Nobody's Dream (2 page)

Another couple you will meet in this book (or see again, if you read
Nobody’s Lost
, my surprise December release) is Megan and Ryder Wilson. If you missed the announcements about this book last fall and winter, I would highly recommend that you read it before you continue. You know how my books build upon each other. You can find an excerpt and buy link to
Nobody’s Lost
(Rescue Me Saga #5) by clicking this link.

I know some of you have been waiting for Luke and Cassie’s story since they first met in
Nobody’s Angel
, too. These characters and this journey dictate the order that their stories will be told. I am but the channel they use to share their stories. So, I hope there are no hard feelings that it took so long. I have poured my heart into this book and hope that you will find it healing, entertaining, and the perfect addition to the Saga.

Will this be the last? Oh, no! I’ll be publishing some short novels in the next year or two as I try to get some of the voices out of my head and onto your e-reader screen or paperback books. But the pressure of setting preorders and deadlines are a thing of the past. So, please sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss future announcements about what’s in store, both in the main Rescue Me Saga, the black-ops trilogy and other spin-offs, and even books not at all related to the Masters at Arms Club community.

To all who have been with me these past six months during my health problems, thank you! I am cancer free and grateful to everyone who prayed, lit candles, sent cards or gifts, or lifted me up in any way.

My surgeon left me with the instructions to eat healthy, don’t gain weight, and to keep writing. Well, I definitely accomplished that last part! And I will continue to work on the other two!

WARNING: This book tells the story of a rape-survivor’s healing. I have kept the details of the rape to a minimum, but through flashbacks some details are revealed that may cause triggers. I had several rape survivors on my team assure me that the overall message is one of hope and healing, so I hope that you will surround yourself with supportive people you can talk with if issues arise while you read. And please use these first two resources or a rape crisis center or hotline in your nation if you are unable to find someone to talk with. You survived. It was not your fault. Be kind to yourself and seek the support and love of those around you.

Here are some web sites that can help if you need to talk with someone.

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN):

https://www.rainn.org

Crisis and Suicide Prevention Services (United States):

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

And while Luke and Cassie are not veterans, there are some issues in this book dealing with Adam and Ryder and their PTSD symptoms. If you want to speak with someone about military PTSD issues, please contact the Veterans Administration or any veterans group.

In addition, I’m very impressed with and appreciative of the work done by these organizations for veterans and their families:

Hope for the Warriors:

http://www.hopeforthewarriors.org/

Save a Warrior:

http://www.saveawarrior.org/

Snowball Express (for the children of the fallen):

https://snowballexpress.org/

(Warning: Spoilers if you have not yet read the five books before this one, including
Nobody’s Lost
, Megan and Ryder’s story released in December 2014)

Cassatt
—one of Luke’s rescued mustangs

Marc D’Alessio
—Navy corpsman (“Doc”) and Luke’s search-and-rescue (SAR) partner. Dating Angelina Giardano.

Luke Denton
—Marc’s search-and-rescue (SAR) partner who adopts rescued, abused mustangs; he is an artisan who makes furniture, including pieces for the kink community

Emily
—a friend of Marisol’s for her school in Denver

Fontana
—one of Luke’s rescued mustangs

Mrs. Gallagher
—mother to Adam Montague, Patrick Gallagher, and Megan Gallagher

Patrick Gallagher
—Megan Gallagher’s brother and Adam Montague’s half-brother

Savannah Gentry Orlando
—a social worker on the run; in a relationship with Damián Orlando, the man who rescued her from a brutal scene in
Masters at Arms
. (Also see
Savannah Orlando
)

Angelina Giardano
—Marc’s fiancée; a chef by trade; nicknamed Angie by Karla and Angel by Luke

Matteo (Matt) Giardano
—Angelina’s brother; a fire fighter; likes to go skijoring

Rafe Giardano
—Angelina’s oldest brother; a fire fighter

Graciela
—one of Cassie’s alpacas; name means “grace” in Spanish

V. Grant
—a Lance Corporal communications specialist who was briefly attached to Ryder’s recon Marine unit in Fallujah

Killa
—one of Cassie’s alpacas; name means “moon” in Quechua

Kitty
—Nickname for Karla Paxton Montague

Gunnar Larsen
—a sadist whip master who trained Damián, Grant, and others; retired Army Delta Force

Cassie López
—Karla’s friend from college who now lives in Colorado, a reclusive artist who hasn’t dealt with the aftermath of a gang rape in her homeland of Peru while on a break from college

Eduardo López
—Cassie’s brother; married to Susana

Lalo López
—Cassie’s nephew; Lalo is a nickname for Eduardo

Mamá López
—Cassie’s mother, of Quechua descent

Papá López
—Cassie’s father, of Spanish descent

Susana López
—Cassie’s sister-in-law; married to Eduardo

Adam Montague
(pronounced MON-tag)—retired Marine Corps Master Sergeant; married to Karla; “adopted” father of Damian Orlando; patriarch to the Masters at Arms Club “family”

Karla Paxton Montague
—wife to Adam Montague; singer in the Masters at Arms Club; nicknamed Kitty by Cassie and Kitten by Adam

O’Keeffe
—one of Luke’s more severely abused rescued mustangs

Damián Orlando
—Marine wounded in Fallujah; rides a Harley and is a Patriot Guard Rider; husband to Savannah Gentry Orlando; and father to Marisol Orlando.

