Out of The Box Awakening (38 page)

“Of course, Mr. Harper. Let me call Dr. Scott. He should still be in the hospital somewhere.”

The doctor comes in shortly after they call him. “Olivia, hi. I’m Malcolm Scott. I did your surgery, remember me? That was some nasty gall gladder. It ruptured, but we got it out in time, thank God. You must have been feeling the effects of the bad gall bladder for a while. You’re gonna find that you’ll feel like a new person! Right now, you need to rest. I’ll have the nurse bring you something for the pain. Main thing is, and I can’t stress this enough, you need to rest. Can you do that for me?”

I nod yes.

Ash is by my side. “Liv, I’m here. I’ve called Lainey and she let the boys know. Everything is taken care of, honey. You just rest.”

Dr. Scott bends down to whisper something in Ash’s ear. I can’t hear what they are saying. “Ash? Can I see you outside?”

“Liv, I’ll be right back.” He kisses my head and he leaves the room.

I hear them talking in the hall. I can’t make out what they are saying though. I can’t make myself stay awake to see what they are talking about, so I drift back off to sleep.

“Look Ash. Here’s the deal. Her gall bladder ruptured. It was pretty damn bad. She’s had this condition for a while and probably thought it was just indigestion, ignoring all the other symptoms that come with it. Typical headstrong woman. Anyway, we got the gall bladder out, but we need to watch her very closely over the next few days. As much as we attempt perfection in surgery, there is a chance we didn’t get all of the infection out. Just as a precaution, I’ve called in an infectious disease specialist; Dr. Peter Chen. He’s the very best. What we need to do now is watch and wait.”

“Malcolm, I trust you. I have every faith that you’ll take care of Olivia. She means everything to me, so please, get her better for me!”

“Will do, Ash! I promise you, she’s in good hands. We’re gonna do our best!”

Ash sits on the couch in my room and calls everyone to give them updates. Lainey and the boys say they are on standby to come in if need be. Tommy and the guys are at my door. They knock on the door to my room. Tommy peeks his head in quietly, and says, “Hey Dad, how’s she doin?”

“She’s resting, son. You guys come in for a bit, but only for a few minutes. Malcolm said she needs her rest.” Tommy, the guys and Emily come into my room. Todd is first to come over to me. He bends down, rubs my cheek with two fingers and whispers in my ear, “Hey there pretty lady! How are ya?”

“Hurt. Bad.”

“Awww, poor baby! I’m sorry.” Todd rubs my head. “You’ll be back up dancing in no time, just rest up. Love you girl!”

I nod and he kisses my forehead. Tommy comes over next, and he looks worried. He bends down and kisses me on the cheek.

“You can’t be sick…who’s gonna take care of our family? We need you!” I wink at him and he rubs my arm. “I know you’re tired and don’t need company but we just want you to know that we love you Olivia. Get better!”

Emily is by his side. “Olivia, feel better! Muahhh!”

The rest of the guys come over to my bed and stand. Brady speaks for them “We just want you to know that we love you, Olivia! Get better! We’ll come back when you’re feeling better and bug you.”

The nurse comes in. She is a petite Middle Eastern woman, who isn’t a bit intimidated by the guys.

“Okay, guys, time’s up! Everybody out. Doctor’s orders. Scoot!”

They all laugh and file out of the room. Ash tells me he’ll be right back. Ash stays out in the hall talking to them, and I fall back asleep. There’s not much else I can do. The best I can do at this moment is go back to sleep. Ash comes back into the room and I see him sitting on the couch, working on his laptop. He has those damn sexy half glasses on and is focusing on his work. Every time I move, he looks over at me. I wish he’d go home, but I know better. He’s here for the long haul.

Nurses keep coming in, checking every possible vital sign I have. I heard them say that they are watching to make sure infection doesn’t set in. I heard Ash talking with Dr. Scott, saying something about a Dr. Chen coming in to see me tomorrow, and something about infection. I sleep through the night. In the morning, I wake up when several nurses are standing around my bed. “One-oh-four, call Dr. Chen!”

I feel hot. Ash is at my side, and I wake up. “Liv, you have fever. They’ve called Dr. Chen, the infectious disease specialist. Malcolm will be up shortly. Nothing to worry about hon.”

“I feel really hot, Ash…what’s going on?”

“Honey, Malcolm said there may be a chance of infection since your gall bladder burst. Once Dr. Chen gets here, we’ll know for sure.”

“Oh, my God! I feel so bad, what’s happening?”

Dr. Chen walks in. “Hello Olivia, I’m Dr. Peter Chen. Dr. Scott has asked me to take over. It appears there may be some infection, so we’re going to get you on a high dose of antibiotic to fight the infection.”

