New Love (18 page)

“Jade anyt
hing you need,” Ryan said, “I’ll always be here, always.”

She climbed up next to Tommy and hugged him and kissed his face.

“Tommy we’re going to be okay, you take care of our baby for now, my love. I promise I’ll see you again someday,” she sobbed and so did everyone in the room, “Tessa, I don’t want to leave him, I can’t leave him,” Tessa hugged her. “This hurts so badly!”

Maggie walked in, he
r eyes red and burning “Jade I’m going to give you a shot, okay?”

“Okay Aunt Maggie,” she cried.

She clung to Tommy and they stayed until she started to get sleepy. Jack picked her up and walked out of the room.

Tessa bent dow
n and kissed Tommy’s head, “I’ll get them through this, I promise.”

She looked at Ryan “You want to say something to him?”

Ryan put his hand on Tommy’s head and closed his eyes and then walked out.

Tessa bent down, “
Lucas,” he looked at her. “It’s time to say goodbye for now.”

She whispered and kissed his head.

Lucas shook his head no. Tessa held his hand until he finally stood up and stroked his hair, “Goodbye for now, brother,” he closed his eyes as tears fell.

He was shaky as he started to walk
out; Tessa put his arm around her shoulder and helped him. They stopped at Tommy’s parents, he hugged them both and Tessa helped him to his room.

Lucas
sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, his head rested on her chest. She rubbed and kissed his head.

“
Lucas, you need to sleep,” she said softly.

He looked up at her, “You do too
, Tessa.”

“I’
m going to have my mom give you something to help you sleep okay?”

He shook his head yes, she turned to leave.

“Tessa wait, what you said to Jade? Do you actually believe that, you know the stuff she told Tommy?”

She walked over and squatted down.

“Yes Lucas, I do. Just like I know he has met your child and I’m sure the two of them are already the best of friends,” she smiled and a tear rolled down her face.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes I am.”

He hugged her and she held him.

Maggie came into the room and gave him a shot to relax him. After a few minutes he started to relax, she lifted his feet onto the bed and covered him up.

He looked at her, “Baby
, thank you.”

She hugged his Mom and went to check on Jade, she was asleep in Jack’s arms. She walked out and Ryan and his parents wer
e in the waiting room with Ben. Ryan stood up and hugged her.

“Tha
t was beautiful Tessa,” he kissed her cheek.

“Ryan they’
re going to need us for a long time,” she started to cry.

“We can do that, I’
ve always tried to watch out for Jade, ever since the boy’s accident,” Ryan said.

“You love her don’t you?
” Tessa whispered.

“Always have, alway
s will.” Ryan said sadly.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Tessa hugged him.

“They’re making me go home. Will you call me and let me know how things are going?”

She
shook her head yes.

Tessa turned around and Ben was sitting drinking coffee. There were three empty cups in front of him, she smiled and walked over to him. She sat down and took his hand.

“Hey Ben.”

“How you holding up
, Tess?”

“Good,” she tried to smile
.

She hugged him and cried as
he held her.

Maggie came out, “Tessa
, why don’t you let Ben take you home?”

“I
can’t leave them,” she stood up, “Jade needs me.”

“Honey
, Jade’s sleeping. When she wakes up she’s going to be released. Uncle Jack and I talked, he’s taking the week off, he’ll be there. You need to sleep so you can be there, too,” Tessa looked at her searching for more. “The same thing with Lucas, he’s okay and he’ll be going home today, his Mother will take him home. I will let them both know I sent you home and that you will see them later. Ben-- you okay to drive?”

“Sure am Maggie,” Ben
smiled.

Tessa went to check on them and told
Lucas’s mother she was being forced to go home, and to please let her know if they needed anything, she programmed her number into her phone and hugged her.

“As long as you’re alright
, he will be too,” Tessa said.

“I think that’s true of both of us Tessa,
he misses you badly.”

“I know how he feels,” Tessa leaned over and kissed Lucas and wiped his tear stained cheek she held his head between her hands and rubbed his cheek. She pressed her
forehead against his and then kissed his nose. She stood remembering Kate was in the room. She wiped her eyes and walked out.

Tessa had the same conversation with Uncle Jack.

“How are you doing with all this baby stuff?” she asked him.

“Alright
. If that’s what gets her through…so be it. Don’t get me wrong-- if the circumstances were different she would be in deep shit. But she’s my baby, Tessa… and she’s going through so much, I can’t be angry with her. I’m just going to have to figure it out alone, just like she will,” He hugged his little girl who was asleep in his arms.

“I’
m going to be here every step of the way, I promise.”

“I know Tessa, I know,” she hugged him and kissed Jade before she left.

They walked out and Ben opened her door and immediately buckled Tessa’s seat belt. He got in and pulled out onto the road. She unbuckled and lifted the console and sat next to him leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Tess come on girl, buc
kle please.”

Cha
pter
9

They pulled into the farm, and he kissed her cheek watching her sleep, he brushed her hair away from her face.
Damn it,
he thought as he closed his eyes and kissed her head again.

“You’re home Tess,” she sat up and felt a lump in her throat.

Her lip started quivering, and she followed him out of the truck. Ben turned and grabbed her hand, and she hugged him and cried. Her brothers, sister, and John walked out. She didn’t let go of Ben. He rubbed her back and answered all their questions.

