New Beginnings (New Beginnings Series) (6 page)

Again she drew in a breath and her head pulled down into the covers. This time he knelt beside her and held her, trying hard to absorb some of the pain. Never before had he felt the fear running through him, not even the few times he watched the muzzle of a gun facing him. Out loud he said quietly, “God, don’t let the doc be too far behind me.” The words he spoke startled him for a second, he couldn’t remember ever saying a single prayer in his life before.

Slowly her head came back up out of the covers and she looked at Sam sitting beside her on the floor, her eyes appearing too heavy to stay open. He was surprised to see the corners of her mouth turn up into the slightest bit of a smile, as she weakly said, “I knew if I asked, you would come.” Her head rested back on the bed, her eyes closed and her breathing seemed to go even and shallow and he knew she was asleep. Already the room was starting to warm, the frost melting off the quilts.

Sam pulled himself up onto the bed, completely ignoring the pain in his leg. He reached for his walking stick and stood, leaning heavily on it. He looked around the room to find anything he could use, but seeing nothing, he pushed aside the old rocking chair and opened the door to the next room. What he saw made him hesitate a moment. A larger bed, complete with a beautifully carved head and footboard was made up as if it was used every day. A small cradle sat beside the bed, also looking like it was ready to use. A neatly folded stack of blankets, including two from the Hudson’s Bay Company, sat on a trunk at the foot of the bed along with a small pile of towels.

He heard Sara pull in a deep breath again and turned to go back, but he saw this time she stayed asleep, still leaning against the bed. He continued with his search by looking through the small wardrobe, which was filled with mostly men’s and boy’s clothing. At one end he found some women’s items and rifled through them until he found a nightgown. When he pulled it out of the closet he realized it looked to never have been worn. He placed it on top of the pile of blankets and towels and went back into the other room, which was warming well. Except for one blanket, he placed everything on top of the warming oven to absorb some of the heat. He bent to remove the coat from Sara, placing it over a chair. He looked at her and took his own deep breath, thinking to himself, ‘What in the world am I going to do?’

Again she pulled in a deep breath of pain, this time her eyes opening wide. Her mouth opened, but no sound came from it, until she breathed out in a moan. He sat down beside her on the bed and placed a hand on her cheek, and found it to be very warm, as with a fever. Her hand came up, she placed it over his, and he felt it tremble against him.

“Sara?” he questioned, as she looked back at him, “I don’t know what to do, what should I do?”

Her eyes stared back into his and he could see they were as blue as the summer’s sky. “Let me die.”

This shocked him into motion. It angered him. As he grabbed both her shoulders he answered, “I didn’t ride out here in the cold and the dark to let you die!” He pulled her up on the bed beside him, still wrapped in the quilts, then hugged her close to him. He knew the fight in her was nearly gone, but he would not let her die, no one took anything or anyone away from Sam Fielding!

He felt how she shook against him and he knew he must get her out of the wet gown and bedding. He had never done anything like this before. So many things since he met her were new to him, most of them frightening. He wrapped one of the clean blankets around her as he discarded the two quilts, this way he helped her sit beside him on the bed, hanging onto both ends of the blanket with one hand and unbuttoning her nightgown with the other. As the gown fell open he saw her pregnant body and he couldn’t help himself as he placed his hand on her bulging belly. She looked at him and placed her hand again over his, saying gently, “It’s dead, you know. That’s why it is so early.” He felt the muscles tighten as another contraction started and she leaned into him, holding on. She whispered as it ended, “I wanted to be alone … I’m glad I’m not alone.”

After he removed the wet gown, he wrapped her tightly in the blankets. The shaking ceased after a while and she seemed to sleep, still taking a deep breath as the pain came over her, but staying asleep all the while. He didn’t know what to do and he was scared. He saw death before, once his own hand caused it, but never before did he not know what to do. With moist eyes he prayed, “Please don’t let her die. She’s a good woman. Please don’t let her die.” In the distance he could hear the sound of sleigh bells and he knew Doc Brown was on his way. Sometimes in the past he heard those bells and was annoyed at their merry sound. The doctor said they gave a bit of cheer to the winter months and today Sam felt that cheer. As he moved toward the door, he said a simple “Thank you.”

Lily came with the doctor, thinking she could help persuade Sara to come back to town with them. They did not expect to find what they did and the doctor went quickly to work, saying they really had no time to waste. The reason why Sara slept through the contractions was because her energy was completely depleted. He checked the baby, found it was coming breach and as soon as he could take hold of its legs, he pulled the tiny boy from her. As she said, his little body was lifeless … and blue, Sam noticed. The doctor quickly wrapped him in a towel and handed the bundle to his wife. All the while Sam sat beside Sara’s head and brushed her hair away from her face with his hand. Lily and the Doc exchanged glances when they watched him, as it was so out of the ordinary for the man everyone thought owned the world.

With the birth completed, Lily sent the men from the cabin while she tended to the patient. She did this once before for Sara and knew where all the items would be she needed for after the delivery. As she did before, Lily gave her a comforting wash, for at times like this Sara needed so much to be consoled. Even though on the outside she would not show how she grieved her losses, would show no feeling or concern, it was hidden away deep inside. She slept through the process. Helping Sara seemed to give Lily a feeling of consolation. She knew some of the pain Sara felt, as she, herself, felt the grief of not having a child. She never experienced the pain of holding a babe in her arms, then having it taken away, but she did know the wanting of it. She attended many births, still her own pain did not subside and she knew the routine as if having experienced it herself. Lily went into the bedroom and set up a toileting area for Sara to use, placing the chamber pot on a chair, and the prepared bag of cloths close by. She had a strong feeling she would not be the one to stay with Sara and Sam would not understand her needs.

