On the Road: (Vagabonds Book 2) (New Adult Rock Star Romance) (19 page)

Chapter Thirty

THE FIRST WEEK I was home, I mostly just slept.  Not only had I needed it more than I would have thought, but all that sleep helped me drop the bad habits I’d acquired on the road—when I awakened from my little self-induced cocoon (from which I emerged daily to eat at least one meal and spend a couple of hours at night with my parents), I felt fantastic, and I made a vow to not touch a cigarette or even alcohol.  It was crazy how great I felt.  The road had not been good for me.  Sure, it had been wonderful as far as my career, but psychologically and physically, it hadn’t been good.

The Vagabonds had a meeting scheduled in September.  Peter was, at that point, going to discuss earnings with us.  He said he needed the time to deduct expenses, payment for non-band members, and all that jazz so he could come up with a net profit figure and then divide the spoils.  I had no idea what our take was going to be, but I had high hopes.  Not only had we had the tour, but we also had merch sales and album sales.  I was going to wait patiently, but it was tough.  Peter had given us each two hundred dollars for the few weeks apart, and Vicki was the only one who’d complained, and that reason was obvious to me, because I knew she had a horrible habit to feed.  I hoped her mom could help her, and I almost felt guilty leaving her to deal with the problem—but it wasn’t like I hadn’t tried.

We were also going to discuss future plans at the meeting—mainly, our next album and how we wanted to go about recording it.  Sure, the raw sound was cool, but we wanted something more polished and professional, something that we knew would get more radio play.  Liz and I had discussed a lot of those ideas during our writing time together, and she and I were of the same mind as to what direction we should take the band.  We figured the other girls would agree, but time would tell.

Before that, though, I had my date with CJ and my birthday…and I couldn’t wait for either.

One morning, three days before my date, mom, dad, and I sat at the breakfast table just like old times.  As much as I loved being home, it felt weird.  I belonged there…and yet I didn’t, and I couldn’t explain or understand why.  Maybe it was because I was already starting to feel like an adult, like I was responsible for myself and my own actions and, when I gave it a good, long look, I concluded that had to be it.  After all, the girls and I had dealt with all kinds of adult things and (mostly) survived, things that I thought a lot of kids our age hadn’t had to handle yet.  That alone, I thought, had forced us to mature.  Well,
me
, at any rate.

Mom and dad were happy for my fame, but they had other questions, and now that I’d kind of “come down” off my road high (and also the low I’d experienced as I unwound), they were ready to chat.  I hadn’t seen it coming.

Dad’s serious tone made me think that, at first, they were going to grill and then chastise me for drug and alcohol use as well as all the stupid indiscriminate sex I’d enjoyed on tour, but they didn’t.  “How did your studies go, Kyle?”

I blinked twice, not having expected
that
question out of all the things he could’ve asked.  Well, there was no avoiding it now and there was no way I could lie—on the road, if I’d been hiding behind my cell phone, I could dodge and evade, but it wasn’t going to happen now.  “Ah…they were okay.”

Mom asked, “How was your tutor?”

Time to ‘fess up.  “Uh…we never did get a tutor.”

“What?  That was one of the things Peter promised he would do when we agreed to let you go on tour.”

“He said he was having problems arranging for someone to come with us on the road, and so he had us study websites.”

Dad frowned.  Both my parents were college educated, so I knew learning was important to them.  “Websites?  Like what?”

“Um, he had us pursue areas of interest.  I read a lot of Wikipedia articles.”  That was not untrue, but I wasn’t going to tell dad that a lot of those articles centered around the music industry, ranging from articles on my favorite bands to various musical instruments, but even articles about various genres in metal and sales certifications in music.  Just so I could feel like I’d done a little “school work,” I’d one time typed in the word
science
and read an in-depth article about the history of science and various branches, and I’d clicked links and read other pages, but that was early in the tour, long before sex and drugs and partying had taken over.  And halfway through the tour, the Vagabonds had their own Wikipedia page, and I hadn’t found out because I’d been looking on my own.  TT had found it, maybe prompted by someone he knew telling him, but he’d had the decency to share it with us.

“Wikipedia?  That’s it?”

I wanted to point to other things, but that was the extent of my online learning, and I knew none of us had done much of anything.  Liz might have spent a little more time at first, but by the end, education had been the last thing on our minds.  We weren’t even reading books.  There was nothing on our plates.  So I had nothing else to report to my parents except the truth.  “Yeah.”

