Out of Exile (15 page)

He'd held her in his arms, kissed her lips with promise, made love to her in passion. He'd laughed with her and shared pieces of himself that he'd never shared with another person. She'd been loving and supportive, and she deserved better than what he'd just given her.

These thoughts whirled in his head in the space of a minute and suddenly he knew he had to stop her, tell her the secret he'd never told another soul. “Lilly,” he whispered and reached into her open window and pulled the keys from the ignition.

“What are you doing?” she cried in obvious frustration. “Why did you stop me, Matthew? Just let me go,” she said with a touch of anger.

He drew a final deep breath, then raised his head and looked at her. His heart constricted as he saw the trace of her tears, tears he had put on her face, in her heart.

He opened her car door and held out a hand to her. “I need to tell you something. I owe you an explanation.”

“You don't owe me anything,” she retorted with a touch of weary impatience.

“Please, Lilly. Step outside and let me talk to you before you leave.”

For an agonizingly long moment he thought she
was going to deny him. Then she slid her slender hand into his and allowed him to pull her from behind the wheel.

Instantly she released his hand, closed the car door, then leaned against it, her arms crossed over her chest in a gesture of defensiveness.

Oh, how he wanted to draw her against him, stroke the shining darkness of her hair, kiss the lips that trembled with emotion. But he knew to do so would only make things more difficult for both of them.

“He beat her, Lilly.” The words spilled out of him.

She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Sorrow and pain welled up inside him. “My father. He beat my mother.” He kicked at the ground and tried to swallow against all the emotions that rose up within him. “I don't think any of my brothers or sister remember that. They were too young. But I remember. I remember her pretty face all swollen and bruised. I remember her lip smashed and bleeding, her eyes black-and-blue.”

Lilly's arms unfolded and she took a step toward him, but he stepped back, not wanting her to touch him, knowing that if she did, he'd crumble.

“I can't take that chance, Lilly. I love you too much, and I'm afraid I'm too much like him.” This was his deepest, darkest fear, a fear he'd never spoken aloud, a fear he'd only examined in the darkest hours of the night. “And if I ever hurt you, I would die.”

“Oh, Matthew.” She had that soft, sweet look in
her eyes that made him want, that made him wish for things he knew he could never have. “What on earth makes you think that you're anything like your father?”

She reached out and grabbed one of his hands, and her touch was agony for him. He attempted to pull his hand away, but she held tight. “When was the last time you hurt somebody defenseless, somebody helpless?” she asked. “When was the last time you allowed your anger to rage completely out of control so you harmed another person?”

“Last night,” he replied, and managed to pull his hand from hers. He frowned as he remembered that red curtain of rage that had descended upon him as he'd hit Ned Sayville. “I…I lost control and gave in to my anger, just like my father used to do.”

“No,” she protested vehemently, her eyes glittering brightly. “As far as I'm concerned, last night you regained your control far too soon.” She touched the bruise on her chin. “I would have been perfectly satisfied had you hit Ned another dozen times. Your anger was justified last night, Matthew, and that has nothing to do with you being like your father.”

She stepped closer to him, so close he could feel her breath on his face, so close he felt a stir of desire well up inside him. She reached out and placed a hand on his cheek. He fought the impulse to close his eyes and lean into her warm touch.

“You are not like your father, Matthew. I couldn't love a man like him. And I love you so much it hurts inside me.”

Her words sent a deep torment through him, yet still he refused to consider anything else but letting her go. She leaned into him, her eyes shining bright, her body warm against his.

“Matthew, what your father did to your mother, what he did to you children, that had nothing to do with love. That was all about control and self-hatred. If you love me, if you really love me, then believe in that love…believe in yourself like I believe in you.”

Her words wrapped around his heart and squeezed out the last bit of darkness, the last bit of cold despair. “Lilly.” He breathed her name just before he gave her a kiss that contained every ounce of love, of tenderness and sweet desire he felt for her. And in the kiss she returned to him he felt the same things flowing from her.

When he broke the kiss, Lilly placed her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look deep into the beautiful blue depths of her eyes. “You were right about me, Matthew. I have allowed my parents' abandonment to keep me alone until now, but I'm willing to take a chance on you and on our love. And if you let me drive away from here, then your father is still controlling you from the grave.”

“I won't let you drive away from here,” he whispered fervently. He pulled her back against him, loving the familiar contours of her body molding into his. “Oh, Lilly. I'm tired of being alone and I love you so much I can't imagine my life without you. But I've been so afraid, afraid that if I loved a
woman, I'd hurt her like my father hurt my mother.”

“You don't have to be afraid of that, Matthew,” she said softly. “I know your heart, I know your soul, and you aren't capable of that. It's simply not in you.”

He closed his eyes, reveling in her words and finding inside himself the knowledge that he was not like his father, would never become like his father. “Lilly, I love you so.”

When he gazed at her again, tears were once more shimmering in her eyes, but he knew those tears were ones of happiness, of joy. “I have an idea,” he said, his heart filled with love so intense it poured sweet warmth through him.

“And what's your idea?” she asked.

“That we attend the Halloween party tonight together. But I won't go as a lone wolf. I'll go as a groom, and you go as my bride. Marry me, Lilly. Marry me and be my wife, fill my days and nights with love.”

“Yes, oh, yes, Matthew,” she replied, and again their lips met in a kiss filled with the promise of a lifetime together.

When the kiss finally ended, she looked up at him, tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks. “You know what I think?”

