O' for the love of Shakespeare (14 page)

“Mother, you have my father much offended.” Hamlet
spits back at his mother.

“Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.”

“Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue.”

“Why, how now, Hamlet?”  Gertrude’s eyes are
full of concern for her son.

“What’s the matter now?”

“Have you forgot me?”  His mother implores
Hamlet.

“No, by the rood, not so. You are the queen,
your husband’s brother’s wife, and—would it were not so! —you are my mother.” 
Hamlet’s breathing is erratic and he is flushed with anger.

I open my eyes letting the scene wash away with
the water.  I wonder what Shakespeare would make of the mother and son
relationship downstairs.  I wrap myself in a towel and sprawl out on one of the
beds.  I check my phone but no one has tried to contact me.

Act IV Scene I

'Some Cupid kills with
arrows, some with traps.'  Much Ado About Nothing

It has certainly been an eventful few days away
and although I am dreading going down to dinner shortly, I will be sad to
leave.  Especially when I think about going back to work on Tuesday.  I wonder
how many work emails are currently stacked up waiting for my return in my Inbox. 
Try not to think about work yet, you can worry about that on Tuesday morning on
the same train, at the same time as every other day of my life, going to the
same place I always go to. 

I decide to wear a pair of black skinny jeans and
after holding up a couple of different tops I go with a smart short sleeved black
shirt.   Pinning up one side of my hair I tidy up my slightly smudged mascara.

Walking down the stairs I hear giggling coming
from the dining room.  Helen and Chris are sitting at one of the tables deep in
conversation.

“Am I late?”  Hoping to alert them to my
presence.

“No we have just come in from town, just going
up now to quickly get changed.”  Helen smiles at me as she stands from her
seat.

“Oh yes.”  Chris quickly stands as if he has
just suddenly woken up.

“Be down in a sec.”  And off they go hand in
hand up to their room.

They have barely left the room when Angela
walks in from the kitchen.

“Oh Jane, great, help me pull these tables
together.”  We manoeuvre the tables to make one large table big enough for at
least six people.  It makes the room look so much bigger having just the one
table rather that than the few little ones.

“Is that OK?”

“Yes I think that will do, glass of wine?”

“I won’t say no, thank you.”  I follow Angela
through to the kitchen.

“
Rosé
?”

“Lovely thanks, has Ben gone home now?”

“No he is still about – somewhere - he’s
staying for dinner.”  Angela pours two large glasses of wine and hands one to me. 
Great I’ve got to sit through the meal with Ben, I was hoping for a relaxing
evening on my last night here.  As if reading my thoughts Angela looks at me
with a nervous, concerned expression.

“So how did things go after I left?”

“He’s very upset; he feels I am going against
the memory of his dad.”

“Please tell me he hasn’t persuaded you to stay,
doing all this on your own?”

“He tried but I think he is starting to
understand just how very unhappy I am here.”  Poor Angela she looks so sad. 
“I’m disappointed that I couldn’t make this work for me, for all of us.  It
would have been so lovely to have been able to make a success of this.  To see
Bill’s dream become reality.”  She looks around the room looking very lost. 
“I’ve failed.”  I’m sure these are Ben’s words that he has filled her head
with.

“You are not a failure Angela, please do not
think that.  You are so incredibly brave for even attempting to do all this on
your own.  I know I couldn’t.  It’s your turn now to do something that you love
and to enjoy life.”

“But where do I go from here?”  She looks lost.

“That’s the good bit, you can do whatever you
want to do.  Don’t think about anyone else, it’s your time now.  Ben’s big
enough to fend for himself, I’m sure.”

“I guess.”  Although she still doesn’t look
convinced.  “I’ve told Ben that I will take it one step at a time, I’m going to
ask an estate agent to come round over the next few weeks and take it from
there.  Perhaps I will have an epiphany during that time as to where I go from
here.”

“It will all work out, somehow.”  I reach out
and squeeze her hand.  She rewards me with a smile.  “Dinner smells
delicious.”  My stomach rumbles in agreement.

“It’s nearly ready, actually you could do me a
favour?”

“Of course, anything.”

“Can you go find that son of mine, I think he
is outside in the courtyard.  Can you tell him dinner is nearly ready and I
need his help to carve the meat?”