Lily called the men back into the little house, having set the coffee pot to brew while they sat for a bit. The men were both feeling the cold, but made no attempt to come inside until they were called.

The three sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed the hot beverage. They quietly discussed the situation at hand as Sara slept peacefully. She now seemed to be out of any danger.

“She’s really too weak to move at the moment. It would be best to wait for a couple of days,” the doctor started.

“I can stay with her,” Lily offered.

But the doctor shook his head, saying, “I need you back at the office. Brett Cummings has to have his leg set today and I need you to help me.”

“That’s fine,” Sam said putting up his hand, “I’ll stay. Tom can take care of the bank. Besides, Sara probably saved my life two weeks ago. I almost let her die, staying is really the least I can do in return.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, son.” The doctor placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t have come out today if you hadn’t. If Sara survived the birth she probably would have frozen to death.”

“What about the baby? Do you think her dates were off?”

“No, by the look of it, he came between two and three months early. He died in the womb as the two did before.”

“Poor Sara,” Lily said, looking over at her lying peacefully on the small bed. “All she really wanted was a family. After Willie died ... then William ... she really had nothing. I wonder why she stayed here, all by herself.”

The doctor gave Sam instructions for taking care of Sara. Lily told Sam of the preparations she made in the other room. They thought maybe he would lose his desire to care for her, but instead he showed no alarm and still insisted he would.

The most important thing was to get a lot of fluids back into her and Doc wanted to make sure she could drink before he left. They tried to awaken her by calling her name, then a shake, but with no response the doctor took the smelling salts from his bag. Sara woke with a jolt as the salts were so strong. She was still weak and very tired. She had a hard time staying awake, but she drank a cup of weak tea before going back to sleep.

The doctor and Lily prepared to go back to town, saying to Sam they would send someone out in two days.

He responded by asking not to send Eric, as Sam thought Eric scared Sara a little. They would be fine in the meantime.

As they were about to go through the door, Sara quietly said from the bed, “Please don’t tell anyone about the baby.”

Lily walked back to her and placed the back of her hand against Sara’s cheek, saying, “Don’t worry dear, we won’t say a word. No one out of this room has to know.” With that, they both left, Sam stepping out onto the porch with them for a few moments.

“Should I give her any medicine?” he asked.

The doctor turned back on his way to the cutter and gave a smile. “Ask Sara, she’ll tell you what she needs. Probably the willow bark tea of hers will help, right, Sam?” Without speaking, the latter turned back toward the door, a little puzzled, wondering how he knew. The doctor added “See you in a few days,” as he waved, then guided the horse toward the trail.

Sam stepped back inside the little house and saw Sara watching him. He walked over and sat down on the bed beside her and again brushed a strand of hair from her face with his hand, which lingered for a moment on her cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered to him, then closed her eyes again and seemed to sleep.

He sat for a while, watching her, wondering a lot of “what ifs”, beginning with, “what if he hadn’t been shot and sought Sara’s help?” and ending with, “what if he didn’t ride to her home today?” Of course, there were no definite answers to those questions and he was grateful for that, thankful for how it all worked out. He had no idea what the future would bring, but he felt it could only be better for both of them. He must have sat for an hour when he realized he forgot about his horse. He didn’t want to leave Sara’s side but he needed to tend to Dickens. He put on his warm clothing and went out to look for the gelding.

He gave his horse a call and a whistle as he followed the tracks toward the trees. He was surprised to see the gelding’s head poke out from a small building which was used to house the few chickens. As the horse stepped down from the floor, Sam was amused to see a chicken sitting on the back of the saddle. He realized this was where Sara hid the horse before. The chickens were quiet and he lifted the hen down, sending it back into the building. He took the tack off of the horse and placed it in a small room next to the nesting house. Inside was a barrel of oats and a pile of hay, some of which he set outside for his horse and filled a wooden bowl of oats for the poultry. He looked around to see if anything else needed to be tended and finding nothing, went back into the home.

As Sara was still asleep, he proceeded to look through the cupboards to try his hand at cooking. It had been a long time, but he thought he could make something so they wouldn’t go hungry. This was all new to him, and he was starting to like it.

Chapter Five

He became a little discouraged when he was looking through the cupboards and shelves. Sara probably could mix up something with the ingredients, but him? Would it even be edible?

A quiet, soft voice spoke behind him and he turned to Sara. “If you go down into the root cellar you will find jars of food already prepared.”

“Oh, you’re awake,” he said, relieved. He walked over toward the bed, using his cane again, leaning on it heavily. With the commotion of the day he almost forgot about the wound, but now it throbbed and he could not ignore it.

“Oh, Sam, you’re having trouble walking,” Sara said, making an effort to push herself to a sitting position.

“Don’t you dare!” he said as he moved quickly beside her and sat on the edge of the bed. “Doc says you have to rest.”

She lay back down, but added, “For now, but later I’ll have to get up for a little while. Doc Brown and I had that discussion about confinement before, about staying in bed for a week after a baby is born. He loses the argument each time.”

“He says you are stubborn,” Sam brushed the piece of hair away again, “says it is one of your strong points.”

Sara’s hand reached up to touch his, “And what do you think?”

“You’re a very strong woman, Sara.”

“Maybe a little crazy?” she questioned him. “Not many expectant mothers hide out in the middle of nowhere.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons.”

‘God, those eyes are blue,’ he thought to himself as they looked back at him, ‘so soft and so deep I can practically see to her soul.’ He always told himself this was never going to happen, he would not let it happen! But here he was getting pulled into it, hook, line and sinker and he couldn’t stop it … no, he didn’t want to stop it.

“Anything special you want me to bring up from the root cellar?”