November Rain (6 page)

“Don't want you to swallow, okay? Not without a condom.” Joe lifted Elias off by the chin. He stared down at Elias, eyes burning with emotion. “Now be a good boy and lick my ass while I come.”

Elias whimpered, unable to move fast enough. His cock caught under him as he got to the right spot, but Elias loved the twist of pain. It made him feel trapped as he pushed his face into Joe's crease and kissed every bit of skin he could reach.

“Fuck. Yeah.” Joe's butt cheeks tightened, pushing against Elias's tongue. “God. Yeah…”

Unable to still his hips, Elias bucked into the sheets. He spilled a second before Joe did, rutting in his own wetness while he felt the splatter of Joe's pleasure hit his cheek.

No, there was nothing wrong about this. Nothing could possibly be bad or evil about what he and Joe were doing because Elias loved Joe. Elias knew it now beyond a doubt, and all he could do was hope Joe loved him back.

“Fuck.” Joe rubbed Elias's head, scrubbing rough fingers through his hair. “So damn good.” Joe straightened his legs so they lay in a V on either side of Elias's shoulders.

He could have slept the whole night like that, with his face resting on Joe's hip and waiting for Joe to wake up and talk to him, or ask for something.

“We should wash off.” Joe chuckled. “You especially. I think I got some in your hair.”

Elias smiled a kiss into Joe's skin. His thigh was strong and hairy, twice the thickness of Elias's, and for some reason Elias found that contrast more arousing than he could explain. “Yes. I'll shower.” Elias pushed up to standing.

Joe watched Elias with a strange expression. Joe's forehead was creased and his eyes assessing. His lip tugged up in the corner, and it was only then that Elias realized Joe was looking at Elias's cock.

“Come over here.” The slant of Joe's gaze made it clear what he wanted. “Let me look at you.” He propped himself on an elbow so his face was at the level of Elias's hips.

Joe reached slowly to Elias's cock, giving him every opportunity to say no. If Elias asked, Joe would have stopped, and that was why Elias only closed his eyes when Joe tucked two fingers under Elias's softened shaft.

“Look at me.” Joe's voice was a tease. He pressed the gentlest of kisses to Elias's cap. If Joe minded the flavor, he didn't show it. He gave Elias a wink. “Go take a shower.”

Joe must not have known what he'd done with that kiss or not understood why Elias had stopped breathing. He'd put a brand on Elias, made a mark deeper than the cut of a circumcision blade.

Elias started the shower with shaking hands. Henri's admonishments to go slow, to play hard to get, rang horribly true.

It was too late, though. Elias had already fallen.

Chapter Eleven

“Hey! Joe!” One of the younger officers opened the door so Joe could enter the building.

“Hey.” Joe waved him off, not having the energy to deal with every person who wanted to pat his back or say hello. He swung, lurching forward with each step to get to Sergeant Mainer's office. At a clip, he could move as fast as Elias. If it was starting to sting Joe's shoulder and give him carpal tunnel, then…fuck it. He had a few painkillers stowed away in case of emergency.

He rapped on Mainer's door, hard enough to rattle the frame and show his boss he was ready to be a useful member of the force again.

“Come in.” Mainer opened the door right when Joe had grabbed the handle, making him stumble.

Joe ground his teeth. “Hey, boss.” He noticed his partner Wade in the corner sitting on a folding chair across from Mainer's desk. “Wade.” Joe wished he didn't need to do this with an audience. Begging to get back on the job would be embarrassing enough without Wade and his opinions.

“Hey, Joe.” Wade offered a big smile. He and Joe hadn't seen eye to eye when they first started working together. A cop and a registered counselor were a weird mix for a team, but Joe'd learned a lot through working in Crisis Intervention with Wade. Unfortunately, one of those things was that Wade couldn't mind his own business.

“I thought I'd come in on this, since it affects me.” Wade crossed one ankle over the opposite knee. His smile said,
Welcome back
, but his posture said,
If you thought you could weasel out of talking to me first, you can suck it.

“No problem.” Joe gave his most casual shrug. He wished he had Elias's grace, because he dropped the last couple inches into the chair and winced at the way it twisted his knee. Wade and Mainer studied him like they were taking notes.

