Nocturne (22 page)

Her face paled, and her tone sharpened, but she never released my shirt. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

I closed my eyes. My whole body was tense, the muscles in my shoulders ready for a rehearsal, or a performance … or a war. I opened my eyes and looked in hers. Her brown eyes. So young. So confused. Intense.

Before I could stop myself or think or do anything that made any sense at all, I spoke.

“Savannah ...”

Then I stopped talking. She was so close to me, her slender fist bunched up in my shirt, her eyes huge, her lips so close I couldn’t stop myself from touching them, and I was compelled to know what those lips felt like again.

“Gregory, I ...”

Her words were cut off when my lips touched hers, and I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me. This was no slow, gentle kiss. Our mouths opened immediately, and she gripped the back of my neck, pushing us together closer, a low moan like a growl rising from her throat as she pressed her body against mine, hard.

Savannah

I gave him as many chances as I could to turn and leave. To come to his senses. I wouldn’t ask anymore, not with the way his tongue danced greedily inside my mouth. Or the feel of his goatee against my skin. Rough. It fired sensations through my body faster than I could keep up with.

I managed to pry myself away from the kiss. “This way.”

I led him up the stairs and stumbled on the next to the last. Gregory caught me, and we quickly moved to the guest room that had been my home for the past several weeks, and closed the door.

My shirt was on the floor and my hands tugged at the bottom of his shirt before the latch clicked into place. Gregory raised his arms overhead, the muscles in his arms bunching as he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head and the rest of the way off. I pressed my almost-bare chest into his, letting out a small moan at the feeling of his hard muscles against my breasts. His hands moved from my lower back to the clasp of my bra, where he fumbled for a moment before successfully freeing it. And me.

“Jesus.” His lips stayed parted as I backed away to slide the black lace barrier off my shoulders.

In here, there was no sign of the passionless music theory professor. This was the man who closed his eyes and swayed as he coaxed adoration from his cello, the man whose eyes froze me in place every time he looked at me, the man who returned my kiss in the rain and made my heart crave completeness I didn’t even know I was missing. He was quite still, but the hard lines around his eyes and mouth morphed from tension to reverence as I set my hands on his hips and stepped back into his hold.

His head bowed just a bit, as though he wanted to kiss me. Before he reached my lips, I tilted my head to the side and kissed his chest, moving my lips slowly across his scorching bare skin until my tongue centered on his nipple. Gregory sucked in a loud, fast breath through his teeth as my tongue worked him over. Teasing. Testing.

“Come here.” His growl made me weak, and I looked up to find his eyes alive with purpose. He grabbed my face and kissed me again, hard, and I was suddenly aware that I was the only one completely naked. I had no recollection as to when I’d discarded my panties, but now wasn’t the time to wonder about their whereabouts.

As our mouths and tongues hungrily explored each other, I deftly undid his belt with one hand as my other tugged at his hair. Each time I tugged, he gripped my hips harder. The blurred lines between pain and pleasure swirled around me, and all I knew was I wanted more of him. Now. As his pants fell to his ankles, Gregory kicked off his shoes and stepped out and away from his wrinkled khakis. He stood before me in nothing but his grey boxer briefs and I gaped at his form.

Immaculate.

His arms, shoulders, and the tightly bunched muscles of his torso were toned from thousands of hours at the cello, more than I’d ever realized until now. They begged to be touched.

“Don’t move,” I whispered against his lips. Kissing him once, nibbling on his swollen bottom lip as I pulled away, I moved my hands to the waistband of his last article of closing.

I squatted slowly as I pulled them down, kneeling in front of him as they settled around his ankles. I led the tips of my fingers slowly up the sides of his legs, feeling goosebumps pop up as soon as I made contact. He was so ready for me, the ache between my legs made me moan as I knelt before him. I let one hand reach his hip as I slowly circled the other around him. His hips twitched as my mouth inched closer.

“Savannah.” He said my name inside of a ragged breath, stopping me less than an inch away from him.

I arched my eyebrow as I looked up at him, grinning mockingly. “I said … don’t move.”

As slowly as I could handle, I wrapped my lips around him, and let my tongue gently follow. Gregory felt for the hand I’d left on his hip and gripped it tightly as I took more of him in. As much as his size would allow before I couldn’t take anymore. He groaned in ecstasy, a deep, carnal sound that made me echo with my own delighted sound.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I pulled away, kissing from his hips up to his mouth, where he earnestly welcomed me in. I took one, two steps forward and as the backs of his legs bumped up against my mattress, he sat, his hands on my hips as my fingernails dug into his shoulders.

“Lie back,” I commanded, not breaking his fiery gaze.

“Are you … do you …”

I nodded. “Pill.” As he scooted up the bed, I climbed over his body, straddling his narrow hips.

“God …” As reticent as he was in the classroom, he seemed more at a loss for words as I leaned over him and bit his collarbone. That elicited another incoherent noise from the depths of his want.

I pulled back a little, raising myself up enough to slide onto him. I went slowly, tossing my head back and wincing before sighing in blissful relief as he filled every part of me. Once I settled all the way onto him I paused for a moment and looked at him. I was almost startled to find him staring right back at me, eyes calm as his chest rose and fell erratically.

I rocked forward and back, slowly at first, as we adjusted to each other. Our eyes never once strayed, as my movements got faster … harder. Soon, the intensity of his hands guiding my hips up and down became so much that I had to close my eyes, crying out with each hard thrust.

Leaning forward slightly, I clenched the sheets as I kissed him. This new angle of our bodies caused me to shake in anticipation of the orgasm it would bring. I worked faster, digging my knees into the bed as I pushed on him harder, making him go deeper inside me than anyone had been before. Warmth circled my insides and I knew it was only a matter of seconds.

