Operation Soulmate (5 page)

      “I knew you wouldn’t get it.” She said, feeling indignant, but also just a bit too tipsy to be bothered to defend anything. She just didn’t want to be made fun of. It might have been that thought, or the alcohol, or the fact that she suddenly saw herself as she must look through his eyes, or the sudden awareness that she was searching for an impossible dream, or the fact that she’d so often questioned her
own
sanity for even wanting it... or perhaps it was the ever-present thought that she was not only going to be single at thirty but perhaps for the rest of her life! Whatever it was, Geraldine was suddenly weeping loudly, as she began to release years of frustrated longing.

     Ben reached out instinctively, as the tears began pouring out of her troubled face.. He didn’t see her cry very often and when he did, it made him feel
very
uncomfortable. “Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he said, rubbing her arm affectionately, as she quickly grabbed a handful of tissues. His heart skipped a beat as he took in her perfectly smooth mahogany skin and the fine features and bones it covered, her full lips and the cascading, black locks that framed her tiny face in a way that made her eyes and cheekbones look even more striking. He just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see what he did.

    “It’s just impossible, isn’t it? I know it is... Even
I
know it’s impossible. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m full of crap. I just have this silly, stupid idea that it’s real. Am I nuts, Ben? Am I insane to want this?”

    “No, of course you’re not insane.” Ben had seen enough crazy over the years to know what crazy was. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he believed in the notion of crazy anymore. 'Crazy' had just too often proved to be euphemistic for courageously sane, and sane had too often turned out to be conformity and stultification in disguise. So for the sake of his own creativity and mental health, he preferred to operate outside the traditional paradigms of madness and lucidity, whenever possible.

     “I just can’t let go of this dream. When I think about being with someone just ...
ordinary
, who’s
not
my twin flame, I get so frustrated, because I just don’t want to compromise. I
can’t
compromise. Not when I feel with every fibre of my being that this is
real.
That this person, this single, unique person exists out there somewhere and is waiting for me, wanting me to keep waiting, keep looking... Until I find him, because no one else will ever be right for me...ever.”

       Ben could hear the frustration building. He didn’t know what to do with it. “I just know there’s someone special, someone
in particular
, my perfect, Divine complement. And I know with all my heart, that I have no choice but to wait for him...however long he takes to get here. I really do, Ben, and I don’t want anything or anyone else, I really don’t, and where
is
he!!! Why isn’t he here, yet?? Oh God!! I’m gonna be thirty!!! And I know it’s not old but, it
feels, so, old
....Oh God, I’m such a mess. I’m sorry Ben. I know you’re trying to help me, but, don’t you see... there’s just no hope for me. You’re the best person at doing this, in the country, probably in the world and even
you
can’t help me, even you think I’m nuts. I’m nuts aren’t I?”

       Ben looked at her worried face, and wrestled with himself again. How honest could he really allow himself to be? Geraldine was her own worst enemy, there was no question about it. She was gorgeous, bright, fun to be with, caring and absurdly generous ...to everyone but herself. Yet, in all the time he’d known her, he’d never
once
seen her with a decent guy, not for long, anyway. The decent ones were all given their marching orders, within a few dates, for being either too boring, too controlling, too young, too old, too perfect, even. He’d hardly been able to  believe his ears when he’d heard that one! Too perfect!! "Too good to be true. There must be something wrong with him; I just haven't found it yet." !

    The fact was, that she was obviously terrified of commitment, just in case she got hurt again by some guy like Andrew who, as it turned out, hadn’t even known how to
spell
the word commitment, and certainly didn’t know how to make or keep one. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that there seemed to be an ex like Andrew in every woman’s past. The one that got away, but who first made sure to take a backward glance or two in order to be absolutely certain that, before leaving, he’d managed to turn a good woman really bad, or to at least made sure that any future guys would have to work very, very hard to get even a little bit close. Geraldine had, unfortunately, not managed to escape the rogue ruination, and now all the guys she really went for were losers, as far as he was concerned and, of course, safely unattainable. What a catch, an unattainable loser. Ben felt his heart melting as he watched her fall apart.

