Oriental Hotel (50 page)

And still he continued to deny the existence of the baby, as he denied the threat of invasion by the Japanese.

The days were hot and steamy now, the humidity high and the temperature such that with her extra weight Elise was forced to take a rest in the afternoons in spite of her determination to spend all her time with Alex. But even her need for rest was treated by Gordon with a disdain which totally disregarded her condition.

‘What on earth are you doing up here?' he asked her snappily one afternoon when he returned unexpectedly to the house. ‘I should have thought you could find something better to do with your time than lie on the bed and sleep.'

‘I'm not sleeping.' She shifted herself clumsily. Already, at five months, she was bigger than she had been with Alex at full term and the nausea had never left her completely. ‘I'm just resting. Dr Munro said I should.'

‘Munro! Oh yes …' But he made no further reference to it, no move to ask what Munro had said or anything else. ‘We have been invited to the Peninsula for dinner tonight – Hugh de Gama has someone staying with him and he wants to make up a party. I have told cook not to cater for us here.'

‘Oh, do we have to?' Elise felt muzzy and heavy, as if all the energy had drained out of her body with the continuing sickness. ‘I don't feel the least bit like it and I look a fright.'

‘Rubbish!'

‘What's more, I have nothing suitable to wear …'

‘Now that
is
complete nonsense!' Gordon strode across the room, throwing open one of Elise's well-stocked closets, ‘just look at all these clothes, yet you tell me you have nothing to wear.'

‘But they don't fit me any more. I've bought day dresses, but it's so long since we went out for the evening …'

‘Exactly! All the more reason why we should. This visitor of Hugh's is a cousin of his – or a second cousin to be precise – and if he has as sharp a mind as Hugh we should be in for an entertaining evening.'

Elise's heart sank still further. The prospect of one Hugh was bad enough, two was positively daunting. And the thought of the delicious but rich food at the Peninsula was turning her stomach already.

‘I really don't think …'

‘Perhaps,' Gordon said pointedly, ‘you would have preferred me to ask Su Ming to go with me. Since you're so paranoid about my favouring her, you would perhaps have been pleased to have something concrete on which to hang your criticisms.'

The suggestion produced the reaction he had known it would.

‘All right. If you insist, I suppose I have no option.'

He let it go, turning away with the disdainful half smile she found so maddening.

‘Good! The table is reserved for seven o'clock in the Playpen. I thought if I told you now that would give even you time to get ready. Now, I'm going to have a shower. It's like a Turkish bath outside.'

He went into the bathroom and her fingers gripped convulsively at the pillow. If she had the energy, she would have thrown it after him, she thought, but she felt too weak. The ready tears gathered in her eyes.

How much longer was he going to carry on this ridiculous charade of pretending that nothing was happening to her? How much longer would it be before he felt he had had his pound of flesh – if that was what it was?

She certainly didn't want to be treated like Dresden china. All she longed for was a little consideration – a little concern. And she didn't expect their marriage to be perfect again – as perfect as it had ever been. Too much damage had been done for that to happen, besides which she was still in love with Brit. But there had to be some neutral ground in this battlefield, where they could thrash out some kind of compromise. The constant antagonism was unbearable – and it must be unbearable for Gordon too, even if he was perpetuating it in order to punish her.

She got up and padded towards the bathroom. She had taken off her dress before lying down and the bulge of her pregnancy was clearly visible beneath the cr'pe de Chine of her petticoat, but she could not face putting on a robe in the sticky heat of the afternoon.

The shower was running and she stood in the doorway, waiting. When the curtains parted and he emerged to see her standing there in her petticoat, she caught a brief glimpse of disgust on his face before the cold mask came down again.

‘Gordon – can we talk, please?' The tears were still there in her voice, and he reached for the towel with a gesture of impatience.

‘I thought you were going to start getting ready.'

‘I want to talk to you.'

‘Not now.'

‘When?
When
? You never talk to me nowadays.'

‘Is that surprising?'

‘No, I suppose not. But we cannot go on like this. It's sheer purgatory …'

He paused in the action of drying himself, looking at her coolly.