“I can help to carve the meat.”  And I really
don’t want to go find Ben.

“No it’s our little tradition the man of the
family always carves the meat.  Please?”

“OK, OK I’m going.”  I hold up my hands in
defeat and walk to the back door.  “This way?”

“Yes that’s right thank you.  Oh and Jane,
don’t be too hard on Ben he loved his dad so dearly, they were best friends. 
He has I know come off as being rude but his words are coming from grief, that
is not the real Ben.  He is very hurt at the moment.”  She says sadly.

I walk out in to a beautiful little stone
courtyard.  There are little terracotta pots with pink, red and yellow flowers
doted around the edge.  The courtyard is an L shape and as I walk around the
corner I see two legs stretched out.  Ben is sat on a bench leaning back
against the wall, eyes closed, enjoying the late afternoon sunshine that has
finally appeared.  The day has turned out nice again. 

“Your mother wants you in for dinner.”  One eye
opens slightly.  He gives me a brief smile and then closes his eye again.

“Is that right?”  He says smirking at me.

“Yes apparently you are the only one who can
carve the meat.”

“I’m the only one?”  Is he being obtuse on
purpose?

“Oh for goodness sake, do what you want.  I’m
going in to help your mum.”  He remains in his sunbathing spot.  I make a loud,
audible huff and walk back to the kitchen.

“Did you find him?”  Angela is standing at the
cooker stirring what must be gravy.

“Yes but not that it did much.  He is beyond
annoying and rude, so rude.  Sorry I know he is your son and he’s still
grieving like you said, but he is horrible.”  I stand twisting my hands together.

“Well.”  She’s smiling which is a little odd as
I just told her what an idiot her son it.  “Would you set the table for me
please?  Cutlery is in there and you should find some napkins in the sideboard
in the dining room.”  She goes back to the hob to check on the vegetables,
still smiling to herself.

I slide open the cutlery draw and collect up
all the knives and forks.  I’m pleased to find that Angela has some dessert
forks, these will work perfectly for the cheesecake that I have for pudding.  I
push open the door to the dining room with my bum as I do not have any hands
free.  Going in backwards I hear them speaking before I see them.  Hearing my
name, I pause, and take a slight step back in to the kitchen so that they
cannot see me.  Leaving the door ajar just enough so I can hear the
conversation I stand like a statue holding the cutlery against my chest.  It is
Chris and Helen, why are they talking about me?

“It’s obvious to us but clearly not to Jane.” 
What’s obvious?  That I have social awkwardness problems?

“I feel sorry for him, especially as he knows
she’s been seeing that actor.”  Helen’s obviously talking about me and Malcolm
but it still doesn’t make sense.  “How he spoke about her this morning at
breakfast he definitely seems to be crushing on her.”

“Crushing on her?  How old are we Helen?”

“I’m crushing on you.  Bad.”  I can hear them
kissing, urgh gross.  Helen laughs.

“Well hopefully he will get the courage to talk
to her before she goes home tomorrow.  He’ll regret it if he doesn’t say how
much he likes her.”

“But if Jane is with the actor, I don’t want
Ben to get hurt.  He spits insults at Jane like he has all the bravado in the
world but he would be crushed if she turned him down.”  Holy fuck.  Ben likes
me.  No way.  They must have this wrong.  He was acting different in the
courtyard just now.  I mean he smiled at me for starters.

I’m suddenly aware of movement just behind me
and I feel a hand briefly touch my elbow.

“Hey you OK?”  I make a big sigh of relief,
it’s just Angela.

“Yep just going, thought I’d forgotten
something.”  I force the door open as loudly as possible to alert Helen and
Chris I’m coming in.

“Jane.”  They both seem to jump at the same
time.

“Oh hi, just coming to set the table. You both
OK?”  I watch Helen to see if she gives anything away.  Maybe they were making
fun of me.  Maybe they knew I was standing there.  Helen’s face is completely
clear she just stands smiling at me.  Although I do notice that she reaches
down to squeeze Chris’ hand.

“Do you need a hand with those?”  Chris steps
forward.

“Yes great thank you.”  I hand Chris the forks
and I start walking round the table putting out the knives and dessert forks. 
I kneel down in front of the sideboard and pull out some napkins and also
placemats.  “There that looks OK doesn’t it?”

