Nothing Left to Lose (37 page)

“Well, you
can’t go with one guard so…” he trailed off, shrugging as if it was
decided.

I rolled my
eyes. “Peter’s coming too.” I pushed him away from the door gently
and took the keys from his hand, tossing them back onto the side.
“I’ll see you later.” I grinned, knowing I’d won. As I turned to
make my exit, his hand closed over my arm, holding me in place as
he put his cell phone to his ear.

“Hey, Dean, are
you taking Anna for her appointment? Yeah, Peter’s going too
though, right? Okay, well I should have been told. I don’t know why
I wasn’t informed earlier. Look, just stay with her. I want you
inside the store. No, inside! Peter can be outside. Right, I know.
Yeah fine. Call me when you leave there,” he growled into the phone
sounding a little grouchy and extremely authoritative. There was no
doubt that Ashton was in charge out of the three of them; even
though he was only twenty-one, the other two really respected him.
He disconnected the call and looked at me sternly. “Anna, you do
not leave Dean’s side. You do as you’re told, and you call me and
let me know you’re okay when you get there and as you’re leaving,”
he ordered, his face stern and warning.

I giggled. I
love the sexy SWAT agent mode he switched into sometimes. “Yes,
sir,” I purred, pursing my lips. I could see the smile tugging at
the corner of his mouth.

“I’m serious,
Anna,” he stated, looking me straight in the eyes.

I sighed. “I
know you’re serious. You only call me Anna when you’re serious. I
promise I will stay with Dean at all times, and I’ll call you when
I get there,” I reassured him, smiling.

He frowned,
still looking annoyed. “And when you leave,” he added.

I nodded,
grinning. “And when I leave,” I agreed. “If you’re really worried,
you could always call me.” I stepped forward and kissed his cheek
softly.

When he hugged
me I could feel how tense he was all over, his muscles all bunched
up and tight. “Be safe, please?” he begged.

“I will,” I
promised. “Make sure you do something fun while I’m not here. Sleep
with some girls, walk around naked, call Nate, I don’t know,” I
suggested, waving my hand in an example of the various things he
could do while he was free.

“Sleep with
some girls? You know you’re the only girl I sleep with.”

“Sorry, bad
choice of words. Go get laid, Ashton, and chill out,” I replied
grinning.

“Maybe I will,
what will you say then?” he teased.

My heart
suddenly stopped, and I got so jealous that I could feel the anger
bubbling up inside me, bursting to come out.
Holy crap, he’s not
yours, Anna! The man has needs, stop being an idiot; you don’t want
to be with him.
However, my mental scolding didn’t stop the
jealousy from brewing inside me.

“I would say,
use protection and don’t make my bed smell like sex,” I lied,
frowning, trying to sound blasé about it.

He sighed
deeply and frowned; I got the distinct impression that wasn’t the
answer he wanted. “Right. Well, be safe,” he muttered, pulling open
the front door.

I frowned
angrily at myself. What the heck was wrong with me? Why was I so
jealous? I wanted to wait outside the apartment, stalker-style, and
wait to see if a girl showed up and if she did, I wanted to rip her
head off. I took a few calming breaths and forced myself to stop
being possessive over a man that wasn’t actually mine. As I walked
out of the apartment, I could see Ashton in quiet talks with Dean
and Peter. They both looked appropriately abashed so I would
imagine they were being berated for not telling him we were
planning on going out for a while.

Without waiting
for them, I pressed the call button on the elevator and stepped in
when it opened. “You two coming or am I going on my own?” I called
teasingly as my finger hovered over the close doors button.
Ashton’s hand slammed against the door frame, holding it open as he
raised one eyebrow in silent warning and then ushered my two far
guards in with me.

As the door
closed, I winced in Dean’s direction because he was the one that
seemed to have taken the brunt of Ashton’s annoyance. “Sorry.
Thanks for doing this guys, I know he’s gonna be calling and being
a general pain in the butt until we get back.” I smiled
apologetically at the pair of them.

He shook his
head and smiled back. “Don’t worry about it, Annabelle, he’s
harmless. Well, as long as we bring you home in one piece,” he
joked as the elevator lurched down towards the parking lot
floor.

