Obsession: Loving An Alpha Male (7 page)

“I’m fucked,” Josh replied as he drove himself away from the temptation that was Summer Dean.

Shit. She looked good, and no matter how hard he fought it, he couldn’t stop himself from tasting her. She was a walking, breathing, blushing turn–on, and again the bad part about it was she didn’t have a clue. She didn’t know how much she affected him. She didn’t and couldn’t have a clue how desperate she makes him.

He didn’t know much about her, but he didn’t care. He was still trying to figure out a way to make her his. She was breaking down his internal barriers and staking her claim on him.

He never expected to see her tonight. He thought he would hang out for a little while with Aaron and the guys then call it a night. Maybe he would find someone to go home with him tonight, finally lose himself in a woman’s softness. Going to sleep every night with blue balls, no matter how many times he tried to relieve the tension, wasn’t working. Tonight he needed a nice warm body underneath him. At first, he figured any woman would do; until he laid eyes on Summer, that is.

Summer wasn’t dressed to the nines like Paula was when she popped up tonight, but the tight shirt showed off a pair of tits he was becoming accustomed to dreaming about and shorts that showed off a pair of sexy legs he knew she possessed. They were toned and smooth, and all he could think about was being in between those thighs all night long. She turned out to be the one he wanted to take home and fuck senseless.

What he came to grips with was the fact that she was so sweet and amazing that he wanted to do more than just fuck her. He wanted her;
all of her
. He tried to rein in his emotions, but throughout the night seeing her around the guys at the table or around the bar had his anger rising. He didn’t like the way guys were touching her, looking at her. Hell, he wanted to punch Michael in his throat for the way he was eye fucking her. The feeling of possessiveness started to take over in him, which surprised him. He’s never felt possessive or jealous over any woman, but Summer was different. He wanted her smiles and laughter and touch to be solely for him and him alone.

When the night ended, he looked for Summer, but she never returned back to the table. The waitress that Aaron was after said she was working in the back. Josh refrained from going to find her. He needed to show some type of self–control. Besides, it seemed Paula was joined at his hip once again. He had to talk to Paula, he knew, and it needed to be soon. Summer was starting to occupy his inner most thoughts. Once he got a hold of her, he didn’t want anything or anyone getting in his way of making her his.

So, as they all called it a night, he walked out with everyone and even walked Paula and her friend, he couldn’t think of what her name was, back to Paula’s car.

Paula did attempt to get him to go with her, using her body as bait. Josh didn’t bite. There was one woman he seemed to be unable to stop thinking about and the moment she said he could take her home, he knew he had a chance.

His phone ringing brought him out of his Summer fest, and he pushed the Bluetooth button on the steering wheel to answer.

“Cooper.”

“Are you alone?”

“Yeah, I’m in my car. Why? You have something for me already?”

“Yup.”

Josh turned onto Penn Avenue heading toward his downtown apartment.

“That was fast.”

“There’s a lot of shit though. A lot you aren’t going to like,” the caller announced.

“Okay well, what are you waiting for? Tell me.”

Josh listened quietly as Junior, one of his direct reports, brought him up to speed on everything he asked him to look into. Fuck, he wasn’t lying. There was a lot of shit, but it wasn’t enough to make him angry, Josh thought to himself, but that changed quickly. It seemed Junior was saving the best for last.

As Junior spoke, Josh felt the heat rise within him.

“Are you fucking sure?” Josh asked, allowing the anger to seep through his voice.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I double–checked everything before I called. This shit is true, man.”

“What the fuck is his name?”

Junior paused a second then said, “Noah Baxter.”

Junior spoke quickly, filling him in on details that even he didn’t want to repeat ever in his life.

“How much did he put her up for?”

“Five hundred K.”

“Did anyone bite?” Josh asked.

“Yup, a few did actually. One even paid in advance.”

Josh parked his car in his designated parking spot below his apartment building and turned off the engine, still trying to not rip his car apart. When he gave Junior Summer’s name, he never thought it would be something like this.

Junior remained silent on the phone, knowing that Josh needed that moment to gather himself.

