New Love (21 page)

-of course Jade if that’s where you need to be that’s where you should be…Tessa

Alright then how do I occupy myself tonight?
She smiled and sent a text to Cassidy.

-feeling better, need to hang out with you all tonight, party after at the camp?...Tessa

-sounds awesome…Cassidy

Her first scene she walked onstage and eventually she saw the first row; Jade, Phoebe, Becca, Ryan, Alex, and
Lucas.
Why was he here
? She sang
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
and saw Jade tearing up. She looked at Lucas, and he was staring at her, she closed her eyes and made her way to center stage where she closed her eyes again and sang. At the end of the song, a tear ran down her cheek.

“That was amazing Tessa,” th
e director hugged her.

Tessa walked in the dressing room, and the cast all hugged and cheered. That was it, the last performance. She gave them all directions and they would meet there in an hour. She walked out and her friends
all stood waiting in the hall.

“Tessa
, you looked and sounded beautiful,” Jade hugged her.

“Oh it was nothing,” she
laughed.

It absolutely was, all the stuff she had gone through since the beginning, it was exhausting.

They all hugged her and congratulated her, except Lucas.

“Good job, these a
re from all of us,” he handed her flowers, yellow roses and white daisies.

“Thanks they
…” Lucas turned and walked away. “He hates me,” she said and immediately realized she had said it out loud.

Jade laughed, “No he doesn’t silly, he wants you to be happy.”

“Oh I see that by his actions over the past oh let’s see since I met him,” Tessa laughed.

Jade la
ughed as if she knew more. “I’ll see you at church in the morning, right?”

“I’
m not sure I’m going, but I really want to hang out tomorrow, and since we’ll be roomies… I think we can figure it out,” Tessa rubbed Jade’s belly and whispered, “Love you.”

Tessa went to camp and was ready to get lost. Cassidy was staying sober to drive. Tessa however did not…not at
all; she was drinking wine and smoking. They laughed and talked as they played drinking games that Tessa had never even heard of.

They had polished off the drinks and most of the weed and were cleaning up when her phone rang. She looked at the ID and it was him.

Chap
ter 10

“Hello,” she said.

There was no one on the other end. Tessa tried calling him back, and no one answered. She was started to get worried. She texted him,

-Is everything okay
?…Tessa

-No, sorry I shouldn’t have called, never mind…
Lucas

-where are you?...Tessa

-Home I’m fine leave it alone…Lucas

Everyone was starting to leave camp.

“Cassidy can you give me a ride?” she asked.

Cassidy dropped Tessa off at
Lucas’s and told her to call if she needed a ride home.

Lucas’s
mom’s car wasn’t there. Lucas’s bedroom light was on, very dim but on. Tessa tried the door, it was open. She walked in and went upstairs. She knocked on the door, no one answered. She opened it hoping she wouldn’t see him in bed with anyone. He looked at her.

“What are you doing here Tessa?” he said softly as he looked at her, “You’re loaded, how the he
ll did you get here?”

“I hitchhiked.  You should talk your room smells like
a freaking bong,” Tessa giggled. “Where’s your Mom?”

“Not here,” he said. “Tessa I’
m calling Alex to come get you.”

She
laughed “I don’t think so, I’ll call Cassidy after you tell me why you called me.”

“Did you fuck Ben?”

“Not really your business, but no,” she said, “Did you sleep with that girl from the club?”

“Not your business but no,”
Lucas said mocking her.

She scowled at him. “How about the girl from lunch the other day?”

“No Tessa,” he said, “You need to leave.”

“Why do you hate me?”

“Because I have to
.”

“Why
can’t we be friends?”

“Tessa could you really see us as friends?” he asked and laughed at her.

“Why did you take Sadi’s side over mine when she pulled out my hair Lucas?” she said loudly.

“Because I
needed you to leave.”

“Why did you try to get me into bed with those two girls
Lucas?” she yelled.

“Becau
se I knew you’d leave.”

“Did
you sleep with them?”

He looked at her, “No
… they left right after you did.”

“Why did you make me come home the night of the calling hours and throw me into your car and talk t
o me like I was a piece of dirt?” she asked, “And call my Mom yesterday?”

“Because you were sick and needed help and you don’t fucking listen to me like now, you need to go home
Tessa!”

“Answer a couple more questions
Lucas and then I will,” she screamed back at him.

“I don’t want to, and you’re acting like one of the twelve right now so get the
fuck out of my house.”

She stood there and looked at
him; she couldn’t hide the shock and disappointment in her eyes.

“Right there Tessa that look, I can’t stand it, you’re disappointment and pity drives me right over the fucking edge,”
Lucas yelled at her and stood up.

“I don’t pity you
Lucas!”

“Oh that’s right I’
m an embarrassment, like you told your friend Cassidy! Yeah that was fucking sweet one of my favorite memories of our time together,” Lucas grabbed her arm. “You are leaving.”

She pulled away from him and looked scared.

“I didn’t want people to know about Toby or about what you had gone through Lucas, I didn’t want you or I to feel like we were being judged by people you asshole--- and don’t fucking grab me it hurts.”

He released her arm and his ey
es widened. “Damn it Tessa, I’ve hurt you and you’ve fucked me up too, I’m begging you please leave.” he sat on his bed.

