Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) (16 page)

Slowly, she gets out of bed and my embrace. Standing in front of me, she starts to take off her sweater and jeans. My own private show. “Damn
, Erin.” I slide off the bed and pull her to me. She’s standing in front of me in her lacey purple bra and thong. My lips touch her bare shoulder and her intoxicating kiss makes me growl and want more. I swiftly pick her up and lay her down on our bed. Taking my time, I kiss every inch of her body and greedily take off her bra and thong.

“You’re so beautiful
, baby,” I whisper, kissing her on the lips. “I love you so much.”

“Connor
, I love you, too. Doctor Benson said it’s okay if we have sex. I asked her after my massage. She just doesn’t want me working. So if you don’t get inside of me, I’m going to be so mad!”

How can I say no and make her wait? I take off my clothes and slide into Erin without hesitation. My hands are gripping her hips as I slide in and out of her wetness.

“Yes! Connor! Oh my God! Harder, please.”

Our eyes meet and the desire in her eyes
keeps me going. The passion is growing as Erin clutches herself around me. Pumping in and out of Erin, her body starts shaking and she closes her eyes. “Erin, keep your eyes open. I want to see you come.” Slowly her eyes open, licking her lips and wrapping her legs tighter around my waist. “I’m about to come!”

“Fuck, Connor.”

In seconds, I release myself in her as she screams out my name a few times along with some other interesting words. “Sex God, huh?” I laugh, lying down next to her.

“Shut up!” Erin gets up to use the bathroom before coming to bed. Once she’s all set, she comes back and slides under the covers next to me. Resting her head on my bare chest, her fingers entwine with mine and she lets out a soft sigh.

“What’s wrong?” I kiss the top of her head and twirl a strand of her hair in my fingers.

“Nothing. You just make me so happy
, Connor.”

“You’ll never know how much you mean to me
, Erin. You’re my life, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You and this baby are my world, and I’ll do everything and anything to make sure you are both safe and happy.”

Bringing Erin closer to me, I give her a soft kiss on her lips and we both fall asleep.

Erin

I’ve been home for a few days since being in the hospital.
Things are better between us, and the baby is doing good, too. Doctor Benson is nervous with my stress and blood pressure, so I’m taking it easy and making sure no one or anything gives me stress. The pregnancy is going well besides being in the hospital, but I’m hardly getting sick and baby’s heartbeat is still strong and well.

I’m in Connor’s arms
, and he’s still fast asleep. I touch my stomach and whisper good morning to my precious baby.

“Still sleepy, baby?” I ask my small bump, wondering how baby is doing. Not a lot of activity throughout the night, which is good so I can sleep without being kicked. “I hope you’re okay
, sweetie. God, I can’t wait to meet you. Do you know how many people can’t wait to meet you? Your daddy is so happy, and I promise that mommy will be better. No more stress. I’m so sorry, baby.” A tear falls from my eye, and I think about being in the hospital and all the pain. Our baby needs to be first, and I need to slow down with my life. “I promise you I’ll be better, okay?” I make a heart shape over my small bump and tell baby how much he/she means to me.

I look at Connor and watch his chest rise and fall with each breath. He truly is the most beautiful man ever. I let out a sigh and crawl out of bed. I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. The sun is slowly rising
, and I take the opportunity to stand outside and take it all in. I feel better—as if a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I close my eyes and say a quiet prayer. Praying that our relationship won’t hit any more bumps. The doorbell rings, taking me out of my spaced out mind. The bell rings again, and when I open the door and see Vander is on the other side with three cups of coffee and a brown bag.

“Morning
, baby doll.”

“Morning. Come in.” I look inside the bag to try
to see what he has.

“Where’s that beautiful man of yours?” Vander asks looking around the room.

I laugh and loop my arm through his. “He’s still sleeping. What are you doing here so early?

“Don’t you have papers for me to sign?”

“Oh, yeah.” Running to my desk in my office, I grab the stacks of paper and meet Vander in the kitchen. There are muffins and bagels spread on a plate on the kitchen table with coffee and juice. “Vander! Oh my gosh, thank you!”

Vander strolls over and puts his arm around me. He kisses the side of my head and looks proud of what he’s done. “Anytime, alright
, let’s get this thing started!” My stomach growls and Vander starts laughing.

We sit down at the table and talk more about the house and his plans with Curtis. Everything is going really well for Vander
, and I’m happy for him. We’ve gotten close over the last few weeks, and I love having him around. He smiles and laughs when he talks about Curtis and their dates.

“I’m glad you’re happy
, honey.”

Vander takes my hand and smiles.
“Me, too, baby doll.”

We finish eating
, and Vander leaves to head to the hospital. I go back upstairs and see an empty bed but the shower isn’t running. I call out for Connor and don’t hear his response. I walk out of our bedroom and toward the nursery. Connor’s standing in the middle of the room and looking out the window. He’s wearing charcoal gray pants and a dark blue button down shirt. Quietly, I walk toward him and wrap my arms around his waist.

“I can’t wait to see you in here holding our baby.” Connor’s hands lace through mine as we stand in the nursery thinking about our future. He kneels down and kisses my round belly. “Hi
, baby. We can’t wait to meet you. Be good for us, huh?” I start laughing as Connor kisses my belly and I feel his smile.

“You’re going to be such a great dad, Connor.”

“And you’ll be an amazing mom, baby.” We share a passionate kiss and all the stress and unhappiness leaves my body. I love how Connor makes me feel. He knows how to make me smile and make my heart race. I love this man, and I don’t know how I could ever live without him.

We go through the motions of the morning and Connor heads out to go to work. He gives me a million more kisses and tells me to be good and have fun.

