Obsession (18 page)

Faith

I am sat on this damn hospital bed, waiting for the Doctor to say I can go. After all their checks apparently I’m ok just few cuts and scrapes, so I sent Damien home to get me some clean clothes.

He told Malc to keep an eye on me, but every time I ask him about Cami he clams up and turns away from me, so that he can hide the tears in his eyes, he thinks I don’t see them but I do. The last time I asked him he stormed out of my room and slammed the door behind him as he left.

I also need to know where my best friend is and that she is ok, but he won’t talk to me about her. I am sick of this waiting, I will bloody find out what’s going on myself. I put my bare feet on the cold tiled floor of the hospital room and move to pull myself up, the bloody gown they have me in is open at the back and you can see everything, I move gingerly across to the chair, where I asked the nurse to bring me another gown and leave it for me. Spying the gown, I swoop it up and put it on like a robe so I’m covered on all sides.

I head to the door of my private room and pull it open, I wander down the hall trying to find the nurses station, I want to find out where they have Cami.

I go past a waiting room and pause for a minute, I notice a man sat in the corner with his head buried in his hands.

His head looks up sensing that he is being watched, it’s then I notice that it is Malc and his cheeks are wet, I don’t stop and think, I just rush over to him, I drop down to my knees in front of him.

Why won’t anyone tell me what’s going on, I need to know that Cami is ok. If anything has happened to her I will never forgive myself.

“Malc what’s happened? Please just tell me. Oh god is she ok? Please let her be ok.” I am begging on my knees, I don’t care I just need him to tell me what happening. I don’t care how stupid I must look here on the floor.

“They had to take her in to surgery Faith. The Doctor has just come out and explained to me what’s going on.” I pause for a second wondering why the Doctor told Malc.

“How come they told you Malc, and not her family or me?”  I ask him.

“I said I was her husband, I couldn’t bare not knowing. You and Damien weren’t here yet. I didn’t know her family, so I just said it was me.” I can see the genuine concern for my best friend, I would have done the same if it were someone I cared about. It still does not tell me what the doctor has said to upset Malc. 

“So what have they said?”  As I ask he pulls me up from the floor and sits me in the chair at the side of him, he holds on to both of my hands,. He gives them a little squeeze but it does nothing to reassure me.

“She had an internal bleed. That they had to fix, they said she had been kicked, punched and sliced with a knife, all over her body. They have also had to remove one of her fallopian tubes, and the chance of her conceiving is going to be harder now.” I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks. I cry for Cami, I know how much she wants kids and she will be a great mum one day. Kind, caring and so loving, she would never hold a child back, will always put them before herself in everything she does. I just hope that she gets the chance to now. All this pain and drama has been caused by one mans greed, the ripple effect that it has had on my world has been catastrophic to say the least and I don’t know how I will ever come to terms with what has happened over these last few months. The hurt and pain it has caused has burrowed deep inside of me.

I hope and pray that Cami can forgive me. I know she is alive and that is a huge relief. That girl has been my rock through all of this and I think it’s time I became hers.

“When can we see her?” I ask him, not really expecting an answer as he has buried his face in his hands again. I just want to break the eerie silence, which hangs between us.

“She’s still in recovery, then they are moving her to a ward. They said when they have her on a ward I could see her.” I don’t miss the way he shut me out and said I instead of us. I guess I deserve that. If I had never had the hospital ring her all those months ago, then she would not be here now. Going through major surgery and possibly losing her chance to have children. I stand to head back to my room, at least I know she will be ok.

“Thanks for telling me, I best get back to my room.” I don’t give him time to answer, as I practically turn and run back to my room.

I fall on to the bed and I start to cry, I let it all out. Everything that has happened has finally caught up with me and I feel like I am going to break. I feel I hand on my shoulder, as the tears consume me, my body shudders uncontrollably.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you Faith, I understand you need to see her just as much as I do, if not more. I realised what I said, as soon as you left and the way it came across.” The gruffness of his deep tone makes me realise who it is speaking. I did not expect Malc to have followed me, or give me any soothing words after everything, but I am glad all the same.

“Tell her I’m so sorry Malc, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen to her. I love her so much I would never want her to be hurt.” The tears have not stopped, I can feel myself heaving in-between sobs.