That was when dad got pissed.  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I set my fork down and grabbed my coffee cup.  “I don’t know, dad.  I just didn’t think about it.  We were so busy with—”

“Your education is important, Kyle.  Yeah, right now you have a promising career as a rock star.  But what if that doesn’t continue to pan out…or what if you decide in a few years that you hate it?  You’re not going to be able to just walk into a college and demand an education.  You don’t have your high school diploma and you’ve got no GED.”  I took a long drink of coffee while I absorbed his words.  By the time I set my cup down, his tone had calmed—but that didn’t mean I’d like what he had to say.  “I have half a mind to make you go back to WHS this fall—
as a junior
—so you can catch up on all you missed.  Except I wonder how well you’d do, considering you’ve let your brain deteriorate by not feeding it.”

Oh, I’d done far more than that to my poor brain, but I wasn’t going to say that.  Mom said, “I’m disappointed in Peter for not keeping up his end of the bargain, but why can’t you teach her here at home, honey?  Kyle’s not new to learning in an alternate fashion.”

God, I was over it.  Here was the problem about feeling like an adult when I wasn’t really there yet—I couldn’t yet emancipate…not till July 28.  Besides that, though, I loved my parents and respected their opinions.  The only thing I knew now is that I did
not
want to go back to school.  That felt like a step backwards.  Besides, if my life took the path that I wanted it to, I wouldn’t need the education they wanted me to pursue.  “Science and math aren’t my thing.  She’s going to need more than I can give her in those realms.”

“Okay, well, what about the online alternate high school?  Why don’t we have her do that?  She could even do it while on the road—and it would keep her more accountable than Peter apparently thought to.”

Oh, God, no.  I didn’t want any more school.  I had no issues with learning, but I was tired of formal education, and—after living as an adult, forced to be mostly responsible for myself—I wasn’t going to do it.  Maybe someday but not now.  Being an impetuous teen played into that some as well.  “I’ll just get my GED.”  Oops.  I’d blurted it out without much thought.

“Your GED, Kyle?  That’s what kids—”  Dad stopped himself.  He knew better.  Back in his day, the GED might have been for what he might consider “losers,” but it wasn’t the same today.  Lots of kids didn’t go the traditional route for lots of reasons.  But that wasn’t why dad had paused.  “Fine.  Get your GED.  At least you can get into a community college with it later if you need to.  I just…”  He took in a deep breath through his nose before continuing.  “You’re a smart girl, Kyle, and I feel like you’re selling yourself short.”

I couldn’t force the smile but I
could
find the words.  “I’ve found my calling, dad.  Nothing else really matters.”

Okay, there was
one
other thing that mattered to me…and it kind of went hand in hand with the first thing…

Chapter Thirty-one

EXACTLY WHAT THE fuck was wrong with me? 
Seriously.

I stood in front of the full-length mirror, shaking my head.  Yeah, I looked good, but
what the fuck was I thinking?

Ah, hell, I knew exactly what I was doing.  My reflection was just shocking; that was all.

At least the dress was black…and the skirt was short.  It was simple but it showed off my curves and quite a bit of skin, more than CJ had ever seen from me before.  And that was my mission—to drive him completely out of his mind.  Why?  Because I’d been thinking about the fact that he’d asked me out on the day
before
my birthday—so I was still going to have to wait.

I was going to make him regret it.

When he’d called a few days earlier to make sure we were still on, I’d had that brilliant flash, so I said, “I think I’ll wear a dress.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  It’s a special occasion, right?  So I should look nice.”

He was quiet for a second and then said, “Yeah.  You’re right.  I’ll dress up too.”

So I’d been dying of curiosity, wondering what he was going to do to “dress up.”  God.  Could I be trusted to keep my hands to myself?

Everything else about me was the same—my makeup, my hair, my jewelry.  Oh…but I was also wearing a spicy perfume that I hoped would drive him wild if he got close.

I heard the doorbell ring and felt a jolt of nervous energy travel through my veins.  CJ and I had been friends for over a year, so I didn’t understand why I was freaking out now.  No…that wasn’t true.  I knew.  I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.

It was thanks to the dress that I understood why girls carried purses all the time.  Dresses didn’t have pockets everywhere and, in the summer, there was no wearing a jacket—so I was carrying a purse, something rare for me, and I wound up borrowing one of my mom’s, a tiny flat silver sequined thing that I hoped I wouldn’t accidentally leave behind somewhere.

I heard CJ talking with my parents downstairs, and the conversation sounded friendly and polite.  But, God, I needed to spare him.  I knew my parents could be intense on occasion.

I saw him as I walked down the stairs and appreciated the look on his face.  He liked what he saw—and I loved what I was hearing.  Mom and dad were telling him how much they liked his concert, and they were impressed at his writing skills.

Wow.  I was impressed at how much they knew.

And then I noticed that CJ really
had
dressed the part, too.  He was wearing a fucking suit and tie.  Oh, my God.  I guess I really
was
growing up…and that freaked me out.  A lot.

