Operation Soulmate (6 page)

     “Oh, my God!!” She said without any of the usual greetings, introductions or pre-amble.

     “You ‘kay darlin’? Sorry, I couldn’t get the phone before, I was doing a reading.’” Of
course!
Brogan always worked on Thursdays; she’d completely forgotten.

      “Oh, right, I forgot you were in today. I thought you were deep-conditioning again."

"Haha. No, that's tomorrow hon. "

      Geraldine laughed out loud.

      "Hon, it's not a laughing matter. My hair has been bleached, tortured and coloured to within an inch of existence; I have to baby my ends!"

Geraldine sighed and shook her head. "Can you talk for a minute?”

     “Yeah but only for a minute Hon, got another reading at two.”

     “Okay, I’ll be brief,”

     “Oh God, what’s happening?” Brogan could hear the infectious excitement/shock/suspense combination in Geraldine’s voice, that usually meant big news.

      “You are
not
going to believe this...
Ben
has offered to coach me into finding the man of my dreams...my twin flame!!!!”

       “No
way
!! What, you mean "Ben", Ben? Your super-coach flatmate Ben, right, not some random, Ben wannabe, who also happens to be
called
Ben?”

      “No! Yes, Ben Ben..........I mean yes, my super-coach flatmate, Ben.”

      “Oh my God, you, lucky,
lucky
thing! Darlin’ that’s wicked!! How did
that
little plan come about?”

      “It’s just too much to go into now, there’s more to it than that...it’s complicated...”

      “I don’t care
how
complicated it is darlin’ you’re gonna let him do it, right? You’d be mad not to!”

     “Okay, it’s not quite as simple as that. Brogan, you are not going to believe the rest of it.... the rest of ...the deal....Brogan!!!??? Are you even listening to me??!!” Geraldine could hear Brogan speaking to someone in the background.

      “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll be with you in a minute.” She was saying, probably to a customer, before quickly returning her attention to the matter at hand, “Hon, I’m going to have to call you back, listen, meet me for a drink, in town, after work.” Geraldine cringed. Why did people who loved ‘town’ always make that sound so easy? Geraldine was in no fit state for Central London! As it was, she was going to have to spend, at least, the rest of the evening putting herself back together again, before she could face tomorrow’s tube journey or even
look
at another pack of tarot cards, and she needed to be ready for work the next day. Probably best to stick with the Angel cards for a couple of days.  “Listen darlin’ I'll call you back after work. I
have
to go, sorry, hon.”

     Geraldine decided to forget about her meditation for a while. She was too churned up to relax, now, and speaking to Brogan hadn’t helped with that at all! She’d been so excited, on her behalf, it had just made her feel even
more
nervous. She was right about one thing, though, she
would
be mad to pass up an opportunity like this. Ben was booked solidly for months, probably years to come. He was very frugal with his time when it came to most people, and, yet, here he was offering to not only to coach her, but to take time to come out to events with her as well! He was making it all so easy for her, how could she possibly refuse? Inspired and reassured by the normalising effect of the conversation with Brogan, she reached for a pen and quickly signed the agreement before she had time to change her mind, hastily putting all thoughts of
ever
having to end up marrying Ben, safely to the back of it.

      “So,” She sighed, into the empty room, somewhat nervously, “Let the games begin...”

      Later that evening, when Brogan called back, she decided to play down the other (Ben- marrying) aspect of the coaching deal, and concentrate, instead, on the details around how it all came about and how she thought Ben was bound to make a relationship success of even a hopeless case like her. Brogan hung on her every word and quickly bagged herself a place at the seminar, as the unspecified "female friend".

      All of Geraldine’s friends loved Ben, but somehow, he was mysteriously not any of their type. They all said he had an air about him, psychically, as if he already belonged to someone else. Geraldine, however, knew that what they were probably picking up on was the fact that Ben was still having a really hard time moving on after his divorce. In fact, there were times when she couldn’t help wondering whether, perhaps on some level, he was still in love with his ex-wife and secretly hoping for a reconciliation. He was certainly saving himself for someone, and without knowing the specifics of who or why, this seemed to be the one point on which everyone could safely agree.

