Open Minds (14 page)

I ignored about a dozen scrits from Simon.

As the weekend lurched along, my anger about his secret society of mindjackers fizzled. Of course Simon and I weren’t the only two jackers in the world. If I hadn’t been adjusting to everything and trying to pass for a reader, I would have figured that out. According to Mr. Gerek, there were jackers all over the Chicago New Metro area, which included half of Illinois and millions of people. Were there hundreds of jackers among those millions? Thousands? Our high school had almost 4,000 students, yet Simon and I were the only jackers. Were we a one-in-two-thousand mutation? Or was it a fluke that we were in the same school? I tried to do the math, but it seemed impossible to know how many jackers were hiding in plain sight, like Mr. Gerek and Simon—and me.

And what was up with this mysterious Clan anyway? Simon claimed they were a family, like some kind of support group for freaks. Did they recruit jackers for their cause, like a band of super-heroes? Shop teacher and secret jacker Mr. Gerek didn’t exactly fit the super-hero stereotype, but he didn’t seem like a super-villain either.

I didn’t know what or who to believe any more.

If I could pass for a reader, college and med school were possible, even if I had to lie to get there. I didn’t see how joining a gang of jackers would help with that.

But I didn’t want them angry at me either.

On Monday, Simon found me before school and pulled me into an empty hallway where we could talk. “You haven’t answered my scrits.” He seemed tense, like he thought I would announce the existence of the Clan over the student council’s morning tru-cast.

“I’ve been thinking about what a fantastic liar you are.” So maybe I hadn’t completely gotten over my annoyance with him.

He set his jaw. “Look, I’m sorry about that, okay? I couldn’t tell you anything until I got clearance from Mr. Gerek.”

“So, he’s the boss of you?” My smile seemed to irritate Simon further.

“No.” He let out a frustrated huff. “But he is my contact with the Clan, and I’d rather not mess that up.”

I couldn’t help being curious. “So what’s this business with Mr. Gerek? I mean, if I was a thirty-five-year-old jacker, I’m not sure I’d be a shop teacher.”

Simon shook his head and leaned against a paint-chipped locker wall. “He’s a great guy. He’s been a recruiter for a long time, and he’s taught me a lot.” He pulled a half-grin. “It still grates on him that I found you first.”

“He recruits jackers for the Clan?”

“Yeah. He watches for changeling jackers as they come through the school.” He gestured at the empty hall. “Most kids pass through his class around the time they change. He would have found you, but you hadn’t changed yet. And you didn’t take shop.”

“But he found you?”

“Actually, I found him. I changed early, before I got to high school. By the time I went through his class, I was already jacking everyone.”

“Show off.” I nudged his chest. Maybe I could forgive him. All of Simon’s lies were somewhat mitigated by my own half truths—about my mom, about Raf. “So, what does the Clan do?”

He glanced at the still-empty hall. “Well, you could join us and find out.” I scowled and he dropped his voice. “It’s a place where you can belong. Where you don’t have to lie about who you are.”

His words pulled at me. I didn’t want to admit how much the lies were wearing on me.

“Who all is in the Clan? Besides shop teachers and their students.” Maybe my dream of being a doctor didn’t have to mean staying away from the Clan. Maybe I could do both.

“There are all kinds of people.” He cracked a grin. “Depends on how good your skills are.”

I arched an eyebrow. “You mean jacking skills. I suppose your skills rock.”

“I’m not bad,” he said with false modesty. “Molloy has a soft spot for the younger jackers and wants the recruits to finish high school, or they would have taken me sooner.” It was the first time I had seen Simon boast about anything.

“Who’s Molloy?” I wrinkled my nose. That name sounded very familiar. “There’s that big building, off the T-41 Metra line, with Molloy Enterprises written on it. Is he related to that?”

His mouth dropped open, but he quickly shut it. “You can’t say anything about that. Look, you’ve got to promise me you’ll keep the code of silence. They’re really serious about that.”

“Who am I going to tell?” My skeptical look made him relax.

“Good.” He shuffled closer to whisper. “Kira, you belong in the Clan. You’ll see, if you just come join us. It’s a place where you can do what you’re meant to do.”