“Thanks for coming in, Joe.” Mainer went to the back of his desk, his steps light and making Joe envious for no good reason. “I wanted to talk to you about your recovery plans and figure out how to work your schedule around that. What days are you in physical therapy?”

Joe shifted in his seat. “I haven't had a chance to call the guy yet.” Sure the doc in the ER had told Joe he'd need PT and had even given him a few numbers. But they told that to everyone, didn't they? Unless a guy was some kind of elite athlete, PT seemed unnecessary. “I'm sure I'll be back on my feet in a few months.”

Mainer shared a knowing glance with Wade. “I have your discharge report.” Mainer picked up a fax Joe'd had the hospital send the station when he'd filed for sick leave. “It recommends starting PT as soon as you're no longer in acute pain.” Mainer gave Joe's leg a meaningful glance. “And you don't seem in acute pain anymore.”

On reflex, Joe covered his thigh with his hand. “Oh, come on. PT costs a fortune. You know that. A couple of squats and a little time to recover behind a desk, I'll be fine.”

“I don't need you behind a desk. I need you in the field with Wade. We're short-staffed without you, but it matters more on the streets than in the office.”

“Alegré is doing his best.” Wade leaned forward in his chair, frowning like he felt bad for saying anything negative about the new guy on the team. “But he's not you, Joe. The faster you get better, the faster I can have my partner back.”

Joe wanted to snap that Wade could go to hell, but Joe would feel like crap if Wade or even Alegré got hurt. “I'll make some calls, okay. Not sure when a doc'll be able to fit me in…”

“Use our guy.” Mainer pushed a card across the table. “He's over at Swedish and sees a lot of folks on the force. Plus this doc's got a team under him. He'll fit you in immediately and get you on some kind of schedule right away.”

Reluctantly, Joe picked up the card.
Doctor Craig Soren
. “So what you're saying is I can't come back to work until I start physical therapy?”

“PT takes a lot of effort.” Wade bounced his knee like he knew how annoyed he was making Joe. “When my wife threw out her back skiing, she was in there three times a week for at least a month.”

Joe struggled not to roll his eyes. He'd thought Wade's wife was a whiner back then, and Joe's opinion hadn't changed. “Once I talk to this guy, I can come back?”

Mainer frowned, but nodded. “I'd say yes. But it'll be on a reduced schedule until your doctor says you're done with therapy. I know the deal with state insurance. It should cover every last bit of PT Doctor Soren assigns. If you have trouble filing—”

“I'm good.” Joe pushed out of his chair, the jolt of pain in his knee all the worse since he knew this Doctor Soren was going to get on his case about it. Joe wasn't an idiot. He knew the damage to his knee was the result of overworking the one good leg he still had. “So, I'll give you a call once I get in to see the doc.” He nodded goodbye at his boss and made his way to the door.

Wade followed behind him, and Joe could tell by his partner's breathing that Wade was gearing up for more conversation. In the narrow hallway, there was no way to outpace Wade's strides.

“Hey.” He landed a hand on Joe's shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Don't be pissed. We only want what's best for you.”

Given Joe was barely able to stand without pain and had just been told he was too much of an invalid to fill out paperwork, he wasn't in any mood to hear Wade's half-assed apology. “Whatever. Don't worry about it.”

Joe started his walk again, but Wade kept at his side, holding the door open for Joe to get out on the stoop.

“Are you doing okay around the house? You never answered my texts, but I figured you'd call if you needed anything.”

“I'm fine. My boyfriend's been helping me out.” Joe might be a mess, but at least he still had a hot young thing panting after him. Wrong it might be, but that ego boost was the only thing holding him together.

“That's good, then. At least you'll have someone to drive you to PT.” Wade chuckled, but Joe wasn't in the mood for any cheering up.

“I'll see you when I get a therapy schedule from the doc.” Joe pulled out his phone. He should have called the cab company from inside where he could stay dry. But if Mainer didn't want him back at work, Joe wasn't going to hang around the hallways looking for sympathy conversation.

“You need a ride home?”

“No.” Phone to his ear, Joe glanced at Wade. “Do you mind if I make a call?”

Wade hesitated, but in the end said, “Yeah. No worries. I'll see you soon, I guess.”

“I guess.” The cab company's number was ringing, and Joe was glad when Wade disappeared inside the building.