When Sunday finally arrived, Brogan could barely contain her excitement at the prospect of spending an entire day surrounded by coaching hotties. Geraldine wasn’t sure at this stage
why
she needed to bring a friend, but she was certainly glad to have one around at a time like this.    

     “So where do we start?” she asked Ben, as they stood just outside the hotel, before venturing in to register for the seminar.

     Ben slipped quickly and seamlessly into coaching mode, “Okay,” he said, suddenly animated by the thrill of the quest. “The registering and the tea-breaks are the most important times for social interaction,” he said, rolling up his sleeves and running his hands through his hair a couple of times, for good measure. “At lunchtime, people tend to leave the building and go to different cafes and various other places to eat lunch. Your best opportunities come when everyone is
here
, together...
mingling
.”

      “Wow...I
love
this!!!” said Brogan, beaming from ear to ear and almost literally jumping for joy! She looked as if she might start taking notes at any minute. Just the idea that there might actually be a tried and tested, common-sense strategy for meeting the man of your dreams was something that thrilled her beyond all previous expectations of being thrilled. Ben continued enthusiastically. “The only people left hanging around at lunchtime will be people with packed lunches and eating disorders. Get
out
of the building, there’s nothing here for you at lunchtime. Trust me; this is your optimum time. Brogan couldn’t understand what was wrong with packed lunches but Ben was onto it, before she even opened her mouth.

     “Sad fact ladies, but the majority of men with packed lunches have wives or girlfriends at home who made them. Yes, even in this day and age, I know, it’s horrible. Embrace it, and steer clear. All decent, self-respecting, single guys with
normal
appetites will have left the building within five minutes of the lunchtime announcement. Be gone before they leave.”

They both listened, entranced, but Brogan wasn't completely satisfied. “But what about if a guy wants to ask you to go out to lunch
with
him and you’ve already left the building???”       Ben grimaced slightly.

     “Do
not
go to lunch with a man you’ve just met at a seminar,
in
a seminar lunch-break. At lunch, you’ll talk about the seminar and the seminar principles and the great things you’re learning at the seminar. And although he'll think you very clever, and very nice, in his mind you will forever be, ‘the woman I had lunch with at that seminar.’ It will never go any further than that. Seminar-talk is like romance kryptonite. Keep your feminine mystique.
Keep
the mystery alive and try to remember, a daytime date is just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. A seminar lunch will catapult you swiftly and firmly into the female-friend-zone.”

     “Wow,” said Brogan, “You’ve totally blown my mind already and we haven’t even started yet...”

      “Okay,” He said, looking at a somewhat dazed Geraldine. She couldn’t believe this was Ben. He was so ...different when he was working....So... in charge...and impassioned!

      “Gerry, you need to be with Brogan because no one will approach you if you’re with me. However, you’re going to need to break away from her every now and again to make yourself even more approachable. Guys find it a lot easier to approach one woman than a group...even a ‘group’, of two. Okay, let’s establish some hand signals.” He put his hands together and then pulled them apart quickly. “If you see me do that it means: it’s time to separate, an interesting prospect wants to approach you.”

     “Okay,” Gerry nodded her agreement. This was actually going to be quite fun. Hideously contrived, but fun, nevertheless.

     “Wow!!” Brogan shook her head in amazement, clearly mesmerised and hardly daring to take her eyes off Ben.

     “Okay, let’s keep the rest simple: thumbs up means that’s potentially a good guy. Thumbs down - steer clear. Timeout means we need to reconvene to discuss something in the foyer,
all three of us.”
He said, looking pointedly at Brogan, who was already intoxicated by the slow trickle of well-turned out, evolved-looking, love-guru types.

     “Is that clear?”

     “Oh, yeah, yeah, sure hon,” She said distractedly.

      “Brogan” said Geraldine, looking slightly concerned now.