I pull out my phone and text Sophia to see what she’s up to.

Me: I need a girl’s day!

Sophia: OMG same here! I’ll have Steven come pick you up and we’ll go shopping and do lunch!

Me: Sounds good!

I run upstairs and get ready. Today is definitely a yoga pants kind of day because, hello—being bloated! In a few minutes, Steven calls me to let me know he’s in the driveway. I grab my wristlet and head out the door.

“Thanks
, Steven!”

“Anytime
, Ms. Costella.” Steven looks at me, smiling.

“Erin! Call me Erin, Steven!” We both laugh and he drives to Sophia’s
house. She comes out of her house, smiling and ready. She gets in the car and we both hug and start laughing and talking.

“How are you feeling
?” she asks.

“A lot better. The doctors want me to stay in bed and rest.
No stress.”

“Well, shopping and being with your best friend is the cure for it all!” We both laugh again and talk about what’s been happening in our lives. I love that Sophia’s here with me
, and I can tell her everything. She listens, gives me advice, and tells me everything that I need to hear.

Steven drops us off at the mall and we take our time through the stores. There are so many cute baby clothes
, but since neither of us knows if we’re having a boy or a girl, we look for clothes for us. Since Sophia and I aren’t really showing, we can get away with buying clothes a size or two bigger than what we normally wear. The mall is crowded, but it’s fun being here with Sophia.

We’re at Sephora looking at the new makeup and hair products when I suddenly feel someone tapping my shoulder. I look over
, and my smile quickly fades away. What the hell is she doing here? Before I say anything else, I think about baby and keep my stress down. I tug on Sophia’s arm, and she looks at me, and then Olivia.

“Oh shit,” she mutters, pulling me back.

“Erin, Sophia, can we talk?” Olivia asks her voice full of fear. She doesn’t look at us but stares at the ground.

“I think that’s a good idea, Olivia. Come on
. Let’s go get some smoothies at Starbucks.” We all walk out of the store and head to Starbucks. It’s uncomfortable, but I think it’ll be good to talk to her and understand what’s going on.

Sophia gets in line while Olivia and I find a table to sit at. We find an empty table and take a seat.

“So you’re probably wondering why I’m here, huh?”

“Kind of. I don’t know why we’re here
, but I think finding out what’s going on between you and Connor is good to know.”

“Erin, there’s nothing going on between us. I mean, yeah
, I wanted him, but I’m over him and just want to move on. Connor’s been helping me since I lost the baby and lost my job. It’s been hard, Erin.” Olivia plays with her hands and doesn’t look at me. I can tell she’s getting emotional, and I start to break down my walls with her. “I don’t have anyone, and Connor is the first person to show me friendship, and I took advantage. I’m really sorry, Erin.”

Sophia comes back with our drinks and sits down next to me. We drink our drinks
, and I think about what I want to say to Olivia. I feel bad for her, I do. I know what it’s like to feel alone and as if no one cares.

“I’m sorry about what you went through
, Olivia, but you have to understand, Connor can’t help you with money anymore, and you can’t just threaten him with the company. Optimax means a lot to him, and he’ll do anything to protect the company and the reputation.” Sophia looks at me but doesn’t say anything.

“I know that now
, and I’m sorry. I was in a really bad place for a while, and I didn’t know what to do. It was so hard, Erin. I’ve tried finding a job, but there was nothing out here, and I can’t go back to Optimax.” Olivia looks at Sophia and gives her a small smile. “But I met someone and he’s really great. His name is Jason, and he has been helping me with everything. He got me a job selling makeup, and I’m really good at it! I just wanted to say sorry to the both of you,” she pauses and takes a drink of her smoothie.

“That’s great that you met someone, Olivia
, and I’m glad that you’re moving on. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you lost your baby.” Sophia nods her head and looks at me. I know that look and I hate her for suggesting this, but she’s right, Olivia needs friends. “You can come to us if you need anything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Olivia. We’re sorry about everything, but I think we’re all old enough to put the past behind us,” Sophia says.

Ugh, I hope we’re doing the right thing and this isn’t going
to bite us in the ass.

* * * * *

The next few weeks go by, and it’s finally the day we find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. Connor’s pacing the office room, and I’m looking through a magazine. Peeking over the pages, I can’t help but laugh. He’s a nervous wreck, walking back and forth in the room with his eyes on the ground.

“Babe, stop. Come sit down and relax with me. You’re making me nervous.”

“I’m sorry.” Connor sits down on the stool next to me and strokes my hand. I look at him and imagine a little boy with his eyes and heart. I close my eyes and think about how lucky we are, and in just a few minutes, we’ll know.

Doctor Benson comes into the room and asks us how we’re doing. She can tell we’re nervous by how fast we’re talking. She turns on the monitor and rubs the cool gel on my stomach. She rubs the tool over my belly and the image of baby comes up on the monitor. Our baby’s heartbeat is steady
, and we can’t take our eyes off him or her.

“Alright. So you’re at about twenty weeks, which is good. The baby looks good. Are you ready?” Doctor Benson looks at us
, but we’re not sure what to say. She lets out a soft laugh. “Congratulations, it’s a girl.”

             
We stare at the monitor in awe. This is the best news ever, hearing that our baby girl is healthy and growing fast. I touch the screen and tears come down my cheeks. We’re going to meet our princess soon, and I can’t wait until the day comes that I can hold her in my arms and tell her how much we love her. The overwhelming feelings of happiness and love spread through my body. Connor grabs my hand and holds it as we listen to our daughter’s heartbeat.

             
“Wow, I can’t believe she’s there,” Connor says, staring at the monitor. “Can we get pictures, please?”

             
“Of course, Connor,” Doctor Benson replies.