But looking in CJ’s eyes helped me feel calm—and drawn in, just like he’d always done to me.  He was more gorgeous than ever, and he was almost all mine.  But I had to play it cool.

When I joined my family, mom was asking, “Would you like to sit down for a moment, CJ?”

He smiled, all charm.  “You look lovely tonight, Kyle.”  Then he turned to my mom.  “We’d better not, and I’m sorry, because that’s my fault.  I should have gotten here sooner.  Our dinner reservation is for six-thirty, and I don’t know if we’ll lose our table if we’re late.”

Mom laughed.  “Then you have
plenty
of time.”

CJ half winced.  “In Colorado Springs.”

Dad nodded, looking impressed.  “Where are you going?”

“A French restaurant on the north side.”  Wow.  He really
was
making a big deal out of this and making me feel special.  “What time should I have her home?”

Dad looked at mom as though to assess her thoughts, and I was hoping they’d be cool.  After all, I’d practically been on my own for the past year.  To be fair, they didn’t know how little I’d been supervised.  My parents smiled and dad said, “A better question might be to ask when you plan to have her home.”

CJ tilted his head.  “Well, I was thinking we could go to the movies after…and then maybe dessert.  Then, after the drive back here…”

Mom asked, “Will you feel awake enough to drive back here and home after all that?”

“That’s why we’ll have dessert—coffee too.”

Jesus.  CJ was saying all the right words.  I didn’t know how he’d managed, but at this point, I was pretty sure mom and dad were going to ask to adopt him.  “How about this?  If you think you’ll be here after two, why don’t you call and let us know?”

“Two
AM
?”  I wanted to be sure…because it sounded like, if I’d begged, they would let me stay out all night long.

“That should be enough time, right?”

CJ shrugged.  “Probably.”

My parents told us to have a good time and that they’d see us later.  As we walked away from the house toward that gorgeous black Ferrari of his, I realized that I’d forgotten to make sure he could come to my birthday celebration tomorrow—but then I felt his hand rest on the small of my back before stepping forward a bit and opening the door for me.

Once inside, CJ started the car and we looked back at the house, waving at my parents before he drove off.  The car felt amazing—I could feel the power underneath me, almost like how you can feel a horse’s strength when you’re on its back.  “You look beautiful tonight, Kyle.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my face.  “Thanks.  You…look good enough to eat.  I don’t think I want dinner.”

He laughed.  “I really
do
have dinner reservations.”

How had I guessed?  Yeah…that was all I needed to know that he wasn’t going to have sex with me tonight.  But I was turning eighteen tomorrow and then he wasn’t going to be able to turn me down anymore.  “Good.  ‘Cause I’m hungry as fuck.”

* * *

Dinner was nice and subdued—and I’d loved the food—but I was really glad I’d worn the dress, because I otherwise would have felt completely out of place in that restaurant.  CJ was charming as hell, and we regaled each other with stories about our tour, but I noticed that we stayed away from any stories revolving around sex.  Probably better that way.  We each knew the other hadn’t been celibate on the road, but there was no need to flaunt that fact.

The movie was surprisingly good enough to hold my attention.  It was a raunchy comedy, and both CJ and I probably looked out of place in our more formal attire, but no one could see us once the lights were off and the movie was rolling.  In spite of my dashed hopes for the evening, I was enjoying myself.

When we left the theater, I expected him to ask if I wanted dessert somewhere, because that had been the plan.  But he instead asked, “Want to come to my apartment for a while?”

It was as if time stopped, but once the clock and my heart started ticking again, I did my best to make sure my voice was calm when I said, “I’d love to.”  I hoped I didn’t sound too eager.

I have no idea why I cared what I sounded like, because I’d made no secret about how badly I wanted him.  I think at that point, though, I was afraid of getting hurt.  Reminding him that I cared—and that I wanted him to care back—made me vulnerable.  It was then that I remembered how much my first boyfriend Decker had hurt me, even when I’d thought he meant nothing to me.

Once we were on the freeway and he’d shifted into high gear, he touched my knee.  “I like this dress.”

I pursed my lips together, trying to hide my grin.  “You don’t look half bad yourself.”  Ha.  He looked good enough to fucking eat.  I wasn’t big into suits and ties, but CJ could make anything look good.  So when we got to his place—an apartment building on a bluff overlooking the city, so beautiful it took my breath away—I pulled out my phone and asked him to stand still for a moment under the streetlight next to his car.  “I don’t know that I’ll ever see you in a tie again.  I need a picture to remember this by.”

He started laughing.  “Then I want a picture of you too.”

“Okay.”  I stood still, not much of a pose, but I smiled.