“I’m starving, dinner smells delicious.”  Helen
stands rubbing her stomach obviously trying to quieten the rumble.

“I don’t think we have too long to wait.  Ben
was just about to come in to carve the meat.”  I look up quickly trying to
catch any unspoken message pass between them.  There is nothing though and I
start to think maybe I misheard or even imagined the conversation.

“Great, we didn’t eat at lunch to make sure we
saved enough room for dinner.”  Chris smiles.

“I had a sneaky scone to get me through.”  And
it was delicious.

“Good idea, last thing I had was breakfast.” 
Helen once again rubs her tummy trying to obviously contain her hunger.

“Well I picked up something in town for pudding
so make sure you save room for that too.”

“Lovely thank you, shall we go see if we can do
anything?”  Helen is clearly trying to speed things up.

“Yes OK.”  So we leave Chris in the dining room
and go to the kitchen.

Ben is standing at the counter with his shirt
sleeves rolled up above his elbows carving the large joint of lamb.  The smell
makes my mouth water.  It obviously has an effect on Helen too as she quickly
calls out, “can we do anything?”

“Oh hi girls, yes you can.”  Angela starts to
ladle different delicious looking things in to serving bowls and plates.  Ben
turns and looks at me in the eye, not breaking eye contact he tilts his head
ever so slightly and smiles.  This is so confusing.  I try to ignore him and
look back at Angela.  “Here you are Helen.”  Angela hands Helen a little boat
filled with mint sauce and a large serving bowl covered with a lid.  “If we pop
everything on the table we can all help ourselves then.  That OK?”

“Hmm mmm.”  Helen’s eyes do not leave the food
bowls.

“Anything for me?” 

“Yes one second Jane, I’ll just get the roast
potatoes from the oven.”  Helen walks through to the dining room while I stand
awkwardly in the kitchen watching Angela transfer the golden potatoes from the
roasting tin to a large serving platter.  I try to keep my eyes fixed on
Angela’s back but find myself now and then looking back over at Ben who is
still carefully carving the meat.  Angela tops the roast potatoes off with
eight large Yorkshire puddings.

“They look amazing.”  Before I am even through
the dining room door Helen is hovering around me and, like a stealthy ninja,
pinches a Yorkshire pudding and starts to blow on pieces as she breaks it apart
and starts to eat.  “You really are hungry?”

“Famished.”  The look of pure happiness as she
scoffs the Yorkshire pudding makes me laugh.  Helen sinks on to a dining room
chair next to Chris, but I go back to the kitchen to see if there is anything
else to bring through.

“That was quick, here are the plates but you’ll
need a towel to hold them with as they are very hot.”  Angela hands me a
patterned tea towel first then a stack of plates.  As soon as I take hold of
them I can feel the heat seeping through the towel.  I step up the pace to the
dining room trying to beat the burn.  I set a plate at each setting.

Ben walks in holding the cutting board with
slices of the most amazing slices of tender lamb spread across it.  He places
this in pride of place in the centre of the table.  He goes back to the kitchen
but quickly returns with two bottles of wine one red and one white.  Once he has
set these on the table he takes a seat next to Chris. 

“I’ll grab some glasses.”  I walk around the
table to the kitchen.

“Oh yes sorry thanks, Jane.”  Ben says
thankfully to me.  Still weird.

“Jane could I have a glass of water too
please?”  Helen call after me.

As if anticipating me, Angela hands me a box of
crystal wine glasses that she obviously saves for special occasions. 

“I’ll bring in a jug of water for everyone
too.”

“Perfect thank you Angela.”

Angela walks in behind me as I am handing out the
wine glasses.  She sets down a large glass water jug filled with water, ice and
lemon slices on the table along with some serving spoons.  Before Angela can
sit down, I take a seat next to Helen leaving a space for Angela between myself
and Ben.

“Dig in everyone.”  Angela says as she takes
her seat at the table.  And like a feeding frenzy in the Serengeti National
Park we greedily spoon potatoes, vegetables and meat on to our plates.  “Oh
I’ve forgotten the gravy give me two ticks.”  With a space opened up between
myself and Ben, I can feel him watching me.  I glance at him ever so quickly
and a smile touches his lips when our eyes meet.  Angela returns with a large
gravy boat.  Steam dances above the thick brown liquid.