Nobody's Dream (22 page)

Luke did look forward to reconnecting with his world when he left here. No word from Marc, but Angel said he’d been through some kind of ordeal last week. He’d check on him first thing by cell phone. Then the horses.

The door creaked open and Cassie stood there with red, puffy eyes and her eyelashes clumped together, wet from tears. She waved him in and backed away so he wouldn’t come too close.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I am fine. Just overly emotional.”

He wanted to take her in his arms and provide her some comfort, but she’d probably kick him out. Maybe he could help by just being here and distracting her.

Give her space.

His gaze lighted on a watercolor in the center of her work area. Close by was the portrait of her parents. Were they weighing heavily on her conscience and emotions today? What had Eduardo said earlier to upset her?

“Painting something new?”

She shook her head. “Well, I tried to work on that watercolor some more but am having a hard time concentrating.”

Big surprise with all the intruders at her mountain hideaway. “Mind if I take a look?”

She shrugged. “No, not at all.”

He walked across the studio to examine the piece. The canvas was a wash of browns, blacks, and grays, but a single, bright-yellow aspen leaf drifted on the air currents. It provided a splash of light and color amidst one very depressing background. “I feel a real sense of motion with the leaf.”

“Thank you.”

The dark emotion on the canvas tugged at his heart. Did she see herself as the leaf, buffeted by the winds, no control in her life? Or was he projecting his own feelings onto the painting? Artists rarely intended what others interpreted in their pieces. Each work of art spoke differently to each person viewing it. “Will this be shown at the gallery?”

“I am uncertain. It is not quite finished and was not planned for the show, but I need to finish a couple of others first. I have an idea for a fiber-art design but have not had time to work on it.”

“Sorry, I’ve taken up so much of your time lately. You’d have been able to get more work done if not chained to my bedside after the avalanche.”

Don’t think about restraining her to a bed, Denton.

She shook her head and smiled. “No, I needed you here to save Milagrosa’s life. I will always be indebted to you for being here. Besides, I still have plenty of time. The exhibition is not for seven weeks. As long as I deliver the bulk of the pieces in a few weeks, I am sure she will accept a couple of late ones shortly before the opening. The owner is easy to work with.”

Her gaze drifted to the oil of her parents, and he saw her chin start to quiver. A fat tear rolled down her cheek before she took a ragged breath and turned away. Again, he fought the urge to wrap her in his arms, but she didn’t like to be touched.

“Missing your home?”

She tried to dash away her tears surreptitiously before turning toward him. “This is my home.”

He nodded his head in the direction of the oil painting. “I mean your folks. I guess having Eduardo here stirs up feelings of missing those you love.”

He wondered if there was someone in Peru she ached for as well.

She cleared her throat, and her eyes filled with tears again. In a husky whisper, she said, “I have disappointed and worried my parents.”

“I doubt that, darlin’. I’m sure they’re proud of your talent and that you followed your dream. Not enough people are brave enough to venture out and pursue their passion in life.”

“No, my avocation does not bring them joy. I should have married after graduating from college and settled down. Presented them with two point five grandchildren by now. Instead, I have caused them to worry about my safety and grieve over my absence.” A sob tore from her.

Aw, damn
. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms lightly around her, surprised as hell when she didn’t push him away. Instead, she laid her forehead over his heart and gave in to the tears.

“Shhh.” He reached up and stroked her hair, trying not to mess up her braids. “It’s probably not as bad as you think.”

She shook her head vehemently and continued to cry. “
Papá
has been ill. And you can see he is old. I may never see him again.”

“Why don’t you plan a trip down there this summer? I’ll take care of things for you here.”

“No!” She shoved him away and stared at him before continuing. “I cannot face them. I just wish there was some way to please them, but nothing short of moving back home or marrying will achieve that, and I can do neither.”

Not much he could do to help there other than buy her a round-trip ticket. Or marry her. The discussion yesterday had him thinking what it would be like to have her as his wife. But that was obviously out of the question. She didn’t want a man around at all.

“Well, you may be rid of both of us in a couple days. I’m close to clearing the road.”

Did he detect a mixture of relief and sadness churning across her features? “You are not the problem, Lucas. I have enjoyed having you here—most of the time.”

He chuckled. “Given how we started out, I’ll take that as a sign of progress.”

“Eduardo does not understand a woman wanting to live without a man. He is very traditional and has been conditioned by the customs in my country. I have explained what really happened. He understands now.”

“What Eduardo believes shouldn’t matter. You’re an adult now. We know the truth.”

“Then why do I feel like a child when I think about pleasing my parents?”

He chuckled. “I think we all do that. The ones who are lucky enough to have loving parents worthy of pleasing, anyway. I doubt I’ve ever made my dad happy in my life, especially not since I pursued an artisan’s life.”

She broke away and wiped her tears. “I am sorry.” She touched the wet spots on his chest. “You must think me a mess.”

He framed her face and tilted her head to meet his gaze. Jeezus, he could get lost in those big brown eyes. “Darlin’, you can’t keep everything locked up inside and not expect the dam to burst every now and then. That’s what friends are for—to lean on when you need someone.”

“I used to have Kitty for that.” The sadness returned, but she broke away.

Give her time to regroup.

He glanced at the wall of paintings behind the easel and zeroed in on a winter scene showing an ice climber. Luke pointed to it. “That one reminds me of Marc. Almost got himself killed when he fell while ice climbing on Iron Horse Falls in March. The man’s a loner—and a risk-taker. Not a healthy combination.”

“It is a popular place to climb but dangerous in winter. I have seen a number of reckless stunts on those falls, but that painting was inspired by a trip I made down the mountain in February. The ice was more stable then.” Cassie paused while staring at the painting, seeming to have regained her composure. “You and Marc seem to be good friends.”

