Older and Wilder: A Steamy Gay MM Romance (6 page)

              Jesse paused and considered his options.  He should send Derek on his way.  Kick him out of his bed, out the door, and all the way to Colorado before h got hurt.  His body wasn’t the only part of him that craved Derek Heller, but his heart had no business falling for this wayward cowboy. 

              Logic and desire could only find one point of common ground, and reluctantly Jesse admitted that even if he was foolish enough to dive into the mistake that was pretending he was more than a passing whim for Derek, he needed recovery time after that last round.  “I’ve had enough for tonight,” he said.

              Derek nuzzled his neck. “Tell me what you want me to do to you tomorrow.”

              Jesse held his breath as the offer twisted within him. Derek was leaving soon, but there was a lot he could do before then, and if he was honest with himself it was too late to completely protect his heart.  If it was going to break, did it matter if it was in two pieces or four?  His parents already thought they were a couple and assumed that they were having sex.  Not doing it was taking the punishment without the crime.

              “Tell me what you want, Jesse.”

              He hesitated.  He shouldn’t keep doing this, but if he was going to then he might as well get exactly what he wanted. Maybe he could just consider it an indulgence, a second piece of cake when you knew you were starting a diet soon.

              Jesse swallowed hard and closed his eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that Derek would be willing to give him what he wanted, and, given how he did everything else, he was probably good at it. It wasn’t even a shocking request, just something he’d heard was supposed to be nice that hadn’t been very impressive when he’d experienced it.  “Your mouth,” Jesse said.

              “Mmmhmmm,” Derek purred. He trailed kisses along Jesse's neck before whispering in his ear. “What about my mouth?”

              “On me,” he  said.

              “Tell me more.”

              He took his hand and slid it down to his cock which twitched at the touch.  “Here.”

              Derek gave a low chuckle. “I guess we have skipped that. Yeah, I can do that. Now tell me what else you want.”

              “That,” he said.

              Derek drew back from him. “That's it?”

              “I've heard it's supposed to be good.”

              “Heard?  You've never…?”  Derek made some hand gestures that didn't convey much meaning but did reinforce his confusion. 

              “I've tried it, but it wasn't amazing or anything.  Nothing I couldn't live without, but it’s supposed to be great, right?”

              “You’re never going to want to let me go,” Derek promised.

              Jesse felt the lump in his throat grow.  That was already the problem.  He didn’t want to let him go.  Despite all Derek's bluster and too slick smiles, Jesse felt as certain quiet understanding and acceptance when they were together.  Dressed or not, time with Derek was just better than all the days before he’d gotten here.  It had been like this before they'd ever kissed too, for years now, but to a lesser degree.  Derek would drop by to see his parents, full of energy, mischief, and tales of his adventures on the road, and Jesse would be torn between his desire to look cool and an urge to follow Derek around like a puppy and just be near him.

              Getting closer to Derek hadn’t slaked his thirst.  He was like drinking salt water; a taste just made his crave more.  The sensible part of his brain screamed that this whole mess was just as good for his as salt water, too.  Derek was leaving in a few days and sucking in as much fantasy as he could before then wasn’t going to make living without him any better. If anything it would be worse because he’d know what he was missing.

              Derek kissed his forehead, his eyes already heavy-lidded with impending sleep.  “Night, Jess.  Tomorrow’s going to be another good one.”  Derek gave him a squeeze, pulling him against his broad chest and then snuggling down into the bed skin to skin.  Jesse didn’t just hear the steady beat of Derek's heart, he felt it, hypnotizing him, telling him to go ahead and fall.   It wasn’t like he was winning this fight with himself anyway; he was just limiting his fun.

              Tomorrow he’d say yes to whatever Derek wanted to do, and the next day he’d leave.  There were plenty of days left in Jesse's life for chores and denial, and with his parents soon adding a crying baby to the household mix he’d have plenty of time to be patient and dutiful.  He  owed himself just one more day of indulgence.  He’d deal with the consequences later.

***

              Jesse awoke to the feeling of stubble tracing a rough path over his chest and down across his belly. 

              “What are you doing?” Jesse asked.

              “Having breakfast,” Derek answered.

              He shouldered Jesse's thighs apart, pushing his legs wide as his tongue slid over Jesse's delicate skin.  As he’d expected, Derek knew just what to do, teasing confident patterns over his tender flesh, mixing hard and soft touches, and quickly winding the tendrils of need within him until Jesse was once again pressing his pillow to his face to smother his sounds.  His hips began to buck, and Derek placed an arm over his hip bones to still him and whispered, “Trust me.”

              Jesse whimpered and tried to hold still as Derek repeatedly built him up into a hill of need and backed away before reaching the peak, edging closer to the climax each time.  Derek's mouth continued to blaze a path over his skin.  Jesse whimpered a warning as he passed the point of no return and Derek continued working him towards ecstasy.  The cloud of need that had built within his released into a rainstorm of pleasure and Derek didn't shy away from the storm.

              Derek made his way back up Jesse's body, again trailing kisses as he went, and when he was beside him said, “Was that what you wanted?”

