Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) (15 page)

With his eyes still close, he smiles. “Good morning baby.”

“Morning, Connor.” I smile, kissing his cheek. It’s almost seven in the morning and Connor needs to be at the office by eight for a meeting. “Come on, sleepy head. Get up!”

Groaning, he slides his arm around my waist and brings me closer to his body. “Just a few more minutes.” Turning my body to face his, our lips meet and our morning starts with some amazing, sweet love.

Pulling into my spot at the real estate office, I check my make-up before getting out of the car. Satisfied with my look, I open the door and head inside. My cell phone rings from my purse, “Good morning Soph.”

“Are you working today?”

“Yeah, honey, I am. I have a few houses to show today, and I have to look at some more houses for Vander. What’s going on?”

Sophia groans into the phone
. “Nothing. Just bored. I think I’m going to head over to Café Lisa, if you want to meet me?”

Sipping on my coffee and getting situated at my desk,
I look through my appointments for today. “How does noon sound?”

“Yay, okay good. I’ll see you then.”

“Ok, love you girl.”

“You
, too.”

Hanging up with Sophia, my email alerts pop up.

Erin,

Can you look at these houses and let me know what you think? I love the lay out and the basement but something’s missing. Let me know your thoughts.

Talk soon,

Vander.

Pulling up the houses, I look and write down some details. The house is beautiful. It’s a three-story colonial style house with the porch wrapping around. The light beige shutters look beautiful against the dark beige exterior. There’s a balcony overlooking the front yard and the backyard is finished with a pool house and an in ground pool. After clicking around and doing some research on the house, I go into my manager’s office to discuss the house.

Knocking on the
door, I notice he’s at his computer and not on the phone. “Morning, Albert,” I say in my singsong girly voice. He knows he can’t say no to me.

“Erin, good morning. Please have a seat.” He turns to face me away from his computer and smiles from ear to ear. I wonder what he’s so happy about. “What’s going on?”

Crossing my legs and getting comfortable in the chair, I look Albert in the eyes and smile back at him. “I have a client interested in this house.” Handing him the paper with my notes I know this will be an easy go ahead.

Scratching his chin and reading through, his brows shoot up. “You do know there are about five offers on this house, right?”

Shrugging my shoulders and leaning in to talk to Albert. “I’m confident I can get this house, Albert. My client is very, very interested. Trust me.” Leaning back in the chair, I patiently wait for his response.

Albert’s smile grows as he wags his finger to me.
“Alright, all star, go, and get this deal.”

Standing up, without showing my obvious excitement, I shake Albert’s hand and walk out of his office. With a Cheshire cat smile on my face, I head back to my desk and call Vander. The phone rings a few times before he answers.

“Erin, babe, please tell me you have good news?”

“Duh, Vander. Now we have to work hard on getting this house. There’s like five offers on this house
, and the owners aren’t budging so how much are you willing to put down on this house.”

“Double what they’re asking. I want this house
, Erin.”

“Alright, meet me there in ten!” I finish writing down some notes so I don’t forget
anything and grab my purse to meet Vander.

The drive is light
, and I get to the house rather quickly. When I park my car, Vander pulls in behind me. He gets out of his car, and he is wearing dark jeans with a green sweater with a white polo underneath. Damn, for a gay guy he is so hot. “Ready?”

“Oh
, yes, I am.” Vander takes my hand and we go into the house.

Sitting at Café Lisa with Vander and Sophia feels great. We’re laughing and celebrating my biggest sale since becoming a real estate agent
, and Vander’s new house. Albert told me to take the rest of the day off, and I’m sure to follow my manger’s directions. We talk about the house and how exciting it is that Vander will be staying here permanently. His arm is resting on the back of my chair, and I don’t think anything of it. He’s very touchy with Sophia and me, but we don’t say anything since he’s gay, so we know there’s nothing to worry about.

“Erin, how are you feeling? When’s your appointment?” Sophia asks, eating her turkey club sandwich and fries. She dips her fries in mayo and I make a face. “Hey! Don’t mock it until you’ve tried it! It’s so good!” Vander likes it!

Vander takes some fries and dips them in mayo, too. “Ugh, you guys are so disgusting. Anyway, yes, I’m okay! Doc appointment is next week.” I rub my stomach and wonder if we’re going to have a boy or a girl. I secretly want a boy. A little boy with Connor’s beautiful eyes and his intelligence. I let out a blissful sigh and lean back in my chair.

