Once We Were (23 page)

Miss Hathaway held up her unsightly bag. Lavinia scowled. “Never you mind. Mrs. Dillsworth will find you something suitable to wear. Since you are my personal help, you will sleep in the room next to mine. It's a bit small, but it matches your modesty. We cleaned this closet out to make a room three days ago.”

Miss Hathaway spotted the balcony that overlooked the harbor. Someone had placed a curtain over it. It drifted in the wind, revealing the long, unattractive boards that blocked it's entrance. She glanced down the hall at another room boarded off from the house.“Please don't mind those,” Lavinia sighed. “If I had my way, they'd all be torn down. Such a dreadful waste of space. Please follow me to the kitchen. Mrs. Dillsworth will give you further instruction.”

Miss Hathaway waited outside. Pots and pans furiously slammed on the counters. “I appreciate your concern, Miss Appleby,” Mrs. Dillsworth fussed. “But I won't allow it. How can you let strangers into our home after all that the master went through. He deserves to live in peace now with those he trusts.”

“I have considered that,” Lavinia answered. “But you are not in your best health and you could use the help around here.”

“
So is this my replacement notice?” Mrs. Dillsworth demanded. “You mean to throw me out now?”

“
I'm trying to help you!” Lavinia cried. “Last week, you fell and scared the wits out of us. And only yesterday, you knocked a candle over and burned the guest dinning room. You need someone here with you when we're not around. Give her a chance. She's not like the last one. She feels as this house does. She won't get in your way, I promise. She will stay here, understand?”

Mrs. Dillsworth didn't answer as she continued fiercely washing dishes. “Miss Hathaway, will you please come in here?” Lavinia called.

The door opened hesitantly. “Don't mind, Mrs. Dillsworth. We'd just like to make sure you are comfortable here?” Lavinia assured.

Miss Hathaway stepped into the kitchen quietly. Mrs. Dillsworth didn't turn from the sink. “Good evening, ma'am,” Miss Hathaway said. “I don't mean to cause trouble. I am here at your assistance.”

Mrs. Dillsworth froze with a plate in her hand. Lavinia thought she looked a little pale. “Mrs. Dillsworth, are you alright?” she questioned.

Mrs. Dillsworth turned to gaze into the eyes of Miss Hathaway. The plate in her hand slipped and shattered on the floor.

“Oh dear, not again!” Lavinia cried. “Look what you've done! This is exactly why you need help! I'll find the broom! Do not touch anything, Mrs. Dillsworth! I don't want you getting pricked!” She hurried from the room.

Mrs. Dillsworth stared at Miss Hathaway like gazing at her coming death. She signed the cross over her chest and grabbed the rosary from inside her gown. “Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

“Please, ma'am,” Miss Hathaway reached out to her. Mrs. Dillsworth jumped back. “Holy savior, protect us from any spirit that might seek to harm us in this place,” she prayed trembling. “Please go from this place in peace, spirit, and find the light to heaven where you may find rest.” Miss Hathaway gently touched her hand. Mrs. Dillsworth stared at her.

“
I'm not a ghost,” Miss Hathaway told her quietly.

“
Mrs. Saier,” Mrs. Dillsworth breathed. “We thought...we thought you were dead. They swore up and down that they found your body in a ditch by a river miles from here. You drowned!”

“
Please, not so loud. I don't want to cause an uproar,” Cora begged. “Please don't tell Miss Appleby.” Mrs. Dillsworth squeezed Cora against her. “Forgive me, Mrs. Saier!” she wailed. “It has not been easy without you.”

She looked over Cora's face through the tears in her eyes. “You can't hide that pretty face behind those ghastly lenses and ugly shawl. I know it anywhere. Has Mr. Saier seen you?”

“No, he must never know about this,” Cora answered. “Promise me you won't tell him.”

“
He must know!” Mrs. Dillsworth insisted. “He is a broken man. Why would I keep this from him?”

“
It would only put him in danger,” Cora said. “No one can know I'm here. The man who took me is still out there. He doesn't know I escaped. I came back to put an end to him. If he discovers that I'm here, it would destroy everything I've done to keep him oblivious.”

