Only His (23 page)

They hugged.

When they straightened, Cat smiled at her. “If I could have loved anyone, it would have been you.”

Nevada touched her cheek. “I'll bet you say that to all the girls.”

Cat climbed into the limo. Herbert shut the door, then scurried around to the passenger seat and got in. Seconds later, the long, black car drove away.

Nevada stood there in front of the hotel. The after
noon was clear, but the forecast called for snow that night. It was perfect weather for a fire and maybe a man in front of that fire.

But she wanted more than that. Telling Cat the truth had opened up something inside of her. Something she'd been afraid to admit.

She did want more than a lover. She wanted a husband and a family. She wanted to have roots and traditions. She wanted to hear the man she loved tell her he loved her back. She wanted to know they would be there for each other, no matter what. She wanted it all.

 

T
HE DRIVE TO THE WORK SITE
had never taken so long or seemed so short, Nevada thought as she parked her truck next to the trailer. She'd had enough time to try to talk herself down, all the while considering what she was going to say.

She knew there was risk involved, that the conversation could go very badly, but still she had to try. She owed herself that.

She walked into the trailer. Tucker was on the phone. He smiled when he saw her and motioned he wouldn't be long. A few seconds later, he hung up.

“What did Cat want?” he asked.

“To say goodbye. She left.”

“What about the statue? Did she change her mind?”

“No such luck. It's finished and she wants me to present it to the town.”

“Better you than me. Mayor Marsha isn't going to be happy.”

A problem for another time, she thought, walking toward him.

She took the seat next to his desk and drew in a breath. She was shaking a little and thought she might have to throw up. Not the best combination, but waiting would only make things worse.

He drew his eyebrows together and touched her cheek. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I have to tell you something.”

“You're running off with Cat.”

“No. Although she did ask.”

“You have to give her points for persistence.”

“I do.” She looked into his eyes. “Tucker, I know your relationship with Cat was difficult. That you were obsessed with her.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Tell me about it. What a mistake.”

“It was, but you were a kid.”

“Nearly twenty-three. I should have known better.”

“How? You'd grown up all around the world, never settling in one place. You didn't know what it was like to just date someone. To have a crush and then get over it. Then you met Cat, and even someone with a whole lot more relationship experience couldn't have handled her very well. You did the best you could.”

He looked uncomfortable. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because you learned the wrong lesson. Love isn't a trap. Love is a gift. It makes us stronger. Look at Will. He's a great guy and loves his job and his life, but have you ever seen him happier? He's walking away from all of this because he wants to be with Jo.”

“That's his decision.”

“Do you think he'll regret it?”

“I don't know.”

“Yeah, you do.”

He shrugged. “Okay, he's happy. So what?”

Here it was. The moment of truth. Did she have the courage to say it? To put herself out there? Until this moment, she never had. She'd always taken the safe road, made the easy decision. The biggest risk in her life had been applying for this job. Now it was time to take the next step.

“I love you,” she told him. “We're good together. I want you to stay and be a part of my life. I want us to have a future.”

She paused, not sure if she could continue or not. As she was trying to make up her mind, she saw horror enter his eyes. Instead of being happy or intrigued, he looked angry.

“Don't start,” he said, standing. “Dammit, Nevada, why do you have to do this? I told you before. You said you understood. Don't you get it? I'm not interested.”

With that he walked out.

She stared after him, her heart pounding, her mind unable to absorb what had just happened so quickly. Then she heard the rumble of his truck, the spray of gravel and he was gone.

 

N
EVADA DIDN'T TELL ANYONE
. She couldn't. Pain and shame were an uneasy combination she wasn't willing to share. She finished her day, went home, got through the night and returned to work the next morning. She didn't cry. She also didn't sleep or eat. She was numb most of the time, but when the pain came, it was like knives.

She walked into the trailer telling herself she was getting her hard hat, but secretly she wanted to see Tucker again. Tucker, who hadn't called. Instead she found Will at his desk.

He looked up when she walked in. His look of concern warned her, but couldn't begin to prepare her.

