Only You (12 page)

He stilled in the act of smoothing her hair back from her face. “No,” he insisted. “I’m not . . . You’re not . . .” But he was. In love with Maggie Kennedy. Or halfway there. Close enough that he could imagine what their life together would be like.

How fucking ironic was it that he would fall in love with a woman who was desperate to have a baby?

He cleared his throat. “Don’t fall for me, Maggie. I’m never going to be a good enough man for you.” He put his fingers on her mouth to stop her from arguing. “Just . . . don’t.”

He pulled away from her warmth and softness and said, “It’s been a long day. I know we need to talk, but not now. When you come back to the ranch, we’ll talk then.”

He turned and walked away. Only after he heard her door open and close did he let out his pent-up breath. The bitter, anguished feeling in his gut was exactly why he had refused to become involved with anyone again. Like he’d told Maggie, he’d never be good enough for her, and after they had their “talk” she’d agree with him.

Maggie collapsed on the sofa the moving team had just installed in JD’s living room. After five days away shopping for JD’s house, she was exhausted. The city had grated on her nerves, and she was glad to be back. Living in the country spoiled a person with the lack of constant noise and pollution. Or maybe she was coming down with that flu everyone had. She’d felt a little queasy when she’d gotten up this morning.

She could have finished her shopping list in two days, but she’d needed the time alone to, well, ground herself, she supposed. Her world had gone cock-eyed the night she realized she was falling in love with JD. She blushed, recalling how he’d recoiled from her. Why had she blurted out the truth like that? It’s not as though she was going to pursue him. He obviously wanted nothing to do with her except for the occasional roll in the hay. She snorted. How apropos.

She shoved to her feet and looked around the living room crowded with boxes and pieces of furniture. Most of what she’d purchased had been delivered before she’d returned. Now all she had to do was put everything where it belonged. Thank goodness Claire and Sammie had offered to help, because JD had taken himself off to some distant pasture to help round up this year’s calves for branding. She didn’t know if his help was really required out on the range or if he was avoiding her. And wasn’t that the most depressing thought ever? But not surprising, because she’d never fit in anywhere. Still didn’t.

She ripped the plastic wrapping off a lovely modern bentwood chair. Screw being a misfit, she was going to buy a house and make her own spot to belong in. And in a day or two when she felt rested, she was going to corral Sammie and Claire into going to the local bar. There had to be at least one cowboy who fit the bill as a sperm donor, and she was going to find him, get pregnant and start a life right here, close to her two best friends.

“Yikes,” Claire said from the doorway, Sammie right behind her. “You bought a lot of stuff. When did you get back? I didn’t hear you come in last night.”

“Midnight. I didn’t want to bother anyone, so I got a taxi from the airport.” She looked around the room. “JD needed everything. Thanks so much for giving me a hand. I’m not feeling very kindly toward JD right now, with him taking off like that.”

Sammie crossed the room and gave her a hug. “Dave said they do the roundup this time every year, and it’s JD’s favorite part of ranching. Don’t take it personally.”

That was the problem, wasn’t it? She took everything to do with JD personally.

She hugged Sammie and ran a hand through her friend’s short hair. “I love your new ’do. It makes your eyes look big and mysterious.” Maggie always felt like an overgrown klutz standing beside Sammie. She was so small and delicate.

Sammie’s face lit up. “You think?”

“Yes. It also draws attention to your beautiful cheekbones. I’d kill to have a profile like yours.”

Sammie started picking away at the wrapping on the large dining table Maggie had finally settled on. She’d skipped the antiques and bought everything new. If JD didn’t like something, he could return it more easily, although she had sent him pictures of all the bigger pieces. All she’d gotten in reply to everything she’d sent was “Okay,” which was equivalent to a grunt of approval, she supposed. Wait until he saw the bill. She’d maxed out his stingy card, then had gone on to create several accounts in his name, which had been remarkably easy and a little worrisome. She felt like she’d robbed him.

“Well, I’d kill to have long legs like yours,” Sammie said. “And your butt. Guys look at your butt all the time.”

Maggie started humming under her breath as she helped Sammie unwrap the table. They’d had the same conversation a thousand times before, and it felt good to fall into the comforting rhythm of their friendship. She glanced at Claire, who was walking around, looking at all the furniture.