“
But Mr. Saier is marrying Miss Appleby next Sunday,” Mrs. Dillsworth protested. “You are his wife! He must know you're alive! He's making an awful mistake. He'll arrive tomorrow at noon from sea. There's no doubt in my mind that he'll immediately recognize you.”

“
I didn't expect his return so soon. I can't stay here.”

“
But you can't just leave!” Mrs. Dillsworth protested.

“
This is your home. This is where you belong.”

“
This was my home,” Cora said. “It belongs to someone else.”

“
If you go, I can't promise you Mr. Saier will continue to remain in the dark about all this. You'll have to stay if you wish to keep my lips sealed.”

“
You wouldn't.”

“
Try me.”

“
You don't understand how important it is that I remain anonymous.”

“
You don't understand how important you were to that man's life. I won't let you just step out of it again. I won't.”

“
Ioan would know me right away.”

“
Then we shall have to find you a wig and hide those pretty green eyes,” Mrs. Dillsworth suggested. “Don't you ever wonder how they do it in the theater? You can deceive anyone with a little face paint.”

Chapter 19

Mrs. Dillsworth fastened a wig of dark brown curls over her honey brown waves. “What do you think?” Mrs. Dillsworth asked. “Are you a different person?”

“
I should have been born a brunette,” Cora commented. “It's devilishly attractive.”

“
Then it won't work. The objective is to smother all signs of Cora Saier. He can't have a twinge in his gut when he sees you. I got the ginger head just in case. It's the safer alternative.” Mrs. Dillsworth snatched back the dark wig and replaced it with flowing, fiery locks. “This is hopeless, Mrs. Saier. You're pretty in everything. Those eyes, they have to go.”

Cora reluctantly obeyed. The brown color lenses scratched and poked her eyes, but after an hour, she managed them. Mrs. Dillsworth dotted her soft face with freckles and lines. Cora put on the thick glasses and stood before the mirror. “I hardly recognize myself,” she said quietly. “He won't know I'm standing right in front of him.” Mrs. Dillsworth watched her with empathy as she nervously wrung her fingers. “What if he doesn't like me, you know, as a housekeeper?”

“He notices very little in this house. My guess is he won't even know you're there.”

“
I've been dead a year,” Cora answered. “What will I say?”

“
Nothing that will give you away,” Mrs. Dillsworth answered. “Mr. Knightly will be here with the car any minute. Are you sure you want to go about it like this?”

“
Is he happy?” Cora asked. “Does he love her?”

“
I couldn't say, ma'am,” Mrs. Dillsworth said. “Since he announced his engagement to Miss Appleby, he hasn't spent much time with her. He stays away more than he's home. It drives Miss Appleby mad. I do believe she loves him, but his motive of marrying her is beyond all speculation.”

“
This house is still standing in my absence,” Cora said. “I've already broken it once. The merciful thing to do is to remain the ghost. I am Miss Hathaway. Convince yourself I am someone you care very little for.”

The bell rang. Mrs. Dillsworth straightened. “Come along, Miss Hathaway. The master is home.”

She led the way out the kitchen to the hall and then to the door. The bell wailed impatiently. “You'll do well to keep up. The master does not tolerate idling.” Cora could hardly walk. She kept her breath admirably steady. “Wait here,” Mrs. Dillsworth instructed. She hurried to the door. Cora couldn't see the person standing there from where she stood. She could feel him. His presence revived her beating heart. “Breathe,” she reminded herself. “You're a person for whom he has no regard.”

“
Good morning, Mr. Saier. Welcome home,” Mrs. Dillsworth greeted. “May I take your coat, sir?”

He silently handed over his coat and continued down the hall. It was not the man Cora remembered. He was dressed in his finest suit, the ones he swore would never see the outside of his closet. His hair was slick and his eyes emotionless. It seemed as if he'd never learned how to smile. He didn't even look at her as he passed the drawing room. None of his surroundings existed. “Mr. Saier,” Mrs. Dillsworth called. “This is our new help, Miss Hathaway.” He looked back at Cora. “Hm,” he muttered, then turned away again. “I'll be in my study. I require a brandy. I cannae be arsed. Inform Miss Appleby that I will come down when I'm ready and not to knock unless she's dead.”