Out of nowhere, Sophia drops her fries and her mouth hangs open. “Soph?” Her eyes grow wide
, and I wonder what she’s looking at. Vander and I turn around, and suddenly I feel my world rock. How can Connor do this to me? The tears threaten my eyes, and my heart beats a million beats a second. Vander holds my shoulders, but I push him away and get up from the table. Marching over to my idiot
fiancé
and his whore, my fists are clench at my side, and I’m ready to raise hell. “Connor! What the fuck?”

His eyes open and he lets go of Olivia. She turns around and smiles at me.
Why is this bitch smiling at me? This isn’t a fucking social call
. “Erin, it’s so good to see you.”

Everything in me screams to punch this bitch in the face and break that ugly fake nose. “Bitch, get your STD infested hands off my fiancé and back the fuck up.” I push her away and get in Connor’s face. “How could you?” He’s speechless and doesn’t answer me. “Oh
, no, you asshole! Tell me now! Why are you with Olivia?”

“Baby, it’s not what you think! Olivia and I have things to
discuss, and we were just saying bye. Please don’t get upset” Connor’s hands hold my waist, but I can’t have him touching me.

“No, what the hell is going on?” Feeling dizzy, I shake my head and refuse to back down. I need to know what’s going on and why they’re meeting. Doesn’t Connor know what a conniving bitch Olivia is and how she tried to sleep with Adam? How could he be this stupid? What’s so important that they need to meet behind my back? “I’m not upset, just disappointed
, Connor.” He winces at my words, and I start to feel bad, but he fucking knows better than to do this to me. “So tell me why you’re with her!”

Connor walks closer to me but I don’t move
. I hold my ground. “Baby, stop, please. I’m not doing anything, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was meeting Olivia.” Connor looks at me with pleading eyes. His breathing is erratic, and he’s feeling nervous just as I am. “Can we talk later, please?”

“No! I don’t give a shit who can hear me. You have explaining to do
, so talk, Connor, because this isn’t making sense to me!”

Olivia stares at me
, and I’m trying to figure her out. What is she doing here?

“Please, baby, just calm down, and listen to me.”

“I don’t think so. You tell me right now Connor or I’m leaving you!”

“Erin,” Olivia starts to talk. I want to scream at her and tell her to shut the hell up
, but I’m interested to hear what she has to say. “I’m sorry that you’re upset but Connor’s been helping me. There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Okay
, so why are you two meeting, and why am I just finding out?” I try to calm down but inner bitch is coming out. Connor knows better than this. We don’t hide anything from each other. I try to calm down.

Think about the baby, Costella. Just keep breathing. There’s
an explanation for everything. Deep breaths. One. Two. Three.

Connor steps away from Olivia and walks back to me. “Please, we can talk about this tonight. I don’t need you to be upset right now.” He states, touching my stomach. I try
to calm down but I can’t shake off a bad feeling.

“What’s she talking about
, Connor?” Before Olivia can answer, he turns and looks at her to make her stop talking. I push Connor away and walk back to Olivia. “Speak, now!”

Olivia looks at me and starts talking
. “Connor and I slept together, and I got pregnant.” She pauses and looks at Connor then back at me. “I had a miscarriage, and Connor’s been helping me since then.”

The world beneath me shakes and crumbles. The deception and lies from the man I love. The father of my child and my soon-to-be-husband. I fight back the tears
, and I won’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they’re breaking me into a million pieces. How can he keep this from me? I look at Connor and Olivia, my mind is racing with questions, and I want answers. “Listen, I’m sorry this happened but Olivia,” I pull Connor to my side. “Connor and I are getting married, and we have a baby on the way, so you need to leave.”

Olivia looks at us then back down to the ground. “I didn’t mean to cause all this trouble
, and I’m sorry about what I said. Connor, don’t worry about paying me, and Erin,” she reaches out for my hand but stops. "I’m just really sorry.” Without saying anything else, she turns around and walks away from Connor and me.

“What does she mean? Paying her?”

Connor looks away from me. “I’ve been giving her money to help her. She can’t find a job and is depressed over the miscarriage.”

“It’s not your job to pay her
, Connor.” I step away from him, slowly breathing in and out. “I’m sorry that you and Olivia went through this, but you’re with me now, Connor. You need to put me and our baby before her.” I look at Connor again and see how sorry he is, but I’m still upset with him. I need time away from him, so I squeeze his hand and walk back to Vander and Sophia. They meet me halfway and Vander can’t stop staring at Connor.

“Come on
, girl. Let’s get you out of here.” Vander puts his arm around me and Sophia holds my hand. 

We get in Vander’s car and he drives away. I look out the window and refuse to cry over this. “I don’t get it,” I start to say
. “Why is she coming around?” Vander and Sophia look at each other, not knowing what to say. I don’t even know what to say. “I mean, I’m his freaking fiancée, you’d think he’d tell me.”