“Nevada,” he said. “I don't know….” He cleared his throat. “He just…” Will crossed to her. “I'm sorry.”

She got it then. Reality slammed into her, nearly knocking her to her knees. She looked around the trailer, seeing what was still there, noticing what was gone.

“He left,” she said flatly.

“I'm sorry,” Will repeated.

Tucker was gone. He hadn't called in sick or left to meet with a subcontractor. Instead he'd fled Fool's Gold completely. Without a word.

She knew without asking that he was never coming back.

D
ESPITE
M
AYOR
M
ARSHA'S
best efforts, people found out about the unveiling ceremony. Nevada had noticed the lack of signs and postings in the online events calendar. For a town that prided itself on keeping its citizens informed, the powers that be had been completely silent when it came to the original sculpture by Caterina Stoicasescu.

Nevada appreciated that she wasn't asked a lot of questions. She'd managed to get through the past few days by sheer force of will. She'd done her job, and when it was time to go home, she went back to her place, curled up in bed and got up again in the morning.

Some nights she cried. Others she laid in the dark, waiting for the pain inside to lessen just a little. One night she'd actually slept, which would have been a blessing, except she kept dreaming about Tucker.

Before realizing she was in love with him, dealing with her sisters' double wedding had been a little uncomfortable. Now it was going to be a nightmare. While she'd never imagined she and Tucker would join them as a couple, she'd counted on having him around. Later, she'd imagined a whole lot more. Now all of that was gone. Lost.

Because the construction site was outside of town,
no one was used to seeing him around very much. Word of his departure hadn't spread. The guys on the site knew, but they weren't going to talk, not to people in town or even to her. They were just a little protective on the job, and they watched her cautiously, so she figured out that they knew.

Will kept his distance. Perhaps because he didn't want her asking him questions or maybe because he felt bad that he was so happy. Nevada planned on telling him she was glad he and Jo were together. That having her heart broken and losing the man she'd probably loved for the past ten years wouldn't change that. Just because she wasn't getting her happy ending didn't mean she wasn't interested in other people being together.

If she felt guilty about anything, it was keeping the truth from her family. Not so much her brothers, but her sisters and her mom. They would want to be there for her, to offer comfort. Her friends in town would feel the same way. But she couldn't face one of those huge “the guy's a jerk” events that inevitably followed. Until she figured out how she was going to survive the loss, she had to manage her heartache alone and get through the unveiling ceremony without anyone figuring out there was a problem.

The mayor had scheduled the event for three in the afternoon—just when most of the schools were letting out. Nevada guessed her plan was that the mothers and kids would be busy and unable to attend, and most businesspeople would be at work. That left only a small group of the community who would be available to attend.

Sure enough, when Nevada arrived in the center of town, there were only a handful of residents milling around the fabric-covered statue.

“You're here,” the mayor said, crossing to Nevada. “I want this to be brief. No fanfare. I'll just speak a few words, then we'll expose the damn thing to the world.”

The older woman looked more resigned than happy. While Nevada hadn't seen the completed piece, she'd seen the sketches and knew it was everything the mayor wanted to avoid.

“I'm sorry I couldn't talk her out of giving this to the town,” she said.

Mayor Marsha shook her head. “Ms. Stoicasescu is very stubborn. No one could have changed her mind. I can only hope someone will vandalize it quickly and we'll be forced to take it down.” She smiled. “After all, we have an insurance policy to cover that sort of thing.”

“Have you seen it?” Nevada asked.

“No. I couldn't stand to watch while they installed it.” She glanced up at the fabric blowing in the light breeze. “I shudder to think what people are going to say. I hope the media doesn't find out about this. They'll be back in a heartbeat.”

She glanced at her slim watch. “All right. Let's get this over with.”

The mayor walked to the microphone that had been set up next to the covered sculpture.

“Good afternoon. It is with pleasure that I present the work of Caterina Stoicasescu. This gifted artist has given the town an original piece. To quote her, it represents all that is beautiful and feminine in the town of Fool's Gold.”

