Never Say Goodbye (7 page)

In his arms.

    
“Ella, Ellllaaaaa, Ellie!” I startle awake, I must have relaxed a bit too much. My head is on Luke's lap, his fingers stroking the side of my face.
    
“Ellie?” I yawn and sit up.
    
“While you were asleep I wanted to give you a unique
little nickname for me to use and I thought
Ellie was best suited.”
    
“Cute.” I reply, rubbing my head.

    
“We need to go.” He stands to his feet and I hold my arms up in front of him so he can help me up. I pout when he sighs and he looks delicious. He pulls me to my feet. I wipe down my backside in case any leaves have attached themselves to my jeans. He pulls me close and holds me just for a second.
    
“Luke.” I whisper.
    
“Yes?”
    
“Let’s do this again.” I smile at him.
    
“Absolutely.” He kisses me gently then grasps my hand and we walk in silence to the car.

He drives me home and we sit in silence as he pulls up outside my house, the tension drawing us close together. He leans over and turns my head. I’m holding my present on my lap - being careful not to drop it.
    
“Do you think you can fall for someone this quick? I mean properly fall for someone, not just a crush?” He asks, his mouth set in a hard line.
    
“I think you can.” I answer, a shy smile making its way across my lips.
    
“Kiss me.” He murmurs. I lean over and hover above his mouth, just staring into his eyes waiting for his approval.
    
“God, Ella.” He pulls me close, hard, my stomach complaining as I lean over the gear stick.
This car is so small
. I make sure I don't drop my present and move over to straddle him on his lap. He moves the driver’s seat back so we have some room and his hands glide through my hair softly, but still holding me in place. We have little kisses and smile between, neither of us wanting to let go.
    
“Whoa.” I feel his erection push against his jeans and I smile down at him. “Someone’s happy.” I laugh at him and he pouts. “Don’t pout at me, Mr. James.” I push his lips together and reward them with a big wet kiss. I lean down to his ear, “Luke, I need you to promise me something.”
    
“At this moment, Ellie, I’d promise you the world.”
Ellie. I do like it.
    
“I like Ellie.”
    
“Me too, it suits you. Now, tell me my promise.” He looks at me, his eyes possessed with mine. I lean my forehead against his.
    
“Please, don’t repeat what I’ve told you tonight to me ever again. I never open up, and talking about Jay, well, it just opens old wounds when my demons are buried. I need to move on. You now know that part of my life, so keep it safe in here for me.” I put my hand against his chest and he nods. I smile at him and fall into his kisses once again.

******

I feel a sudden sadness as I watch Luke drive away. It tugs at me and it feels so strange. Wow, what the hell just happened to me? Eighteen years old, falling in
love.
Yes, Ella, it has to be love.
When he has driven out of sight, I open the front door to my house and gently shut it behind me. I lock it and tiptoe up the stairs to my bedroom. As soon as I flop on the bed, I have a knock at the door.
    
“Come in.” I whisper. My dad pokes his head around the door, I sit up instantly afraid he might be angry with me.
    
“You okay, Els?” He asks.
    
“Yes, Daddy, come in.” I pat the space on the bed next to me and he takes a seat graciously.
    
“I waited up.” He says through a yawn.
    
“I told mom not to wait up, I was on a date.” He looks at me and softly smiles.
    
“Oh, Els, are you happy?”
    
“Yes, Daddy. Does love happen quickly?”
    
“Yes.” He says with no hesitation.
    
“Your mom and me, we fell in love instantly. Our eyes gazing across the bar at each other. She just broke down all my guards.” He shrugs, remembering the fond memory. “I asked her on a date, she said yes. It was perfect.”
    
“Daddy, I think I might be falling for Luke.” I look at his puzzled expression and laugh. “His name is Luke James. His family is very wealthy. Not that money matters to me. His father owns restaurants, baseball grounds, and Dodge Vipers. It’s quite overwhelming.” I sigh.
    
“I’m sure it is, angel. I know of his dad, we used to work together. Still do really. I work for a company he owns.”
    
“Really? I didn’t know that. You work with cars right?”
    
“Oh, Els, it’s lovely to know you have such a keen interest in me. Night, baby.” He kisses my forehead and stands to leave.
    
“Goodnight, Daddy.” I give him a smile and he closes my door slowly. When it’s shut, I pick up my present from my bedside table. I take a deep breath and open it.
Inside the gift box is a second box with ‘Chanel’ on the front.
Whoa, Chanel, fancy.
I open the box slowly, and inside, perfectly circled, is a bracelet. It looks silver. It’s a linked chain with a love heart as the clasp. My tears fall down my cheeks as I try it on. Inside is a note.
I know this is new, I know this is crazy. But, Ella, you have captivated me. Let me show you what it means to be with me.

Luke.
I smile ridiculously at the note and hold it for what feels like hours. I put the bracelet back in its box and put it in my bedside drawer. I fall asleep, dreaming of fast cars, glittering trees, and soft kisses.
 