“Ummm, okay—what does that mean?”

“Well, since your gall bladder in a sense exploded, there is a chance that they may not have gotten all of the remnants. The antibiotics will fight that infection. You’re going to feel really weak, and we will be monitoring you very closely over the next week or so.”

“Week or so? So I’ll be in here for a while?”

“Yes, unfortunately. It’s necessary so we can make sure we’ve isolated and treated the infection.”

“Honey, everything is going to be fine. I’m not leaving. I’ll be with you every day, I promise.”

“Ash, you have work to do. You really don’t have to stay. I’m fine! Go home!”

“No damn chance! Tommy’s brought me clean clothes and I can work remotely, so I am just fine where I am!”

Around four p.m., Todd knocks on the door and comes in. He’s wearing a T-shirt that says “Plays Well with Others,” and he smiles his bad boy smile. I smile back at him. He just makes me feel happy.

“You up for company?”

“Of course! I’ll always see you! So tell me what’s new? Nice T-Shirt, by the way!”

“Well, I do have good news…you up for listening?”

Ash looks at me, as though he’s wondering if I’m up for the company.

“Ash, I’m fine. Really.”

Todd sits down.

“So tell me the good news,” I say.

“Well, a couple of weeks ago I went to Evanston to see a guy about a car I’m thinking about buying. Another vintage Mustang. I went to a coffee shop in downtown Evanston, since I had a couple of hours to kill before I went to his shop. I was sitting by myself drinking a coffee, reading the paper…”

“Wait, you read?”

“Ummm, yes, Olivia, I do know how to read.”

“I meant read as in the paper. You read the paper?”

“Yeah, I read it every day. I also read music, by the way. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you kids never read the newspaper. Anyway, go on.”

“Well, before I was interrupted, I was saying that I was reading the paper and this chick came up to my table and asked if she could steal one of the chairs from my table. I looked at her, and my God, she was fucking gorgeous!”

“Well, did you let her take the chair?”

“No, I told her she was welcome to sit at my table.”

“And?”

“And, she plopped her fucking hot ass down at my table and we started talking. We were actually talking. Not like the chicks I usually talk to. She actually has things to say and not like the bullshit talk with the chicks I usually hang out with. She’s getting her masters fuckin’degree from Northwestern, in Business. She’s freakin’ so smart! We talked for a couple of hours until I had to leave. She gave me her number and we’ve been talking ever since. Every damn day. We’ve had coffee a few times since.”

“So, she’s pretty hot? Tell me more about her!”

“Pretty hot is putting it mildly Olivia. She’s smokin-ass hot! Blonde hair, blue eyes, hot ass, brains, the whole enchilada!”

“So, tattoos?”

“Haven’t gotten that far yet. It’s winter Olivia. Her arms were covered, but pretty sure she has some, and I’ll bet they’re hidden, just waiting to be found!”

“Todd, that’s wonderful. So, her name?”

“Kyra. Isn’t that the most beautiful name? Besides, Olivia, I mean. She’s the most beautiful chick I’ve ever met!”

“So…more details?”

“Well, like I said, she’s got this beautiful long blonde, messy, curly hair, no makeup, at least I don’t think so, naturally beautiful. Damn!”

“So, not like the typical Todd woman?”

“Not at all. Polar opposite of what you’d expect to see me with! I swear, when I saw her, I was fuckin’ass blown away! I’ve never met a girl like this. Shit! She’s awesome!”

“Awww, I’m so happy! So when do I get to meet her?”

“Well, just get your ass out of here, and I’ll let you meet her. We’re going to dinner tonight and then to listen to a band she likes in the City. She loves music, by the way, which is another way to my freakin heart!”

“So, nice body?”

“Sinfully fucking so!”

I laugh and flinch with pain.

Ash comes over to my bed. “Son, I think my gal is getting tuckered out. You getting tired, hon?”

Todd stands up and stretches. “Yeah, I should probably head out. Gotta head home and get my special car. I’m picking her up in the Mustang tonight.”

“Well, if she gets to ride in it, she must be special. By the way, thanks so much for the flowers, they’re beautiful!”

“Not half as beautiful as you! Get well soon, and for sure, we’ll all go party big time when you’re well!”

“Todd?”

“Yeah?”

“Just remember to be a gentleman. Women liked to be treated well and with respect. Watch the f bombs…not too many of them….just remember that, okay?”

“K! I’ll make you proud! Oh, by the way, Kyra gave me this T-shirt…pretty tight, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that!”

“You, something like that better get your something like that ass out of here and get well!”