     “Yeah, no, I get it darlin’ I might be looking the other way, but I’m still listening, don’t worry. Timeout sign means we all go outside to chat about stuff.”

      “It’s one of the reasons you’re here Brogan. Sure, have some fun. You two go for a completely different kind of guy anyway, but remember why we’re here. This is really important. If guys see me chatting to just you, privately, Gerry, they could get the wrong idea. Okay, are we all clear?” They both nodded in agreement.

       “Okay, I’ll be across the room looking out for body language, discarded wives or girlfriends and general bad ...or great, behaviour. Just try to check
everything
out with me. Okay?”

     “Okay,” said Brogan.

      “Now mix, mingle and don’t get trapped with a bad prospect. The registration can take anything up to 45 minutes. Enjoy it. Don’t waste time; there are only two tea breaks, morning and afternoon. That's prime time right there.”

      Geraldine had just pinned on her delegates badge and had barely taken her first sip of coffee, when she felt someone’s eyes burning into her from across the room. It was Ben. He stared at her and discreetly put his hands together and pulled them apart again. Geraldine suddenly, subtly disengaged and turned away from Brogan, under the pretext of reaching for a biscuit. Brogan, who was in mid-sentence at the time, was about to follow her to finish what she’d been saying, when she suddenly caught sight of Ben, holding his chin with his other arm folded across his body, shaking his head slightly. She watched in amazement, as a tall, good-looking guy in a stylish navy suit approached Geraldine.

      “Hi, I’m Toby,” said a warm, velvety voice somewhere above her left ear. Geraldine turned to see where the deep and mellifluous voice was coming from.

     “Oh, hi, I’m Geraldine,” She said, shaking the offered hand. Just like the voice, the handshake was warm, reassuring and strong. Geraldine could feel her face getting warm. Toby had the look of someone from Kenya: Perfect, ridiculously smooth and even-toned, almost, magical-looking, coffee-coloured skin, eyes that shone with gentle wisdom and playful defiance. A beautiful, full, expansive and friendly mouth, filled with absurdly perfect teeth and a smile that simply took her breath away. His head was shaven, he was relaxed, well-groomed and life-affirmingly focussed. His dark, navy suit was smart, without being stuffy and its large lapels and the slightly anarchic T shirt he wore instead of a dress-shirt and tie, gave a brief wink to non-conformity, without being sloppy or making him look like an off-duty footballer. He had dignity, style, presence and smelled absolutely gorgeous.
Nice one, Ben
, she thought. Toby, just
had
to be the most beautiful-looking specimen of human being she had ever seen.

      “Nice to meet you, Geraldine. So what brought you here today?” He continued, confidently dripping honey, charisma and can-do calmness all of over her, his voice somehow reverberating dangerously through her chest. Geraldine suddenly glanced at Ben, in an unconscious, nervous gesture. Surely this guy was just too good to be true! Ben gave her a discreet thumbs-up, then quickly looked the other way, as she tentatively returned her attention to Toby.

      “Oh, I, I er... just came along with a couple of friends; they’re around here somewhere; how about you?”

      “Oh, I’m a head teacher, just looking for new ways to motivate some of the more challenged kids.” Geraldine swooned slightly. So much for her little prejudice against guys in suits.

     “That’s great, where’s your school?”

    “A little village called Stockwell.”

     “Oh, yes, I know Stockwell,” she said, ruefully. As far as teaching went, it didn’t get much more challenging than Stockwell. In fact, Geraldine was sure she’d read something, recently, about an amazing, young head who’d completely turned around a really difficult school in Stockwell, in just a couple of years, to the point where the school was now almost unrecognisable: top of the league tables, with a completely overhauled and highly motivated teaching team. Surely this couldn’t be
that
guy could it?

      “Oh my God,” she said without thinking, “It’s not Stockwell Green is it?”

      “That’s the one...” he said, looking slightly confused. “How on earth did you know that?”