*
              *              *

Cora stretched a fresh sheet over Lavinia's bed. She smoothed it out and changed the pillow cases. “I had no idea Mr. Saier was home!” Lavinia cried downstairs.

“
You mean to tell me he's been locked up in that study all day?” Ioan stopped in the hall to light his cigar. It was the first time he looked at Cora. He exhaled the smoke in her direction, not caring that he did. Cora waited, but he said nothing. “Can I get you something, sir?” she asked. He turned back into his study and slammed the door. Lavinia  charged from the staircase and yanked the handle. “Mr. Saier, open up!” she demanded. “I'll have a word with you, sir.”

“
Now,” Ioan replied

“
No, not now as in later, now as in now,” Lavinia cried. “Open the door.” She marched inside and Ioan slammed the door again. “Lavinia, I will not be ordered around like a servant. You will address me with all respects. I am still master of this house,” he snapped.

“
I don't like the way you've been acting. I understand there's been some difficulties, but it doesn't mean you have to take them out on everyone in this house. We hired a new servant girl yesterday and you did very little to make her feel welcome.”

“
I don't need to make her feel welcome,” Ioan replied. “She's not my responsibility. She's your help.”

“
As
master
of this house, I expect you to actively involve yourself and not behave like-like an ass.”

“
It's in the blood, my dear. I was born and raised a rotten little shit. Square with it or find a husband who ain't so rich.”

Lavinia's eyes stung tearfully. “We once were very good friends. How did we become so detached?”

“Don't go greetin' again. You're never happy,” he snapped. “You demand so much from me. You have money and servants at your disposal. What more could you possibly need me to give you?”

“
I had to beg you to come home for our wedding,” Lavinia cried. “You scarcely give me time! You hide away in that yacht all summer and try to pretend none of this exists! I exist, Ioan! I've always been here for you! Why can't you do the same for me?”

“
Stop throwing yourself away on me,” Ioan suggested. “I can't give it back to you. I don't feel sorry about it because you know why there's a damn wedding, and any reason short of business is not required from me to marry you.” 

“
You don't love me then? Admit it. I'd like a fair warning before the altar on Sunday.”

“
Madam, if I have given you any impression of that sort, for that only, do I  apologize. You'd benefit from not assuming too much about me. Please keep that in mind,” Ioan answered grimly. He sat down his cigar and continued looking over his stock report. Once more, she was nonexistent. Lavinia's heart irately pounded in her ears. “I'm almost certain if
she
had asked you to stay home, you would have locked both of you in this house!”

“
Don't start with me,” Ioan snapped. “It's always the case with you. Whenever you don't get your way, she is the one to blame. She's not here for you, Lavinia. She's not here for anyone. You've no right to even mention her name in this house.”

“
Ioan, I beg you. I know it's killing you, but you've got to move on. Our marriage won't survive this.”

“
You may go,” Ioan said. “I've lost taste in this conversation.”

Cora had just finished Lavinia's room. Lavinia brushed pass her in tears. “He doesn't mean it, Miss Hathaway,” she assured Cora. “He's just upset, is all. He'll be better after a night's rest.”

“Can I get you anything, miss?” Cora offered.

“
I need a moment alone. Thank you. You're relieved.” Lavinia shut the door. Cora stood frozen in the hall listening to her sobs. Her face flushed angrily. Her fist tightened. Something had to be done. She marched to the study and knocked firmly. “Mr. Saier,” she ordered. “A word with you, sir?” No one answered.

“
I'm coming in,” she warned. She shoved the door open. His chair was empty. He couldn't have gone far. She checked every room. She strode down the familiar passage which led to her old room. She touched the door handle and quietly pushed it open. It was exactly as she'd left it a year ago. Her white scarf and a lock of honey hair laid delicately on the bed. She approached them slowly and spotted her wedding ring resting on the scarf. She turned it over in her hands. It was so unfamiliar, representing a time so simple and naive. It'd been placed on her finger so lovingly, until it was torn away by hate. Cora wept for it and the diamond glistened against her tears.

“
You were instructed to leave this room be. Have you no respect for our privacy?” Ioan blocked the doorway.

Cora startled, dropping the ring on the floor. “I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't see you standing there.”