Tessa walked into the bathroom to gain distance. She texted Cassidy and walked back out and sat down on the foot of the bed.

“Get the fuck off my bed Tessa,” his voice warning her.

“I texted Cassidy she will be here soon, ok
ay?” Tessa snapped.

“Perfect, the sooner you’
re out of here the better,” Lucas snapped back.

“I wish, I wish yo
u didn’t hate me,” she walked out and texted Cassidy as she sat in his driveway and cried. He watched out the window as she got in the car.

“Take me somewhere far away, I want to fucking disappear. Take me to my aunt’s bar.”

Tessa walked in and saw Karaoke Joe.

She hugged her Aunt, “
This place needs a boost?”

“Hey Tessa, only if you eat something first, you’re a mess girl,” Josie said.

She and Cassidy ate a slice of pizza.  She was busting to sing, and she saw Lucas and Ryan.

“I need to leave,” she whispered to Cassidy.

They started leaving, and Lucas walked up to her, “We’re going to take her home, Cassidy.”

“No,” Tessa
walked out the door.

“Tessa, come with us,” Ryan said, “Please,” he hugged her and wiped her tears.

“Why Ryan? He said enough tonight.”

“No he hasn’t, come on,” he opened the door, and she got in the back.
“Thanks Cassidy.”

They drove to
Lucas’s house, and Ryan got out and walked inside.

“Can we finish our conversation?”

“We did,” she responded sarcastically.

“No baby we didn’t,”
Lucas opened the door for her, “Give me ten minutes and if you want to leave, Ryan can take you home.”

She followe
d him inside and up the stairs.

“I hate your room,”
she sat on the floor.

“I’m sorry” he said and sat next to her. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“Home,” she looked down, “I don’t feel all that well.”

“Tessa I’
m sorry, about all this shit,” Lucas said, “All of it, do you understand? I needed you to hate me so you could move on. Will you fucking look at me?”

"No…," she said quietly.

He moved in front of her, “Knee to knee Tessa and look at me,” he lifted her chin, and her eyes raised and met his “Tessa, I love you. I’ve tried not to, but I need for all this shit to go away. I was escaping it all just fine and...,”

“Then you called me and hung up,” Tessa whispered. “You love me?”

“Damn it yes Tessa, I do! I never stopped. I wish none of this had happened, and I wish I could turn back time and all that shit, but I don’t expect you to forgive it!”

“You haven’t acted like you love me
Lucas,” she whispered and looked down.

“I never
stopped. I wanted better for you. I needed you to hate me, Tessa. I wanted you to stay away,” Lucas whispered.

“Do you w
ant me to stay away?”

He didn’t answer
her; he just shook his head no as he stared at her.

“I don’t know what to do,” she cried.

Lucas looked at her and cupped her chin in his hands as he stroked her lip with his thumb.

“I don’t know either. H
ow do I fix this, how do we move forward? I don’t know the answers, but we can figure it out together if you want. I do know I love you, ever since the pond that hasn’t changed” Lucas kissed her.

“Positive?” she asked breathing harder, he shook his head yes.

She kissed him slowly as he looked at her. He tasted so good, and she didn’t want to stop.

He p
ulled back and looked at her, “Baby we are both fucked up,” he said in a husky strained voice, “It’s been a very long time since I’ve touched you.”

“Please
Lucas, tell me you won’t hurt me, I love you so much.”

“I could neve
r hurt you… again, I love you.”

“You’re sure? I can’t do this again unless…” Tessa began.

“Forever,” he said, his eyes taking her in.

“Do you need to
ask me anything?” she kissed him.

“Will you marry me,” he asked breathing very heavy.

She smiled, “I think you’re skipping a few steps.”

“Tessa Ross will you be my girlfriend, again?” he said closing his eyes and smiled.

“I have missed that smile so much,” she tried to kiss him.

He pulled back, “You di
dn’t answer my question… and I’m not that kind of guy.”

“Okay we have a lot to talk about,” Tessa looked down and smiled.

“I know. We have a lot of time, no rush,” he hugged her.

“Oh,” she said.

“What does
Oh
mean?” he asked sitting back.

She looked at him and felt her face flush, he smiled.

“I…have you slept with anyone?” she asked.

Lucas
shook his head no.

“So there won’t be anyone popping up in a few weeks saying their pregnant?” she asked.

“No Tessa,” he looked down.

Tessa saw his eyes and he looked hurt. She had not meant for that to happen. She took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head and looked at him as he lifted his arms. She pulled hers off next, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I want you, all of you…” she began.

“You’re sure?” he asked softly and kissed her neck.

“Yes, I love you.”

He fumbled trying to unclasp her bra as he kissed her throat and moved to the other side of her neck kissing gently. He was still trying to unhook her bra, and he laughed.

“This is embarrassing, not as smooth as I wanted to appear,” he kissed her quickly on the nose.

Tessa laughed and felt her stomach churn.

“Uh oh,” she stood and ran past him into the bathroom.

He followed her in and held her hair back, “Sorry…”

Lucas handed her his toothbrush, and she washed her face.

Tessa looked in the mirror at herself. Her eyes filled with
tears, as she covered herself.

“Tessa, come here,”
Lucas grabbed a towel off the towel bar.

“
Lucas I’m so sorry I just,” she began.