       “Aw, honey, you’re not nuts, you’re beautiful. The rest of the world is nuts, not you. You keep your dream. Never stop having dreams, no matter what. No one else has to understand them, except you. And do you want to know something...?”

      “What,” Geraldine, sniffed, dabbing at her nose and daring to glance up at him.

      “I think everyone has that dream, secretly, it’s just that very few of them has the guts to admit it. And even fewer have the courage to
keep
believing in it, and that makes you very, very special.”

      “Really?”

      “Absolutely. And I’ll tell you something else: what you’ve got on that list isn’t really so far-fetched ...at
all
. You can easily,
easily
find that guy, and I’m going to help you to do just that.

       “Really, Ben...you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

       “Gerry, all you’re looking for is a feeling of real connection, with someone who won’t let you down. You could find a guy who gives you all of those feelings, in a few weeks, I’m sure of it. In fact I will
guarantee
you, that if you still haven't found him three months from now, on the day of your thirtieth birthday, I’ll marry you myself!”

      “Oh Ben, don’t be silly. Do you really,
really
think you can help me to find him?”

       “I promise.” He said placing his hand on his heart. “So do we have a deal then?”

Geraldine had such complete faith in Ben. He had such integrity, and everything else he had ever set out to achieve had been a forgone conclusion, even before he’d started. She just knew, without a shred of doubt, that if it was even remotely possible for her to find her twin flame (heck, she’d even settle for a regular old soulmate, now) surely
he
could make it happen.

     “Okay, Ben, let’s do it.” She could almost see Ben making a really good husband for her if things didn't work out with the elusive twin flame. It was a win-win. (
not
that it was ever going to,
actually
, come to that). And they could always work on the chemistry. But then, how important
was
that anyway? Look at some of the guys she
had
been wildly attracted to. Where had that gotten her? And so
many
women fancied Ben, surely they couldn’t all be wrong. She could see what they went for, in a way. He was tall, easily 6’ and had this unique kind of attractiveness. That strange paleness coupled with a shock of thick, straight, silky black hair and those penetrating eyes, full of kindness, intelligence and just a hint of mischief. Then those perfectly chiselled features and unusually full lips, with just the slightest suggestion of cherry, and that peculiar, almost Angelic sensitivity and integrity. By most people’s standards, Ben Wright was hot!

      For a moment or two, Geraldine was swept up in the sudden image of herself, finally, in a wedding dress, with Ben at her side, in a church packed with fellow psychics (all knowingly nodding their precognitive approval) and wonderfully evolved celebrity coaches like Ben, patting him on the back and saying ‘
well done, mate, you finally did it for yourself
.’ She shuddered involuntarily, and mentally scolded herself for being so utterly ridiculous. Ben was obviously just taking pity on her. He’d only said it because he knew he could succeed at anything he put his mind to. It was just his way of making sure he got his point across, just as he always did. Well she didn’t need his pity! Whatever this plan of his involved, she was going to throw herself into it wholeheartedly.  There’d be no marriage of convenience for her...ever, not even with someone as amenable and eligible as Ben. Nope, one thing she certainly didn’t want was a pity proposal. How
dare
he pity her!!!

     For some reason, though, her mind recklessly, fast-forwarded to an image of the two of them standing, awkwardly, on either side of their marital bed. She shook her head violently to banish the stray image of a half-naked Ben. Then glanced at him guiltily to make sure he hadn’t, somehow, read her mind and seen it himself, telepathically. Just at that moment, Ben
did
seem to be smiling to himself about something. It was a bit uncanny really. Maybe he
was
a bit psychic. Why wouldn’t he be? She quickly pulled herself together. That take-away menu trick wasn’t such a stretch. They really
hadn’t
had curry for ages. Maybe that was how he did it every time, how he always managed to guess right. He obviously always chose whichever thing they hadn’t had for ages. It was just a series of lucky guesses based on common sense.