Finally Josh said, “First things first, I need the information on the fuckers that actually paid and wanted to pay for her. Then I need to know everything you have on Noah Baxter and his company, and any other company affiliated with his. I want everything, Junior, and I mean everything. I don’t care how small. I want to fucking know about it, understand?”

“Yes, sir. Anything else?” Junior asked.

“Keep an eye on him, Junior. The second he does anything you think I wouldn’t like, call me.”

Junior scoffed. “Huh? That could be anything.”

“Then, I guess I’ll be hearing from you often then,” Josh replied and then ended the call.

Josh sat in his car for a long time, thinking, contemplating on turning around and going back to her apartment. He thought about telling her what he found out, but he didn’t. The only thing that he learned was he was right about her. The fear she had in her eyes was real. The level of the fear though was a mystery, but he vowed he would find out everything about her. He would protect her with everything in him. He would make sure nothing ever hurt her again.

I was having the best time of my life. Josh and I seemed to find it completely easy to talk to each other. It was unreal. I had a smile plastered on my face the moment I found him outside the stadium. I got a chance to hang out and eat by Aaron’s truck with some of Josh’s co–workers like Mike, Derek and others, who I just met that day. I also learned that Derek was the one that was really cool with Steven, Sara’s son. Steven had hung out multiple times with the guys, which was how Steven knew Josh, besides the few times he’d been to the Café. I can’t begin to tell you how good that makes me feel. Not to say I thought Josh was a stalker but it makes Joy theory so much easier to believe.

Josh had great tickets that placed us in a booth in PNC Park that was filled with all the food and drinks you could manage. I indulged happily and made sure I took full advantage of the bar and buffet.

I must tell you that Josh looked scrumptious in his Yankee Tee. It was just the right size to show the world that he definitely had a great body, and the jeans he wore hung loosely, but not too loose to where they would fall off his hips. He wore a black NY hat that hung low and covered most of his face, but no matter how low his hat was I could feel his eyes on me, no matter where I was in the booth.

I started not to come today. But the moment I expressed how I felt to Joy, she pretty much kicked me out of my own apartment telling me that all I was feeling would probably go away the instant I saw him. And I have to say, she was right. The moment he saw me and embraced me tight against him, I felt like I was home.

During the game and the many alcoholic beverages we consumed, we talked a little bit more about his family and what I could bear to tell him about mine.

When the conversation moved to sports, I smiled and asked, “You said the men of your family were Yankee fans, has it always been like that?”

Josh smiled, allowing it to reach his eyes. “Oh yeah, my father always took me and my brothers to a game in New York growing up, and to this day, it’s still a tradition. On opening day, the Cooper men would make the trip to Yankee’s Stadium.”

Josh began to tell me about the experiences he and his brothers had with his father, and I instantly felt envious. See, good fathers are out there; it just sucked to not be one of the privileged.

“So, what sports have you played in high school?” I asked him, just to keep the conversation going.

Josh leaned back in the bleachers with a smile still on his face. He looked to me like he relaxed a bit and actually welcomed the way things were turning.

“Man, I pretty much played what they offered; football, basketball, and baseball.”

“No lacrosse?” I grinned.

He shook his head. “Nah, no lacrosse. As a matter of fact, I did think about it. It was a conflict between that and baseball, and well, I chose baseball.”

“Were you good at any of the sports you played?”

“Um, I was okay. I played just to say that I did. You know, for my father. When I went to college, I was too busy chasing women to worry about playing.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I can only imagine how much chasing you did.”

He grinned. “Yeah, I did a lot of chasing, but not as much as some other guys I knew.”

“Oh I’m sure.” I rolled her eyes.

“No, for real. I mean, I’m not gonna sugar coat it. I did my fair share of dating and messing around, but I was always honest with the girls I was with. I never led them on and was always up front with what I wanted.”

“Yeah, so you’ve never been in a long lasting relationship?” I asked, and I hoped the slip of the tongue that I hoped didn’t cost me.

Josh just watched me for a moment before he said, “No, actually, I haven’t been in a long lasting relationship.”