“They don’t come any better.”

She continued more quietly, “I miss Kitty since she married. I know I will continue to see her now and then, and I will help when the baby arrives, but he will not allow her to visit me here after her accident last year. We do not have as much time alone together. I know that is selfish of me and that she is happy, but sometimes I wish we could be close the way we once were.”

The sadness in her voice tugged at his heart a bit. “I don’t see as much of Marc either since I moved to the ranch.” He was more than two hours away from Denver now, and Marc was too busy building—or rebuilding—his relationship with Angel to spend time down here. Luke’s horses and work filled his days, but he still got lonely.

He turned toward her. “Karla will always be your friend. Once she has the baby, she’ll need you more than ever.”

“I hope you are right.”

Great as it was having friends, they did have their own lives. No one would begrudge them that, but maybe two lonely people like him and Cassie needed to stick together. “You know, I’m just down the road. Gets a little lonely down there. I’d love for you to stop by anytime.”

Cassie stared at him, blinking a couple of times without responding to his blatant invitation to continue to see each other after he left here.

Maybe he ought to plead his case. “We have common interests in our artwork and animals. No reason why we can’t become good friends.”

He waited as she formulated a response. “I like you, Lucas…”

Wait for it…

“…but there are many reasons it would not be a good idea. The main one being I do not let people get too close. I have been hurt before by someone I thought I could trust.”

Luke wished he could take away that hurt, but all he could do was try to convince her over time to trust again.

“Well, the offer stays on the table. If you need a reference, Angel will vouch that I’m safe and trustworthy.” He shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere, either. Planning to build my operation over time and put down roots.” What else? “Hey, if you ever need help up here with the alpacas or making some repair, you have my number. Or you will before I leave. I’m pretty handy with a hammer and a screwdriver.”

She smiled, and her face lit up. “I have noticed. Thank you.”

With Cassie, friendship was all he’d ever have probably, but that might be enough. He didn’t know many people down this way and was too busy with the horses and many projects to seek new friendships. Aside from Marc and Angel, the Giardano brothers were acquaintances thanks to the horses and their search-and-rescue work, but few others understood him the way Cassie did.

He wondered if she had any casual friends, either. They truly were better friends than he was with almost anyone else. Both he and Cassie enjoyed their solitude, but Luke still needed to connect with people at least once in a while.

He grinned at Cassie. “We’ll just take it slowly. Friends. I’d like to visit Millie and the girls, hang out from time to time, help out if needed. If times are rough, call me. We can go out and talk or something. You can even come down to the ranch and ride horses with me if you’d like.” He sounded like he was begging her to throw him a bone. Man, he really was lonely.

“I guess I’m saying just remember you’ll always have a soft place to land with me.”

*     *     *

Cassie blinked. Nothing about Lucas looked soft, except maybe his heart. He truly seemed to be a kind and gentle soul. If any man in this world could be trusted, it would be him. In their short time together, she knew more about him than she had ever known about Pedro. About any person other than Kitty, really.

Lucas seemed lonely, too.

He walked over to the bank of windows and looked down the mountainside. “Beautiful up here. Great spot for that hot tub.” He pointed to it just outside the windows.

Her face flushed as she imagined what he would think if he knew how she used it. Joining him, but standing a few feet away, she glanced out over the mountain peaks that went on as far as the eye could see. More rounded than the peaks back home, but no less majestic.

Tears formed in her eyes. Why was she so tearful today? Eduardo probably was right. She must be lonely. Until Lucas, she had no idea just how lonely and isolated she was here.

Cassie needed her space, and Lucas seemed aware of that. He had become a good sounding board. She missed talking with him since her brother’s arrival.

Would she see Lucas again after he left? Did she want to remain friends with him in some way? She had never found more in common with any other man and genuinely enjoyed being with him. He had stood up for her when her brother tried to make her feel guilty. Lucas always encouraged her. He had even shared in Milagrosa’s birth—and saved her life. He was handsome, too, with his high cheekbones and smoky-grey eyes.

Wait.
What did looks have to do with being a good friend?

When he cast her a sidelong glance, Cassie’s cheeks grew warm making her heart flutter erratically. Dear Goddess, earlier today she had even ogled him half-naked while he chopped wood. Why was she suddenly behaving like a young, innocent girl again?

It was as if he had cast a spell over her.

All she wanted or needed was a new friend. But what guarantees were there that a friend would be around when you needed them? Look at Kitty. She had found love and was starting her own family. They would drift apart as they had less in common. Cassie would know nothing of marriage or children.

Unfortunately, friendships did not come with contracts binding people together as did marriage vows.

The vision of Lucas placing a ring on her finger during her meditation last night flitted before her eyes. Was
Mama Quilla
telling Cassie that she was destined to be this man’s wife?

Marry Lucas? No matter what Cassie wanted or needed, what earthly reason would possess him to want to marry
her
? At every turn, she had been trying to show him how miserable he would be staying up here any longer than necessary.

What would marriage to Lucas look like? She would have someone to talk with, share common interests with, have a ready friend when lonely. In those aspects, marriage might work, as long as it did not include a physical relationship, and they did not have to live together. She could retain control of her life and calm her parents’ worries.

Oh, what was she thinking? Men married for one reason—sex. Did they not?

Sorry,
Mama Quilla.
Not even You, with all your power, can make this happen.

She looked down at his scuffed boots.

Of course, he asked to be her friend, not her husband. Why the flight of fancy? When she would have changed the subject, something compelled her to ask the next question. “Would you ever marry someone who could not love you, Lucas?”

He turned toward her, and she met his gaze as he quirked his eyebrows. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“On how much I loved her. On whether the arrangement benefited us in other ways. On what we’d hope to accomplish from being married in the first place. Companionship? Meeting each other’s needs? Hot sex?”