November Blues (9 page)

AFTER DR. HOLLAND FINISHED HER EXAMINATION
, she snapped off her gloves and told November, “You seem to be doing fine, dear, but your blood pressure is a little higher than I'd like to see, and it's a little early for your feet to be swelling like they are. I want you to eliminate salt from your diet.”

“No salt? I'll shrivel up and die!” November wailed.

“If we don't get that blood pressure down, that's a real possibility,” the doctor warned.

“For real?”

“My job is to keep you and that baby as healthy as possible. Your job is to do your best to follow my guidelines so we don't have to worry about such serious complications, okay?”

November immediately thought of Olivia's mother and nodded. “I'm trying. I take those stupid horse vitamins every day. My mom has become a health food
addict, and I even try to exercise a little.”

“Good.” Dr. Holland scribbled notes on November's chart. “Do you have any other questions for me?”

“Uh, I don't want to sound stupid, and I read a bunch of stuff on the Internet, but it just seems amazing that a little mini-me knows what to do in there, how to grow and stuff.”

“You're right. It is incredible. I think that's why I stay in the business. The creation of life is truly awe-inspiring. Your baby has a heartbeat now, you know.”

“Really?”

“Would you like to hear it?”

“Can I?”

“Sure. Would you like your mother to come in and listen with you?”

November agreed, and her mother was called into the examining room while Dr. Holland hooked up the fetal monitor, explaining that it could both detect as well as project the sound of a tiny heartbeat.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Nelson. Are you ready?” the doctor asked.

November's mother sat down in a chair and nodded. Her face showed a mixture of excitement and resignation. “I suppose there's no turning back now. The whole idea of my daughter being pregnant is something I've had to get used to,” she admitted.

“I understand completely.”

As the doctor adjusted the dials on the machine, Mrs. Nelson asked, “Is November okay? Is the baby healthy?”

“Everything is fine right now, but I'm little concerned
about her blood pressure. I've advised her to stay away from salt.”

“Really? Is there a problem? Should I be concerned? Should we call a specialist?” Mrs. Nelson rattled off questions like machine-gun fire. “I'm looking this up on the Internet as soon as we get home.”

November put her hand on her forehead and shook her head. “Now you've done it, Dr. H. You've told the queen of healthy eating that I can't have salt. She'll be checking labels and making me eat tasteless food for the rest of my life!”

Dr. Holland laughed. “You should be thankful you have such a concerned mom, November.” To Mrs. Nelson she said, “Moderation is the key right now. I'm keeping a close watch on her.”

Mrs. Nelson didn't seem to be completely convinced, but she nodded in agreement.

Dr. Holland adjusted the ultrasound machine as well as the probe that was connected to November's belly. “Here we go.”

The room was silent for a moment, then November could hear the softest little rhythm,
LUB
-dup,
LUB
-dup,
LUB
-dup. It sounded like the heartbeat of a mouse. Dr. Holland adjusted the volume, and the rhythmic thuds almost boomed in the small room.

“Is that my baby?” November asked, her voice full of awe.

“Yes, it is.”

That's my baby!
she thought.
A real baby!
Somehow the heartbeat made it all completely real.

“How big is it?” she asked.

“About five inches long now—the size of a baking potato.”

“When do I find out if it's a boy or a girl?”

“We'll do a sonogram next month, and, if the baby cooperates, we'll find out then.”

November glanced over at her mother. She was amazed to see tears streaming down her mom's face. “Are you okay, Mom?”

Mrs. Nelson pulled a tissue from her purse and wiped her eyes. “Of course, honey. It's just…it's just so overwhelming!”

“I'm glad you came with me, Mom,” said November with feeling as the doctor unhooked the machine.

“Me too, sweetie.”

“When will I feel it move?” November asked the doctor as she touched her belly gingerly.

“Soon. It might feel like you swallowed a small fish that's wiggling around, or like there's a butterfly fluttering around in there. Did you know that the fetus can already suck its thumb?”

“Wow.”

“What can I do to help, doctor?” Mrs. Nelson asked.

“Make sure she drinks lots of water, eats several healthy meals a day, and no more fast food. We don't want this kid coming out craving burgers and fries! Also, November probably needs to take a nap after school.”

“School is almost out for the summer, so she'll have lots of time to eat well and rest.”

“What about my job at Stepping Stones summer camp?” said November. “I volunteer there every summer,
working with the disabled kids. Can I still do that?”