“Why is that? I mean, I’m sure you’ve met someone that, I don’t know, wanted to spend forever with you.”

Josh tugged on his cap that was placed firmly on his head and shrugged. “Oh, I’m sure that I have. I’ll admit that I’ve met some pretty great women throughout my life. But I guess I never met someone that made me want to settle down.”

“So you’ve never been in love?” I asked, knowing I was pushing it.

Josh tilted his head to the side, however, and kept a heated gaze on me.

“I thought I was getting close to it once, but no, I’ve never been in love.”

He held my gaze for a moment longer, and I could feel his sincerity.

Then he flipped the script and asked, “What about you?

“Me?” I asked, exasperated.

Josh grinned and leaned forward and looked at me.

“Yeah you, Sweets. Have you ever been in love?”

I took a deep breath and tried to look aloof, but I could feel Josh read every emotion I went through in my body language. He didn’t push me though. He waited patiently, letting me decide what I wanted and didn’t want to say.

It didn’t take long for me to decide, and I took a deep breath and said, “Well, with my best friend, or ex–friend, Wayne, I thought that I was in love, but that wasn’t the case. And well, I guess I was in a relationship with this guy named Noah, but I wasn’t in love with him so…”

“You weren’t in love? How long were you and Noah together?”

“Not long, about six months I think,” I answered and started ringing my hands together.

“How did you two meet?” Josh asked softly.

“Well, my father actually introduced us, and at first, I didn’t like him at all. I thought he was an arrogant asshole. I was actually dating Wayne at the time Noah and I met. Well, I thought I was dating him.”

Josh frowned confused, and I sighed again and told Josh about Wayne; the safe story.

“Wayne Markinson was my best friend growing up. We were inseparable, to say the least. His family and mine were close, and our families vacationed together and ate Sunday dinners and even spent some holidays together. Wayne’s father and mine were business partners of some kind and college roommates. Wayne and I were two years apart, and once we got older we became good friends. Wayne was the only person my father would let me hang around with. He sort of trusted Wayne, and really so did I.”

“Wayne and I went to Princeton together and right before we graduated we decided to start dating. I always had a crush on him growing up, but in college, when we both came into our own, my strong like turned to love. And once he told me he felt the same way, I just knew we would be together.”

“What happened?” Josh asked.

I shrugged. “I can’t begin to tell you. One minute we were hanging out all the time, going to the movies, dinner, making plans for a future then next he was ignoring my calls. He started posting pictures of him and other girls hanging out on social media sites with his friends. His family would come to dinner at my house every Sunday without him, and he just stopped coming around. I was stunned, you know. I mean, I thought we were friends first and foremost. He and I were kindred spirits growing up, and I thought he got me better than anyone. I felt like he had my back no matter what, and I completely trusted him.”

“But one Sunday he just walked in my house after being MIA for a few weeks, telling me he didn’t want me anymore. He told me I was just a kid, and he wanted a real woman and had no time to show me how to be one.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. “Well, at that point, I had already met Noah, and he was truly digging his claws in me, but I was still holding out for Wayne. We had history together, he was my best friend. I wanted to know what I did to make him stop calling me, talking to me.” I looked down at my hands and added softly, “Why he didn’t want me anymore.”

Josh remained quiet for a spell then asked, “So, this Wayne guy was your best friend growing up and then out of the blue he just stopped talking to you, hanging out with you?”

I nodded. “Yup, I couldn’t figure out what happened, and well, I left shortly after, so I never got a chance to ask anything further. All I know is he broke my heart, and at the age of nineteen, it was devastating.”

“I can understand how that can be hard to deal with. You were young, and he was your first love it sounds like… I told you I never experienced that, but I have a little sister, so I know it must have been hard. What about this Noah guy? He what, swooped in and became your knight in shining armor?”

I scoffed and crossed my arms to my chest. “He swooped in all right, but I wouldn’t say he was that honorable.”

“Yeah, what would you say?”