“I know
, honey, but, maybe he feels like he can just handle it without telling you. Connor loves you so much. You know that, right?”

“Sophia’s right
, baby girl. Connor doesn’t want to stress you out. You have your little prince or princess to worry about,” Vander adds in.

“I get it, I
do, but I mean come on you guys. It’s Olivia! Soph, you remember the shit she stirred with you and Adam!”

“I know
, Erin, but we forgive and forget. It wasn’t too big of a deal. Maybe you should talk to her? Try to understand what’s going on since you’re mad at Connor. You can’t really blame Olivia, maybe she didn’t know?”

Sitting back in the car, I think about what Sophia
is saying. She’s right. Maybe Olivia didn’t know Connor and I are together. There’s fear creeping inside me and thoughts about what’s going on with Connor. Why didn’t he tell me? I feel betrayed. He knows everything about me and yet, I’m still in the dark with his life. My phone starts vibrating. I pick it up to see who’s calling and see Connor’s name flashing. I press ignore and toss my phone back into my purse. The cool air travels through the car but cold sweat runs across my forehead. My heart is beating fast and my breathing quickens. The stress of finding out about Olivia and Connor is killing me. Pain hits my side and it feels as though my body is going through a vice grip.

“Oh no,” I whisper
. “No.” Sophia turns around and her eyes widen.

“Vander! Drive to the hospital! NOW!”

Quickly, Vander makes a U-turn and drives to the hospital. The pain is getting worse and I keel over trying to catch my breath. I need Connor and my heartaches for him. No more fighting or being upset with him. We have to make this work, not only for us but also for our baby. Tears run down my face, and I try to remain calm but everything starts to become a blur, and I feel lightheaded. “Sophia. Call. Connor.” The cramps are more frequent and jabbing at my sides. Vander pulls into the emergency room parking lot and rushes out of the car. Sophia holds my hand, and we wait for Vander to come back with a wheelchair.

“You’ll be alright
, Erin. Stay with me, please.” Sophia cries. Sophia and Vander rush me inside and a nurse quickly brings me back in. She asks me questions—how I’m doing? How long has the pain been occurring? When did the pain start? I try answering as specific as possible, but my mind can’t stop thinking about what’s going on and how much pain I’m in. I need Connor.

Connor

She’s gone. I let her go without saying anything. What kind of man am I?

Watching Erin walk away from me breaks me, but I’m the fool who never told her about my past with Olivia. I stand there like a broken man and watch the love of my life walk away. I want to run to her and tell her how sorry I am, but I know she needs time to think about things, and she deserves that time. She can’t leave me though, and I’ll fight for her until the day I die. I hope she’s going home, so I decide to run to the florist and buy flowers and a teddy bear to try to make things better. After making my purchase, I leave the shop and check my phone. No messages or calls. 

Getting in my car, I pull out into traffic and head back home, hoping she’s there. I get back in
record time and run inside. “Erin!”

Silence.

There’s no one home. Sitting on the ground, I hold my head and feel the tears coming down. Her face plays through my mind and everything starts falling apart in front of me. Erin isn’t going to forgive me, and she’s going through the pregnancy alone. Why didn’t I tell her about my past? Hitting my head against the wall, my body grows numb. Everything slips through my fingers. I can’t be in love or do anything right. Erin’s my world, and without her, what’s the point? I get up from the ground and try calling her again. It rings six times before going to voicemail.

“Hi, you’ve reached Erin!
Sorry that I missed your call, but leave me something sweet and I’ll get back to ya!”

“Erin, baby. Please answer or call me back. I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you about Olivia
, but baby, I was scared. Please call me or something. Let me know that you’re okay. Please.” I walk up the stairs and go into our bedroom. Her vanilla scent fills our room. I love how she smells. My face goes diving first into our bed. Wrapping my head around the fucked up day makes me nauseous, and I’m ready to tear the room apart.

I toss my phone on the kitchen
counter, go to the liquor cabinet, and pull out a bottle of scotch. Pouring the dark brown liquid in a glass and tossing it back, the liquid burns my throat and I want more. I pour a few more glasses and bring the bottle to the deck. The suns out and it’s cool outside but I don’t give a shit. Messing up with Erin is the last thing I want to do. The image of her broken heart flashes through my mind. I can’t get rid of it. I bring the bottle to my lips and drink more. The pain in my heart and chest build and the lump in the back of my throat.