“What exactly does that mean?” If the Clan was all about using their jacking skills, that couldn’t add up to anything good. I doubted they were running around solving crimes or aiding the poor. All the secrecy probably meant they were shady, like Simon’s too-fancy car and stolen beers.

“Just come and see,” he said.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” His face fell.

I walked away.

I avoided Simon at lunch and chewed on the idea of the Clan. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to be part of them. Not having to lie, being with people who understood you. If Simon hadn’t been around to help me, I’m not sure what I would have done. Probably gone a bit demens.

But I was just getting used to passing for a reader and having a normal life.

By the time math rolled around, I was ready for a truce. I didn’t say anything, just sat next to him in class. During free period, we tamped down the swirling rumors about our impending breakup by hanging out in the library. Afterward, I air-kissed Simon in the hall and insisted I needed to go to band. He looked uncertain, but didn’t try to stop me.

At the end of band practice, Trina stood at the door. She was out of range, so I ignored her, but by the time I finished packing my instrument, she was still there.

Trina and I used to be in band together, a zillion years ago, until she quit when it wasn’t mesh anymore. When hanging out with me wasn’t mesh anymore. We hadn’t mindtalked directly since I changed. As I walked into range, I tentatively linked into her mind. Her thoughts were jumbled, like she wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her to say either. Maybe
Sorry for ditching you when you needed a friend most?
It would be a start. It was tempting to force an apology, but it wouldn’t mean much if I had to make her say it.

Hey, Trina,
I linked to her as coolly as I could.

Her thoughts crystallized as soon as she heard mine.
Message,
she thought.
Give Kira the message.
Her thoughts had that hollow, repetitive sound of jacked mind. I scanned the hall for Simon, but found Mr. Gerek instead, staring me down, just out of range.

An icy fear trickled through me. My eyes locked with Mr. Gerek’s as I linked a thought to her.
What’s the message, Trina?

We can make your life better, better, or much worse, worse,
Trina thought earnestly, like a parrot repeating a phrase it had memorized.

My mouth went dry. Mr. Gerek tipped his head and walked away.

Hey,
Trina thought.
You’re still here. Still in band, I mean.

It took me a moment to realize that she wasn’t under his control anymore.

I coughed to clear the dryness from my throat.
Yeah, well, some things don’t change.

Some of us are going to the Fuse after school,
she thought.
Would you like to come?

Still tense from the encounter with Gerek, I almost laughed out loud. Being invited to hang out at the gameplex was probably the last thing I expected her to think.

I laughed mentally instead, which wasn’t easy with lots of people shifting by.
I don’t exactly have much practice with mindware games. Like none.

She gave me a bright smile.
It’s time we got you up to speed then. What’s the point of changing if you can’t waste your skills on mindless games?

She sounded like the old Trina. Only I wasn’t the old me, not even close. But this was what I had wanted all along, right? The way it used to be?

I arrived home late from school. The mindware games’ metallic aftertaste lingered on the back of my tongue. It had been a challenge to run the games while linking my thoughts to the crowded gameplex, but our synchronized Blue Devils team trounced the rival Stevenson High players. It was fun. Really great.

Except for the dread left behind by Gerek’s threat.

He’d obviously controlled Trina to deliver his not-so-subtle message. But did he jack her into inviting me to the Fuse too? She didn’t seem controlled, but maybe he only messed with her emotions. Was that what he meant by making my life better?

It gave me the chills.

Of course Gerek controlled people. He was a
jacker
. But did he make the threat because he thought I would blow the Clan’s cover? Or did he really want me to join the Clan that badly? Either way, like Simon, it was better to be on Gerek’s good side.

The next day, my gaming at the Fuse had finally killed my changeling status in the thought-rumor mill. I now routinely linked into everyone’s minds, passing for a reader without thinking. This caused a problem at the tail end of Tuesday, when I almost reached into Raf’s mind by accident. He was waiting for me at the school entrance. Simon had already left with Martin, to do something he vaguely explained as
business
.