              Jesse managed a languid nod of agreement and Derek grinned then kissed him.

              Derek said, “Any time you need something, just tell me.  I’m happy when you’re happy.”

              “I think you could be happier.” Jesse wrapped his hand around Derek's erect cock and  felt the vibration of Derek's low, rumbling purr as the bed shifted underneath them. 

              “I like the way you think.”

***

              They spent most of the morning in bed, emerging to shower only when they heard Mike’s truck crank and then the sounds of the engine fade as he drove away.  Jesse vetoed a plan to take the horses for a ride, stating that Derek had already spent enough time in his saddle to make time on the trail an uncomfortable proposition.  They packed a lunch and drove down to one of the less popular swimming spots on the river, wasting a languid day there until they’d run out of food and energy.  They laughed a lot, alternating swimming, teasing, and generally being fools with hungry kisses and sultry touches. It was a break from who and where they were. They weren't separated by a generation and the thousand mile drive that loomed in the near future, they were just be two people having a good time.  Jesse didn’t realize how often and casual their touches had become until they returned home.

              Mike’s glare was like ice as he came out on the porch to stare them down, Jesse with his back pressed against the hot, faded paint of the truck and Derek with a hand on either side of him, penning him in.  When he realized they were being watch, Jesse ducked out of the makeshift embrace and bounced up the steps past his father, dragging Derek along by the hand behind his until they were both on the porch, even with Mike who seemed ready for a showdown. 

              He met his father’s icy stare with a smile and said, “Why don’t you take a walk? We’ll make dinner.”  He shoved Derek ahead of him into the kitchen and around the corner, out of Mike’s sight.

              Derek pulled him, in close, barely suppressing a burst of laughter, and asked, “Did you just protect me from your father?”

              Jesse kissed him and teased, “If he knew what you’d spent the day doing to me he’d be digging the hole for your body already.”

              They both gave up the fight against for a straight face at that, collapsing in fits of laughter that only grew louder when they heard the clomp of Mike’s boots on the porch steps.  When their laughter died down, Jesse rested his head on Derek's chest and relaxed into the comfort of his arms.  He'd be lucky if his heart only broke into a handful of pieces.  When he thought about Derek leaving tomorrow, he felt like he'd shatter.  This might be just a show they were putting on to smooth things over with his parents, but it felt real.

***

              Derek gave the simmering pot of beans a quick stir and then tasted the corn cake batter he’d been carefully doctoring with the available ingredients.  He wasn’t satisfied with it, but he declared it would have to be good enough unless they wanted to drive into town to the grocery store. Jesse had long finished the chopping duties for the salad he'd been assigned and had been watching and listening as Derek talked. He’d been chatty since they’d begun cooking, delivering a lecture first on pancakes around the world and then a verbal tour of the best cheeses he’d tasted on the road. 

              “You know anything about cheesemaking?” Derek asked.

              “Nope.”

              “Me either.  Gonna have to learn.  The place I’m buying comes with sheep. Most dude ranches have cattle, but the sheep set this place apart.  It’s known for wool blankets on the beds, fresh cheese and eggs, and a garden out back.  Eat local, farm to table, and all that.  It’s nice.  You'd like it.”

              Jesse gave him a small, non-committal sound.  He probably would to see Derek's new home at some point if his relationship with Mike and Rebecca ever recovered.  Mom seemed to have forgiven him already, but it would take a while for his father to come around and even then they might never get back to where they’d been before.  Maybe Jesse wouldn't even want to go.  This felt too real.  How long would it take to accept that it had all been a passing fling?

              “I’ll put a pottery wheel out back for you,” Derek offered.   “You'll feel right at home.”

              Derek twisted the knobs on the stove, set the cast iron pan on the burner, and tossed in a bit of lard.  He tested the heat by hovering his hand over the surface of the pan, and, when it was ready, he swirled it to distribute the oil and then dropped in batter by the scant quarter cup, making small, perfectly round cakes.

              When the pan was full Jesse prodded, “How’d you learn to cook?”

              “I’ve been grown for a while now.  At some point you either learn to cook, go broke paying somebody else to do it well for you, or you accept that all your meals will come in a paper bag.”

              “You could find somebody else to do it,” Jesse suggested. “Get married again.”

              “You offering?” Derek asked.  He was grinning, but it was a cautious smile, one that knew this conversation could turn on him quickly.

              “I can’t cook.”

              “Don’t matter.  I can.” He slipped a hand around Jesse's waist and pulled him in close against him then nipped his ear and whispered, “You could come play house with me.”

              Jesse's stomach clenched at his words.  Play house.  Play.  That’s what they were doing, right? Playing at being a couple so his parents could believe he was in a relationship instead of seeing that he was just drunk on sex. Anger at himself for falling into this mess burned. Everything but the sex was fake.  This was all just a dirty little game.  Derek was leaving in the morning.               

              “Why’d you get divorced?” Jesse asked.  He'd never heard Derek's side of the story, although he knew Kayla's well enough.  She claimed her ex-husband had fallen more in love with the excesses of the road than with her and he'd left her for a life of debauchery.