She’s the best thing that’s happened to me. She completes me and makes me brave
, but I’m blind. Erin doesn’t deserve this, and I should’ve told her. I keep drinking to try to block out the pain but there’s no use. It feels like hours that I’ve been out here. Getting up from the chair, I walk back inside and leave the empty bottle of scotch on the counter. I look at the time and it’s nearly five in the afternoon. “Shit,” I mutter. Picking up my phone, I see that I have fifteen missed calls and ten messages. “Oh no! NO!” I read my messages from Adam and Sophia asking where I am and to come to the hospital. “Shit!” I know I’m in no condition to drive so I call Steven to see if he can come get me. He lets me know he’ll be here in five minutes. I run to the bathroom, brush my teeth and splash water on my face.

Fuck!

I can’t be drunk when I go see Erin.

“Oh, no,” I yell. I click on Sophia’s number and call her. She
answers on the second ring, “What happened?” My head starts pounding.

“Connor
, get to the hospital now,” she cries. “Please, just hurry.”

The five minutes go by slowly as I’m pacing the front porch waiting for Steven. When he pulls up to the side of the house, I run as fast as I can to get to him. I open the passenger door and jump in. “Hospital, now! Please
, Steven.”

“Okay, Connor.” He looks at me through the rear view mirror and tosses me back a bottle of water. “Drink this, son. You look like shit.”

Twisting off the bottle cap, I bring the water bottle to my lips and let the cold water go down my throat. Steven drives fast to the hospital. It’s as if he knows what’s going on without me telling him. The lump of sickness is in the back of my throat. Something tells me that it’s going to get worse before things get better. I’m a fool, simple as that. Erin keeps giving me chances, and I mess up every single time. I keep telling myself that I’ll be better, and I’ll put her first but I always seem to forget about her and put her last. I blink away the tears and lean my head back.

“Please
, God,” I whisper, “Please don’t take Erin or our baby away.”

“Connor, have faith. It’ll be
all right. I know it.”

“I don’t know
, Steven. I fucked up, and now Erin’s in the hospital.”

“You and Erin are two souls that have a strong and unbreakable bond. She loves you, son. Just like you love her. True love conquers all and I know it’s hard to believe now
, but you’ll see.”

His words hit me.

Hard.

I feel little.

I feel like my world is falling apart.

I pray that Erin’s okay.

I pray that our baby is okay.

We get to the hospital and I run inside asking where Erin is. Adam’s in the waiting room with his arms on his knees, looking down at the ground. “Adam!”

He gets up and walks over to me. “Come on, man. Erin’s waiting for you.”

We go through the white automatic double doors
, and I follow Adam to get to Erin. When I walk in, Erin’s lying on her side and Sophia’s sitting by her side, holding her hand. There are wires all over and machines beeping. I look around the small room and let out a breath of relief.

“Erin?” Erin and Sophia look at me
, and I walk over to her and kiss the top of her head. I hope she can forgive me and that we’re okay. I can’t lose her or the baby. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, kissing her head and touching her face.

“No more lies,” Erin softly says
. “We’re supposed to be in this together, and I don’t want any more surprises, okay?” I nod my head. “Everything’s fine, babe. Just the doctors want me to rest more, and no more stress.”

Thank God. Hearing that she’s okay and the baby is fine takes a weight off my shoulders. The guilt consumes me
, and she’s right, no more lies. I can’t lie to her anymore or keep things from her. I don’t know how much she wants to know, but I’m willing to tell her everything so that this never happens again.

The doctor and nurse come in to see us. They explain that the stress needs to be maintained
, and they want to keep Erin overnight. They did more tests, and the baby’s fine and healthy, so that’s good but Erin needs to stay in bed for a few weeks. We thank the doctor and nurse, and I get situated on the couch.

“We’re going to head home but call us if you need anything,” Adam says, hugging Erin and holding Sophia.

“Sounds good, I’ll walk you two out.” I kiss Erin on the forehead. “I’ll be back, baby.”

“Thanks
, everyone,” she tiredly says before drifting off to sleep.

We walk out of the room and Sophia turns to look at me. There’s hate and fear in her eyes
, and I’m scared as shit to hear what she has to say.

“You should be ashamed
...” Sophia’s voice trails off when Adam looks at her again.

“Pretty girl, stop. Please?”

“Ugh, whatever.”

“Pretty girl,” Adam says again, taking her hand in his. “Alright
, so what happened?”

“Olivia and I had a
one-night stand. She got pregnant then had a miscarriage. I helped her out a little bit and then she got fired, so I kept giving her three thousand a month but then she asked for five thousand, and if I didn’t agree she was going to the press about it. I thought giving her the money would keep her happy and save the company’s rep. We have the Cali deal, Adam.”

