One Last Time (13 page)

It’s been a little over a week since I began working for the Underground Railroad. I’ve met cargo in the carriage house three times now. It’s quite fulfilling, even though I don’t do much. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to creep through hidden tunnels and escort people to their rooms. Still, it’s rewarding to see the look on their faces when they enter a room that could rival a presidential suite.

It’s also been a little over a week since Quillan kissed me. The two of us are growing closer despite our best efforts not to. I can still remember the sensation of his lips on mine. No matter how much time passes, I don’t think I will ever forget the feeling. Unfortunately, that is my curse. Again, I try to push the thought from my mind.

We have eighteen days left before the fateful hanging of Lunar Wilson. The countdown of both events produces a twisting in my stomach. Things have been going pretty smoothly, so in keeping up with our story, Quillan has secured a piece of land in town, making it appear he is opening up the savings and loan he promised. He had a brilliant idea of enlisting the help of Lunar and the Wilson boys to construct the building. James Faulkner was more than eager to lend Lunar and his brothers out, hoping he would get special privileges once the savings and loan opened. However, we only get their help for a short period of time since harvest of the rice crop begins next week. Having Lunar and his brothers in such close proximity is beneficial, allowing us to have our secret meetings for the Underground Railroad without sneaking off to the rundown shack.

It’s a beautiful day. The heat has relented some, and the humidity isn’t as high. I am bringing food for Quillan and the boys. It’s nearing lunchtime. Emily insisted on helping, but I know she is coming along to be near Lunar. She hasn’t confessed her love for him to me yet. I am surprised since she and I have become besties. I’m sure going to miss her. Once again, I push reality away, refusing to deal with it. I’m getting good at this
.

Quillan is up on the roof with Lunar when we pull up in the carriage. Both are engrossed in their work so our arrival goes unnoticed. I sit and watch a moment before exiting the carriage. Both guys are shirtless, sweating profusely, and both have their hair pulled back in a ponytail, Lunar with his dreads in tow. Quillan must feel a sense of wonderment working side by side with his father. I’m wondering if Lunar perceives any connection. I glance over at Emily who is taking in the view, as well. A faint smile displays itself in her eyes, trying hard to push through the haunting pain that dilutes her joy. She must detect my gaze because she removes her stare from the boys and casts her eyes on me. For the first time ever, she doesn’t put on her happy mask and act as if everything is hunky-dory. Instead, we sit there and stare at each other, two heartsick women who have love stories we can’t share.

“Lunch is here!” I yell up to the roof. The hammering stops when Quillan sees me. I notice the sparkle in his eyes when he does. I can’t help but smile as I lift the picnic basket in the air.

I dole out the sandwiches, forgetting whites don’t serve colored people. The Wilson boys look a bit reluctant at first until I assure them I’ve washed my hands. Jeb is the first to laugh and take the offered food. Besides, no one is paying much attention to what is going on over here, anyway. Emily and Lunar steal glances at each other, and I try not to act like I notice. It’s a funny thing, this life. Time will separate me and Quillan forever, and as tragic as that is, it separates Emily and Lunar, too. Their love is too progressive for the time period in which they were born. Someone somewhere made a rule they can’t be together because their skin color doesn’t match, even though their spirits are the same.

The men finish their lunch and return to work. Quillan gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek and heads back up the ladder. My stomach drops at the feel of his lips against my face. I know he is only keeping up our pretense, but deep inside, I think he enjoys it.

Emily and I are leaving when three shifty-looking men approach our small construction site. I can tell by the way they are sizing us up that they’re the kind of men you steer clear of. Their kind are like cockroaches, surviving hundreds of years, never evolving into anything beneficial, just lurking in dark corners, bringing filth and disease whenever they come out of hiding. Two of them are looking up at the roof at Quillan and the boys. Their spokesman is eyeing Emily and me. He has one hand on the brim of his hat, and the other hand grabs his belt buckle.

“Afternoon, ladies.” He makes a lazy effort to tip his hat. “What’s going on here?”

I want to ignore him and brush past him like I would do to losers back in my time, but its Emily who stops me before I get the chance. As usual, she displays her perfect manners.

“It’s a savings and loan. My friend and her husband are the proprietors.”