He kisses me and he’s off to take Kyra on their date. In my mind, I’m thinking way ahead and way too much into this. Kyra O’Malley…that sounds really good…it works! Todd is obviously taken with this gal, and I can’t wait to meet her. The nurse brings my pain meds and I don’t hesitate.
I’m definitely ready for them. It’s been a long day and I’m really hurting bad, but happy, so happy for Todd! Ash comes over and sits on my bed with me.

“Liv, time to go to sleep. You need to rest. I’ll be working on the couch. Sure wish I could be in the bed with you, but know that I’m just over here. I love you, honey!”

“Love you back more, Ash! Gonna sleep for a while!”

I stay in the hospital for another week. The infection has finally been contained and it’s time to go home. I’ll have to make lots of changes to my lifestyle, though. Dr. Chen and Dr. Scott tell me that I have to be on a bland, no fat diet. I can’t drink alcohol or caffeine for awhile, until my system gets used to not having a gall bladder. They tell me it’s going to have to involve me making some changes in the way I eat.

Fortunately, Ash has Reba coming every day now. Really not necessary, but Ash insists. It’s good to have someone making meals for me, though, I’ll have to admit, and I like the company. Ash is working on a case and he leaves for North Carolina tomorrow for a week.

“Hon, I’ll be back in a week. It’ll go by fast, I promise. Reba will be here and Ellen said she’ll come by and visit.”

I’ve taken a temporary leave from work and hope to get back part-time very soon. I love my job, and though Ash wants me to quit, I just can’t. I love working; I love my job and my independence!

I’m sad, because Ash is leaving today. We go into the kitchen for coffee…well, him coffee, and me, decaf tea. “Mornin’, Sunshine! Feeling okay?”

“Feeling fine! Better every day. Gonna miss you though!”

“Not half as much as I’ll miss you!” We say our goodbyes and he promises to call and text me often. I busy myself reading and researching my new diet requirements on the Internet. Reba has been so wonderful getting meals ready for me and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her!

Early in the evening, my phone rings. It’s the Maroon Five ringtone, “One More Night,” and Todd’s name comes up on the caller ID. It makes me laugh every time he calls me.

“Olivia?”

“Yeeessss, hey Todd! What’s up?” I ask.

“Is Mr. H. home?”

“No, honey, he’s out of town for a week. You can call him on his cell though.”

“Well, actually, I was calling for you. That’s why I called your phone.”

I laugh and answer him. “Well, duh. That makes sense. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, have you had dinner yet?” He asks.

“I was just fixing to heat me up some of the bland food Reba made me, why?”

“Well, I was gonna head over to talk, if that’s okay. You can’t have takeout Chinese food?” Wishing I could have Chinese food, I answer, “Unfortunately, no, I have to eat cardboard bland food. One of the perks of not having a gall bladder. But you can grab some and come over, or I’d be happy to make you something.”

“Nawww, I’ll just grab something and head on over. You don’t mind?”

“Of course not! Come over!” I say.

“K. Be there soon!”

I’m sensing something’s wrong by the tone in his voice. When he gets here, he gives me a hug.

“So what are the lovebirds up to, tonight?” I ask.

“They went out to dinner and in to the city to listen to some music.”

“So, your man friend hasn’t been available too much lately, huh?” I say.

“Naw, not much. They’re pretty much together twenty-four/seven. It’s all good, though. They’re spending as much time together as they can before we go on the road.”

I put my arm around him and sense he’s got something on his mind.

“So, what’s new in Todd O’Malley’s world?” I ask.

For some reason, he’s not his usual cocky, sarcastic self. I see that he has tears in his eyes and he immediately sits down on the bottom stair, putting his head in his hands “Olivia, God I think I screwed up big time.”

“What? Why?” I ask.

“I just fucked up really bad!”

“Todd! What happened? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No, but I fuckin’ took her virginity Olivia! I’m the worst fucking dick scum bag ever!”

“Kyra? You mean Kyra?” I ask.

“Yeah I fuckin’ took it from her. She was a virgin, Was, and now she’s not anymore, all because of me. Jesus! I had no fucking idea she’d never had sex. She’s twenty-five fucking years old, for God’s sake. I don’t even think I know a virgin. The last one I knew was in junior high school, and I had her. Geez!”

I sit down on the step next to him and have to ask the question. “You didn’t force yourself on her Todd did you?”

“Oh hell no! It was nothing like that. It was all consensual, but I can’t believe I let it happen. I should have just stopped it before it happened. Once I knew she was a virgin, I should have just gotten the fuck up and fucking ass left. But I didn’t—I let it go too far and it’s all my fault! I mean, shit, Olivia! We’re fixing to go out on tour for months and I have nothing to offer her. God! Why did I do it? Why didn’t I just stop it?”