*****

I awake to the sun shining through my drapes, a warm glow warming my heart. As soon as I wake, my cell buzzes.

*Morning
, Ellie, Need a ride? *

I smile reading my nickname, but today I want to drive, I miss my car. I reply instantly.

*Morning LUKEY.  Sorry I’d like to drive. Miss my car. See you in Math? E x *

His reply is instant
,like he was waiting for my reply. It warms my heart
.



*You hurt me miss! Lukey
,I like it. See you then baby.
X
　*
Baby.
I sit up in bed and hold my pillow. I smile and it won’t leave my face. I'm dazed by my bracelet, it really is so beautiful and I haven't really done anything to deserve it. I really hope he doesn’t think I need buying, because I don’t. I frown at my thoughts and mumble into my pillow.
    
Thinking about it, his guard is up
. I raise my head quickly, and tilt my head to the side.
Yes, of course.
He has issues too. He wouldn’t answer me about the compliment he refused to agree with. I really must stop being selfish and let him in too. This could be why he needed someone to talk to without being judged. I mentally note it and decide that I will talk to him eventually.
I do, on the other hand, feel relieved to have told him about Jamie. It’s something I don’t ever have to repeat.
    
God, I hope he doesn’t feel sorry for me.
I groan again at my wayward thoughts. My cell phone vibrates beside me, interrupting my reverie.
    
“Hello?”
    
“Hey, sexy girl!” Jade’s voice instantly causes a grin to appear on my face, distracting me.
    
“Hey, Jadey, what’s up?”
    
“Nothing, I just miss you, and you bailed on me the other day.”
She doesn’t have to know it may have been the best thing I ever did.
    
“
Yeah, Jade, I'm sorry about that. What time is it?”
    
“Almost 8, you ready for school yet?”
    
“No.” I tut down at her through the phone. “I’m still in bed, thanks.” I can feel her smile.
    
“Well I think you should make an effort today, beautiful. Straighten your hair, bit of mascara, and get your boobies out!”
    
“Jade!” I scold but still laughing hard with each other on the phone. This is why I love this girl.
    
“Jade,” I sigh, “I need to talk to you. About Luke.”
    
“Yeah, I heard about that, Dylan was talking to the guys about it yesterday. Ella, Luke isn’t all he says he is.” She sighs.
    
“What am I going to do?”
    
“Els, you just be yourself, baby girl. I’ll see you later, you got a lift?”
    
“I’m driving myself today.” I sigh.
    
“Okay, babe, I’ll see you at lunch, text me if you can, I miss you.”
    
“Miss you too, love you, Jade.”
    
“You too. Bye.”
As I close my phone, I feel liberated and happy. I jump up and dig through my closet for my best bra and panties. No more mixing and matching if I have a boyfriend.
Is he my boyfriend?
I giggle to myself as I slide my underwear on. I pad barefoot toward my floor length mirror and stop to look at myself. I feel contentment radiate my body. I look, well, hot. I smile and continue my hunt for clothing. I find a fitted black tank top and a pair of blue faded jeans.
Sorry Jade, but this is me.
I don’t straighten my hair. Instead, I let it fall over my shoulders naturally. I put on some mascara and check myself again in the mirror. I snap a picture of myself and send it to Jade and Luke.
 

*Does my butt look big in this
? *
He doesn’t know about my lack of caring for myself, but Jade does. So her answer matters a lot more to me. Jade replies, almost instantly.
*Meow!! *
 

Her response makes me smile a warm, happy smile. I hop on one leg, trying to get my converse on. A few minutes later I feel my phone vibrate again. I read the name and smile.

*Beautiful. *

Just that one word causes my now well-known butterflies to escape and flutter in my tummy. I hold my midriff and grin. I walk over to my bedside cabinet, switch on my stereo, which plays a dance beat, and open the drawer. I pick up the box and put on the bracelet. I shake my wrist and the sun catches the metal and stuns my eyes. I find myself laughing. I trace the outline of the bracelet with my index finger and let out a sigh. It really is so beautiful. I’m ready. I really, really must repay Luke back somehow for his gift.
Sex.
I shove off the idea instantly.
I am not a whore.
    
I check the time - I have twenty-five minutes before I need to be in school. I grab my jacket and bag from the end of my bed, shrug on my jacket, and make my way downstairs. I run into the kitchen and my mom is standing at the sink. I smile at her, briefly examining her. Her beautiful, wavy, chocolate hair falls so far down her back. She always looks like an angel. I grab some toast and shove it in my mouth, still trying to get my hand in my jacket sleeve. She turns and smiles at me.
    
“Hey, baby.” She whispers.
    
“Hey, Mom, sorry I’m going to be late. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I mutter through toast. She smiles and waves goodbye. I do love that woman. I run down the hallway, struggling to hold the toast in my mouth, get my jacket on, and find my keys. I open the door and slam it behind me.
    