I feel him rub small circles on my shoulder trying to calm me, but it’s not working. The only person I want to console me is Damien and he is not back yet. He needs to get me out of this place. I need to forget and the only person that can make that happen is Damien.

“I will tell her Faith, but you’re going to have to give her time.”

“Faith, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I turn over in the bed to face the door where he is standing. He drops the bag and rushes over to me, Malc steps out of the way just in time to let Damien get to me. He scoops me up and holds me close, just letting me sob into his chest. The feel of his warm body against mine and his heart beating against my ear does calm me. I relay everything that has happened while Damien was away, Malc steps out, I don’t think he can listen to me retell it, he is having a hard enough time living it.

“I need to shower and dress do you think you can help me please.” I ask him, I hope he will say yes but I’m a mess, the dried blood all over me, the bruises and scratches that cover my body, I won’t blame him if he won’t.

“I can’t Faith. If I see you in that shower things are going to lead somewhere that they can’t go right now.” I’m flooded with disappointment, I knew that all this crap would be too much for him. That he can’t look at me or that he does not want me in the same way as he did before. I unravel myself from his arms and try to make my escape to the bathroom, but he snags hold of my wrist and turns me back to face him.

“You can get that thought out of your head Faith. I want you so much. I can see the cogs turning inside your head.” He grabs hold of my chin and kisses me with a passion that I have not felt for days, his tongue tries to invade my mouth, to deepen the kiss and I allow it needing to feel that connection to him.

“The only reason I am not going in that bathroom with you is that I don’t want to fuck you in some hospital bathroom. When I take you again it will be in our home do you understand me? I want to hear you scream my name as I take you.” My mouth drops open at his statement as I wander into the bathroom to get myself clean, and ready so that I can go home and be with my man.

I step under the warm shower spray. I shiver at first it is hot enough to cleanse the dirt and the grime away from my body, as I contemplate the whirlwind that has been the last few months of my life.

On the outside looking in, a few months ago I had a father and a mother who appeared to love me, as happy without a care in the world. Then my life was turned upside down, all my plans were snatched from under me by my father of all people. How can a father, the one person in this whole world who is supposed to look out for his little girl make them disposable object? 

The only thing that worked out for the better is Damien, who I love unconditionally. Regardless of his faults and his ideas of keeping me safe. He is the one person who I know will always keep me safe and come for me. No matter what happens, he will always be there for me.

I let the steam surround me in a cloud just wanting to hide for a little while, to be invisible wishing none of this has happened to me, but then I realise that if I did not go through hell I would not have Damien in my life. A knock on the door pulls me from my run away thoughts.

“Faith? Are you ok in there?” I hear the concern in his voice, and it touches my heart that after everything we have been through he still has this soft side that only I get to see.

“Just a minute, I’m just finishing up.” I say to him in hopes of soothing his concerns. I quickly wash myself, ignoring the pain that courses through all of my body. I shut off the water and step out and towel myself dry, realising my clothes are not in here shit, I need to go back out into the room and grab my bag. I pull open my door and step out, I watch as his eyes roam over my scantily clad body. I see the hunger in his eyes but I also see the anger at the marks covering my body.

“Sorry, I forgot to take my clothes in there with me let me just grab them, and go back to the bathroom.” I feel dirty, I know my body does not look great but it feels a hell of a lot cleaner than it did.

“I am not angry at you Faith or repulsed the way you look. I am angry at what he did to you. I know that we have dealt with him but the feeling I have when I see you in pain or hurt makes me want to hurt him all over again.”

I feel relief at his words and I drop the towel where I stand in front of him.

Faith

The ride to the house is quiet and all I want to do is sleep. I didn’t see Cami before I left the hospital but Malc stayed behind. He refused to leave her there on her own. I think it’s sweet. When the car comes to a stop outside of the house I open the door. I’ve missed this place. It’s strange to think how much like home it has become.

I can see myself here for the rest of my life. Watching our children grow as I grow old with the man I love. Knowing that my life here in this world would not be complete without him.

I walk through the doors of the house and a wonderful smell hits me straight away drawing me towards the kitchen. I love the smell of roasting ham, I can almost taste the honey glaze coating. Wandering inside I take a seat at the table and I see Anton already sat there with Lily. A huge smile of relief crosses her face when she sees me.