Slimy man removes his eyes from Emily and directs his attention to me. “Those your Negroes up there?” I hate the way his question sounds. Before I can come up with a smart-ass answer, Emily replies for me. “Those workers belong to my daddy, James Faulkner. They are on loan for the week.” Even in her most proper exchange, I can hear the shame in her voice as she lays claim to owning any human being, let alone Lunar himself.

“You’re James Faulkner’s daughter?” Slimy’s lips pull into an impish smirk as if he’s discovered buried treasure. “I guess all those stories about the rice princess are true then.” I do not like the look in Slimy’s eyes. Neither does Quillan because he comes down the ladder and steps between Emily and me. “Something I can help you with?” he asks.

Slimy spits a pool of tobacco juice on the ground that lands pretty close to Quillan’s boots. I guess all animals mark their territory. I want to say something disparaging, but I’m going to try and let Quillan handle this.

“Me and my friends here came up outta Georgia. We’ve been hired to capture some runaways and investigate the Underground Railroad. Seems the tracks go right through these parts.”

Quillan eyes Slimy. “Well, I can’t help you there. I don’t know anything about the Underground. But, if you’re looking for a loan and a good place to save your money, I can help you.”

“Naw,” he says. “Won’t be needin’ a loan once I catch them runaways. Plantation owners are payin’ me handsomely for each slave I return and for any information I can bring back on that damn railroad.” He turns back to Emily. “Your Negroes ever sing in the rice fields?”

Emily nods her head slowly, obviously confused at Slimy’s random question.

“Our Negroes in Georgia sing while they work, too. Or at least used to, till we found out their songs are filled with secret messages. This little song is quite popular down there. I’m wonderin’ if you ever heard it around here.” Slimy clears his throat and sings a haunting tune. “In the dead of night, I saw the light, shining in the shallow water. A princess fair, with crimson hair, hiding us in the house of her father.”

Now is the time for a disparaging comment, anything to divert Slimy’s attention away from the horror carved into Emily’s face.

“Don’t quit your day job.” I draw Slimy’s attention back to me. “Sorry, but your singing voice isn’t that great.” Slimy’s friends laugh, but he just stares a hole through me. Meanness must run through the man’s veins.

“We’re done here.” Quillan’s voice resounds with authority. “We have work to do.”

Slimy backs off slowly. Tipping his hat at Emily, he walks away, whistling the disturbing tune.

Lunar is down the ladder as soon as the three from Georgia disappear around the corner. Overcome with fear, Emily casts off all restraint and grabs his arm. “Lunar, you can’t pick up the cargo tonight. None of us can. Those men are going to be watching us close.”

“But they’re expecting to be met.” Lunar’s concern for his people manifests on his face. “Without us, they’ll get captured for sure.”

“If they do, they will be returned to their owners, but they will hang you. I couldn’t bare it!”

So much for their discrete romance. “She’s right,” Quillan interjects. “You can’t take the risk. We can come up with an alternate plan.”

“Besides,” I add my own two cents’ worth. “Those men will be watching the front of the house. Hang the lantern on the hitching post. It will keep them mesmerized while we sneak in through the back like we always do.”

Lunar is looking at me like I’m not so crazy anymore, but I can still see reservation in his face. “Who’s going to meet the cargo then?”

“I will,” I say, feeling like a ventriloquist’s dummy. Who said that? Surely, not me? Quillan appears surprised. “We will,” he adds himself in the mix, and I am thrilled.

Lunar nods, accepting his protection. “I’ll be watching and have the boys looking out, too, just in case you run into any trouble.”

With the plan set, the boys head back up to the roof, and Emily and I take our leave. Despite our alternate plan for tonight and possibly the rest of this month, concern still shows in her face. Sighing, she finds an interesting spot on her dress to pick at, her way of dealing with the anxiety.

I wait a minute before driving away in the carriage. “You and Lunar could run off together.” My statement brings her head up instantly. Before she can object, I continue, “You can’t help who you love, Emily.” Color drains from her face at my disclosure.

“Come on, Emily.” I smile. “It’s pretty obvious, the way you two steal glances at each other, not to mention your extreme care for his well-being.” Of course I am lying. It’s not that obvious. They do a great job of hiding their affection. Still, I cannot disclose how I am privy to inside information.