“No, not here.”  I tilted my head in question.  “Let’s go inside.”  It was less than five minutes before we had walked inside his modest apartment.  Everything in there looked new—the furniture and appliances, the artwork on the wall.  I figured, knowing what I knew about him, that it was.  “Now…I know you’re a naughty girl, Kyle, and you would have a drink, but I decided not to offer you one.”  I grinned and playfully stuck my tongue out at him.  He held up his hands, palms facing me, inviting me to press mine against his.  Once our palms were touching, we intertwined fingers and then he gently pushed me against the door, holding my hands above my head.  He brought his lips close to mine and I let out a breath, moving my face forward, trying to kiss him.  He smiled then, and it reminded me of the first time we kissed, how he liked to tease.  He finally put me out of my misery, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth before licking it with his tongue, and then his mouth fully consumed mine.  When he was done, I could barely breathe.  “Know what time it is?”

I forced my eyes open and looked at him, shaking my head.  “No.”

“It’s about ten till midnight.”  I blinked twice, waiting for him to continue.  “Almost your birthday.”

“Yeah.  And I suppose you’re
still
gonna make me wait, huh?”  I refrained from adding
motherfucker
to the end of that sentence.

He half-shrugged, pretending to give it some thought.  “Eh…by the time we’re done, I guess you’ll be of age.”

Holy fucking shit.  Insta-wet panties.  He—he said…  My mind went blank as my body prepared itself for takeoff.  I didn’t trust myself with words anymore, just in case I was assuming or had misunderstood.  I bit my lip and turned my head slightly, not trusting my ears either, but the look in his eyes was unmistakable, so I turned my head back to him and swallowed, then tilted so I could kiss him again.  He still had me pinned up against the door, and for some reason, that was making me really hot.  No foreplay required.

But I tentatively leaned my head, aiming my lips for his, and he teased again, a slight grin on his face, not letting me kiss him yet, so when we finally did again, it was like fireworks exploding in my head.  It was a slow, methodical kiss, and I was pretty sure he was trying to drive me crazy at that point.  Maybe he wanted to see if he could make me come just by kissing me—and I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had.

I felt my heart thumping in my chest and I tried to push back against him with my own body, to let him know how desperate I was feeling, but I had no leverage.  Not only was I weak and helpless with desire, but the way he held me against the door, with my arms overhead and my fingers laced through his, his body pressed up against me, prevented me from moving much at all.

He sucked on my lower lip and then kissed down my neck, and that was when I could hear how my breathing had changed.  I almost found it funny how I’d been waiting close to a year for this moment and yet I felt like I couldn’t wait.  Well, I didn’t think I could wait much longer.  I let out a moan as his lips drifted to my collarbone, exposed by the little black dress I’d worn that evening.

At last, he loosened his grip on my hands, and so I figured it was time for me to get to work.  As his lips ravished mine, my fingers fumbled with his tie.  It took me a bit to figure it out, because I’d never tied one and I didn’t have the advantage of sight, but I got it loose and then he grabbed it and pulled it the rest of the way off while my fingers were beginning to make short work of his shirt buttons.  Then he held me at the waist, pressing me against the door again, and in seconds, I was pulling the shirt out of his pants before running my hands up his bare flesh.

That was a moment to pause and enjoy.  I hadn’t as yet had the pleasure of touching the musculature on the front of his body, and it was solid.  I wondered if he worked out some, because I could feel some definition—nothing like a mammoth bodybuilder, but he was tight and lean.

Back to business, thought.  I finally glided my hands up to his shoulders so I could slide the shirt off his body, and then I broke off our kiss so I could run my mouth along as much of his naked flesh as I could handle.  I heard a slight chuckle in his throat.  “What’s the big hurry?”

I almost giggled, but I said, “I was ready to ask
you
what the hell you’re waiting for.  Do you need a written invitation?”  I looked up at him then, challenging him with my eyes to kiss me again.

He lifted a hand to my face and stroked two fingers along my jawbone.  “I’ve been waiting this whole time too, Kyle, and I’m not gonna just fuck you up against the wall like one of my groupies.”  I felt my eyes grow wide, because I’d never thought of that before.  I knew he’d said his feelings for me were mutual, but I guess I didn’t really believe him because he hadn’t felt the urgency to get together like I had.  I had no words then, just searched his eyes for a signal.

He brought his lips close to mine again and softly touched them before saying, “I have a bed and a bedroom—and those are reserved for someone special.”  He grinned then.  “They’ve been waiting for you.”

I felt my jaw slacken but my body, on autopilot, let him lead me to his room.  I knew at that moment that CJ was most definitely the flame and I was the moth, helpless, drawn to him, no matter the cost.