Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) (39 page)

I’m not sure what my expression held but he moved closer. “When I saw how easily he accepted Zach into your life…I was reeling with jealousy. I couldn’t wait to see if what you two had was going to work or not…I had to get in there and fight.”  He leaned into my face, his cheek touched mine. “I knew you loved me once,” he whispered. “I hoped…” His words tapered off and his lips brushed across my cheek. I closed my eyes feeling his breath against my cheek. Then unexpectedly, his lips pressed against mine softly.

“Grant,” I whimpered and my lips found his. His moan made my body react in a way I knew wasn’t good. His tongue was warm and full and it mingled with mine for a moment before he closed his mouth and pecked my lips twice. I opened my eyes and he was looking at me. His blue eyes were beautiful, even in the dark. He stroked my lip with his thumb.

“I’m sorry. In one sentence I say, I’m done. In the next, I’m kissing you.”

I shook my head. “Grant…I.”

He covered my mouth. “I know you love him. My lips are sealed. This never happened.” He took my hand and we walked silently back to the truck.
  

The truck was warm and it wasn’t clear by the looks on their faces if they’d made up or not. Ali’s eyes were red and I figured she’d been crying. I’d have to get the scoop later from one of them. Ryan was at least holding her hand.

The clock on the dash read 11:30 and we had a two-hour drive ahead of us. No sleep Friday night and another late night…I would never make it home.

I was too tired to move though the cold air startled my body. My eyelids felt thick and too heavy to open.

“Ryan, get the front door and I’ve got her.” I heard Grant’s voice.

“All right.”

Grant must have heaved me into his arms and my knees dangled over his elbow.

“Where are we?” I murmured and didn’t really care.
              Exhaustion had seized my body and I had nothing left to fight. I heard the truck door shut then another door slam.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Was that Zach? His voice seemed so far away.

“Oh, God. I should have known. Nothing is wrong with her, you douche bag. She’s tired. You tell me what’s wrong. She said she didn’t sleep at all
last
night. What’d
you
do to her?”

“Give her to me.” It
was
Zach’s voice and he was angry.

“Back off. I’ve got her and I’m carrying her to bed,” Grant tried to whisper.

I could swear I heard Zach growl. This had to be a nightmare. “Grant, I swear to God. Give her to me or I will break you.”

“Stop,” I mustered enough energy to say. “Stop fighting.” And I was questioning if I was dreaming. Zach was here and that was all that mattered. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

“Look. She’s yours. OK? Just let me get her inside.”

The warmth of the house was welcoming to my body and I could tell we were going up the stairs.

“Mom and Dad are asleep,” Ryan said behind us. “Please keep it down.”

When my body touched the sheets, I melted into the comfort of my bed. He unclasped my hands from behind his neck. “Don’t leave,” I whispered.

“That must make you feel good.” Zach’s tone was ugly. Why was he upset?

“Not really. The words were meant for you.”  I heard Grant say.

“Grant?” I questioned.

“Yes?” He whispered.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime sleepyhead.”

“Do I still kiss like a fish?” I moaned and curled up on my side. He didn’t answer. “I do, don’t I?”

Still quiet. Then finally, “No.”

“I’ve got her from here.” Zach’s voice barely audible. “Zach. Is that really you?” I was more alert questioning my sanity.

“It’s me.”

I forced my eyes open and he was blurry and it was dark. “Really?”

“Really,
Em. Go back to sleep.” He brushed his hand down my face.

I tried to resist. “No. I want to know about your…thing…your sleepover thing.” I was confused. I wasn’t sure who was in my room and who wasn’t and didn’t know how to word it.

“We’ll talk about it later. I unbuttoned your jeans. You’re covered up…now pull ‘em off.”

I did as he asked and threw them on the floor.

“Here’s my shorts you like. Slide ‘em on.”

They slid up easily. “It was weird. I thought I was dreaming.” I laughed. “Why are you here?”

He grinned sheepishly. “I don’t know. Just making sure you got home OK.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He kissed my forehead. “Sleep tight. Call me tomorrow, OK?”

“Stay.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. You know that.”

I nodded and pulled the blanket to my chin and before I knew it…I was out.

“Emma?” Mom yelled.

I forced my eyelids open.

“Emma?

“What?” I hollered.

“It’s time to get up, sleepy head.”

I rubbed my knuckles with my eyes and squinted at the clock. Crap. It was 11:15. I shoved the covers back and stumbled out of bed checking my phone before heading to the shower. Ali had texted three times.

8:45—Call me!!

9:30—Please. I need 2 talk

10:40—Have u talked 2 Ryan???

Uh-oh!  I walked down the hallway. His door was closed, but I heard soft music through the door so I tapped lightly.

“What?”

I opened it and peeked in. “You up?”

“Yup.” He lay on his bed shooting his Nerf ball at the hoop hanging above the bed. I curled up below his feet and looked at him.

“What happened?”

He tossed a pillow across his face. “You chicks suck!”

I kicked him. “Some chicks suck and so do some of you dudes,” I teased. “Are you
gonna tell me what happened?”

He moved the pillow so I could see his face. “I don’t know
Em. I can’t make her happy. No matter what I do. If we go to a movie, I looked at another girl. Tonight at the concert, I talked to another girl. She doesn’t get that I like her and it’s a battle I’m tired of fighting.”

“Did you break up with her?”

“No. But I told her I was done trying. Then she cried. I apologized for…something. I don’t even know what.” He scowled as the words came out and tossed the ball into the hoop again.

“Did you all…you know?”