I shivered outwardly and closed my eyes thinking of all the things I could say Noah was. A sadist would be one, but I kept my mouth closed. I felt Josh take my hand in his, and I opened my eyes just as he kissed it. I met his eyes, and we held each other, me getting the message he was sending loud and clear.

Our trance was broken when the crowd around us went crazy. We both looked at the field to see that the Yankees hit a homerun.

Josh smiled brightly, kissed my hand again and was then bum rushed by his co–workers in the suite. I laughed and balled up a few pieces of napkins I had and threw them at him, laughing hysterically and feeling the weight and whatever it was between us lifting. Josh and a few others did a horrible imitation of the cabbage patch dance from the eighties, which was hilarious on its own and talked trash to some Pirates fans that were around us. As I watched, I was completely thankful that Josh didn’t push me and completely thankful that the Yankees took that moment to hit a home run.

My smile soon faded though as I thought about today. I came here thinking this could be the beginning of something with a man I never thought I would meet, but as our date was coming to a close, I was starting to second–guess everything. Josh was amazing, don’t get me wrong, and he had done nothing to make me feel this way. It was just the unbelievable feeling I got when I was with him that made me wonder if this was my moment.

Hope just wasn’t in the cards for me, having happily ever after or just happiness wasn’t something I was used to feeling. I keep waiting for me to wake up from some dream that would undoubtedly become a nightmare, that everything that has happened so far would just be my imagination.

I was so hooked on him. There were feelings stirring in the pit of my stomach. A desire and need for him came over me every time he looked at me, or when he was close to me. I wanted to be in his arms again, I’ll admit it. I wanted to feel those powerful lips again that seemed to have a force behind them so strong I craved for more of him with each stroke of his tongue. I was dying to know how his hands would feel caressing my body.

This shit was driving me insane. I just wanted him, and it wasn’t just in a physical way. God, it was so much more. When I was around him, the need for him just overwhelmed me. I needed to feel his protection. I needed to see him, to touch him, to feel him. It was nothing that he’d said or promised to make me feel that way, but it was the way he looked at me, how he touched me, that I knew,
I just knew
, that no matter what, he had me. I knew he could protect me.

I felt it.

The problem is I wanted more. I just wasn’t sure if he wanted the same. I assumed maybe he did, but I was afraid to find out for sure.

No, I need to turn my focus off Josh and on to the game.

I needed my mind to be on something else, anyone else, other than Josh.

I sighed deeply, fighting back the emotions that were doing a serious battle with my heart and mind. I needed another drink. That’s what I really needed. Maybe if I got completely wasted, I wouldn’t think too much. As I walked around the suite, Josh reached for me and tucked me close to his side.

“You okay?” he asked.

I smiled up at him, letting the lie fall from my lips. “Never better.”

****

The rest of the game didn’t go well for my team. We lost, but the fireworks were spectacular from inside the stadium.

Everyone in the stadium had their eyes in the sky as color after color exploded before us, brightening up a darkened sky, illuminating the kid in all of us I watched mesmerized as I always did during Pittsburgh’s fireworks show. Most of the time I was on Mt. Washington watching, but this was the first time I’d ever been this close.

I stood in the back corner of the balcony of the suite as everyone else was seated in the bleachers and leaning closer to the balcony rails in front of them.

I felt Josh standing slightly behind me, and since alcohol is liquid courage, and I had a boatload of alcohol, I stepped back, hoping Josh wouldn’t reject me. I’m torturing myself, I know. I just want to believe in something, anything that would give me a sliver of hope.

A smile suddenly spread on my face the moment I felt the touch of his hand on my waist and the gentle pull backward to bring me flush up against him.

I leaned my head back against his chest, and he tightened his grip on me.

Feeling his chest rise and fall behind me, the smell of his cologne and the caress of his touch caused me to turn my head and look up at him. Damn it, I wanted to feel his lips again. I’d been dreaming about it since yesterday night when he kissed me for the first time.

So I ignored all the signs that this was a bad idea and for the first time in my life, I decided to go for something that I wanted, not caring what the outcome would be. I was slightly startled by what I saw in his eyes, but I didn’t falter. I wanted this.