“This is Orange Cab. What is the address of your pick up?”

Joe told the canned-sounding voice where he was.

“We don't have any cars in the area right now. Your wait will be forty-five minutes. Is that okay?”

With a growl, Joe rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. I guess I can wait.”

“So, when are we going to meet this girlfriend of yours?” Solomon leaned against the doorjamb, watching Elias fold his shirts.

“I told you. I'm not seeing anyone.” Elias had no idea how long he could go on like this. Of course his brother would wonder when Elias didn't come home most nights. “I've been staying at friends' houses.”

“Why?” His brother stepped into Elias's room, quietly shutting the door behind him. “Is something going on? Or are you bothered by Sara? I know she's been depressed.”

“No.” Elias shook his head. His sister-in-law had actually been somewhat happier lately. At least it seemed like it.

The sound of a vacuum cleaner rose over the CD of Ethiopian music Sara was playing. It wasn't the type of thing Elias normally listened to, but Elias bobbed in time to the beat. “I like her. I always have.”

Solomon lowered his eyebrows, giving a quick nod. Elias had never been sure how his brother felt about his bride. Sometimes Elias even suspected that Sara's unhappiness rose in part from being less than satisfied with her marriage. Still, Solomon would never say anything negative about her.

“Maybe she likes having the house to herself.” Elias motioned his brother closer. “And for you two to be alone.”

“Perhaps.” His brother's shrug was nervous, one of those gestures that made Elias wonder what happened between Solomon and Sara behind closed doors.

“Are you okay?” Elias would hate to have missed some problem with his brother because he was busy with Joe.

“No.” Solomon stood taller, crossing his arms. Then, with a reluctant dart of his eyes, he added, “Though I thought Sara wanted a child. She was so unhappy it hadn't happened yet, and then…” He glanced behind him, at the door and the humming of the vacuum cleaner and the twang of the music.

“She doesn't want a baby?” Elias had no idea if his brother meant his wife was no longer interested in sex or whether she'd simply stopped talking about a child. Elias wasn't even sure Sara knew about birth control, though she must since Solomon had taken her to a doctor for a checkup when she first arrived in Seattle.

“I'm just confused.” His brother pinched his lips together. Solomon so seldom showed weakness. He'd taken on the role of head of household when their parents moved back to Africa, and never seemed like he couldn't handle care of a wife. Now, as Elias considered the responsibility Solomon had taken on, Elias realized the last year and a half must have been as hard for Solomon as it was for Sara.

“What can I do?” Elias put a hand on his brother's arm. They were almost the same height, though his brother was slightly broader shouldered.

“I don't know.” Solomon frowned. “You'll be here for Thanksgiving, right? I remember she liked that last year. You could invite a friend, maybe? She needs to be around people.”

The only person Elias could think to invite was Joe. Unfortunately, he was the last person Elias could imagine introducing to his family. “I'll be there.”

“Thanks.” Solomon gave Elias a rare, though sad, smile.

Chapter Twelve

Joe frowned out the car window. “You didn't have to bring me.” He could have taken a taxi or the bus. Though the bus driver would lower the handicapped step, making Joe feel even crappier.

“It's no problem.” Elias shot him a smile. There may have been something sad in his expression, but Joe couldn't name it. “And your doctor said to bring a friend, right? Someone who could help you at home?”

Joe's breath came out a growl. He'd told that to Elias in frustration, not because Joe intended to follow doctor's orders.

Swedish Hospital loomed before them, a sprawling tan building. Elias pulled to the drop-off point.

“I'm late. Just leave me in front.” Joe started to open the door. “It's Doctor Soren on the fourth floor, but like I said—you don't have to come.”

“It's okay.” Elias's jaw was tight. “I'll come up after I park.”

Joe bet he was being unbearable, and the fact that Elias seemed upset came as no surprise. “Hey.” He laid a hand over Elias's. “I don't mean to take this out on you. You know that, right?”

Elias's gaze shot past Joe. A nurse wearing a headscarf was standing in front of the building, checking her cell phone.

“You know her?” Joe asked.

“No.”

Joe tried not to be annoyed by how weird Elias was acting. Joe wanted to snap at him that being in the closet with family was one thing. Doing it around total strangers was something else entirely. And Joe had been trying to apologize, something he did as little as possible.