He shook his head. “No. We did everything but that. And
THAT
was an issue too. Why, I wouldn’t do it with her.” He rolled his eyes and I laughed. “What’s so funny?”

I rubbed the sleep from the corners of my eyes. “Wow. What is it with you guys? You
scrog any girl that opens her legs but then one asks you to and you don’t?”

The
nerf ball hit me in the face after it left his hands. “Excuse me. She’s fifteen and I’m eighteen and somewhere along the line, Dad taught us that was a noble thing to do.”

“Noble? Big word for you and you
scrogged Estelle before we left. What was it…four girls in Cannon?” He smiled as I recounted. “Claire when we got back and whoever else before Ali.  Show me the nobility. Please tell me you use condoms, you man whore.”

This time he kicked me. “That’s a stupid question, Runt. I’m not going to get some girl knocked up before college. Do you and Zach use protection?”

I retaliated by throwing the nerf ball back at him. “Dude—we haven’t done it. I already told you that. ”

“You’re
shitting me.” I could read in his eyes he thought I was lying. “You’ve been together for like seven or eight months. What about at Shasta?”

I shook my head. “Nope. And it isn’t for a lack of me trying. He wants to wait till he’s off probation. I thought I told you that already.”

“Why are you girls so ready to give it up?  Ali was ready too.”

Ryan had a great point and I didn’t have a good answer. Zach and I had managed to date eight months without doing it and still had it to look forward to. “I don’t know. I feel like he’s the one.”

“Emma, he may be the one. But what happens when we leave for Cannon or worse yet…he heads back south?”

I stood up and stretched my arms high in the air. “I’m getting in the shower.”

“Hard to face?”

I ignored him. “I need to call Ali. What do you want me to say?”

He leaned off the bed and picked up the ball to resume his basketball playing. “Tell her the truth. She’s got to knock this shit off and enjoy life a little and not always be looking at the dark side.”

I smiled and pulled the door closed.

My chest was tight with anxiety as spring break, graduation and summer stared me in the face. Each of them…one at time…leading to our downfall. Time was running out for us and no matter what I did, he was leaving me. Ali must have conceded and adjusted herself accordingly because she and Ryan seemed back on track at least for the time being. I wasn’t sure if he’d told her that he and his buddies were headed down to Puerto Vallarta for spring break. Mom and Dad were going for a couple of days too. I remembered when they gave him the trip at Christmas. He was so excited until they broke the news to him. I laughed just thinking about his face. His trip was five days and theirs three.  I begged to stay home because at the time, I was broken hearted without Zach and surprisingly, they caved; especially after finding out that Zach was headed to Cancun. But now, three months later, I wished I was going.

Zach and the San Francisco crew were also headed to Cancun for five days, and I secretly hoped that he couldn’t go because of his probation. I knew it wasn’t fair and tremendously selfish, but I wished he’d stay. His court date was scheduled for March 9th and I, with the approval of my parents and Zach, tagged along. This drive to Medford was much different than the last—with a sense of enthusiasm filling the car.

Once inside the courthouse, we headed to the courtroom.  The hallway was full and Zach held my hand as we found an empty bench where we all sat together. His attorney was waiting
and pulled Zach aside to talk. Pictures of two of the judges hung in the hallway in thick gold ornate frames.

Apparently, the court docket was running behind, but given that his parents had hired private counsel, he thought we’d get right in. I was certain that would upset the other families in the hallway. Outside of an occasional hand squeeze, we didn’t talk much.

“When are you leaving for Cancun,” I whispered.

“I’m driving to Sacramento on Wednesday around noon and flying to San Francisco that night. Then Thursday we all fly out…stay Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday then fly back on Monday. Then staying in the city for a couple of nights.” He shrugged.

“So you’re leaving before school is out?” I didn’t know that.

“Yeah. The place mom reserved was taken that next week starting on Tuesday so we’re
takin off early. Why?”

“Just wondering.” I wouldn’t have let him see the internal
reaction firing off in my body.

The three days my folks were gone were Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday…two days of which he could be back. I wouldn’t sway him. After all he’d been through, he needed this. As much as I hated it…hated being away from him.

“Are you worried?” he asked nudging me with his shoulder.

“Please. Hot sandy beach. Four gorgeous guys. Beautiful, tall, skinny girls flaunting half naked on the hot sandy beach in front of four gorgeous guys. Mix in a little alcohol.” My stomach twisted just thinking about it. “Not at all.”

His perfect smile eased me. “You’re always so cute when you’re jealous.”

I elbowed him in the ribs hitting his tie. “Maybe you shouldn’t drink.”

His brows rose high on his forehead. “I won’t drink much. You can trust that.”

I found little comfort in his words.

He lifted my chin till our eyes met. “You drank with Grant.”

I swallowed as he said the words. “I know.”

“That was a rotten night for me,” he confided.

“That was over a month ago. I thought about you the entire time.” I kept my voice low.

He narrowed his gaze. “Even when you kissed him?” His eyes searched my face for a reaction. “Did you know I knew that?”

I shamefully shook my head. “Did he tell you?”

He laughed half-heartedly. “You told me. That night, we were both in your room. You were so exhausted and I don’t think you had a clue who was there. You asked him if you still kissed like a fish. At first he said nothing and wouldn’t look at me. Then you asked again.” He closed his eyes and chuckled under his breath. “He finally said no and stared at me when he said it. You have no idea how that felt.”

The side of my cheek hurt from where I was gnawing. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t like a kiss that…”

He placed two fingers to my lips to stop me from talking. “Em. You’re with me, not him and I know that. If you did it…you had a reason and…”