Nobilissima (46 page)

“Placidia,” he said, moving closer. “I wanted to talk to you alone. You have to understand that my little dalliance with that servant is nothing. I don’t care one bit for her. It’s just a way to pass the time while I wait.”

“Wait?” I asked, breathing fast. I eyed the hedges, looking for a place to run.

“For you to realize how much I need you,” he said moving a little closer. I stepped backward into a bush that scratched my neck and shoulders.

“You don’t need me, Honorius. You can have your servant in your bed. All I ask is that you don’t call her by my name.”

He closed the distance between us, put his hand out and touched my cheek. “Why not, when that is what I want?” he said softly. “Dear Placidia. How sweet it is to say your name to you, not that stupid girl.”

I pushed his hand away. “That’s enough, Honorius.”

I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

“Guard!” I shouted, suddenly terrified.

“Don’t shout,” he said. “I’ll leave you now but if you continue to resist me, I’ll make your friends and family sorry that they know you. I’ll drive them all away so that you have only me to turn to for company.”

I shook his hand off my arm, and ran back into the palace. Guards at the doors looked at me in surprise but I pushed past them and hurried to my rooms. I knew what I had to do.

I sent for Aurelia and Sylvia and as soon as they arrived, out of breath, I told them of my decision.

“There’s no choice, Aurelia, I can’t stay here. Honorius is either mad or ill, but either way, he is dangerous to me, the children, and to all of you. I can’t stand to be near him and have decided to leave Ravenna.”

Aurelia’s face was ashen and she sat down heavily on the couch nearest to me, leaning forward with her head in her hands.

“I’ve been considering this option for a while,” I continued. “We’ll go to Constantinople. My nephew and his court will welcome us and protect us. This is a desperate measure, I realize that, but I can’t take any more from Honorius.”

My nephew, Theodosius II, had been ruler of the Eastern Roman Empire since he was eight years old, following the death of my oldest brother, Arcadius. It was well known that he relied heavily on his older sister, Pulcheria, who had been regent until he was sixteen and, together, they ran an austere and deeply religious court. Both of them had expressed their disapproval of Honorius on several occasions, partly because they felt that he wasn’t doing all he could to secure the Western borders against incursions by the barbarians, and partly because they were outraged by stories of his lack of discipline. It was this that made me confident they would welcome me in Constantinople. There was no love lost between them and Honorius.

“What about Marcus?” asked Aurelia.

“I’ll come with you.” It was Marcus, striding into the room and bringing a rush of air with him. “I can’t serve the Emperor as Magister Militum any longer. I’ll resign my duties here.”

“To give up your position, Marcus! Are you sure?” asked Aurelia, looking at him. I patted the couch to invite him to sit next to me. He limped over and sat down, holding his cane with both hands in front of him.

“Honorius will find a way to take it from me soon enough,” he replied. “Besides,” he smiled. “I’ve been wanting to retire for some time now.”

"Why Constantinople?" asked Sylvia. "Why not Rome?"

"Too much risk of political conflict." Marcus answered for me. "To have the Augusta so close to the Senate and Pope in Rome would be dangerous to Honorius and he wouldn't let it rest there.”

There was a long silence and then Aurelia spoke again.

“What of Tertius and the rest of the household?” she asked.

My throat constricted at the thought of leaving my old tutor. “Poor Tertius. He is too frail for such a journey.”

Aurelia was reassuring. “He’ll be happy here with his books,” she said. “You’ve left him and come back to him before. He’ll be happier waiting here for you.”

No one spoke. Our return wasn’t guaranteed. Indeed, I imagined that my self-imposed exile to Constantinople could last a very long time.

“We’ll bring fifty or so of the household staff,” I said, moving my thoughts away from my parting from Tertius. “I’ll make arrangements to pay everyone else for one year or until they find other employment. Aurelia, you can help me draw up the list of who should come and I’ll send a courier today to my niece and nephew to let them know of our plans.”

Sylvia threw herself on to the couch. “Constantinople. Lord, that is a long way from here.” Her voice trembled.

“We’ve lived in foreign courts and foreign countries before,” I said, attempting to reassure everyone. “And under far worse circumstances. Constantinople is a civilized and elegant city, much like Rome before the Goth invasion.”

“You were born there,” Sylvia said. “It will be like going home for you.”

“You don’t have to come,’ I snapped at her, and felt guilty the minute the words were out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, Sylvia. I want you to come, of course, but I understand if you prefer to stay here.”

Sylvia began to cry and Marcus held up his hand for silence.

“I’ll talk with the Longidiana family,” he said. “They know all of the ship captains and can find us safe passage to Constantinople. I’ll also tell the tribune of the guard to arrange for an escort to the port. How quickly do you want to leave?”

“As soon as possible,” I replied. M

Marcus nodded. “I’ll increase the size of your bodyguard to ensure that Honorius can’t reach you once he hears of this. And I’ll resign my position immediately and recommend my replacement. I’ll say only that I am resigning because of my health.”

Aurelia gazed at her husband with an expression of concern, and my doubts intensified. I was running away, and forcing all those I loved to run with me. I hated feeling so weak and powerless. Marcus looked at me, as though reading my thoughts, then stood up and took my hands in his.

“Don’t torment yourself, Placidia. Your options are limited. It is impossible to live under constant threat from the Emperor, and surrounded by calumny. I would never agree to raise arms against him and will do nothing that would risk civil war. That, above all else, must be avoided. To save yourself and ensure the stability of the Empire, your decision is the right one.”

“Honorius is hardly capable of ruling,” I argued. “Who knows what will happen if we are not here to maintain the balance.”

“Time will decide,” he responded. “His advisors will maintain some level of control, and who is to say that he won’t be more temperate once you are gone? Your absence could be the remedy for his ills.”