       Dinner suddenly arrived, and Geraldine tried
not
to imagine what might be going through Ben’s head as he munched, thoughtfully on a poppadum, but took a wild guess of her own, that he probably
wasn’t
imagining their wedding day....or night for that matter. Anyway, it definitely,
definitely
, wasn’t ever going to have to come to that, she was going to make sure of it. For the next three months, she’d do anything he said; she'd put herself completely in his hands. There was just no way they could fail. Look at the breakthrough they’d had already and they hadn’t even started yet!

      “Are you sure... about all this, Gerry...” Ben asked, suddenly, looking a little nervous for the first time that evening just as he was putting the finishing touches to his notes.

      “Yes, Ben, I’m
absolutely
sure. Let’s go for it! Why the heck not?”

The first thing Ben did when Geraldine said goodnight and wondered pensively off to her room, swaying slightly and clutching walls as she went, was to take a good look at the bewildering twin flame checklist. It wasn’t
really
so outrageous. But it certainly wasn’t going to be easy. What had he gotten himself into? Still, he loved a challenge; he’d made a promise and he was nothing if not a man of his word. He knew that, as always, this was going to be a question of volume. The more guys Gerry, actually, got to meet, the more chance there was that one of them might turn out to have at least
some
of those soulmate qualities she was looking for. Like everything else in life, finding the right person was simply a numbers game, and there was always going to be some need for compromise along the way. If, like Geraldine, you stayed in every evening and only allowed yourself to be dragged out every now and again, when you thought you might be in danger of becoming a recluse, what were the chances that the guy you met on that one, single, blue moon night out would turn out to be a winner? He suspected that the chances were pretty low, and her track record had, so far, proven his suspicions to be woefully correct.

      He knew that a drastic change in habits and behaviour were required in order to make Geraldine a dating success. And in her case, the change that was required would mean  getting out more, meeting and becoming inundated with a steady influx of good prospects, and, finally, choosing one of them as a steady partner, very slowly, very deliberately, and very,
very
wisely, instead of becoming instantly attached to the first guy who showed any sign of interest in her.

      The next morning, by the time Geraldine finally emerged from her room at around 10.30 am, the door to Ben’s room was closed, and she could hear him in the spare room they’d turned into an office. She could tell by the excitement in his voice that he was coaching someone. She loved taking a day off during the week. It felt so decadent, somehow, and the fact that she’d be working on Saturday to make up for it, didn’t change that one, little bit. It still felt delicious, and certainly far better than just routinely and mind-numbingly following the herd, day in, day out.

     Geraldine did
not
feel good when she entered the kitchen; it was too bright, too much brightness too soon. The top of her head was throbbing mysteriously and mercilessly, as mystifying fragments of the night before drifted slowly through her consciousness. Her crown chakra was looking decidedly murky and it was going to take at least a litre of water before she felt ready for any kind of meditation. She knew she really shouldn’t drink; she was too sensitive for it. In fact, considering the way she was feeling, by the time she finished meditating, saying affirmations, stretching, journaling and setting her intentions for the day ahead, the day would probably be over. Something had to give. For a moment she considered having a raw-food day or maybe doing some kind of fruit or juice-fast, to raise her undoubtedly, plummeting vibration, but was slightly alarmed to notice her hands reaching into the fridge for eggs and butter. Oh well, her body obviously needed eggs.

      She was just piecing together the evening’s events, when she slowly became aware of a weird feeling that something bad was about to happen, something to do with something that had happened the night before!! Through slightly screwed-up eyes, she suddenly noticed one of Ben’s trademarked, bright yellow, company folders on the dining-room table. It wasn't like  Ben to leave confidential, coaching files lying around. He must be feeling a bit rough as well. She smiled to herself, glancing absent-mindedly at the beautifully designed package, but was suddenly struck by something alarming on the front cover!