An hour and a
half later, I had everything that I wanted. “Do you guys mind
keeping all of this stuff at yours?” I asked as we pulled up at our
apartment.

Dean shrugged.
“Yeah, no probs,” he agreed, picking up the numerous bags
containing my shopping. “Come on; let’s get you back with Ashton
before he has kittens. He’s already called me eight times,” he
suggested, grinning.

As soon as I
walked through the door of our apartment, Ashton grabbed me into a
huge hug; I laughed and hugged him back as he lifted me off my feet
so he didn’t have to bend. My legs seemed to act of their own
accord as they wound around his waist, clamping myself to him
tightly. He carried me into the lounge and sat on the sofa with me
still wrapped around him, not wanting to let him go. It was weird
being without him actually; I’d missed him so much more than I
thought I would. I was certainly used to being around him all day
everyday.

“Does our bed
smell like sex?” I mumbled into the crook of his neck.

“No. I did her
up against the wall,” he answered. I laughed, but part of me was
crying out for reassurance. I pulled back to look at him and he put
his hands either side of my face, looking me right in the eyes. He
looked stressed; his hair was extra messy where he’d probably been
running his hands through it a lot. “I missed you,” he whispered. I
could see by his fierce expression that he meant it, and it made my
heart throb.

“I missed you
too,” I admitted. He smiled and pulled my face to his, planting a
soft kiss on my lips for a few seconds before pulling me into
another hug.

I sighed
contentedly against his skin of his neck as I ran my tongue over my
bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to press my mouth against his
again. His kisses sparked this needy reaction in me every time.
“So, what did you do with yourself?” I asked, making no moves to
get off his lap.

“Not much. I
watched a bit of TV, then worried about you. Went on the internet,
then worried about you again. Spoke to Nate, and oh yeah, I worried
about you some more.”

I smiled and
pulled back to look at him. “You are such an overprotective guy.
Seriously, what are you going to do with yourself in six months
when you don’t have me to worry about anymore?” I asked, genuinely
curious as to what he would do with his spare time.

“I’ll still be
worrying about you, trust me,” he answered, stroking my face.

At that moment,
my stomach growled loudly. “Wow, embarrassing. Shall we order a
pizza? Or maybe Chinese?” I asked, not wanting to cook.

“Yeah okay, I’d
probably prefer Chinese,” he agreed.

A little while
later the food arrived; I’d already changed into my lounge clothes
of tank top and sweats. We ate sitting on the sofa, watching TV,
joking around and flicking rice at each other. I hadn’t mentioned
his birthday and neither had he. He’d probably forgotten that I
even knew the date. Based on what he’d said before about not
celebrating Christmas or birthdays, I had the distinct impression
that he wasn’t expecting anything for his birthday from anyone.

When we’d
finished eating, he settled onto the sofa and found an old horror
movie for us to watch while I took the empty plates back to the
kitchen. “Come lie with me,” he suggested, holding his arms open
for me as I walked back into the room. I went to him immediately.
My body just seemed to respond to his every request; it was like I
didn’t really have a choice. Smiling to myself, I lay down next to
him on the sofa. His arms wound around me tightly, holding me
against his chest so that his whole body pressed against mine from
behind.

“I really
missed you this afternoon,” he whispered.

His words hit
me harder than I ever expected them to. “I missed you too, Pretty
Boy,” I replied, snuggling into his embrace.

About half way
through the movie I lost interest in it, all because Ashton was
trailing his fingers along my upper arm. I didn’t think he was even
aware he was doing it, but my whole body was almost vibrating with
excitement. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the
smooth silkiness of his fingertips against my skin. I moved my hand
back and rested it on his thigh. Scooting backwards, I tried to get
impossibly closer to him. Because of the position we were in, I
could feel that he was starting to get a little excited downstairs.
I gulped at the feel of it as my body seemed to come alive. The
desire that I felt for Ashton frightened me, but when it hit me it
was almost as if I had no control over myself.