Ioan picked up the ring. “Find what you were looking for? It's a pretty ring, isn't it? How much do you think they'd give you for it? More than it's worth, that's my guess, with all the lore surrounding it now. Probably more than my entire fortune. You'll want to be careful with this one. You'd bite in more than you can chew. What are they going to think when a girl like you shows them a ring like this?”

“
I wasn't trying to steal it,” Cora defended.

“
Right. There's a good one,” Ioan grabbed her arm dragged her out of the room.

“
Mr. Saier, let go of me, sir!” Cora cried. “You're hurting me! I've done nothing wrong!”

“
What's going on here?” Lavinia ran from the room. “What's all this about?”

“
Go back to bed, Lavinia,” Ioan barked. “I'll deal with you in the morning. Mr. Knightly, phone the authorities and tell them to get down here immediately. This wench tried to make off with our things.”

“
Miss Appleby, it's not how it looks! I swear it!” Cora cried. “I wandered into the wrong room! I shouldn't have touched anything! It wasn't my place! But I never intended to harm anyone!”

“
Ioan, there must be a mistake! I trust Miss Hathaway entirely. This is not in her nature.”

“
You're taking my word against some tramp's you saved from the street?” Ioan demanded. “You were wrong to pick her and you're too stubborn to admit it.”

“
It has nothing to do with that. Perhaps you didn't see what you think you saw,” Lavinia cried. “Miss Hathaway would never hurt this family.”

“
I want her out of this house,” Ioan ordered. “Get your things. You are terminated without pay. If you know what's best for you, do not show yourself here again. Go on. Get a move on.”

“
Don't you dare push me!” Cora shrieked. “You can't go around treating people like this! It's not right no matter how you try to justify it!”

Ioan stared at her. Lavinia glanced nervously between Cora and Ioan. Mrs. Dillsworth waddled from the staircase. She snatched Cora away from Ioan before she said another word. “Please, sir, she's new to this business,” Mrs. Dillsworth pleaded. “It was an honest mistake. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I failed to inform her about the room. I will take the penalty for her actions.”

“No,” Cora snapped. “He needs to understand that he can't just-”

“
He can, Miss Hathaway. He can. That's quite enough,” Mrs. Dillsworth whispered to her.

“
Get out,” Ioan told Cora. “I won't repeat myself.”

“
With pleasure,” Cora replied. “I wanted so much to believe in you, but it seems they proved me wrong. You are nothing but a monster.” Lavinia helplessly watched her storm away.

“
I saw a better gentleman in your father,” Lavinia snapped at Ioan. “Not even he behaved the way you do. Your wife is better off where she is. She would have laid you out cold if she saw how you handle things now, and I wouldn't have lifted a finger to stop her.”

“Mrs. Saier-Miss Hathaway, please! Give him another chance! He needs you to stay here!” Mrs. Dillsworth begged.

“
I will not tolerate this abuse. No one should have to,” Cora replied, grabbing her bag. “I don't know that man anymore. To think he'd even lay a hand on me!”

“
Where will you go in the middle of the night?” Mrs. Dillsworth cried.

“
I doubt you'll find a room at this hour,” Ioan's voice came from the hall. “You may stay here until morning.”

“
No, thank you. I can find my own way,” Cora answered.

“
It won't be cheap,” Ioan replied. “Report to my study.”

Cora reluctantly followed him. “What am I to do with two days pay?”

“I've made a habit of insuring all my debts are paid, big or small,” Ioan said. “Fifty pounds and we'll call it even.”

“
I don't need that kind of money.”

Ioan ignored her as he wrote out the note. “You would have gotten loads more if you'd cashed in that ring,” he commented.

“I told you I didn't steal it.”

He signed his signature. “You're in for something quite rare, Miss Hathaway. It seems I owe you an apology,” he said. “I am a monster. Sometimes I don't realize it, but it is what it is. I'm not asking you to forgive me for it. I just thought you should know you were right about one thing.”

“Is that all?” Cora asked.

“
Yes,” he replied.

She tried to take the note from him, but he held onto it. “Well, as I said before, good day, sir,” she said.

“There's one more thing,” he said. “I hope you'll change your mind about leaving. My betrothed is obsessed about you. Lord knows why.” He looked her over in displeasure. “I'll have the devil to pay if you go.”