Raf’s sudden appearance in Simon’s absence couldn’t be a coincidence.

I slowed my pace as I came into range. Part of me wanted to treat him like everyone else. Simon was right—it would be less suspicious if Raf thought I was a reader. But once I was inside his head, I didn’t know if I could keep from spilling my secrets. I’d had a hard enough time lying to him when he simply held my hand.

Then Gerek came out of the administration office, two doors down from the entrance. Whatever Raf was thinking caught his attention, and he swung his head toward us, narrowing his eyes. I stumbled to a stop, but it was too late—I was in range of Raf, and he was already frowning because he couldn’t read me.

I quickly jacked into Raf’s head.

Just want to talk, Kira, just want to talk. Why can’t I hear her yet?
Raf’s thoughts burst into my head.

I put on a big smile, trying not to be obviously weird.
Raf! There you are! Come on, let’s go!
I breezed past him out the door, praying he would follow without having to jack him.

Hey, Kira, I just wanted to talk,
he thought.

I know! I know!
My sandals clattered on the stone steps as I hurried down.

You know?

When I reached the bottom, I glanced back. Gerek wasn’t following us, so I slowed and tried to step down my panic. The humidity had finally released its hold on Gurnee, but I was still breaking out in a cold sweat.

I pulled out of Raf’s head before I was tempted to tell him too much.

He matched my pace as I headed away from the school. “I can’t…”

“Still a changeling, I guess.” I gave a jerky laugh. The school had emptied out, so there was no danger of being seen talking out loud. And it was unreasonably good to hear his voice.

“Can I walk you home?” He whispered in that conspiratorial tone we used when I was a zero. I let him stay by me, not knowing what to say. Before, I would have shared anything with Raf. Now that my life was an intricate maze of lies, it seemed there was
nothing
I couldshare.

We walked in silence for a while.

“You seem to be doing well. With the change, I mean,” he said. “Well, except for now.” I smothered the part of me that cared that he noticed.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“Maybe sometime, when you’re able to read, we could hang out. Just mindtalk for a while.”

Well, that wasn’t going to work. At all. “You said you were going to stay away from me.” A lump in my throat cut off anything else I might have said.

“Yeah.” He dropped his eyes to his oversized sneakers. I picked up my pace, to outrun the heartache that loomed ahead. “I’ve messed this whole thing up,” he said. “I don’t want to be that guy that was yelling at you in your room.”

Water pooled in my eyes and blurred the sun-burnt grass and the white concrete together. Raf was killing me with guilt by trying to take the blame for a mess that was completely mine.

When I didn’t say anything, he kept going. “I want to be a better friend than that. And you’re right. You can date whoever you want.” He was making an effort to keep the anger out of his voice, but I still heard it. Raf was trying to be the friend he thought I needed. He couldn’t have found a more lethal way to break my heart. The tears pooling in my eyes crested the dam.

“You
are
my friend, Raf.” I choked on the words. “You’re a great friend. The best. Ever.” I bit my lip, hard, because the secrets were welling up inside me, threatening to spill out like the tears.
I’m a mutant jacker, Raf. Everything is a lie.
I bit even harder, welcoming the sharp pain that held the words in.
Gerek,
I reminded myself. My secret was even more dangerous for Raf now. I stabbed the urge to tell Raf anything, hoping it would die quickly.

“Hey, are you…” He peered at me. “Why are you…?” I was walking so fast I was nearly running. I needed to get to my house before my resolve faltered. Raf kept pace by my side. Within a minute, we had reached my front door.

“Kira.” He stopped me before I could bolt to safety inside. “If you want to talk about anything…” I threw my arms around his broad shoulders and marked his soccer jersey with my tears. Then I dashed in the house and closed the door on him. Leaning against it, I slowly sank to the floor.

“Kira?” my mom called. She peered down the stairs, holding a long silver ladle and a soft cloth. Seeing me slumped against the door, she hurried down. I stared at the floor, unable to get up or muster a lie.

“Raf,” was all I said. She pulled me close with the hand that still clutched the ladle and let me spill my tears on her shoulder.

chapter TWENTY-ONE