Niubi! (20 page)

 

晒黑族
shaìhēi zú
(
shy hay dzoo
)

Literally “those who expose injustice.” It refers to people on the Chinese mainland who use the Internet to help expose or publicize injustice: for example by mass blogging about an incident on many different Web servers in order to overcome possible online censorship. Every Web host seems to have different censoring criteria, and thus something that gets blocked or deleted on one host server may not get censored on another.

 

别太 CNN
bié tài CNN
(
byih tie CNN
)

Literally “don’t be too CNN,” meaning don’t lie or distort the truth. When antigovernment rioting broke out in Lhasa in 2008, a perceived pro-Tibet, anti-China bias in Western media coverage provoked a rising tide of nationalism and anger among many Chinese. Someone started a Web site called
Anti-CNN.com
, with the slogan “Don’t be too CNN!” and dedicated to showing examples of truth distortion in the Western media’s China reporting. For example, one of the most hotly disputed photos, taken from the CNN Web site, portrayed two Tibetan men running away from Chinese military trucks rumbling ominously into town, but Anti-CNN posted the uncropped version of the photo that showed a group of Tibetan rioters throwing stones at the vehicles. Anger about media bias centers on CNN in particular because not long after the riots the CNN commentator Jack Cafferty outraged the public by referring to the Chinese as “a bunch of goons and thugs” during an on-air discussion about Chinese imports to the United States. Several (extremely dirty, profanity-filled) Chinese rap songs about the evils of “being too CNN” are also circulating on the Internet.

 

树洞贴
shù dòng tiē
(
shoo dohng tyih
)

Literally “tree-hole post.” The Wong Kar Wai movie
In the Mood for Love
closes with the protagonist traveling to the remains of an ancient temple in Cambodia, finding a small hole among the ruins, and whispering into it. The scene is based on a (perhaps made-up) saying that in the past, people would find a small hole in a tree, hide a secret in it, and then seal the hole with mud, to be kept hidden forever. In online parlance,
shù dòng tiē
refers to a popular trend of posting secrets anonymously on the Internet—anything ranging from one’s salary to marital problems and beyond. People who do this are called 晒密族
shaìmì zú
(
shy me dzoo
), literally “secret revealers,” or 晒客族
shaìkè zú
, literally “information exhibitionists.”

 

我出来打酱油的
wǒ chūlaí dǎ jiàngyóu de
(
wuh choo lie dah jyung yo duh
)

Literally, “I’m just out buying soy sauce.” This phrase, along with “soy sauce guy,” swept the Chinese Internet by storm thanks to a widely viewed Guangzhou TV news clip of a reporter asking an average man on the street his opinion of the latest celebrity scandal. The man famously replied “关我屌事, 我出来打酱油的” “
Guān wǒ diǎo shì
,
wǒ chūlai dǎ jiàngyóu de
” (
gwun wuh dyow shih
,
wuh choo lie dah jyung yo duh
)—“I don’t give a shit, I’m just out buying soy sauce.” Internet users have taken up the phrase “buying soy sauce” as a cynical euphemism for “It’s none of my business” or “Who gives a fuck?” On the Chinese version of Facebook and other popular sites, one now commonly finds, among the possible answers to online polls, “I’m just buying soy sauce.”

 

酱油男
jiàngyóu nán
(
jahng yo nahn
)

Soy sauce guy. Indicating someone who ignores stupid shit.

 

很黄,很暴力
hěn huáng, hěn bàolì
(
hun hwahng, hun baow lee
)

Literally “very yellow [pornographic], very violent.” This phrase became all the rage because of a news broadcast on CCTV (China Central Television, which is state owned and thus considered a government tool) about government regulation of the Internet. A thirteen-year-old girl being interviewed about her impression of the Internet used the phrase to describe what she had ostensibly seen online. Chinese Internet users have mockingly taken up the phrase and now use it in all sorts of different contexts, or simply use the same sentence structure and substitute different adjectives besides “yellow” and “violent” to fit whatever they are talking about.

 

别太 CCTV
bié tài CCTV
(
byih tie CCTV
)

Don’t be too CCTV. Meaning don’t bullshit or be a tool or espouse propaganda. Came about after the 很黄,很暴力
hěn huáng, hěn bàolì
incident (previous entry) on China’s state-owned TV station.

 

很傻,很天真
hěn shǎ, hěn tiānzhēn
(
hun shah, hun tyinn jen
)

Literally “very foolish, very naive.” This phrase became popular after Hong Kong pop star Gillian Chung said it during a news conference. She was apologizing after pictures of her having sex with another celebrity, Edison Chen, were exposed on the Internet. Chinese Internet users were amused because it of its similarity to 很黄,很暴力
hěn huáng, hěn bàolì
(page 163).

 

做俯卧撑
zuò fǔwòchēng
(
dzwuh foo wuh chung
)

Literally “do push-ups” and a euphemism for a lame excuse or feelings of apathy. Stems from a June 2008 incident when the drowned body of a fifteen-year-old girl was found in Guizhou Province. The “push-up” reference comes from the provincial government’s official statement about what happened, which in addition to not being believed by most netizens, included the bizarrely specific detail that one of the last people to see the girl alive, a friend of her boyfriend, started doing push-ups near her on a bridge and that “on the third one” she cried out and then jumped. Netizens latched on to the detail, and sarcastic allusions to doing push-ups have flooded the Internet ever since. It generally means “it’s none of my business,” with a cynical edge that points to the futility of caring about anything when you are powerless to change things, but is sometimes used more lightheartedly to suggest a feeble excuse. “What were you doing in a sex chat room anyway?” “Uh . . . I was just doing push-ups.”

