Our Kind of Love (28 page)

Before that, I’d only looked at this swimsuit
when Mom brought it home from one of her shopping breaks from the restaurant. I
had no need for it then because I wouldn’t go into the ocean.

Today’s different.

Hauling into the one-piece, I put on a floral print
surplice dress over it and slip on my flip-flops. Today’s the day I put an end
to my ban. I’m going for a swim, and I’m doing it with Micah. It’ll be
something to motivate him to return.

When I pull up at the beach parking lot, Micah’s
perched against the stone sea wall. He’s dressed in black trunks, a white tee
and black sneakers, ready to go running. He pushes off the wall when I climb
out of the car.

“Hey babe,” he says smoothly, meeting me
halfway. He kisses me on the lips, it’s soft and lingering. Gliding his eyes
all over me, he furrows a brow and asks, “No running today?”

I shake my head and tell him, “I’m ready.”

His lips curl into a teasing grin. “We’ve
already past that though. Haven’t we?”

“Stop,” I laugh and jerk his arm in a playful
way. “I mean, I’m ready to go swimming.”

“Oh.” He glances over his shoulder at the ocean.
“Are you sure?” he asks, looking back at me.

“Yes.”

I lead him down to the sand, and then take off
my dress and slippers.

“Come with me,” I say.

He takes a moment to study my face. Then he
kicks off his sneakers and pulls his tee over his head.

“All right.”

Micah doesn’t rush me. He holds my hand and
stays with my pace as we approach the water. Then suddenly I stop, and so does
he.

“You okay?” he asks, sounding worried.

I look out into the ocean and see Mary; sunlight
bedazzles her skin and dances on top of the water. Her long dark strands float
all around her.

She’s motionless, an unreadable expression on
her face as she regards me. I close my eyes for a beat. The night she drowned
hits me like electricity, as it always does whenever I try to step into the
ocean. Only this time, I have a newfound strength. I refuse to live my life
like this. Micah’s facing his issues and so will I.

Opening my eyes, I let out a spurt of air and
for the first time I say, “I’m fine,” and actually mean it.

I let go of his hand and observe the water
carefully, as if I’m seeing it for the first time. Swallowing the knots in my
tummy, I run into it. Without any fear or regrets, I run.

Micah stays close behind, rushing in with me. I
can’t believe I’m actually calm, steady heart, splashing up water. I laugh
louder than ever, overjoyed to finally unchain myself from guilt. I peer around
in the water, searching for Mary. But she’s not here. She’s not waiting for me
anymore.

She’s gone.

“You did it, babe,” Micah says, coming up to me.
He places his arms around my butt and picks me up above the water, hopping
around with me.

Laughter surges from my belly up. I stretch my
hands over my head, feeling free as I glance up at the sky and take it all in.
This moment is unparalleled, and I’m happy to have shared it with him. In this
moment, I’m free.

The excitement doesn’t end when we slither out
of the ocean and collapse on the sand, but it reduces long enough for us to
drive back to Micah’s place. I keep a smile on as I wash sand and salt off my
body, reliving the moment over and over in my head. It still makes me feel
giggly, overcoming my fears once and for all. I get a tingling in my stomach
thinking about it.

Stepping out of the shower, I slip back into my
dress once I dry off. Then Micah and I snack on fruits for breakfast before he
starts packing some stuff into a duffle back. The feeling of worry sets in
again, as I stand by the door and watch him prepare to head back home.

“Are you ready for this?” I ask him as he rests
the bag on the arm of the couch.

He glances over his shoulder and smiles halfway.
“I am,” he replies. “I have to be.”

Dropping in a few pairs of socks, Micah zips up
his duffle bag and strides over to me, towing me into his arms.

“Are you gonna be okay without me for two days?”
he teases, kissing me on the forehead.

“I should ask
you
that, you’re the one
who has superhot babes with crushes back home.”

He grins. “You’re the only superhot babe I have
my eye on.” My heart flutters as he presses his lips on mine; so soft, sweet,
and blissful.

When he eases away, my pounding heart relaxes. I
know it’s time now. I know I have to chill and let him do this.

Micah spins away from me and walks over to get
his bag. Draping the strap over his shoulder, he snatches up his keys and
cellphone.

“Let’s go,” he says, coming back towards me.

I open the door and we step outside, lock up,
and saunter down the stairs. He secures his bike inside and I drive him over to
the transport center where he’ll take a bus to the city of Providence, and from
there he’ll get on a train to Haxtun.