“You have superb taste, ma’am.” Claire grinned at her. “Where do you want me to start? Down here or upstairs?”

“I hate the word
ma’am
. The bartender at the hotel called me that. It made me feel ancient, and to think I’d been considering seducing him. The little brat.” She pointed at a line of cardboard boxes on the floor by the door. “Start with those boxes. Most of that is kitchen stuff, but it probably should be washed first. Would you mind loading the dishwasher?”

“Sure.” Claire picked up the first box. “I can wash some by hand, too, if you need me to. How’s the baby project going, by the way? Did you find someone after we left?”

“I didn’t even try. JD says I need to rethink my plan and go to a donor clinic.”

Both women stopped what they were doing to stare at her. “You told JD about wanting to get pregnant?”

“Over a month ago. Didn’t I tell you? I thought, you know, that he deserved to know what I was doing. You told me I should.” She glared at Claire. “He was seething mad, but we sort of got past that.” When she told him she loved him, he forgot about his anger at being used in her baby scheme and had become paralyzed by the idea that she loved him. She really knew how to pick men. 

“He can’t have kids, anyway. So he’s off the list.” Maggie ripped the last bit of plastic off the tabletop and ran her hand over the strips of different-colored wood.

Sammie peeked up from under the table, where she’d been working on the legs. “Really? I’d never have guessed. Too bad. You two are . . .”

Maggie caught the glare Claire sent Sammie. She might as well tell them how she felt, because they’d obviously been discussing her and JD. She sank onto the wheat-colored sofa. “I think I’m in love with him. And”— she took a big breath—“I kind of told him.”

“Oh, Maggie,” Claire sighed.

Maggie swiped at the tears that flooded her eyes. It was such a relief to finally unload on someone. She tried to smile, but gave up. “It’s his fault. If he wasn’t such a damned good kisser, I’d never have told him. Well, at least, wouldn’t have told him yet. Everything is such a mess,” she wailed. “I want a baby. He can’t have one, and he doesn’t want children, anyway.”

“That’s unusual.” Claire sat beside her and patted her knee.

“It is, isn’t it? Most men want a family.”

“Did he say why?”

“No. But he said we have to talk. And he said it in that voice, you know? Like he’s an ax murderer, and he’s going to confess.”

“At least he wants to explain things to you,” Sammie said from across the room.

“That is, if he ever comes down out of those damned hills. It doesn’t matter what he says. I still want a baby.” She grabbed an emerald-green silk throw cushion she’d bought for much-needed color. Green, sapphire blue and red, they’d look terrific in this room.

“So I made a few decisions. One.” She held up a finger. “I’m going house shopping. I’m going to buy a house in town. If you two end up moving away, and I’m not happy here, I’ll sell the house and follow you, but for now, I need my own place. Ì hope you both will live with me.

“Two.” She uncurled another finger. “I’m going to get pregnant. I’m going to the local bar, and both of you are coming with me. I want one more stab at picking out the father and starting my child’s life while having fun. You can’t tell me it doesn’t make a difference how a child is conceived. I think it does.”

“Are you finished?” Claire asked.

“No. I’ve also decided to sell my share of the art gallery in San Francisco and open a business here.”

“Really?” Sammie crossed the room and sat on the other side of her. “What kind of business?”

“I’m not sure. Probably a scaled-down version of what I have in San Francisco, but maybe sell local crafts as well. I saw some beautiful pottery in town the other day. We have enough tourist spillover from Jackson Hole that I think it would work.”

“How about a tearoom, too? You make incredible desserts. Would you consider having a partner?” Sammie asked.

“A tearoom sounds perfect in addition to a gallery. There’s only the pizza joint and Arnie’s in town, so we wouldn’t be competing with anyone. I’d love to have a partner.” She squeezed Sammie’s hand, excitement unfurling inside her. “I’d love to have two partners.” She looked at Claire’s carefully schooled expression.

Claire ran a hand through her long, blond hair. “It’s not that I don’t want to go into business with the two of you. Heaven knows someone would need to keep you organized. It’s just . . .” She frowned at her hands in her lap. “I don’t know if I want to stay here.”