Geraldine Stanley

- Operation Soulmate –

She gasped and stiffened slightly, as memories of the night before came flooding back into her addled consciousness. She quickly grabbed the bewildering folder, and opened it up to find the first, typed and printed sheet: a coaching contract. She slumped into the nearest chair to take in the full meaning of what she was reading, as the evening’s events now came together quite quickly and completely.

    “Oh, noooooo. What have I gotten myself into
now
?” She whispered under her breath, hastily collecting herself and skimming through the mercifully short document, which read:

I, Geraldine Stanley:

Will cooperate fully during the coaching process, in order to bring about my complete and total happiness in the area of love and relationships

I agree to work on other areas of my life, concurrently, including, demonstrating a willingness to improve my social life, and to work on changing the limiting beliefs I have about relationships in general.

    I will work with my coach,
Ben Wright
, in a way that is constructive, flexible, progressive and certain to help me to achieve better results in all areas of my life, and particularly in the area of loving partnerships.

    I agree to take full responsibility for my own process, to play full out and to complete all coaching tasks and assignments on time and to the best of my ability.

Signed:

Date:

I, Ben Wright:

Will bring the best of my knowledge and expertise to the attention and service of my client,
Geraldine Stanley
, in order to help her to progress in the area of love and relationships

    I will prepare resources, assignments and tasks, which will enrich and empower her to improve her life, overall, and help her to achieve her relationship goals in particular.

I will guide her through the coaching process with sensitivity and a positive and encouraging attitude.

    I assure her of my complete confidentiality, at all times, in all matters concerning her coaching process.

Signed:
B. Wright

Date:
30/08/2015

Geraldine hastily turned the next page and found:
 

Possible meeting places for Geraldine to find a suitable match:

• Seminars
  
• Talks on spirituality
  
• Bookshops
  
• Workshops
  
• Libraries
  
• Discussion groups
  
• Book groups
  
• Meditation groups
  
• Retreats
  
• Courses
  
• Health spas
  
• Festivals...
  

The list went on and on, and
on,
but she was feeling too ill to look at it properly, or to read more than the first few suggestions, and a part of her was still wondering what "
playing full out"
would mean in practice. It was certainly food for thought. Ben had  always told her that a woman like her was unlikely to meet the kind of man she was looking for in a nightclub or at the gym, and that she was far too spiritual, cultured and sophisticated for what he called the ‘club-rats and posers.’

     “Morning!” he said, marching into the kitchen with his sleeves rolled up. Geraldine starred at him through the general aura of positivity, audacity and charisma he always seemed to exude. What was he
on?
He’d probably been up since five or six. How did he
do
it?

     “Hmmm,” Geraldine moaned, reaching for her head once again.

    “Oh dear.” he said, smiling and grimacing sympathetically.

    “Mmmmmm,” She managed, smiling back, fairly unconvincingly.

    “I’m just off to meet a client in Brighton, insists on meeting face-to-face”

    “Mrs Y?”

    “Yep.” Ben grabbed his keys and was at the door before she’d even had a chance to look at him properly. He seemed even chirpier than usual for some reason. “Don’t wait up,” he said, reaching for the doorknob.

      “Ben,” she said, calling out after him, just as he was about to slam the door shut. He opened it up again and peeped in at her.

     “Yep”

   “Are you really serious about all this, I mean, is this for real?” She said holding up the yellow folder.

     “Oh yeah...” He said, staring at her penetratingly for a second or two, before closing the door quietly behind him and leaving her to think it through.

     “Okay then... bye...” she said, waving sardonically at the empty doorway. This certainly seemed to
her
like something that was worth sticking around for five minutes to discuss in the cold light of day! But Ben clearly had other things on his mind. She sighed and stared at the tidy coffee table. Just
when
had he found time to tidy up?! Just as she was about to settle into a nice, peaceful day at home, recovering from what was, now, almost certainly a hangover, she heard Ben’s key in the lock again.