I drive into town to find a clothes store. I spot one and park my ridiculously long, beautiful car. I wander into the shop. It takes me around five minutes to find what I need. I pay for it and put it into my trunk. I drive to school with the biggest smile on my face.
I really hope he likes this.
    
When I arrive at school, things just feel, well -
different
. I park my car, grab my bag off of the back seat, and get Luke's present out of my trunk. I put it in my bag carefully so that I don’t ruin it. I put in my headphones, and while walking, find myself looking around the parking lot for Luke’s car.
　


I approach the entrance and look back. Everything looks clearer today. Everything looks beautiful. The trees swaying in the wind look beautiful, the dark grey sky above me looks beautiful. I smile and turn to walk into a familiar figure. I look up and smile. Pulling my headphones out, he pulls me to him and his arms hold my waist.
    
“Hi.” I whisper. He pulls my hair away from my face and kisses me just below my earlobe. I giggle and struggle; I can feel his smile against my skin. Suddenly he pulls me so that we are running around towards the side of the school. We walk over the rubble, down a small gap, and he pushes me up against the wall.
    
“Luke, what the hell -” I laugh loudly as he pulls back looking me up and down. He looks good today in a fitted white t-shirt and dark denim jeans.
    
“This is very revealing.” He whispers, his tone soft and seductive. His index finger outlines the neckline of my shirt, gently skimming the top of my breasts. I breathe out, not realizing I was holding it in. He moves forward so his body is pressed against mine, our noses are touching.
    
“You look hot.” I whisper quickly and then look away, embarrassed. He pulls my chin back towards him so that our noses are again touching.
    
“As do you, Ellie, beautiful.” He kisses me softly, no tongue, and pulls back.
    
“Thank you for my bracelet.” I grin and raise my arm to show him. He puts his hand around my wrist and traces the bracelet, just as I was earlier. He leans down and kisses it gently. He looks up at me, with sorrow in his eyes.
    
“I wanted to help, y’know, with the scars.” His voice reduced to a whisper, his index finger gently skimming over the faint white lines on the inside of my arm. Now I understand why.
    
“Luke, don’t be stupid. I know they are there.”
    
“I know.” he sighs. “But, maybe now you will be reminded of me and not of those bad memories.” I smile at him, put my arms around his neck, and pull him toward me. His beautiful smell capturing my senses once again.
    
“It’s such a lovely gesture.” I look up at him and reach for my bag.
    
“And, I got you something too.” I look down at my feet.
    
“Really?” He asks, his tone now an excited one.
    
“Um…yeah.” I search my bag and hand him his gift. “You asked for a new one.” I say, smiling downwardly as he opens up the white t-shirt.
    
“I wasn’t being serious y’know, when I said you owe me a new one.” He grins. I look up and catch his gaze. He pulls my chin and lightly grazes my lips with his.
    
“Thank you, Ellie. Let’s try this on then shall we?” He drops his bag to the ground, and pulls the hem of his t-shirt over his head.
Wow
. I examine him.
My muscle man.
I pull my eyes away and look down, fumbling with my hands.
    
“You can look.” He says as he pulls on the t-shirt. It fits him perfectly and I can’t believe he is going to wear it today.
    
“You don’t have to wear it now.” I blush.
    
“You bought this for me, I have to return the favor.” He gestures toward my wrist and lifts my hand to his lips.
    
“We are going to be late.” He whispers against my hand.
We walk together, hand in hand, and I wouldn’t change this full stomach, happy feeling for anything in the world.
    
At lunch, I
grab my usual sandwich and find a seat to gaze from. The lessons have gone so quickly this morning. My thoughts have been filled with a man desperate for me, who looks at me with such a beauty, like I’m all he ever wanted. It feels good to be ‘wanted’, it’s a strange feeling.
I don’t know why, but when I spot Luke, I duck to hide, disrupting my reverie. I jump up and stand behind a pillar in the cafeteria. He’s with Jenna, she’s holding his arm and he's looking down and smiling with her. I turn away, nervous that he might see me, but think twice about it. My subconscious makes me turn back to look. Just as I turn, he leans down and kisses her cheek. She turns and they lock mouths.
    
No, no, no
.
    
The worst part is, is that Luke responds. It might just be for a second, but he kissed her back. The feeling of fear, adrenaline, and hurt floods my body and I think I’m going to collapse. Luke pulls away from Jenna, and holds her at arms-length. She looks angry but I can’t concentrate with these tears falling down my cheeks. Is this betrayal? Is this it? One week of us? Of
nearly
falling head-over-heels? With those thoughts running through my mind, I watch Luke pull Jenna into an embrace.
What is happening?
    
“Ella, you okay?” Jades voice immediately relaxes me. I pull her into my arms and just cry into her shoulder. “Hey, Ella, babe what’s wrong? Come on, tell me?”
    
“You were right.” I mutter through tears. “He doesn’t want me, he never did, you were right, Jade.”
    
“Come on then lets go.” Jade grabs my hand and we leave school. She drives my car to town and we go for coffee.