No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline (9 page)
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Authors: Brian Tracy
Tags: #Self Help, #Business, #Non-Fiction, #Psychology, #Inspirational
BOOK: No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline
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By following the path of least resistance, the easiest and most mindless behavior of all is for a person to lash out and blame someone else anytime anything goes wrong, for any reason.
People who develop the habit of automatically blaming often become angry at
things
. Blaming inanimate objects when they do not function as expected is so silly that it almost becomes a mild form of insanity.
things
. Blaming inanimate objects when they do not function as expected is so silly that it almost becomes a mild form of insanity.
People become angry at doors that stick. They swear at tools they are using when they themselves make a mistake. They get mad when their car doesn’t start. Even if it is an inanimate object, if it doesn’t work perfectly, then the thing must be to blame. People will often kick a car that they are mad at or a box that they tripped over.
The fastest and most dependable way to eliminate negative emotions is to immediately say, “I am responsible!” Whenever something happens that triggers anger or a negative reaction of any kind, quickly neutralize the feelings of negativity by saying, “I am responsible.”
The Law of Substitution says that you can substitute a positive thought for a negative one. Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, when you deliberately choose the positive thought, “I am responsible,” you cancel out any other thought or emotion at that moment.
It is not possible to accept responsibility and remain angry at the same time. It is not possible to accept responsibility and experience negative emotions. It is not possible to accept responsibility without becoming calm, clear, positive, and focused once more.
As long as you are blaming someone else for something in your life that you don’t like, you will remain a “mental child.” You continue to see yourself as small and helpless, like a victim. You continue to lash out. However, when you begin to accept responsibility for everything that happens to you, you transform yourself into a “mental adult.” You will see yourself as being in charge of your own life, and no longer a victim.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, people who are having problems with drinking attend meetings with others going through the same situation. What they have found is that until the individual accepts responsibility for his or her problems, both with alcohol and in other areas of life, no progress is possible. But after the person accepts responsibility, everything is possible. This is true with almost every difficult situation in life in which you project your unhappiness onto other people or factors outside yourself.
Many of our biggest problems and concerns in life have to do with money: earning it, spending it, investing it, and, especially, losing it. As a result, many of our negative emotions are associated with money in some way. However, the fact is that you are responsible for your financial life. You choose. You decide. You are in charge. You cannot blame your financial problems or situation on other people. You are in the driver’s seat.
So it is only when you accept responsibility for your income (who chose to accept the job you are working at?), your bills (who spent the money that put you into debt?), and your investments (who made those decisions?) can you move from being an “economic child” to an “economic adult.”
There is a direct relationship between the acceptance of responsibility and the amount of personal control you feel you have over your life. This means that the more you accept responsibility, the greater
sense of control
you experience.
sense of control
you experience.
There is also a direct relationship between the amount of control you feel you have and how positive you feel. The more you feel that you have a high “sense of control” in the important areas of your life, the more positive and happy you are in everything you do.
When you accept responsibility, you feel strong, powerful, and purposeful. Accepting responsibility eliminates the negative emotions that rob you of happiness and contentment.
In every situation, the antidote to negative emotions is to say, “I am responsible.” Then look into the situation to find the reasons why you are responsible for what happened or for what is going on.
Your intelligence is like a double-edged sword: It can cut in either direction. You can use your intelligence to rationalize, justify, and blame other people for things you are not happy about, or you can use your intelligence to find reasons why you are responsible for what happened and then take action to solve the problem or resolve the situation. You can make excuses or you can make progress. You choose.
Even if an accident has occurred, such as your car being damaged in the parking lot while you are at work, you may not be
legally
at fault for the accident. But you are still responsible for your responses, for how you behave as a result of what happened.
legally
at fault for the accident. But you are still responsible for your responses, for how you behave as a result of what happened.
The mark of the leader, the truly superior person, is that he or she accepts complete responsibility for the situation. It is not possible to imagine a true leader who whines and complains rather than taking action when problems and difficulties arise.
This sense of “response-ability” is the mark of the highly developed personality: You take responsibility for your life by resolving, in advance, that you will not become upset or angry over something that you cannot affect or change. Just as you do not become angry about the weather, you do not become angry over circumstances and situations over which you have no control.
Furthermore, you especially do not allow yourself to be angry and unhappy in the present because of unhappy experiences or situations from the
past
. You say, “What cannot be cured must be endured.”
past
. You say, “What cannot be cured must be endured.”