“What?” he asked, and took a thumb and gently swiped at the tears, vowing that he would never, ever make her cry again with pain or unhappiness.

“I think fate brought us together as a reward for our miserable childhoods. I think our love and the
life we're going to share together is a gift in exchange for the pain of the past.”

Matthew gazed into the sweet depths of her eyes and his heart swelled with the knowledge that she was right. She was his gift, one that he would treasure for all his days on earth and even into the hereafter. “I love you, Lilly,” he said as he once again gathered her into his arms.

“Then take me inside,” she said softly. “Take me into my home.”

“Home. Yes, with you there with me, it will finally be a home.” As their lips met once again, Matthew realized he was no longer a man alone or a lonely man.

Rather he was the luckiest man in the world…because Lilly loved him.

“I
t's official.” George Cahill looked up from the paperwork on his desk and grinned. “I am pleased to tell you all that you have met the terms of your father's will, and the ranch is now deeded to each of the four Delaney heirs and their spouses.”

Matthew hugged Lilly closer to his side, a sense of pride welling up inside him. They were all there in the room, the people who over the past several months had become a real, loving family.

Luke stood next to Abby, his two stepchildren, Jessica and Jason, next to them. Jerrod and Johnna were arm in arm next to Luke and his family. Mark had an arm around a very pregnant April and his stepson, Brian, stood on the other side of him. Clara stood to one side, beaming happiness at each and every one of them.

The love that filled the room between the family
members wasn't the only positive thing that had happened in the past months. The stables had been rebuilt, the old barn renovations had been completed, and the ranch was enjoying a new financial success that was astonishing.

However, the most astonishing thing of all was the changes that had taken place in Matthew himself. The anger that had always been such a part of him had magically vanished, as if it couldn't sustain itself in the wake of the happiness, joy and love he'd found with Lilly.

Each and every day he awakened with Lilly in his arms and a prayer of gratitude on his lips. And each and every night he fell asleep with the same woman and the same prayer in his heart.

“Hot damn, we did it,” Johnna exclaimed, and grinned at them all.

Suddenly they were all cheering and hugging one another. “Nobody could say it was easy,” Matthew said when they'd all quieted once again. “We've battled outside forces from the very beginning, but the biggest wars were fought in the memories of our past and we've managed to win them as well.”

“Could I say something?” April asked hesitantly.

“Of course, darling,” Mark replied.

She smiled at Mark, a beatific smile. “You're going to be a father,” she said, and touched her extended tummy.

“I know, sweetheart,” he said, then grinned at his brothers.

“No, Mark. I mean right now,” she said, and laughed with a touch of embarrassment. “I didn't
want to spoil things, but I've been having contractions and they're now about two minutes apart.”

A look of sheer panic crossed Mark's features and he looked at first Matthew, then Luke. “We've got to go,” he said.

“Well, of course we do,” Lilly said with a laugh. She walked over to April and gave her a quick hug. “We'll follow you and Mark to the hospital.”

April nodded. “We'd better hurry,” she exclaimed.

Within minutes they were all in line, a caravan of family heading for the hospital. Matthew and Lilly took Brian with them, knowing Mark and April would probably go directly into the emergency room.

As Lilly, Brian and Matthew got out of his pickup, Lilly motioned toward Luke and Abby and their children. “Brian, why don't you run ahead with Uncle Luke and Aunt Abby. I need to speak with your uncle Matthew for a minute alone.”

Brian nodded and hurried to catch up with Luke's family. “Is something wrong?” Matthew asked worriedly.

Lilly smiled, the warm beautiful smile he loved. “What could possibly be wrong?” she asked, and raised her arms to encircle his neck. “A new generation of Delaneys is about to be born.”

“It's wonderful, isn't it?” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “My life is wonderful since I have you in it.”

“I'm glad you feel that way.” Her eyes sparkled
with love. “Because in seven months I'm going to bring you back to this hospital.”

Matthew stared at her. “What are you telling me?” he asked cautiously.

She laughed, the sweet sound ringing in the air, in his heart. “In seven months, Matthew Delaney, you're going to be a father.”

“Oh, Lilly…sweet Lilly!” Tears of joy sprang to his eyes as he gazed at the woman who had filled his heart, filled his life with her love. “A baby! We're going to have a baby!” He whooped with excitement, then captured her lips with his.

“It's a whole new generation, Matthew,” she said softly when the kiss had ended.

He stroked a finger down her cheek, his heart so full he felt as if he might die from happiness. “And this generation is going to be blessed,” he said softly. “Because it's a generation born of love.”

“Matthew!” Luke called from the door of the emergency room. “Come on, we need to all be together for this.”

Together. The Delaney heirs all together, with their spouses and children, and the promise of a happily-ever-after for all.

“Matthew,” Lilly said as they hurried toward the hospital door. “We won't tell anyone our news tonight. Tonight is Mark and April's time.”

Her sweet thoughtfulness halted his forward progress, and he pulled her into his arms once again. “I love you, Mrs. Matthew Delaney.”

“And I love you, Mr. Delaney,” she returned,
that love shining from her eyes. “And you are going to be the most awesome father in the world.”

He laughed exuberantly. “Ah, Lilly, does it get any better than this?”

Her smile held a sweet promise. “Darling, the best is yet to come.”

As they entered the waiting room, where all the Delaneys were gathered, Matthew squeezed Lilly's hand, knowing the best was here and now, with the imprint of her kiss on his lips, the knowledge of their baby in his heart and the love of his family surrounding him.