“Before or after she tried stealing Adam?!”

“Sophia!” Adam looks at her again but his look doesn’t faze her this time.

“I don’t care
, Adam! I want to know!”

“Before. We didn’t want anyone knowing about what happened.”
No matter how many times I say it or how many times I think I did the right thing, I know that I didn’t. I should’ve been honest with everyone and tried to get help before this all blew up in my face. Erin’s right, how could I do this to us?

“It’s the past man. She’s going to forgive you. You just need to give her time
, ya know?” Adam says reassuringly, but a part of me knows how Erin can hold a grudge for a while. Being around my two best friends usually helps me put things in perspective but right now, all I want is to make sure Erin’s okay.

Sophia comes over to give me a hug
. “No more secrets, Connor.”

I squeeze her tight and nod my head yes. Walking back to Erin’s room, I take a deep breath and go inside. I smile looking at her and how peaceful she looks. I sit down next to her and before she says anything, she’s in my arms and I’m holding onto her as if she would leave again. I feel her heart beating fast against my chest. Her breathing is growing faster as she rests her head on my chest.

“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Olivia. I’m sorry for lying and I’m sorry for giving her money. I didn’t know what else to do, and I wanted to protect the company and you. When you left, it broke me.” I take another deep breath and try to not sound like a little bitch. “Just tell me you forgive me because I can’t lose you or baby.”

“Love’s a fight
, Connor, but a good fight. We’re in this war together and breaking up isn’t an option.” Erin’s soothing words trickle into me. She forgives me and we’re not breaking up. She’s staying in my life, and we’re going to have the ending we both want.

“How’d I get lucky to have you in my life?”

Erin kisses the tip of my nose and cradles my face. “I’m the lucky one.”

The next day, Erin
is released and we head home. I text Aly and have her schedule a massage therapist to meet at the house in an hour. I want Erin to be fully relaxed and to stop stressing. This is the second time she’s been in the hospital and each time it takes a piece of me. I hate myself, and what I did to her. If only I could’ve been honest from the start. Erin looks at me and smiles. “Stop blaming yourself. I understand why you kept it from me.”

“I’m so sorry
, baby. I really am. It kills me when I have to see you in the hospital.” She doesn’t say anything, instead she squeezes my hand, and we drive in silence. When we pull into the driveway, I help Erin out of the car and into the house. Once she’s all settled in the living room, I have food ordered from Zedd’s and pull out my laptop to check my emails. When the doorbell rings, I get up and answer the door.

“Hi, Mr. Simpson,” the older lady states, carrying a large bag
. “Aly called me and told me to come over. I’m Heidi.”

“Nice to meet you, Heidi. Call me Connor. Come in and I’ll bring you to the living room and you can meet my fiancé
e, Erin.”

Heidi and I walk over to Erin and she looks up with a confused look on her face. “Connor?”

“Baby, this is Heidi. She’s here to give you a massage.” Erin’s eyes go wide and she runs over to me.

“Thank you so much, Connor!”

“Go enjoy it, babe.” I kiss her forehead and leave so she can finally relax.

Two hours later
, and I’m finally done working for the night. Things have been quiet, and it’s nice to work from home, and knowing Erin’s okay. I get up from my computer chair, stretch my arms, and head out to the living room. Heidi comes walking my way. “How’d everything go?”

“She’s nice and relaxed
.” She nods her head to the direction of the living room. “Knocked out, so be gentle,” she laughs.

I pull out my wallet and hand her three hundred dollars
. “Thanks again for coming on short notice and making Erin feel better. I’ll have Aly call you again.”

“Thanks, Connor. Have a nice night.”

“You as well.”

I walk Heidi out and lock the door after watching her get into her car. I turn on the porch light and set the alarm. Walking back to Erin, I scoop her in my arms as she rests her
head on my chest, mumbling how much she loves me. She wraps her arms around my neck and slowly starts to wake up.

“Babe, you’re the best.”

“Anything for you.”

When we get to the room, Erin gets under the covers and lies on her side. She pats my side of the bed and motions for me to come over to her. The heat from Erin’s face presses against my face. I look into her eyes and see her wide desire and want. Her heart beats faster on my chest as I take my time to touch and admire every part of her body. The sexual tension in the air looms over our heads. “Baby, you’re driving me crazy
.” I struggle to say with pain in my voice. “We can’t do anything. Your doctor wants you to rest.”

Erin’s sexy smile makes my dick jump in my pants. I can’t stand not being inside of her and feeling her come while screaming my name. Her smile is my undoing
—Erin’s my lifeline and without her, what’s the point of going on?