‘It's a pity you didn't think of that before.'

‘I know. I know.' Tears were streaming down her face. ‘I understand how you feel …'

‘Do you indeed? I very much doubt it.'

‘I do! But it's over; you finished it.' You won, she wanted to say. You had your victory. Have the grace now to at least give a little. But the words were lost in the tears in her throat and she could not utter them.

‘Did I finish it? Do you really think so? Well, I wonder just how long your tawdry little
affaire
would have lasted if I hadn't stepped in when I did. It's my opinion that you would be back already with your tail between your legs. The Brittains tire very quickly of what they have; they're only interested in acquiring what belongs to others, as I've found to my cost more than once over the years. As for you – many husbands would have thrown you out, Elise. I haven't done that. I continue to give you a home and everything you want. But don't expect me to forgive and forget, too.'

He turned away and the tears exploded in her. Pious, pompous, self-satisfied bastard!

I won't go with him tonight! she thought. I'll make a stand – show him he can't treat me this way.

But even as she thought about it she knew she would go, because he could treat her in any way he chose. All the cards were in his hands now and he could play them any way he liked.

When her tears were spent she showered, washed her face and hair and began looking through her wardrobe for something to wear. She found one of the flowing Indian cottons she had bought in Penang: vermilion red, embroidered in black and shining metallic thread in a design of hummingbirds and butterflies. The colour enhanced her pallor, making her skin look almost translucent where it stretched across her bones, and she dabbed powder on the dark shadows under her eyes, determined that it should not be immediately obvious to Hugh what he had wrought in her life.

When she went to the nursery to kiss Alex goodnight Su Ming was there, hovering as usual as if contact with his mother was not to be desired.

‘Don't be too long with your mother, now, Alex. She doesn't want you hanging around her when she is wearing a best dress.'

‘Mummy!'

‘Of course I do, darling.' What other things did Su Ming whisper in his ear when she was not there, she wondered. What poisonous comments found their way into her conversation? ‘You know I always want you, Alex.'

His arms fastened around her neck, his soft face pressed against hers. His skin smelt slightly clammy after the heat of the day, but soon she knew it would smell soap-and-water sweet.

‘Mummy, why is your tummy so fat?'

‘Darling, I explained that to you. There is a new brother or sister coming to live here and …'

‘Su Ming said that was nonsense.' ‘Nonsense' was not a word which Alex would have used – Elise knew it had come from the amah.

Over Alex's head her eyes met those of the Chinese girl and for the first time she saw a defensive look.

‘I was only following Mr Sanderson's instructions not to discuss such things with Alex.'

‘I see.' Elise was boiling up again.

‘So why are you fat, Mummy?'

‘Alex, you and I are going to have along talk,' she said. ‘I have to go now, but tomorrow we will have ice-cream sodas in the garden and talk.'

‘But I have already arranged to go with Mr Sanderson tomorrow and take Alex to look at his new school.'

‘When?' Elise fumed. ‘When did you arrange this?'

‘The other day.'

‘And why did you not tell
me
what had been arranged?'

Su Ming's mouth pinched. ‘It was not my place. You will have to ask Mr Sanderson about that.'

‘I certainly will.'

The blood was singing angrily in Elise's ears but she reached for Alex, pulling him close so that his sticky little mouth pressed against her ear.

‘What's wrong, Mummy?'

‘Nothing, darling. Stop worrying and I shall see you tomorrow.'

‘All right, Mummy.'

Without speaking to Su Ming she went out and down the stairs.

Gordon was in his study, immaculate as ever in his cream tuxedo but with the now customary glass of gin and tonic in his hand.

‘Ready?' he asked.

‘Gordon, is it true that you have told Su Ming not to discuss the baby with Alex?'

The half smile returned and he drained his glass.

‘I asked if you were ready. We don't want to keep Hugh waiting.'

‘
Gordon
!' she half screamed.