“Is it safe?” Mrs. Nelson asked the doctor. “Some of the clients there are heavy to lift, and some are a little hard to control. I wouldn't want November to endanger her health or the safety of the baby.”

“Oh, Mom. I always work with the three-year-olds. I'd be fine.”

“I know,” said her mother, glancing at the baby ducks in the picture on the wall. “But you know what the old people say….” She let her voice trail off.

“Disabilities are not contagious, you know,” the doctor said softly.

“Oh, I know that. In my brain I do.” She turned and faced the doctor. “Did November tell you about her older brother? He has Down syndrome.”

“Yes, it's in her medical history. Now that is something that
is
inherited and can be passed down genetically.” Dr. Holland looked directly at November's mother. “Perhaps we should schedule an amniocentesis—to make sure the baby is developing normally.”

November, who had been sitting slumped and dejected, raised her head then, silenced her mother with a glance, and told the doctor, “We'll let you know.”

The doctor jotted some information onto November's chart. “I'll leave that decision to the two of you. Maybe a summer of reading, relaxing, and light exercising might be better for all concerned,” she commented. “Maybe you can take a parenting class or a predelivery class instead. Here's a flyer on a program I think is pretty good. Call them. The more you know about what to expect, the less afraid you'll be.”

“I think we're both pretty scared. Thank you, Doctor,” Mrs. Nelson said as they got ready to leave.

“I'll see you, November, around the end of June or first week of July,” the doctor said. “Call me if you have any concerns.”

November answered, “Okay.” She picked up her purse, then hesitated and looked back at the small machine that had detected the heartbeat. “Amazing,” she whispered.

WHEN NOVEMBER AND HER MOTHER GOT
home, the telephone answering machine was blinking. November sunk down on the sofa, picked up the phone, and dialed the code to check the messages.

The first was from Dana. “Hey, girl. Just checking on you. Maybe the doctor made a mistake and you're not pregnant after all; it's just a case of too many mashed potatoes!” November grinned as she listened.

“Seriously, let me know if everything is okay, or if you need any help. I sure am glad school is almost out. When I get back from the Black College Tour—did I tell you Kofi was going in your place? Yum. A week on the road with my dude. Anyway, when we get back, I'm working at the mall. You know that new boutique store that sells the fly outfits? With my employee discount, I won't save a penny, but I sure will look good in my new rags when we bust in there as seniors!” Then there
was a silence. Dana continued, “Hey, sorry. I forgot you won't be able to wear cool clothes—at least for a while. But we'll get you hooked up after the baby is born. Don't worry. Hey, I gotta go. Kofi's on the other line. Call me when you get a chance.”

November sighed. Dana was right. Senior year. Everyone had said it would be the best time of her life. Dates. Parties. Clothes. The prom. All of it screwed up because of this.

She clicked over to the next message. This one was from Olivia, sounding a little hesitant. “Hi, November. This is Olivia. I hope your doctor visit went well. Guess what? I bought a baby memory book for you from the home shopping channel. It's so you can keep a record of everything that kid does and says and how you feel about it. I hope that's okay.”

November pictured Olivia's earnest face and smiled. She was definitely glad she'd gotten to know her better. Olivia continued, “You know, we talked a little today about shopping. Maybe one day during summer vacation, if you're not too busy, I mean, maybe me and you can go to the mall and look for a couple of maternity tops for you. Maybe even some baby clothes. But if you'd rather do that with Dana or your mom, I understand. I just thought it might be fun. I'm going to work this summer down at the public library. I work there every summer. It's quiet, nobody bothers me, and I get to read a million books. Besides, it's a nice break from all the noise of band practice. Call me if you feel like it.”

November promised herself she'd call Olivia after dinner. She clicked over to the third message. The caller ID
indicated it was from somebody named Henderson Grant, attorney-at-law.
Probably one of those annoying salesmen
, November thought. But her heart began to thud as she listened. “This message is for April and November Nelson. We would like to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss the future of your unborn child. Our clients, Brock and Marlene Prescott, would like to make this process painless as well as profitable for you. A meeting has been set for June twenty-eighth, at ten in the morning, in our offices downtown. We look forward to working with you.”

Stunned, November held the phone in her hand until it started making that irritating beeping noise to remind her to hang it up. “What the hell…?” she muttered.