“Oh my, I better watch myself. I didn’t know it was obvious. My daddy would hang him from the highest tree if he ever found out.”

I gulp; if she only knew.

“Why?” I choke out. “If he loves you, he will understand.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Her fiery-red curls shake in objection. “He would be ashamed of me. It would ruin us. We could lose so much.”

“Lose so much of what?” I ask, hearing the bitterness in my own voice.

“Daddy would lose his reputation. We would lose friends, business, and people wouldn’t buy our rice. Daddy could lose everything.”

I shake my head. Some things never change. Every decision is always based on the mighty dollar.

“On the contrary, think of what you can lose by not admitting it,” I say. “If you shy away from the truth, you could lose Lunar, not to mention the children that would be born to you.”

She sighs. “I wish it was as easy as you make it sound, but can you imagine bringing children into this situation. It wouldn’t be fair. I think they are better off never being born at all.”

I want to take her small face in my hands and point it up to Quillan pounding in nails with a hammer. I want to scream in her ear that he’s her unborn son, here fighting for his chance at a life. I want to tell her, if she takes the cowardly way out and ends it all in eighteen days, Quillan will simply disappear, leaving nothing but the lingering shadow of a life that could have been. Instead of piling on guilt, I decide to offer her some hope.

“Life never stays the same, Emily. Your best days are yet to come. Believe me when I say, there will come a day when colored people walk free and have the same rights as you and me. Why it’s even possible a colored man will become president.” She laughs when I say it until I smile with confidence. Her smile fades and she tilts her head. She narrows her eyes as if she’s trying to look inside of me and discover my ruse. I don’t turn away. I let her look because deep down, I want her to see.

“Like I said before, Miss Averie, I do believe you are clairvoyant. You know things. I don’t know how you know them, but I know you do.”

“Then trust me, Emily.” I take her hand in mine. “There will come a day when you will have to defend your love. Believe me when I tell you, it will be worth the risk.”

The fireflies are playing hide-and-seek, dodging between the moss that hangs from the massive branches of the giant oaks. In a way, they seem to be blazing a trail for Quillan and me as we walk hand in hand along the riverbank, keeping up our pretense as a young married couple, taking an evening stroll after dinner, or supper, as they call it around here. We’re headed for the cave we discovered our first day here. It’s the place we are to wait for the cargo. Emily informed us it has a back entrance, too. Another covert tunnel that comes in handy for runaways.

As soon as we are out of sight from the estate, Quillan drops my hand. My heart falls along with it. His integrity will not allow him to start something he cannot finish. He believes it’s best this way, even though I might be willing to live with a broken heart. I’ve heard the old saying,
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I know what it means now. I’m thinking I might tell him once we arrive at the cave. We will have a couple of hours to kill while we wait for the cargo. I can bare my soul. If I humiliate myself, I have the peace of mind knowing Quillan will never remember it happening. I sigh and hug myself, rubbing my arms as a shiver tickles at my skin.

“You nervous?” he asks, picking up on my anxiousness.

“A little,” I lie. I am scared as hell, but it’s more about the risk I will take in vomiting out my feelings, and not so much the risk of transporting the cargo. Even though that has me just as nervous.

We arrive at the mouth of the cave. It’s much creepier in the dark than it is in the light of day. I duck to enter, making sure not to bang my head on the low rock ceiling. Again, Quillan’s places his hand on the small of my back as we go in. He leads me farther inside. We pass the large boulder I dressed behind our first day here. Even though it has been a little over a week, it seems like months ago. So much has happened in such a small amount of time.

“Lunar told me there are lanterns, oil, and matches here,” Quillan informs me as he searches behind the rock. Using my hands for eyes, I stumble around. The sound of metal sliding across the dirt tells me I found them. Quillan takes them from me. “We’re not to light up until we are deep in the cave. Lunar told me to keep the glow low, a signal to let the cargo know we are here.” I follow along, totally trusting my guide. Never in my life would I have entered this far inside a cavern. I’ve always feared caves. Not only are they dark and creepy and more than likely full of bats and bears, but these hollow rocks are also capable of collapsing and burying me alive until I suffocate. The darkness is overwhelming now. I can’t see my hand in front of my face, so I stop walking for fear of tripping and falling down some gloomy cavity.