     “Oh, just a lucky guess,” She said. “Well, no, I mean, I read about the school in TES. I wrote a feature for them recently on the connection between disaffection and decreasing spiritual direction in schools... Kind of presenting a case for meditation and mindfulness in schools. And your school was featured in the same issue. I suppose it kind of stayed in my mind. It was just so inspiring... all the great things happening in that school and, well, you just seem like the kind of guy who could have made them happen...”

She tailed of sheepishly. She was slightly uncomfortable, now. She was fawning, blatantly, and he was looking embarrassed. And why, oh
why
had she mentioned spirituality so soon. And why had she dunked that blasted biscuit into her coffee, only to have it now, looking dangerously weakened as it hovered threateningly over her cup, while she continued smiling and trying to look as if she was perfectly comfortable carrying the whole sticky mess around for another ten minutes or so.

     Toby smiled awkwardly, and somewhat bashfully, and took an almost visible step back, as her coffee-cup trembled ever-so-slightly in an unhelpfully ill-fitting saucer. Her heart was pounding uncomfortably and little beads of perspiration were beginning to break out on her top lip. She could feel them.

     “Well, I’ve got a great team behind me, I have to say.” He said, fidgeting slightly.

From across the room, she could see Ben, shaking his head and wielding the timeout signal, but Brogan was nowhere to be seen.

       “Would you just excuse me for a second, please, Toby, I’m just going to pop to the ladies.” For a second or two, Toby seemed slightly taken-aback by her unexpected withdrawal and then suddenly looked interested again.

       “Well, I hope we can catch up again later, Geraldine,” he said, smiling warmly. “I really enjoyed that feature, by the way. I thought it was beautifully insightful.” Geraldine felt herself melting. There was just no way of figuring men out sometimes...

       “I’m sure we will,” she said regaining her composure. What on
earth
could Ben want at a time like this? And where
was
Brogan?

       Brogan's voice came ringing through the hall as soon as Geraldine began marching towards the foyer “Y’okay darlin’?’” she said. Geraldine jumped slightly, as the flaming red mop suddenly appeared by her side. How did she always do that!? Appear as if by magic, from out of nowhere, just, when she was needed??

       “Where have you
been?
” Said Geraldine, more fascinated than annoyed.

       “Just over there darlin’ talking to the guy with the hot bod.”

       Gerry glanced over at a personal-trainer type who was now winking suggestively at a blushing Brogan. Borgan bowed her head chastely, and actually fluttered her eyelashes at him before offering a delicate little wave. Geraldine rolled her eyes and shook her head stoically. “Okay, Ben’s just called timeout,” she said in a loud whisper, “Just, follow me.”

Outside, in the cool air-conditioned foyer, Ben was looking pleased and slightly impressed.

     “Great start!” he said, triumphantly.      

     “What do you mean, great start!?” said Geraldine, incredulously, “I’d barely said two words to the guy before you
dragged
me away.”

     “Oh, I think you got more than two words in there. In fact, you could probably have written another feature for the Times Educational Supplement on the subject of “How great I think you are Toby, and how I am not worthy.” Geraldine looked down at the floor between them and bit her lip slightly with embarrassment and irritation. Ben was truly infuriating! How had he even heard so much of the conversation?!! And, more to the point, what was really so awful about letting someone know you liked them and that they impressed you and almost made you want to conceive on the spot because they were someone just crying out to be reproduced for the highest good of all?! Okay, maybe, in hindsight, it was probably not that great. Not awful, but not completely ideal. She could see how she might not have come across all that well. But how on
earth
had Ben heard so much from the other side of the room? It was all truly cringe-worthy! “Look, just trust me on this,” he continued, rising to the challenge once again. “You were getting flustered and he was losing interest. This guy obviously has women fawning over him all the time. Gerry, you are going to have to pull yourself together and just be a little bit more confident and mysterious. Just circulate now and talk to some more guys. He’ll come back if he’s interested, and this time, you’re over the shock of him and you’ll be a bit more ...calm and self-assured. K?”