It is amazing how many people are unhappy today because of a past event, even something that happened many years ago. Each time they think of the negative experience, they become angry or depressed once again. The good news is that at any time, you can stop thinking about, discussing, and rehashing the past. You can let it go and begin thinking instead about your goals and your unlimited future. As Helen Keller said, “When you turn toward the sunshine, the shadows fall behind you.”
Any self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control begin with taking responsibility for your
emotions
. You take charge of your emotions by accepting 100 percent responsibility for yourself and for your responses to everything that happens to you. You refuse to make excuses, complain, criticize, or blame other people for anything. Instead, you say, “I am responsible,” and then take action of some kind.
emotions
. You take charge of your emotions by accepting 100 percent responsibility for yourself and for your responses to everything that happens to you. You refuse to make excuses, complain, criticize, or blame other people for anything. Instead, you say, “I am responsible,” and then take action of some kind.
The only real antidote for anger or worry is purposeful action in the direction of your goals—which is the subject of the next chapter. Before you turn to that, however, resolve today to first take complete control of your thoughts, feeling, and actions, and then to get so busy working on things that are important to you that you don’t have time to think about or express negative emotions to or about anyone, for any reason.
When you exert your self-discipline and willpower in the acceptance of personal responsibility for your life, you take complete control of your thoughts and feelings. By doing so, you become a much more effective, happy, and positive person in everything you do.
Action Exercises:1. Resolve today to accept 100 percent responsibility for everything you are and for everything you become. Never complain, never explain.2. Look into your past and select a person or incident that still makes you unhappy today. Instead of justifying your negative feelings, look for reasons why
you
were partially responsible for what happened.3. Select a relationship in your past that made you unhappy, and then give three reasons why
you
were responsible for what occurred.4. Select one person in your past with whom you are still angry and resolve to forgive that person completely for what happened. This act will liberate you emotionally.5. Accept complete responsibility for your financial situation and refuse to blame any financial problems on anyone else. Now, what steps are you going to take to resolve that situation?6. Accept complete responsibility for your family situation, with each person, and then take immediate action to improve your relationships wherever there may be problems.7. Accept 100 percent responsibility for your health. Resolve today to do or stop doing whatever is necessary for you to attain excellent all-around health.
Chapter 4
Self-Discipline and Goals
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”
—JIM ROHN
Y
our ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals for yourself and then to work toward them every day will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor. You need to have goals to accomplish worthwhile things in life. You have probably heard it said that “you can’t hit a target that you can’t see.”
our ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals for yourself and then to work toward them every day will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor. You need to have goals to accomplish worthwhile things in life. You have probably heard it said that “you can’t hit a target that you can’t see.”
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
And as Wayne Gretsky said, “You miss every shot you don’t take.”
The very act of taking the time to decide what you really want in each area of your life can change your life completely.
It seems that only 3 percent of adults have written goals and plans, and
this 3 percent earn more than all of the other 97 percent put together.
this 3 percent earn more than all of the other 97 percent put together.
Why is this? The simplest answer is that if you have clear goal and a plan to achieve it, you therefore have a track to run on every single day. Instead of being sidetracked by distractions and diversions, getting lost or going astray, more and more of your time is focused in a straight line—from where you are to where you want to go. This is why people with goals accomplish so much more than people without them.
The tragedy is that most people think that they already have goals. But what they really have are
hopes
and
wishes.
However, hope is not a strategy for success, and a wish has been defined as a “goal with no energy behind it.”
hopes
and
wishes.
However, hope is not a strategy for success, and a wish has been defined as a “goal with no energy behind it.”
Goals that are not written down and developed into plans are like bullets without powder in the cartridge. People with unwritten goals go through life shooting blanks. Because they think they already have goals, they never engage in the hard, disciplined effort of goal-setting—and this is the master skill of success.
In 2006,
USA Today
reported a study in which researchers selected a large number people who had made New Year’s resolutions. They then divided these people into two categories: those who had set New Year’s resolutions and written them down and those who had set New Year’s resolutions but had not written them down.
USA Today
reported a study in which researchers selected a large number people who had made New Year’s resolutions. They then divided these people into two categories: those who had set New Year’s resolutions and written them down and those who had set New Year’s resolutions but had not written them down.
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