      “Oh, and remember to keep Sunday free...” he said, grabbing his phone and audio books from the table and making another dash for the door.

      “Huh, what, why??!”.

      “Page four.” He said, before dashing out...again...

Geraldine sighed and turned to page four of the coaching manual. It was a photocopy of a flyer for an event the following Sunday.   

AWAKEN YOUR DESIRE!!!!

The leaflet almost screamed at her. Obviously a coaching or positive-thinking seminar run by someone Ben rated in the industry. Well he
had
said he was going to encourage her to expand her social circle, and he obviously thought seminars were a good place for her to meet like-minded men. She turned over to the next sheet to see what on earth would be on page five. Thankfully, there wasn’t a page five, just three tickets to the event and a post-it note that simply read:

Hey G,

This is your first assignment.

Don’t worry I’ll be coming with you. Bring a female friend.

I’ll explain later. B x

    She slumped into the sofa and drummed her fingers on its arm, as she waited for Brogan to answer her phone. Where
was
Brogan when you really needed her? Probably deep conditioning again, or finger detangling, or plaiting her excessively pampered hair away for a braid-out, or watching natural hair porn on Youtube. Why was she so obsessed with her hair!!!? And
why
wasn’t she answering her phone!!!? Brogan was the one person she knew who would, absolutely, know just what to say about a situation like this. Oh, she’d be shocked at first, then philosophically positive, then really,
really
happy for her. She was the one person who could make it all seem not so crazy at all, and at that precise moment, that was exactly what Geraldine needed.

     Two litres of water later, she was feeling at least capable of walking without holding her head on, and she could now face the kitchen in all its garish, brightly-lit brilliance. She reached for her angel essence, and gave her aura a good drenching to clear the fogginess. At least she could see a few orbs again, now. No drinking tonight. Not on a night before work. In her mind’s eye, she could sense one of her guides smiling, and an inspired thought quickly popped into her head that, perhaps,
not drinking at all
would be far easier than going through this intensive cleansing ritual every time she had a few too many glasses of wine.

      “Sure,” she said to one of the dancing orbs, "
You
try living down here without alcohol, see how far it gets you." She thought she heard laughter for a second, and then, all at once, she was enveloped in that beautiful, warm feeling of love and acceptance, and somehow found herself quickly deciding that she didn’t actually like drinking that much anyway, and it was probably time to have a go at that, long-promised, meditation.... She searched through her collection of CDs, quickly deciding on a guided meditation. It was probably not a good idea to take her chances wandering through the astral plane without clear directions on a day like this. She tried to relax to the soothing, sounds of a crystal lake, but it just wasn’t happening. Half way through, she realised that she’d spent the first ten minutes of her meditation thinking about what had happened the night before, and wondering what Ben
really
thought of her. This was not meditation!! She stopped the CD, just as she was being instructed to ask her Angel if there was a message for her and it suddenly dawned on her that she was feeling unusually tense, had no idea how she’d even arrived at the Angelic kingdom and certainly wasn’t in a 'messages' kind of place, just yet.

      She took a deep breath and tried to put all thoughts of Ben and Operation Soulmate to the back of her mind. Then, when she felt sure she was ready, she pressed the little button on the CD player and began the whole process again.

     She tried, again, to relax to the soothing sounds of the crystal lake, and this time she certainly
felt
more relaxed. Until, of course, fifteen minutes into the meditation, she realised that she’d spent the entire time thinking about Operation Soulmate - How would it work?
Would
it work? What would she have to do? What else would she have to share with Ben? What kind of guys would she meet and how would it feel picking over all the intimate details of her personal life with BEN!!!? She stopped the CD for a second time, took a few more deep breaths to really centre herself and, finally, pressed the button, feeling she was truly ready to let go. Just as she was about to ask her Guardian Angel about Operation Soulmate, the phone rang and she almost leapt out of her chair to grab it. Brogan, finally!!