“Let’s go inside Tess,” Ben whispered.

They went in and sat in the living room. Chewy jumped on her lap and licked her face, she pet him and sat silent for awhile.

“Ben,” she whispered, and he hugged her as she cried more.

“I need a shower,” she walked into the bathroom and grabbed him a towel and washcloth.

She came out and handed it to him, he smiled. “You remember where the other shower is?”

When she was finished she walked out wrapped in a towel. He sat on the couch with her family. Ben looked at her and then closed his eyes and looked down.
She is beautiful,
he thought.

“Are you hungry Tessa?” John asked.

Tessa was in the kitchen and started going through the cupboards.

“No
, but I need to cook, I have to make something for Jade and Tommy’s family, and Ryan and Lucas. We don’t have anything I need.”

She sat down and read over her list. S
he grabbed the Jeep key’s and started out the door.

“Tessa you need to sleep, the kids and I will go get the stuff you need. You go lay down
-- I’ll wake you when I get back. Ben are you staying awhile?” John asked.

“Yes, as long as you guys need,” Ben said watching Tessa from the corner of his eye.

“Good, make sure she sleeps, please. We’ll be back soon,” John and the kids left.

Ben took her hand and pulled her up “Let’s go.”

He grabbed a pillow and set it on the couch, she lay down, and he grabbed a blanket to cover her up.

“Ben, please lay down with me,” she said quietly.

They fell asleep.

Chewy barked and Tessa jumped u
p. Ben sat up and looked at her, “You okay?”

“Y
es Ben, thank you,” she hugged him.

She stood up and went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

She walked out and got busy cooking. Ben helped her. Tessa knew she was falling for him, and she was sure he was falling, too.

“Ben I’
m so glad you’re here.”

“Tess, it’
ll be hard either way,” he hugged her. She started to tear up again. “Come on girl, we have LOTS to do.”

They made Ziti, scalloped po
tatoes, lasagna and chicken casserole.

Tessa’s phone rang
-- it was her mom; they were releasing Jade and Lucas in an hour. It was four o’clock.

She looked at Ben, and he looked at her.

“You’re going to be busy all week
, Tessa. I looked at the calendar and saw your play was this week,” Ben rubbed her cheek

“Oh I can’t do
that, I just can’t,” Tessa began to panic.

Ben kissed her, “Yes
, you can Tess.”

“No
, I can’t,” she yelled and tried to catch her breath.

Ben kissed her again and held her until she relaxed.

“You can do anything Tess; you’ve already been through so much.”

“Three losses in six weeks” she whispered.

He smiled softly, “Then it’s over Tess, they come in threes.”

“I have heard that, no four,
Lucas’s baby…God I can’t do this!” Tessa cried as he held her, “I can’t do this to you.”

“Tess I’
m going to be here if you need me. I know that this is a horrible time for you,” he stopped. He wanted to tell her he was falling in love with her. He wanted to just fucking stay here and help her. He knew that would be making her dependent on him, making her feel like she needed him and he wouldn’t do to her what he saw her and Lucas do to each other. It wasn’t right, and as badly as he wanted her, he knew that she was easily going to fall back into old habits. He just had to believe that she would figure it out for herself. Tessa was stubborn and him pointing that all out would just cause upset, and she’d already had enough of that.
She will figure it out
.

The timer went off, and she jumped. Ben helped her get the food out and covered.

“Hey girl I have to go soon. You’re going to be okay,” Ben hugged her.

She took a deep breath and looked at him.
“If you say so.”

“Oh wow
, now she listens,” Ben smiled.

She helped him get his stuff into the truck. He hugged her and kissed her face.

“I’ll see you Thursday night Tessa,” he smiled.

“Okay…
for what did I miss something?”

“Opening night.”

“Oh Ben that’s a long drive for an hour and a half,” Tessa shook her head no.

“To watch you sing on stage, it’l
l be well worth it.”

“Please
drive safe Ben,” she said sadly, “Please.”

He hugged her and kissed her again. “I will I promise.”

~

Tessa and Alex got the food in the Jeep and went to Tommy’s first. They knocked on the door, and his mother answered.

“Hi, we just wanted to drop this off for you and your family,” Alex handed her the dishes.

“Thank you,” she wiped her eyes. “We’
re meeting with the funeral director in the morning, and after we thought maybe you would all like to come over and help us finalize the plans.”

“Of course,” Tessa
hugged her.

They drove to
Lucas’s and he and his mother pulled in beside them. Alex got out and opened the door for Lucas.

“Hey Alex,”
Lucas got out of the car smirking, he was obviously high on pain meds, “Hey Baby,” he smiled, “Oh shit I mean Tessa, your boyfriend still around?” he asked acting pissy.

“No
, Lucas,” she looked at him full of guilt.

“Hel
lo Tessa,” his mother stepped between them, “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”

She carried the food in the house, and Alex helped
Lucas stumble in.

Tessa followed them into the living room, with a plate of food.

“Here Lucas, you should eat,” she said softly.

“And you should stop looking at me like you feel sorry
for me Tessa, it pisses me off!”

“I’m sorry
Lucas I just thought you might be hungry,” she sat it down and turned and walked out of the room.

“
Lucas, she’s just being nice.” Alex said.