I feel her arms circle around me, I feel the love emanate from her. The sheer feeling of joy runs through me at the thought of being truly accepted. I shut it down quickly. While I am here getting cuddles and sympathy, Cami is lying in a hospital bed recovering.

“I’m so glad you're home safe Faith, we were all so worried about you.” My eyes start to fill up and I have to take a big deep breath to get myself under control.

“Thank you, I’m glad to be home.” I say with true conviction in my voice, because I am glad it’s over and I am glad I’m home.

I sit down and try to have a small plate of ham, egg and chips. There is something to be said for a simple meal. It soothes the soul and gives you comfort.

It’s getting late and I have to be up early in the morning to go and visit Cami. I need to see her. If she won’t see me then I will go back every day until she will. There is no way I am giving up on her, she would have never given up on me.

“I am off to bed everyone; I will see you all tomorrow.” I stand to leave, hearing all the goodnights called to me as I make my way down the hall to the bedroom.

I open the bedroom door and the sight that greets me makes my cry instantly. I feel the heat at my back and I know who is behind me, his warm hands wrap around my waist and guide me into our bedroom, the white rose petals scattered on the bed, the candles that surround the bedroom, have my heart melting and my insides heating up.

He presses tender kisses to my neck, working his way down from my ear to over my collarbone, still clothed I can feel the heat of the kisses through the t-shirt, it’s like he is kissing all the bad away.

Slowly I lift up my arms, as he takes the hem of my t-shirt and slips it over my head, my top half is now bare for him as he traces his lips down me, his kisses are like feathers across my skin making it tingle and burn for him all at the same time.

He unsnaps my jeans and gently pushes them over the swell of my hips and towards the ground. I lift up each foot one at a time to remove them, once they have gone I am now on show, every scrape, every bruise, I try to cover myself from his view, but he does not let me, he holds my arms gently to my sides as he continues to kiss me, even more seductively than before, I get so lost in the pleasure that he is bringing my body.

I don’t even see him remove his clothes. He lifts me into his arms, and gently lays me down in the middle of the bed, my body is already on fire every nerve ending alight and craving his next touch. He is doing exactly what I need him to do he is changing the memory for me, washing away the bad, until I get the memory of just him and me. It doesn’t block everything out, but it helps to heal the scars that have been left, forever imprinted in my mind. His eyes find mine through the passion, all I see is love shining back at me, it makes my heart burst even right now, in this moment he wants nothing but me and the love I can give him in return.

“I love you Faith so much, I could not live in a world where you do not keep me in the light.”

I don’t care that I have tears in my eyes this amazing man has just told me I am his world. Now is for the future not the past, for the living not the dead.

I open wider for him to nestle right where I want him, hoping that he understands that I need him now more than ever.

“I love you too Damien, more than you will ever know we may not have started right, but I will always be your light in the dark, the good to the evil that will never destroy us.”

As I finish declaring my love, he presses himself into me, so slowly filling me with every inch, I feel myself stretch around him my hands find his back and I cling to him, to feel every ridge of his cock moving slowly in and out of me is ecstasy, a high that I never want to come down from, he meets my lips and takes my mouth, his tongue moves at the same agonizing pace as his hips do pushing himself deeper inside me filling me top to bottom, surrounding me with all of him I feel consumed. And I love every fucking minute of it.

“Come with me Faith, I want to finish with you.” His words send me over the edge and I scream as my muscles tighten and I contract around him milking him for everything he has to give me. I feel him pulse deep inside of me, pausing when he can’t go any further; his breathing has hitched a little.

“I want you with me always Faith, I never want to be without this feeling, you are mine. I never want to feel what we have just been through again, the thought of losing you killed me inside, I can’t survive without you. Will marry me Faith?” I look at him, as I still feel him nestled deep inside waiting for my answer. I look into his eyes, did he really just ask me to marry him? Do I want to marry him knowing how this relationship started, but looking up to the man I love knowing that he would die for me, has killed a man for me, but above all else he would change for me, it’s not that I want him to change, the fact that If I did ask him he would and that’s enough for me no longer will I ever feel unimportant, I will always be wanted and needed, to Damien I am his.

“Yes.”

He kisses me and pulls out, pulling me onto his chest, I soon drift off knowing that I have found my place, as long as Damien is by my side I can take on the world.