I nodded, my mind still whirling. But I appreciated Marcus’s support of my decision and began to assign tasks for each of us. Focusing on practicalities calmed my nerves.

Keeping such an undertaking a secret was impossible, as I learned over the next few days. The palace was alight with the scandal and Marcus reported that there had been disturbances on the streets of Ravenna as outraged citizens argued with each other on the truth of the rumors. Honorius sent messengers to my rooms several times a day demanding to see me but each time I sent them away without an answer. Most members of my household came to me asking to be included in the party that would move to Constantinople, and I was heartened to see how many remained loyal to me.

I called Ursus in to say goodbye to him and asked for his prayers. The bishop’s face was flushed with emotion, his cheeks wet with tears, and I realized how much I’d miss him and our constant debates. I arranged to send the contents of my wine cellar to him, knowing that he would put them to good use.

Sylvia’s husband didn’t even argue when she told him she was leaving and that she’d take Claudia with her. She volunteered to oversee the packing of the children’s clothes and toys, which was all done quietly when the children were playing elsewhere. I’d decided not to tell them until the last minute, knowing that Valentinian in particular would refuse to leave. I’d succeeded in stopping him from seeing his uncle but he still asked every day if he could go to him. I would be glad to get the boy away, safe from Honorius’s influence.

Within a week, we were ready and the ship had been prepared. There was no time to wait for a response from my nephew, Theodosius. We would arrive in Constantinople and throw ourselves on his mercy.

The tribune of the guard had horses and carriages ready for the journey to the port, and a unit of loyal soldiers to accompany us. I went to see Tertius, fearful that this might be our last meeting. He was old now, his head bowed and his limbs thin as sticks. His eyes, though, were as bright and full of life as ever.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I have my books and projects to keep me busy and I’ll  make sure the library is kept immaculate for you. I’ll miss you but I’ll be busy and I’m sure you’ll come back soon, with the support of Constantinople.”

Wishing I could believe his words, I kissed him on the cheek and left the library before my tears could upset him. I found Aurelia in the hallway looking distraught.

“I can’t find Apollo anywhere,” she said. “He must have gone out when the maids were packing. I can’t leave him behind.”

We enlisted the help of several servants but when it was time to depart, Apollo was still missing.

“Tertius will look after him when he comes back inside,” I tried to console Aurelia. The missing cat made me uneasy but there was no time to think about it. We had to be ready to leave.

We rode out at dawn, when Honorius was still sleeping. Although I’d tried to keep our departure day a secret, many of the household staff gathered at the gates to bid us goodbye and they cried when the carriage rolled past. My heart ached to leave them behind and I looked away, keeping my gaze on the sleeping forms of Valentinian and Honoria. Neither of them would appreciate the confinement of the ship for so long and I prayed for a calm sea and fast sailing.

When the carriages arrived at the long road that led to the port in Classis, I saw several units of soldiers ahead. Alarmed, I thought that Honorius had sent them, but relaxed when I saw Marcus ride ahead to talk to them. Once the carriages had passed through, they swung into position, blocking the road in case of pursuit by Honorius’s guard.

Soon, the carriage wheels bounced over the cobbled entry into the port, and the children stirred. The air smelled of brine and was noisy with the shouts of the port crews and the creaking of the wooden ships at anchor. Eager to see the vessel we were to sail on, I stepped out of the carriage on to the dock. Even at this early hour, the harbor was bustling with people, pushing barrows filled with crates and chests from ship to shore, or curling heavy ropes into neat circles on the ground.

I caught sight of Marcus at the base of a ramp that led up to the deck of a three-masted merchant ship with painted sides and furled sails. A dozen men clambered around on the rigging, checking knots and shouting to each other. Beyond the ship, the sun rose, cleansing the dark sky with pink and yellow tongues, warming the air and sprinkling the water with diamonds that shone in the light.

At the end of the dock, a lone seagull sat on a post, watching me. With a sudden screech, it opened its wings and flew high into the air, disappearing over the open water towards the East. I watched it go, envious of its freedom and its speed, and prayed that it was a good omen for our safe journey to Constantinople.

Chapter 41

I heard movement behind me and turned to see Sylvia and Aurelia lifting the children down from the carriage. Honoria ran to grab my hand. “Where are we, mama? I want to go back to bed.”
 

“We’re going on a journey, all of us together. It’ll be exciting.”

Honoria pouted and then began to cry, refusing to stop in spite of my pleas. She calmed down when Marcus came over to us to introduce Longidiana, who bowed deeply to me and welcomed us all.

“This ship wasn’t built to carry passengers of your standing, Augusta,” he said.  “But we’ve done all that we can  to ensure a comfortable journey and you have one of the best captains in the fleet to guide you. He is my cousin and he will get you to Constantinople safely.”

I thanked him for his help and he took his leave, pausing to give sweets to the children first.

“We’ll let the men finish loading the chests and boxes and then we ‘ll board,” Marcus said. “I’ll go supervise. It’ll only be a few minutes.”

I watched the procession of men carrying our belongings up the ramp and wondered yet again if I was doing the right thing.
 
I’d thought that my travels were over, the years of moving from one place to another with everything I owned packed in a couple of trunks. I’d found my passion in Ravenna, ruling, governing and making decisions, and
 
Constantinople would offer me none of that.

I held Honoria’s hand tightly, and tried to dispel the dark thoughts that filled my head. Honoria started crying loudly, her wails adding to a sense of growing unease that made my heart beat fast and my hands perspire. I was glad when it was time to board and it was too late to change my mind. I led the way, and
 
Sylvia carried Valentinian, who was now awake and looking around with wide eyes. Claudia walked beside them, looking nervous.