“I've got to go.” Joe knew he sounded gruff, and he ignored the hurt expression on Elias's face to get out of the car.

“See you inside.”

Joe crutch-walked to the double doors leading into the building. He could have gotten one open, but the nurse pressed the handicapped button, and both doors swung inward.

The check-in line took forever. Eventually Joe verified that yes, he had insurance, and yes, he was in their system so they could track him down and shake money out of him if his insurance didn't pay.

Next came the challenge of finding Dr. Soren's office amid the corridors that all looked the same shade of white on white. By the time Joe got to the right place, his knee ached, his shoulder burned and his calluses were inflamed from gripping the crutches' handholds.

Elias sat in the waiting area.

“Find parking okay?” Joe hurt all over, but he tried to be amicable.

“Yes. Fine.” Elias bit the edge of his fingernail, but then dropped his hand to the side. “I'm going to have to spend more time at home for a little while. My home, where my brother and his wife live.”

Elias's segue caught Joe off-guard. “What…why?” Joe's stomach lurched into his throat. He couldn't handle this. Not today.

“I…” Elias must have noticed Joe's frown, because he looked at his lap where he was twining his fingers together. “I like spending time with you, but I can't move in. My brother and his wife—”

“Did you see me asking you to move in?” Joe snapped, frustrated and leg aching. “We've only been together a few weeks. Sleep wherever you want.”

Elias's eyes clouded with hurt.

Fuck, maybe Joe shouldn't have said that.

“Joe Klamath?” The nurse stood expectantly by the door, clipboard in hand.

“Yeah. That's me.” Joe shuffled forward. He wished Elias didn't look so upset, but there was nothing Joe could do about it. “I'm coming.”

“And your partner?”

“I'm…” Elias stood from his seat.

“You may as well come.” Joe swung on his crutches at top speed. The faster they got this over with, the faster Joe could get out of there. Get back to his place for a quickie to smooth things over.

Elias followed. Once they scrabbled into the office the nurse pointed out, he took a seat in the corner.

“Hi. I'm Dr. Soren.” A man stood from his desk, towering a half foot taller than Joe.

“Joe Klamath.” Joe shook his hand. “And this is Elias Abraham.” He jerked his head in Elias's direction.

“Pleased to meet you.” The doctor reached out and greeted Elias as well. “Thanks for coming in.” The doc sat down, gesturing for Joe to do the same. “We'll go into the PT room in a moment and start our assessment, but I wanted to get a few things cleared up ahead of time.” He was all business as he pulled out forms. “I've spoken with Sergeant Mainer, and I'll relay to him directly your treatment plan, as well as my permission once you're ready to return to work.” Dr. Soren pushed a form across the table, along with a pen. “But I need you to sign the release waiver.”

“Fine.” Joe figured there was no use arguing. “But I can work in the office pretty soon, right? I'm getting around fine now.”

Dr. Soren raised an eyebrow at Joe's crutches. “Those are meant only for use with an acute injury. We're going to take you off those today and work on getting you walking with the use of a cane.”

“Take me off them?” Joe grabbed a crutch and held it in front of him. He might not have liked walking with them, but at least he could get around.

“And Elias will be available to help you around the house?” The doc turned in Elias's direction, smiling. “You live together?”

“No.” Joe jumped in before Elias had a chance to answer. No way did Dr. Soren need to hear about their discussion in the waiting room. “He just gave me a ride.” That was a cruel way to put it, Joe guessed, but Elias had been the one to pull away first.

“Well, do you spend a lot of time together? Enough so Elias could help you with household chores and make sure you keep aware of your limits?”

Joe ground his teeth together because he didn't want to answer.

“Yes. I can.” Elias's voice was quiet, maybe even shaky. Joe couldn't even look at him.

“He doesn't have to.” Joe gritted his teeth.

Dr. Soren exchanged glances with Elias. They were forming a pact, Joe realized, allying with each other like Joe was a toddler having a temper tantrum.

“I could arrange for a home health aide to come to your house every other day to check in. How about that?” The doc made his threat with a cocked eyebrow and a breezy tone, and Joe knew in a heartbeat the guy was serious.