Marisol “Mari” Orlando
—Savannah and Damián’s daughter

Savannah Orlando
—see
Savannah Gentry

Doctor Palmer
—Karla’s obstetrician

Jerry Patterson
—a Vietnam veteran who runs a BDSM club in Los Angeles frequented by several characters in the Rescue Me Saga

Picasso
—a neglected palomino rescued by Luke; being trained for SAR work

Mr. Proctor
—Luke’s high school shop teacher who encouraged him to work with wood

Qhawa
—one of Cassie’s alpacas; name means one who watches or monitors

Quenti
—newborn son to Eduardo and Susana López

Padre
Rojas
—Priest at the church in Peru where the López family are members

Tía
Sofia
—Cassie’s aunt and her mother’s sister

Tika
—one of Cassie’s alpacas; name means “flower”

Megan Gallagher Wilson
—half-sister to Adam Montague and sister to Patrick Gallagher; recent graduate with an MFA in photography.

Ryder Wilson
—served in the recon Marines with Adam Montague in Kosovo, Kandahar (Afghanistan), and Fallujah (Iraq). Appeared briefly in
Masters at Arms
where he was known as Wilson. Works odd jobs and hates cities. In a relationship with
Megan Gallagher
.

Prologue

October 2007, Columbia University, New York City

H
is hard body pressed against the length of her back, hands reaching around to paw at her breasts. His height told her it was Diego, not Pedro. Cassie clawed his hands away as someone reached out and pinched her nipple.

“You have quite a handful in this one, Pedro. She will need more than one man to tame her.”

She elbowed him and turned to slap his face.

“Ow! Cassie, wake up. You’re having another nightmare.”

Kitty?
Gasping for breath and batting at the air, Cassie opened her eyes to find herself crouching against the wall on her dorm-room bed. She blinked several times. The darkness prevented her from seeing her friend’s face, but she recognized the voice and stopped fighting. Apparently, Kitty’s sleep had been disturbed by Cassie once again in their tiny dorm room.

“I am so sorry I woke you again.” Would the night terrors ever go away? She had barely slept in the weeks since she had returned to uni for her senior year. Every time she closed her eyes, she found herself catapulted back three months to that cantina in Lima.

“Are you okay now?”

Her eyes adjusted enough for her to see Kitty’s worried expression as she knelt on the floor beside Cassie’s bed. Cassie nodded, but had come to realize she would never be able to rid herself of the guilt and shame over her body’s response to those men’s hands on her.

Kitty stood up and took several steps to her desk. Stretching out on the mattress, Cassie tried to convey to her friend everything was okay, but as soon as she closed her eyes the nightmarish scene returned. Exhaustion dragged her spirit down, but the vivid images allowed her no peace. Kitty padded back in her slippers and wiped the sweat and tears away from Cassie’s face with a towelette.

“It’s all over now. Just a dream.” As reality and memories poured in, her body began shaking uncontrollably. Cassie’s stomach twisted in knots. “Shhh, Cassie. You’re safe now. Everything’s going to be all right. Are you worrying about midterms?”

Cassie nodded as she silently asked Kitty and the Universe to forgive her for the half-truth. Of course, her grades
had
fallen drastically. She would let her friend believe that was the reason for her anxiety, because she could not tell Kitty what happened over summer break.

She resented the fact that she had not been able to climb out of this dungeon of fear and depression even months after the rape. This week, she had missed turning in two important assignments, and the midterm project due Friday was far from complete.

If she flunked out, she would be deported and forced to return to Peru. Her parents had no idea what had happened, but her fear and shame would never allow her to go back home.

“Kitty, I am scared.” The words escaped before she realized.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. Your grades will be fine. You’re a four-point-oh student.”

Cassie shook her head, but flunking out this semester was one more thing she had been trying to hide.

Cassie wished that those monsters had killed her during the attack. Why had she stopped them when Diego threatened her with his knife? Instead, she had talked him out of it, promising not to tell her family or to press charges. As if pressing charges would have resulted in prosecution or justice in Peru anyway.

Damn her for being so naïve as to think death was a fate worse than the hell they had condemned her to live day in and day out until she took her final breath! Did she have the courage to end this life and start over, knowing the repercussions to her soul?

Everything terrified her now. Pedro and his accomplices had ripped all security from her. Why pretend she would ever be safe, whole, or in charge of her life or body again?

“I cannot go on, Kitty. I am—”
Silence, Casandra!
She drew in a deep but shaky breath to regain her composure. Still, she could not confide in Kitty how close she was to ending her life. “I am going to drop out.”

She let her roommate presume she meant from school, not from life. All hope of returning to normalcy was gone. She had nothing left. For days, she had contemplated how she might put a suicide plan into action. Death appealed to her more than the thought of living in this hollow, haunted shell.