 

节约点, 喝茅台
jiéyuē diǎn, hē Máotái
(
jyih yreh dyinn, huh maow tie
)

This catchphrase, which means “economize: drink Moutai,” comes from a report about a government official in Sichuan Province who beat up a shopkeeper for charging him too much for a bottle of Moutai (a high-end brand of Chinese liquor). It was explained that “Director Cao wanted to economize, because money is tight at the personnel bureau and he still owes money for house repairs.” The irony of this statement was not lost on Chinese netizens, and this quickly became the newest Internet meme, as Moutai is strongly associated with government corruption (no shady deal is sealed without a booze-soaked dinner involving copious amounts of this expensive liquor).

 

恶搞
ègǎo
(
uh gow
)

An umbrella term for China’s Internet parody culture (including online videos and Photoshop images spoofing current events). Literally “evil doings” or “restless work.” It comes from the Japanese word
kuso
, which spread first to Taiwan and then throughout greater China.
Kuso
means “shit” and also “poor quality” and described a Japanese fad for appreciating shitty computer games (similar to when we call a movie “so bad it’s good”). Since these terrible computer games were often unintentionally funny, in Taiwan the meaning eventually shifted to include anything ridiculous or funny.

 

网友
wǎngyǒu
(
wahng yo
)

Internet friend(s). Making friends via the Internet is much, much more common in China than in the West. Westerners chatting online in China are often startled by the large number of messages they receive from Chinese strangers who are just searching for new friends to chat with. Some of these Internet friends are simply people to chat with while idling away the hours at work, some meet up in person, and some start relationships. Some Chinese even meet people by tex ting random phone numbers in the hopes of happening upon someone friendly.

 

网瘾
wǎngyǐn
(
wahng een
)

Internet addiction. In 2008 China became the first country in the world to officially recognize this as a clinical disorder, similar to alcoholism and compulsive gambling, after several well-publicized cases in which young people died after spending days or weeks glued to the computer screen in Internet cafés. The country has several officially licensed Internet addiction clinics and has also seen a spate of unlicensed, hidden Internet cafés where kids banned from the Internet by their parents secretly go to play games.

颜文字
yán wénzì
(
yen when dz
)

Emoticon. Literally “face character.”

 

凸

In normal written Chinese, this is the character 凸
tū
(
too
), meaning “convex.” It is frequently used on the Internet as an emoticon, however, because it looks like a hand giving the middle finger.

 

Orz

Meant to look like a person kneeling on the ground, on hands and knees, with head bowed—the
O
is the person’s head,
r
is the arm and torso, and
z
is the bent leg. Used to express shock, hopelessness, frustration, despondence, or, more positively, respect or awe—basically any emotion that might be suggested by a kneeling figure.

A few variations (among many) include:

囧

An emoticon indicating sadness, frustration, shock, or amusement. The character 囧
jiǒng
(
jyohng
—the
o
sound is long), which dates back to ancient times, originally meant “bright” but has taken on this new meaning because it looks like a sad face (or a shocked or amused face, depending on your interpretation). “
Jiǒng
culture” has taken off as a full-fledged fad that has spilled over into real life—the character can even be found on T-shirts, bags, and other accessories.

A few variations (of many) include:

槑
meí
(
may
)

Stupefied, shocked. This obscure character dates back to ancient times and means “plum.” It is made of two characters for 呆
dāi
(
die
) next to each other, and since 呆 alone can mean something like “dumb” or “astounded” or “foolish,” having two next to each other doubles the degree.

 

雷
leí
(
lay
)

Literally “thunder.” Used to indicate shock or surprise or outrage (or any emotion that might be represented by the image of someone being thunderstruck). Moreover, on both the Internet and in real life 雷人
léirén
(
lay ren
), literally “thunder person,” has come to mean “outrageous” or “shocking” or “absurd.” One especially common expression is 太雷人了
tài léirén le
(
tie lay ren luh
), meaning “too outrageous” or “that’s so stupid” or “that’s insane.”

 

汗
hàn
(
hahn
)

Means “sweat” and is used, usually in reply, to indicate feeling embarrassed or dumbfounded (that is, an emotion that makes you sweat).

 

泪
lèi
(
lay
)

Means “tear” or “teardrop” and used online to express sadness or crying.

 

晕
yūn
(
een
)

Means “dizzy” or “faint” and is often used to express surprise, shock, amusement, or disgust; that is, emotions that might make you feel faint.

 

我倒
wǒ dǎo
(
wuh daow
)

Literally, “I fall over.” Used the same way as
yūn
(above).

 

VoV

Represents a person holding up two peace signs on either side of his or her face.

 

闪

The character 闪
shǎn
(
shahn
) means “flash” and is used in online chatting to mean “leaving,” as when you leave a chat room—you might say 我闪了
wǒ shǎn le
(
wuh shahn luh
), “I’m leaving”—or “avoid doing something.”

BS

Usually means the English “bullshit” but may also stand for 鄙视
bǐshì
(
bee shih
), which literally means “despise.”