He turned cold blue eyes on her. ‘Control yourself! We've had enough discussion for this evening.' He opened the door and stood holding it for her. ‘Are you coming?' – ‘No! Not until …'

‘Elise!' His voice was warning. ‘To the outside world we lead a normal life. On that condition I allowed you to stay here and have contact with my son.'

‘You never said that was a condition! And he's my son too …'

‘Well, I am saying it now. And in my opinion, leading a normal life does not mean arriving for dinner at the Peninsula an hour late and looking more like a fighting cock than my wife. If you wish to discuss things further, we will choose a more suitable time. Now, if you're ready …'

She was trembling again. Today she seemed to have been trembling all day. It was without doubt one of the worst days since Brit left, and things seemed to be getting worse, not better.

‘Come on, Elise! Or I shall have Su Ming take complete control of Alex.'

‘That's what you want, isn't it?' she screamed at him.

‘What
I
want ceased to matter some time ago,' he said coldly. ‘What I wanted was for my wife to accord me the kind of loyalty I accorded her. Now, will you come?'

Defeated, she stalked out and went to stand at the passenger door of the car. But Gordon went past her down the drive.

‘It is such a pleasant evening, I thought we would walk.'

‘But …' Her stomach felt heavily uncomfortable, all her energy spent on the continual torrent of emotion.

‘Come along, Elise!'

The street seemed endless. Before long her hair hung damply at the back of her neck and all her will was concentrated on keeping up with Gordon's brisk stride.

Slow down for me, please! she wanted to say, but pride prevented her.

When they entered the Playpen Restaurant at the Peninsula, Hugh and his guest were already there. As they rose to greet Gordon and Elise, she noticed with some misgiving that the second cousin was very like a younger Hugh – the same wiry body and dark-skinned face; the same grey eyes and the same impeccable English accent.

‘Guy has been at Oxford,' Hugh said by way of introduction. ‘He gained a First in Classics and now he's taking a year off, visiting relations and keeping well away from the trouble in Europe.'

The younger de Gama smiled gravely.

‘England is not what it used to be. And the college, too, is sadly depleted, with so many students in the services.'

Elise sensed Gordon's tension. He hated any mention of the war.

‘I am so sorry we were late,' he apologised to Hugh. ‘These women, you know …'

Hugh's eyes moved over her and she felt them to be as voracious as ever.

‘Shall we order?'

The Playpen was a long, narrow gallery with windows giving panoramic views over the harbour and across to Victoria Peak. Spotless white napery was offset by red carpet and carver chairs and each table was illuminated by a red-shaded lamp. Beside the table where Elise's party sat, a potted palm rose almost to frieze height and along the length of the gallery ceiling fans wafted cool air down on the diners.

It was a convivial atmosphere, but Elise lacked any appetite and it was a tremendous effort to keep up her share of the conversation. Had she been dining with Gordon and Hugh, she would not have felt it necessary to talk much – between them, they usually commandeered the talk – but the young Portuguese seemed anxious to draw her in, addressing half his comments to her. Gordon, on the other hand, appeared determined to continue making life unpleasant for her, though his barbed remarks were aimed so skilfully that the young stranger at any rate was unaware of them.

‘It's pleasant here at the Peninsula, isn't it?'Guy remarked, looking around the elegant restaurant.

Gordon was ready with the quick, sly glance and comment across the top of his glass. ‘Ask Elise – she can tell you all about it. You have great experience of the Peninsula, haven't you, Elise?'

‘Really?' Guy turned to her eagerly. ‘Do you come here often?'

‘She used to. Things are not quite the same now though, are they, my dear?'

Face flaming, she bent over her chicken.

‘It's a splendid hotel.' Hugh seemed anxious to smooth the situation. ‘And you haven't seen the best of it, my boy. Wait until you see Gripps Graces.'

Curious grey eyes questioned each member of the party in turn. ‘Gripps Graces?'

‘Six lovely girls; the best dancers in Hong Kong, to boot. They entertain here and at the Hong Kong Hotel. Their graces grip you! Although of course …' Hugh raised his glass towards her, ‘none is lovelier than our own charming Elise.'