Pressure building inside of me, I pressed my forehead into his shoulder and screamed his name as my knees went weak and the orgasm took over. Every muscle from my waist down seized around him, releasing and tightening four, five, six times as he continued to relentlessly push against me.

“God … Savannah!”

“Don’t stop!” I cried out, despite having nothing left to give.

“Roll over.” Abruptly serious through unsteady breaths, Gregory moved his hands from my hips to my shoulders.

I still felt the heat from his hands on my hips as I carefully slid off him. My insides remained on fire as I settled onto my back, anticipating his next move. The only warning I had was a flicker of desperate mischief in his eyes before he plunged into me.

“Shit!” I gripped the backs of his legs, bracing myself.

“Look at me,” he ordered as sweat trickled down his neck and chest.

My eyes were closed tight, bracing my body for the onslaught of his. It felt so good I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to break this moment.

“
Look at me.”
  A demanding rumble came from his throat.

He started working faster, his movements becoming more syncopated. As instructed, I opened my eyes. His eyes met me expectantly, waiting for me to obey him. When I did, he threw his head back and let out an animal howl, pulsing hard as he warmed me. Filled me.

Our slick skin glided across each other as he lay down on top of me. I felt his pulse against my breast and my inner thigh as we both lay in a ragged heap across my bed. I was dizzy as his mouth found my nipple and his tongue turned in lazy circles around it.

Once I regained most of my senses, I dragged my hands through his damp hair, lifting his face from my chest. It was there again. The calm. Like a quiet lake lapping onto a lonely shore, Gregory’s eyes caused me to catch my breath.

“What?” he asked, kissing the side of my breast before resting his chin there. A contented smile worked its way tentatively across his lips.

It had been happening before that moment. Feelings set in motion before I’d taken my first exam in his class, and certainly well before our first kiss. But there, with Gregory lying on top of me as he smoothed my hair away from my face, I knew.

I loved him and there was no turning back.

Ever.

No matter what.

It was a few minutes past 4:00 a.m. when we’d fallen asleep, legs wrapped around each other and my head on his chest. Dawn didn’t wait for us to be ready; it came on schedule and poured harsh light into my bedroom. I shifted, rubbing my cheek against his chest as I savored the sensation of his skin against mine.

“I love you, Savannah.” Gregory caressed my shoulder blade as he spoke.

“I love you, too.” I smiled and looked up, resting my chin on his chest.

His thumb kept moving across my skin, but his mouth was frozen in a firm line. His eyes were a mess. Tired, bloodshot, but strikingly vulnerable. He’d meant what he’d just said. I felt it in his voice, but he wasn’t looking at me.

I sat up a little, moving my head into his line of vision. “Hey …”

He sat up against the headboard, the sheet falling away from his chest, and ran a hand through his rumpled hair. “I’m sorry, Savannah.”

“What are you sorry for?” I reflexively clenched my fists, sitting up and facing him, not liking the sudden dread settling over my chest. Even though Madeline wasn’t home, I spoke in a near-whisper. “You just told me you love me.”

He clenched his jaw, as if what he was about to say hurt. “I am in love with you, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I’m sorry for that.”

I’d never been punched in the stomach before, but now I knew what it feels like. I started to pull my hand away, but inexplicably, he laced his fingers through mine. He pressed my hand tighter into his chest.

“What do you mean there’s nothing you can do about it? Why would you tell me—” I peeled my eyes away from his and sought for anywhere else to look. Anywhere except complete heartbreak that took over my life inside two seconds.

He tilted his head until I was forced to look into those blue eyes again. “I needed to be honest with you, Savannah.”

“Why?”

“I … It … it’s the right thing to do. To be honest.” His eyebrows pulled together again, as if what he was telling me was an absolute truth—even when it meant shattering someone’s heart.

“How long?” I finally managed to disentangle my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest as I wrapped the sheet around me.

“How long what?”

“Have you been in love with me, Gregory? And, why do you get to be the one to decide we can’t do anything about it?” Actively fighting tears, I took a deep breath and exhaled, puffing out my cheeks.

He responded in a stiff fashion better suited for the classroom than the bedroom. A tone that sat me up straight. “Which do you want me to answer first?”

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, searching the floor for my panties.

“Savannah … fine. I can’t do anything about it because you’re a student—”

“I’m not
your
student,” I shot back.

Finally locating my panties, I slid them on under the sheet and reached for my bra, which was sprawled across the desk.

“You know that doesn’t matter. I’m a member of the faculty and you’re a member of the student body.”

I let the sheet fall as I fastened my bra and began collecting his clothes from the floor.

“Savannah, what are you doing?” Gregory moved to the edge of the bed, watching me cautiously.

In response to his question, I picked up one of his shoes and threw it across the room. He dodged it, raising one arm to shield his head.

“You can’t
do anything
about it?” The shoe was followed by his pants, which smacked him in the face. My next words came out in a high-pitched scream. “What the
fuck
do you call what we just did?”

He didn’t respond, nor did he start getting dressed. Which prompted me to throw the other shoe.

“Get dressed if you can’t do anything about it!” I placed my hands on my hips as I tried to slow my breathing, staring at him as I clenched my teeth. I would
not
cry. Not now.

His eyes didn’t move from mine as he slowly reached for his underwear and began to pull them up. His eyes were nervous, as if he were saying in his head
she’s more scared of you than you are of her
. Then he spoke in a calm, condescending voice, like you might use with a child. “Savannah, I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”