The mayor pressed her lips together, then nodded at a woman in a city park uniform. She pressed a button, and a pulley system was activated. Over the low hum of the engine winding the rope, the heavy canvas rose higher and higher.

Nevada stared at the slender supports, then the bottom of the piece came into view.

The metal curved into a near point. Random squiggling designs decorated the sides. As the cover exposed more, the V shape was more pronounced. At the top, two bulging pods sat on either side of the curving V.

Nevada tilted her head as she stared. To be honest, it wasn't all that vaginalike—probably a good thing for the town.

“What is it, Mommy?” a little boy asked.

“I have no idea,” his mother replied, sounding puzzled.

“Thank God,” Mayor Marsha murmured.

For the first time in days, Nevada laughed.

 

T
UCKER'S FATHER'S OFFICE
was about the size of a bus terminal, with sweeping views of Lake Michigan. Tucker generally enjoyed visiting Chicago. He liked the feel of the city, the restaurants, enjoyed the people. But this time he wasn't interested in his surroundings. Instead of enjoying the view, he paced in front of his father's desk.

“I can't go back,” he repeated for the third or fourth time. “I'm totally at fault. I shouldn't have gotten personally involved. I know better. I didn't mean to, but she was there, you know? Just there.”

He paused and looked at his father, who was simply watching him.

“She's beautiful. That's part of it. Not traditionally gorgeous like Cat or some model, but there's something that grabs you, and then doesn't let go.” He jammed his hands into his jeans pockets, then pulled them out. “She's good at her job. The guys like her a lot. They respect her. And she's funny. I have a good time with her.”

He stopped in front of his father's desk. “So, you see why I have to leave.”

“No,” Elliot Janack said slowly. “I don't.”

“I can't be with her. I know what she'd want. Love. Marriage. Forever.”

“Why is that bad?”

Tucker started for the door, then turned back. “I never told you what happened with Cat. Caterina Stoicasescu. That artist? We did the installation for her about ten years ago. It was the first time you put me in charge of a job. I fell for her, Dad. I fell hard.”

Haltingly, he detailed his obsession with the irresistible artist and how difficult it had been to break away.

“I don't want that. Sure, Nevada is great and I'm going to have a hell of a time getting over her, but I can't be that man again.”

His father nodded. “So, what's the plan?”

“I take on another job. Prove myself. I know you're disappointed that I'm not staying on to finish up the Fool's Gold resort.” He shook his head and swore. “Finish. It's not even started. The pipes are just now going in. There's a lot to do. Will's a great guy and capable,
but this is bigger than anything he's ever done. He's going to need help.”

Elliot leaned back in his chair. “Why do you think you have anything to prove?”

“I have to earn my way into the position. You're not going to leave the company to me just because I'm your son.”

“That might be a concern if you were someone else, Tucker. But you've been capable of running Janack Construction for years. Everyone else knows that—I've been hoping you'd figure it out, too. The only reason you're not in charge now is that I haven't been ready to step down. I didn't ask you to run the Fool's Gold project to prove anything. You said you were interested, so I gave it to you. You've already earned my trust, and you've always had my love. I'm proud of you.”

Tucker felt like he was a kid again, all long legs and awkward gestures. He swallowed. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You're welcome.” His father motioned to the chair in front of his desk. “Ready to have a seat?”

“Sure.”

He sank onto the soft cushion, then wanted to jump up again. He couldn't just sit still. He needed to be doing something. Get busy. Or run.

He pushed the last impulse away. He wasn't running. He was making an intelligent choice. There was a difference. Not a big one, but it was enough.

“When your mother died,” his father began, “all that kept me going was knowing I had to take care of you. I couldn't stand to stay here, there were too many memories. So I took you wherever the work was. All over the world. I told myself that you would enjoy liv
ing in different places, meeting different people. And you did. But while you gained a lot, you also lost out.”

Elliot leaned forward in his chair. “You didn't get to have the same friends year after year. You never stayed in a school long enough to play sports or fall for the girl. I'm not saying there weren't women. I still remember that incident with the ambassador's daughter when you were seventeen.”