“Yeah, you do.” Maggie bumped shoulders with her. “If you didn’t want to be here, you would have left months ago. Think, Claire. If you take Ethan out of the equation, this is a great place to settle down. We can make good lives for ourselves here, with or without men.”

“Maybe.”

“Think about it. That’s all I ask. Once I made up my mind that that was what I was going to do, I felt so much better. And if you don’t want to go into business with Sammie and me, that’s okay. You’ll find your own thing.”

“When are we going house shopping?” Sammie asked.

Maggie grinned. She wasn’t buying a house. She was buying a home.

She hadn’t felt so excited since the day she’d moved out of her and Dominic’s house. “Tomorrow,” she decided. She hadn’t yet told Claire that Ethan should be arriving soon, but at least she could offer her an excuse not to be on the ranch if she needed one.

“Claire?” Maggie took a deep breath. Claire was not going to be happy with her.

“There’s more?” A small smile played over Claire’s lips. Maggie wished with all her heart that her friend could be happy.

“Ethan’s coming.”

Claire froze in the act of pushing her waist-length hair behind her ears. “When?”

“I’m not sure. JD didn’t say exactly when, just soon.”

“You waited until now to tell me? How long have you known?”

Maggie cringed. She was such a lousy friend. “JD mentioned it before we went to Salt Lake. I forgot in the excitement of going, and then I was away all week.” And thinking of JD every minute of every day and night. Which was partly understandable, because she was decorating his house for him. But not forgivable.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But, truthfully, would it have made much difference if you’d known earlier? You’d have had longer to worry, that’s all.”

Claire jumped up, but Maggie caught her wrist and tugged her back down to the couch. Claire shook her hand free. “I have to get out of here. I have to leave.”

“You’re going to stay right here and face Ethan Cooper once and for all. That man has messed around with your life long enough. You’re not a coward, Claire. Don’t let him do this to you.”

“Excuse me.”

Maggie looked over her shoulder at a perfectly turned-out woman standing in the open doorway of the house. She immediately felt at a disadvantage in her old jeans and faded Arcade Fire T-shirt.

“I’m looking for JD Cooper.”

Maggie didn’t understand how she knew the woman wearing the five-hundred-dollar dress was JD’s wife.
Ex-wife.
She just did. This perfect specimen of a woman, tall, but not too tall like Maggie, with a superb haircut and perfectly sculpted face and body, had once been an integral part of JD’s life, and Maggie suspected at least partially responsible for some of the dark places inside him. She wanted to slap the woman.

Claire glanced at her, imperceptibly shook her head no, then walked across the room and held out her hand. “I’m Claire Montgomery, Ethan’s office manager. JD isn’t here. He’s out on the range for a few days.”

Lydia took her time checking out Claire. Even wearing jeans, Claire had a formality about her that made most people assume she was uptight. Claire was the most warm-hearted person Maggie knew, and it was reassuring to know that Claire would always have her back.

Lydia smiled, looking much more approachable. “I hope this means Ethan Cooper has finally met his match.”

“That remains to be seen,” Claire said.

Lydia looked around the room. “So JD has finally decided to move into his house. What’s changed? I’m Lydia Cooper, incidentally.”

Maggie sucked in a breath. It hurt to hear her use JD’s last name. And she was wearing a wedding ring. JD’s ring probably, or she would have changed her last name. Maybe this was what JD had needed to talk to her about. He and Lydia were getting back together. Her stomach heaved. She lurched to her feet and headed for the door. If she was going to be sick, it wasn’t going to happen in front of Mrs. Lydia Cooper.

The door opened as she reached for it, and JD entered the kitchen. His eyes lit up for a second when he saw her, but the light went out when Lydia called his name. He turned, and in two long strides, he reached his wife and enfolded her in his arms. Maggie sagged against the open door, unable to look away. They fit together so perfectly.

“You’re early,” JD said, still holding Lydia.

Lydia pulled back a fraction, a forgiving smile on her face. “No, you’re late. As usual. But you’re forgiven.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

Maggie stumbled out the door and headed for Claire’s SUV that was parked behind her Porsche, blocking her car. If Claire and Sammie didn’t come out in two seconds, she was going to dig out Claire’s spare key from under the floor mat and take off without them. Her hand trembled as she yanked the SUV door open and climbed into the front seat.