I put my arm around him and say, “Come on. Get up. Let’s go in the kitchen and I’ll make some tea. You want a beer?”

He says yes to a beer and follows me to the kitchen with his takeout food.

“Todd, look, first of all, you do have a lot to offer. Don’t ever say otherwise. You’re a great guy. Do you have feelings for her?” I ask.

“Olivia, she’s the first girl I’ve ever been with who I actually do have feelings for. I mean, hell for all I know, I could be in love with her, that’s how amazing she is. I want her around me every damn day, but now I’ve scarred her for life and I fucking don’t know what to do. With virginity there are no take-backs”. He slams his fist on the counter “Jesus Christ! I fucking hate myself!”

When he slams the counter, it startles me. “When did this happen?” I ask.

“Three days ago.”

“And, you’ve talked about it since, I hope?”

“No, see, that’s the thing, I haven’t called her. I’ve tried, I’ve dialed her number so fucking many times, but I can’t go through with it. I feel so damn bad, and I don’t know what to say. I haven’t told anyone but you.”

“Todd! Wait so you just left afterwards? Seriously? I mean why? I thought you said you cared about her!”

“I do care for her Olivia! I left because I was scared shitless. I care for her more than you know! It’s scary, because I hurt so fucking bad for her. I feel awful! And not having her around is killing me. Being with her makes me feel whole. I mean, I know we just met, but she makes me feel like I’m something special. And she’s special and means the world to me. It’s a connection I can’t explain, but I’m a different man around her. Knowing that I was her first, well that’s pretty fucking mind-blowing, too, and it makes me feel that much closer to her. She actually makes me want to be a good person, but I fucking failed that didn’t I? I’ve been a fucked up mess for the past three days. I don’t know what to say to her. I mean, what can I say? I’m sorry I fucked you and fucked your life up? I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I’m dying here, Olivia. All I’ve been able to do is write. I’ve been writing for the past three days.”

“Writing, as in a song?” I ask.

“Yeah, it’s the only way I can get my feelings out. I just don’t know what to do, Olivia.”

I stand up and put my hands on his shoulders. “Well, I know exactly what you should do. Before you and I talk any further, you need to take your beer, march your butt upstairs and call her. You’ve got to do this. Make this right, Todd. I can’t believe you just took her virginity and left her hanging out in the cold. You say you’re hurting bad, but think about her? How must she be hurting about now? I’d imagine she’s pretty darn miserable. Look, she gave this to you freely, but it’s up to you to make her realize she made the right choice. She’s probably feeling like the biggest fool in the world about now and you owe it to her to let her know you care about her. She gave you herself—body and soul, which was a gift to you, so accept that gift, Todd. Open the box and cherish what you got from it. Go on! Make the call and we’ll talk after. Go on!” I gently push him out of the kitchen.

“Olivia, I don’t know if I can do that. I’m pretty freaked out and I’m afraid I’ll get emotional…you know that I’ll just lose it. And what if I say the wrong thing?”

I take his face in my hands. “Well, I imagine she’s pretty freakin’ freaked out and emotional right now, as well”

He looks at me and asks, as if he knows the answer and is looking for reassurance, “So you really think I should call her, Olivia?”

I look him straight in the eye, “Ummm, I think you should have called her three days ago, Todd. Let’s just hope she’ll take your call. But you’ll never know until you just do it. Go on.”

I put my arm around him and walk him to the stairs. Reluctantly, he goes up to the music room, closes the door and makes the call. I’m guessing she answered, because he stays up there for over an hour. During that time, Ash calls me. “What’s up, honey? Feeling okay? Missing me?”

“Yes, and yes! Missing you so much! Feeling fine. I just ate, and Todd came over to visit.”

“Well, how sweet. You guys having a nice visit?”

I certainly am not going to go into details right now with Ash. Part of the reason Todd and I have such a good relationship is that we trust each other and I would never breathe a word about this to anyone, just as I know he holds my revelations to him in confidence.

“Yeah, we’re having a great visit! He just stopped by to check on me.”

“Well, enjoy your visit and call or text me when you’re in bed. Did you take your medicine?”

“Yes, I did. And I ate all my supper. Reba’s been taking such good care of me. I’m getting spoiled rotten!”

“Well, save some spoiling for me. I’ve not spoiled you nearly as much as I intend to! Have I told you how much I love you today?”

“No, Mr. Harper, you haven’t…I’m waiting...”

“Well, Olivia, Mine, love of my life, I love you with every bit of feeling I have and I miss you so damn much! Call or text me once Todd leaves and you get settled in for the night.”