“Fine.” Joe crossed his arms. He would have crossed his legs too, but he hadn't regained that ability after the injury.

“Good. I'll go and round up my nurse and my student, and we'll go out to the PT room and get started.” Doctor Soren smacked his hands together with sadistic enthusiasm and left.

The room was unnaturally quiet without Dr. Soren taking up so much of the space. Elias was giving Joe the silent treatment.

“Listen. I didn't mean to be a dick about us not living together—”

“No.” Elias cleared his throat, like speaking after such a long bout of silence was difficult. “No, we don't live together. You were right to tell him.”

Joe wished Elias had fought back, made some snarky or sarcastic comment about Joe being in denial. Or at the very least told Joe he was being an asshole.

Then Joe could have argued, held his ground. He would have had something to push against.

All at once, the weight of Joe's injury hit him. But it wasn't just the injury, it was everything. Nearing forty and being broken, and now Elias deciding he didn't want to spend nights at Joe's house…

Joe's nose got hot and itchy, and it took him a second to figure out what that feeling was before his vision blurred. He wasn't fucking crying. He wasn't and he wouldn't. Joe blinked, wiping his face. Thank God for his pride—only one tear escaped.

Doctor Soren gave Elias a nonstop stream of information. Balance and muscle groups and exercises Elias hadn't known existed. Elias kept his gaze on the floor as he listened. He knew Joe didn't want to be looked at.

There were at least twenty other people in the physical therapy room. Seven others in recovery like Joe and a host of assistants pacing them through exercises. The sound of fans and grunts filled the room, since there was a distinct lack of music. Maybe the doctors had thought it would be distracting, but Elias would have appreciated some background noise to cover the litany of whimpers and curse words.

“Put weight on slowly. Don't try to hop through it.” Dr. Soren went to Joe's side, his voice low and soothing. “You can step on your heel, work through the extension…”

Joe clutched two handrails for balance, but Elias still held his breath when Joe attempted a single step.

“There!” Dr. Soren praised Joe even though Joe growled out a
fuck
. “See? That's better. You've been trying not to use those muscles, but you have to. They'll atrophy otherwise.”

The rest of the physical therapy session went much the same, with Joe cursing at the staff and them calmly forcing him to do exercises. It was like watching the man he loved being tortured, but Elias could tell it was helping. By the end, Joe took tentative steps using the cane Doctor Soren provided.

“You ready to go?” Joe led the way out of the PT room, wearing a permanent scowl.

“Yes.” Elias followed him to the desk, where a pretty woman in scrubs handed Joe more papers.

“Can you come in first thing tomorrow? We open at ten.” Her smile was pleasant and expectant.

“I guess.” Joe took more papers, though he didn't seem able to let go of the cane to put them in the plastic bag.

“Can I?” Elias reached for the documents. He knew Joe would be grumpy about it, but at this point Joe seemed upset about everything. Falling, especially out in the open, would hurt Joe's pride worse than simply giving Elias things to carry.

“Yeah, fine. Whatever.”

“Do you want me to pull the car around front so you don't have to walk to the parking lot?” Elias's frustration rose. He understood Joe was upset, but Elias hated being on the receiving end of Joe's bad mood.

“I'll be fine.”

“If you say so.” Elias couldn't keep the exasperation out of his voice. They rode the elevator in stony silence.

When they got to the parking garage, Joe blew out a sigh. “Listen. Come over to my place.”

Elias was as scared to say yes as he was to say no. Either seemed like it would make Joe crumble.

“Are you sure?” Elias unlocked his car. He would have offered to help Joe climb inside if Elias didn't think that would earn him another harsh reprimand.

“Yeah.” Joe rubbed his face. “I want you to. Will you?”

Elias swallowed past a lump in his throat. He knew Joe was trying to make things better, but Elias didn't trust Joe to be thinking clearly. “Okay. I guess I can.”

They got in the car, and Elias drove up Capitol Hill. When he pulled in front of Joe's apartment, he took Elias's hand.

“I'm…” Joe looked miserable. “Listen, just come up.”

“Okay.” Elias's voice came out a whisper, but he couldn't think of what else to say. He supposed once he and Joe were naked and clutching one another, the day's pain would be washed away. Still, Elias couldn't help but wonder if Joe's strong arms could fix things this time.