Her hands trembled as she redialed for the rest of the messages. There was one left, and it was from Jericho. “Hey, November. I just want to give you a heads-up. My uncle Brock and aunt Marlene have lost their minds—both of them. I guess you know they found out about the baby. News like that travels fast. Anyway, Aunt Marlene has decided she wants custody of the baby when it's born. Their lawyer is gonna call your mother soon—offer you money to give up the baby. I just wanted to warn you. Take care, girl. This is a mess! Catch you later.”

November stood up, gulping hard.
I don't get it. Why would they do this?
Her stomach churned so badly she felt like she had to go to the bathroom.

Finally she called to her mother, who was upstairs using the computer. “Mom, I think we have a problem. A big one.”

In an instant her mother's feet were pounding down the stairs. “Do you feel sick?” she asked frantically.

“No, not that kind of trouble, Mom.”

“Then what's up?” her mother asked, hurrying into the room.

“Josh's parents found out about the baby. They've hired a lawyer. Can you believe that? They want us to meet with them next month. I think they want to offer me money to give them the baby.” November was surprised at how furious she felt. “Is that even legal?”

“What? Why would they do that?”

“I don't know…Yeah, I do. Because it's part of Josh. Maybe they think I don't want the baby. Maybe they think they'd be better parents.” November looked at her mother in anguish.

Her mother took November's face in her hands. “Sweetheart, calm down. I'm not one hundred percent legally sure, but they can't simply walk in and claim the child,” she told her. “Not unless you want to give the baby up to them voluntarily.”

“What? Give it away?”

Her mother paused. “It
is
an option,” she said hesitantly.

November stopped cold. What was her mother saying? “What do you mean? That the baby would be better off with
them
than
me
?”

“No, of course not. But…maybe it's something to consider.” Mrs. Nelson sat down next to November.

November glared at her mother. She was suddenly, completely, utterly infuriated. “How can you even consider giving up your grandchild? What kind of monster are you?”

“Just listen, November. You're so young, with such a great future ahead of you,” her mother said in her most soothing voice. “When all this is over, it's not impossible that you could still get accepted to Cornell, or another fine university. Maybe letting them adopt the baby might not be such a bad idea.”

“How can you say that? You talk like after the baby is born, this will all go away like a bad dream! How
dare
you take their side!” November's eyes flashed.

Her mother looked at her for a moment and touched her daughter's hair. “Not at all, sweetie. This situation is just so difficult.” She choked back tears.

November pushed her mother's hand away. “This is
my
gut that's stretching, and
my
nose that keeps getting stopped up. It's rough for
me
, not you!” she screamed.

“And if you had kept your pants on, none of this would have happened!” her mother yelled back. She stopped then, and they stared at each other in shock.

“Well, I'm glad you finally said it!” November shrieked, jumping up off the couch. “You think I'm a slut!”

Suddenly the room was very quiet. Neither mother nor daughter said anything. Both of them were crying.

Finally Mrs. Nelson said, her voice steady again, “We're going to get through this together, baby girl. Together, you hear?” She reached out to her daughter.

November fell into her mother's arms. “Oh, Mom. I wish Josh was alive and none of this had happened.” She cried for a long time.

When November's shoulders stopped heaving, her mother said, “You don't have to decide anything right
away. Let's think about this, and pray about it, okay?”

November sniffed and took a deep breath. “What about finishing high school? Going away to college? That's pretty much screwed up if I try to raise this kid myself.”

“Not necessarily.”

“What do
you
think I should do, Mom?” November asked glumly.

“It's your decision, not mine. Just like you made the decision to make the baby, it will be your choice to determine what happens to it.”

“I didn't
decide
to make a baby!” November replied, her anger flaring up again. “I didn't plan on any of this!”

“Well, it's time for some serious planning now. I love you, November, and, yes, I love that child you're carrying. But we're talking about a life here. Sometimes doing the right thing is the most difficult decision to make.”

“How can you be so cold?” November looked at her mother pleadingly.

“I'm going to try to keep
my
emotions out of this. It's up to you, November. You have to think about your life, and the life of that baby—not just the first year when it's cute and cuddly, but also through grade school and chicken pox and knee scrapes and braces and college—everything will be
forever
affected by what you decide.”

“I'm so mixed up, Mom. How do I know what's the right thing to do?”

“Take your time. You'll know.”

November had never felt so confused and alone. Forever was a long, long time.