Tucker grinned. “Hey, that wasn't my fault. She's the one who crawled into
my
window to wish me happy birthday.”

His father smiled. “Point taken. But while there were different girls, you never stuck around long enough to fall for any of them. Until Cat.”

Tucker studied his dad. “You say that like you knew her.”

“I knew of her. One of the guys on the crew called me and told me what was going on. He said you were in over your head, but I figured it was time you learned about life and love. So I stayed away.”

Tucker grimaced. “They knew?”

His father laughed. “You weren't subtle. You fell hard, got your heart broken and learned your lesson, just like I'd planned. Only it was the wrong lesson, son. Love doesn't make you a fool. Some of us are blessed with several partners we can love, while others never find anyone. But the lucky ones find that one person who changes everything. For me, it was your mother. I love her as much today as I did when I proposed. I would rather have had her those few years than have loved anyone else for a lifetime.”

Elliot's mouth twisted. “I would give all this away.”
He motioned to his office. “I would sacrifice everything but you to have her back just for a day. To love is to be blessed. What you had with Caterina was…”

“An obsession,” Tucker said grimly. “I've heard.”

“But you don't believe. You think you can't love and still be who you are. You think the price of love is too high. You're wrong. Love is worth everything. Not that I'm going to be able to convince you,” his father added.

“Probably not.”

Elliot nodded. “Fair enough. Let's get together in the morning and talk about the next step. We can start the transition for you to take over the company now or find another job you want to run.”

That was more than Tucker had expected. “Thanks, Dad.” He rose.

“You're welcome.”

His father stood and walked around his desk. The two men hugged. Elliot put his hands on his son's shoulders.

“Your mother would be very proud of you. She loved you.”

Tucker thought of the vague memories that had no real form and wished he could have had her in his life longer. But she'd been taken without warning, leaving behind a little boy and a grieving husband.

Tucker left.

Once he was in the hallway, he crossed to the elevator and pushed the button to go down. He kept a small apartment in the city. Getting some sleep seemed like a good idea. Then he'd give some serious thought to what he wanted to do next. Getting out of the country sounded good. He would stay busy. Forget. Because there was no going back.

 

S
OMETIME AROUND THREE
the next afternoon, Tucker decided to throw his TV out the window. There was nothing on the damn thing. Despite the fact that he hadn't slept in two days, had spent nearly three hours working out in the gym in his building and had walked most of the city, he couldn't relax, couldn't focus and couldn't find anything to watch on television. He needed to be in a rain forest somewhere. Maybe a decent jungle fever would put his world into perspective.

He got up from the sofa and crossed to the small kitchen. In the refrigerator he found beer and leftover pizza. Neither appealed. Still restless, he walked toward the bedroom. Maybe if he took a shower he would get sleepy, or at the very least, forget.

He was halfway there when someone rang his doorbell.

Nevada!

He knew it was her, he thought, as he jogged to the door. She'd come to knock some sense into him. To yell at him and tell him why he was wrong. She would convince him and he'd let her and…

He opened the door only to find Cat standing in the hallway of the condo building.

“Oh,” he said, disappointed and frustrated. “It's you.”

“I'm not that happy to see you, either,” she snapped, pushing past him. “I feel horrible. I haven't been working. I'm lost and nothing helps.”

She stepped into the middle of his living room and faced him. Misery pulled at her face and her mouth was a full pout.

“I hate this,” she said, then stomped her foot. “I miss
Nevada and I miss that stupid little town. What little creativity I felt is gone. But now I don't know what to do. Cody was a disappointment.”

“Who's Cody?”

“Oh, one of the college boys renting a room from Nevada. I thought he would help, but he doesn't. Then I remembered how good you and I were together, so I came here. You have to fix this, Tucker. I need you.”

Her voice was a whine, her expression petulant. She was a child who hadn't gotten her way. After stomping out of the party, she regretted what she'd done and wanted to go back.