Holding my
breath, I rolled over to face him. He smiled that little smile that
seemed to make my stomach flutter and my body ache. Needing to be
closer, I bent my head and pressed my lips against his. As soon as
the kiss started, something inside me snapped, and all my restraint
seemed to fly out of the window. He made no moves to do anything
else other than kiss me back, the same as always, but I needed him
tonight, I couldn’t take it anymore.

Seemingly of
its own accord, my hand slid down his chest. A little shiver of
anticipation overcame me as my hand got to the waistband of his
jeans. When I pushed one finger inside, following the outline of it
across his skin, he broke the kiss and pulled back, his eyes wide
and wary.

I gulped,
meeting his bewildered eyes as the temperature in the room seemed
to increase by ten degrees – or maybe that was just my body. I
nodded in encouragement and bent forward, pressing my lips against
his again. As soon as it started, I knew the kiss was different. It
wasn’t just the usual soft, chaste kisses that he gave me
occasionally when we were at school or sometimes at home when he
seemed to forget himself, no, this one was full of fire and
passion. The small moan that he made in the back of his throat made
my body go into some sort of frenzy.

When the kiss
deepened, he moved so that he was half hovering above me, but he
still didn’t make any moves to take things further. Knowing I
needed to spell it out for him, I slid my other hand down his chest
too and got to work on his belt buckle, pulling it open before
starting on the buttons.

He grunted and
pulled back slightly, his eyes wide and shocked. “Anna… what?”

I smiled and
bit my lip; the need for something else was making me ache. I
wriggled under him. “It’s okay,” I whispered, reaching up and
gripping the back of his head, guiding his mouth back to mine
again.

Obviously
taking the hint, he kissed me back desperately as his hands finally
seemed to catch on to what I wanted. I whimpered under him, closing
my eyes as his hands traced my body slowly, slipping under my top
and finding their way to my breasts.

I couldn’t keep
still as he kissed down my neck, biting my overheated skin gently.
As I finally got the last button on his jeans undone, he groaned,
pressing against my hand. My mouth watered as I felt the hardness
of him through the material of his boxers. Thoughts of the one time
I’d been with him bombarded my brain as I longed to get closer, to
be consumed by him, to have him possess me completely.

My fingers
traced the outline of his erection as his hot mouth wandered my
body before latching onto my nipple through my bra. I gasped,
arching my back, loving the feel of it. My shyness and overthinking
mind was long gone now, only to be replaced by a needy, desperate
being that needed this to happen more than anything in the world. I
pushed my hand inside his boxers, closing my fingers around his
shaft. His whole body seemed to stiffen as he groaned. With my free
hand, I gripped the back of his hair and pulled his mouth up to
meet mine again.

As I got to
work, stroking him softly, his hand seemed to be hovering at the
waistband of my sweatpants as if undecided if he should do it or
not. I squeezed my eyes shut, lifting my hips in silent
invitation.

Just as I
thought his hesitance would drive me insane, he pushed his hand
inside slowly, trailing his palm over my thigh and squeezing my ass
gently. The kissing turned a little animalistic then as he
practically devoured me, kissing me with such intensity that if I’d
been standing, it would have knocked me clean off my feet.

He moaned into
my mouth and slipped his hand inside my underwear, tracing his
fingers over my wet folds. I wriggled, gasping as a little burst of
pleasure erupted inside me. Tingles spread across my body from
every place that his hand touched. I continued to pump him while
his hand slid further down and he slowly pushed two fingers inside
me. I moaned his name, before biting on his lip roughly in an
attempt to try and get a hold on the pleasure he was creating as he
slowly worked his fingers inside me to the same rhythm than I was
stroking him.

When he flicked
his wrist the other way around, massaging me with his thumb at the
same time, I almost lost my mind as the pleasure became almost too
much to bear – almost, but not quite.

His movements
were speeding up, his breathing coming quicker and shallower as I
sped up too, squeezing gently with each stroke. “Anna,” he murmured
against my lips as he kissed me passionately, almost making me
dizzy. I was almost there, I could feel it building. With each
thrust of his fingers, he was pushing me closer and closer to the
edge of that cliff.