quiet for Spencer. That’s why he’s not into her. He needed someone with more personality. Poor Ellie, she had it bad for him. I saw her look at him more than once with ‘the look.’ Women, and the stupid damn curse of wanting what you can’t have. I shook my head as I downed another shot.

“Has anybody seen the cat?” I heard Spencer groan next to me.

“What cat and quit yelling!” I groaned back in reply.

“The cat who took a shit in my mouth while I was sleeping.”

The whole room erupted in laughter as I peeked at him on the bed next to me. He took my breath away with his devilish smile. I played immune and turned to face the wall, smiling at it instead. We had all passed out, strewn over the two king beds in their hotel.

“And so the day begins,” Jack said as he smacked Amy’s ass, getting an evil stare in response from her. Ellie walked around the room passing out ibuprofen and Gatorades.

“You guys seem to have it together,” Rory remarked of their hospitality as she took her pills and popped them in her mouth, downing half her bottle.

We quickly rinsed our mouths and each took a shot of the liquor that made us sick and headed back to the beach. Rory went to get our suits from our hotel as I sat in a beach chair watching everyone else and my surroundings to wait for her. The sky was a deep blue, the sun the only thing to paint it. Today the water was a clear blue. I heard fifteen different songs streaming through radios and watched sunbathers rub oils onto each other. I jumped back as a seagull landed next to me on one of the vacant beach chairs. All I could think of was
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
, a fascinating book I read when I was young that blew my mind on life’s endless possibilities. I truly believed some of its principles to be true. I pretty much based my future on the theory that if you accepted the world around you the way it was, you could never get to the next level. If you thought outside the box, the possibilities were endless. I had my father as living proof. But, as with any good book or piece of advice, I took what I felt was right for me from it and left the rest. I was sure there was a God, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted anything to do with me. I made sure to listen for him.

“Hi, Jonathan,” I piped happily, my headache now gone.

“We’re naming seagulls?” Spencer asked as he approached for a towel on the beach chair next to mine. Every single time I looked at this man it was like taking a hit straight to the chest. His hair held the moisture from the water at the tips in drops of perfection that framed his perfect face. He was a damn wet dream and his lips were moving, asking me a question. What was he asking? His body was making the Oklahoma whore in me want to attack, his smirk ruining my stability. Oh, the seagulls.

“They are all Jonathans.”

“One name for all of them… Hmmm, will you name your children this way, too?”

“It’s a long story, about a book really.”

“I’ve read it, 9th grade English.”

“Well, what did you think?”

“Not what you do,” he scoffed, drying himself off as Jonathan flew away.

“Save it. I don’t want your negative thoughts ruining my good mood.”

“They aren’t negative.”

“Sooo what?”

“You think the idea of levels is true?”

“Why not? Higher consciousness, progress, knowledge is power, brings you closer to God. What’s wrong with that?”

“The book says nothing about God.”

“I take the advice I want to in this life. You should, too.”

“By taking yours right now? I’ll pass.”

“Why? Why so close minded? All the greatest thinkers who walked the world adapted to this theory.”

“What theory?”

“What’s your problem with being open minded? Thinking about what you truly want and asking for it out loud?”

“Nothing. No, not nothing. I just don’t think it’s realistic to believe if you open yourself up like that it’s all sunshine and rainbows.”

“To each their own, you total pessimist. You are ruined already, and so young,” I said, mocking him with a grin.

“You are the baby. Nineteen? I thought you were at least in your twenties.”

“Everyone does. Let me guess, Rory the mouth told you.”

“Yep. I also know you have a birthmark on your ass shaped like an apple. I missed it last night.”

“Sorry, pal.”

“I’ll see it.”

“The hell you will.”

He leaned in close, holding his towel. “You don’t want to challenge a guy like me, Nadine.”

“Oh, you clearly have no clue,” I said coyly, rising off of my chair to meet Rory for my suit. “You can’t win.”

His hand clamped around my upper arm and he brought me to him, face to face. I looked at him with the same determination he returned. “Game ON,” he whispered. His eyes told me this would be fun, but his wicked smile said he might have been telling the truth.

Shit.

I took his fingers and released his grip one by one and whispered back, “Your funeral.”

I turned and narrowed my eyes at Rory. Shit, shit, shit, shit. I had just given Spencer an invitation.

“I am going to kick your ass! “ I yelled at Rory who was fast approaching me. Rory turned around abruptly with both suits in hand, wild eyed with fear and leaving when she saw the menace in my walk toward her. I burst out laughing as she ran from me and I tackled her into the sand. I heard Spencer howling with laughter behind us.