“Will do. Oh, and I love you back with every bit of feeling and then some! Oh, and by the way, have I told you lately just how sexy you are? Because you are, you know.”

When I get off the phone with Ash, I start thinking back to the night I lost my own virginity. The guy I lost it to was by no means a Todd. Though he was my steady boyfriend, I seriously don’t think he gave it one iota of thought as to what it did to me other than hurt. There was no earth shattering, planet aligning moment. He wasn’t tender or particularly gentle. It hurt. Bad. He was satisfied. I bled. I hurt. This is it? I thought. This is what it’s all about? And he certainly didn’t hold me afterwards or tell me I meant the world to him. Or tell me he was glad that he was “the one.” None of that. Nada. I remember lying on the blanket afterwards, looking up at the stars, looking for some justification for what I’d just done and what I didn’t have left. Todd was right. There are no take-backs. I’d let both myself and my mother down. She’d preached to me incessantly about how a girl was supposed to keep herself pure for her wedding night, pure for the man she marries. Unfortunately, now I would not be that girl.

It was a summer night and I was only seventeen. He was nineteen and already out of high school. We had gone to the drive in movie. I had an eleven o’clock curfew and my folks were pretty strict about me adhering to it. It was nine o’clock, the movie wasn’t over, but we left early and went driving out on a country road by the creek. It was so dark. He got a blanket out of the back of his metallic blue Volkswagen beetle and laid it on the sand by the creek. We started kissing and touching. And somehow, it just happened. I certainly didn’t plan on doing it. Thank God it didn’t last long. When he finished, he climbed off of me and said he should probably get me back home so I wouldn’t get in trouble. Immediately afterwards, I felt so guilty for doing it. I remember staring out the window all the way back to my house and I couldn’t wait to get in my room because my eyes were filled with tears. I couldn’t let him or my parents see me cry. When he dropped me off at my house, he simply asked if I was okay. I lied and said that I was. We didn’t talk about it that night or ever again. I went into the house and straight into the bathroom, took my panties off, saw the blood, put them in a paper bag and threw them in the trash. Thrown away, just like my virginity. And then I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

He and I broke up by the end of the summer. He was going away to college and said that he didn’t think we could do the long distance thing and besides, I needed to enjoy my senior year of high school. So that, in a nutshell was how I lost my virginity.

After about an hour and a half, Todd comes downstairs and I can tell he’s been crying. Curiosity is killing me.

“So?” I ask, “How did it go?”

“Olivia, I hope you don’t mind if I bail out on you, but I’m gonna head on over to Kyra’s. We need to talk.”

“Todd, please, if you care about her, just do me one favor and let her know.”

“I do care about her so goddamn much, Olivia.”

“Well, then, make her realize that she made the right decision. Take her in your arms, hold her, and kiss her, whatever it takes to reassure her that she gave it up to the right guy. Promise me?”

He nods his head and puts his arm around me as we walk to the front door. “I will. You’ve got my word. God, I love you! You’re simply the best woman I know. That’s why I can always talk to you. You’re not judgmental. You just get me. No one gets me like you do, not even the guys, and I really appreciate your friendship. You’re fucking amazing, and I mean it!”

“Awwwww, you mean a lot to me too and you’re pretty amazing yourself! Hey, hold on a second.” I go into the kitchen and pluck some pretty blooms from the many flower arrangements I got in the hospital. I tie the blooms with a pretty piece of ribbon, go into the wine room and grab a nice bottle of wine. He’s waiting for me by the front door. I hold them out to him. “Here, you go. Flowers and a good bottle of wine will get you in the door for sure. The rest is up to you, my friend. Call me tomorrow?”

“Will do! Thanks Olivia, for everything…you’re the BEST!” He kisses me on the cheek. I hug his neck. “Just go make it right! Call me tomorrow, and remember, when you’re ready, I’d love to hear your song.” He gives me a thumbs up and drives out of the driveway.

The next day, Todd calls me bright and early as I’m having my breakfast. The ringtone makes me laugh, as it always does.

“Olivia?”

I smile. “Hey Todd! I’m hoping you’ve got good news?”

“Yeah, something like that. Sorry, but I’m stealing your line babe! And, just to let you know, I took your advice.”

“And?”

“And, she pretty much told me I was a scumbag. She said she always thought guys in bands were assholes and I just proved her point.”

“Ouch!”

“Yeah, ouch. She was right, though. I sat there and let her call me all kinds of shitty things. She pretty much called me every name in the book. Hell, I deserved it though. I just sat there and took it, took it like a man. She said I broke her heart, fucking broke her heart Olivia!”