God! Please let him come back. Please don’t let
this be a summer fling for us.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks as we wait on a
bench outside for his bus.

“Nothing,” I shake my head. “Just that I’m gonna
miss you this weekend.”

He slings his arm around my back, massaging it.
“Wow, I didn’t realize you liked me this much.”

“As if you don’t like me just as much,” I shoot
back.

“Oh yeah,” he laughs.

“Yeah.”

We stare at each other for a long while,
smiling, trying to unravel the other’s thoughts. I wonder if Micah feels as
strongly as I do. I wonder if he…

The bus pulls up and draws his attention from
me. His face tenses as he moves his hand away and picks up his duffle bag off
the pavement.

“Well, here it is,” he says, looking back at me
as others start making their way onto the bus. “I’ll call you when I get there,
okay?”

He embraces me in a clinging hug and kisses the
side of my head.

“Okay,” I whisper.

Pulling away, he kisses me one more time on the
lips before he starts to leave. I watch his back as he paces over, falling in
line behind the people boarding the bus.

Finally when it’s his time to get on, he looks
across at me and smiles, waving bye. Feigning a smile, I wave back, and then
allow worry to mask my face as soon as he climbs inside the bus.

“Don’t let this be it,” I mutter to myself
again, because honestly, I think I’ve fallen for him.

I stand in place and watch as the bus takes off,
looking to spot Micah at one of the windows. But they’re so dark it’s hard to
see him anywhere. When the bus disappears down the street, I meander back to my
car, and like a fool I cry, because my heart is afraid. I’m afraid I’m not
enough, that Haxtun will turn out to mean more to Micah than I do.

Thirty
-
Three

Micah

HAXTUN IS JUST as I left it: a small city with a
big heart, as emphasized on the welcome sign. Too bad I didn’t feel the “heart”,
when I ended up in my mess.

Climbing out of the taxi in front of Grams’
house, I get a rush of emotions in my stomach. It would feel even better if she
was inside waiting for me.

I drape the bag strap over my shoulder and tread
up the gravel entrance towards the porch. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I
force down the burst of emotions and unlock the dark blue door. Instantly I’m
met with pictures of me and my grandparents hanging on the walls and that homey
smell never left. But that’s not the only thing that catches my attention.

It appears as if someone’s been here. The dark
hardwood floor looks like it’s recently been polished, the curtains are drawn,
and water’s dripping from the tap in the kitchen. Not to mention there are
dishes in the rack. I remember leaving them in the cupboard before I left.

I place my bag next to the door and walk around
the living room, seeing if anything else is out of place. It all seems intact,
only that it’s clean, too clean for a house I haven’t lived in for a year and
few months.

“Hello?” I call out, confused. I walk around to
the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. I push Grams’ door open halfway and
peek inside. Her room is the same as I left it. Nothing changed in there.

When I walk to the guestroom across from hers
and push the door open, the bed seems as if it’s been slept on, and there’s a
suitcase by the closet.

What the hell! Someone’s been living at my house
and I haven’t even sold it.

As if on cue, I hear the front door click open.
Adrenalin rushes through me. All I want to do is to give this person a piece of
my mind for their audacity.

I slip out of the guestroom and go back down the
hallway, only to be shocked speechless when I’m face to face with an older
version of myself.

“Mitch!” he blurts out, as surprised as I am.

“Dad…what are you…” I trail, caught between
wanting to hug him or punch him for walking out on me and Grams.

“I didn’t know you were coming back,” he says,
carrying a bag of groceries over to the kitchen counter. “Neighbors told me you
took off a while back.”

I tense up, unable to take a step forward.
“Yeah, well, I’m here now, so you can just go back to wherever you were.”

He spins around and stares at me, a look of
regret morphing his wrinkled face. I can’t avoid looking into his eyes, the
same shade of blue as mine. But man he’s aged.

Dad speaks in a calm tone. “I’m sorry you feel
that way, but I’m not leaving, son. This is my house—”

“This is grams’ house. You abandoned her,” I
remind him.

Pacing over to the couch, Dad gestures for me to
sit down. I stay rooted in spot.

“Son, about that—” he starts to say.

“Don’t call me that,” I snap. “You were never a
father to me. You left me to Grams while you went out and got drunk every
night, then spent your days passed out somewhere.”