Outsider (Outsider Series) (29 page)

“You make it sound like we have some kind of choice in loving each other?” I asked.

“You do,” she said. “You still have the will to choose but why wouldn’t you choose him and why wouldn’t he choose you? You’re destined for each other. You’re like the
ying
and the yang. You fit perfectly together. But the bond
literally
bonds your souls together. You’re forever tied to one another. There is no going back.”

“What if I said I’m ready,” I whispered. “What if I said I’m ready to bind myself to him forever.”

Amy beamed. “I’d say that I know Caeden feels the same way. He’s talked
to me about it. He’s wanted to speak
to you about it but I told him not to push you, not to pressure you. It’s a very romantic, very tying, thing to do. I told him to let you decided when you’re ready. After all it’s our kind’s equivalent of marriage even if we haven’t done it in hundreds of years.”

I paused at her words thinking about what I was going to say. I played with my hands to avert my eyes from hers. Finally I looked up into those patient blue eyes that were so much like Caeden’s but darker. “But we’d still have an actual wedding right?” I asked.

She laughed. “
Of course,” she said and smiled.

“Oh okay,” I said taking a deep breath.

She patted my knee. “Maybe you should think about this some more before you say something to Caeden.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I’m ready. Now that I know more about it I’m
more sure
of it. But I’m scared too. I’m scared about a lot of things right now like
my first shift,” I said. “I understand what a commitment the bond is and I’m ready but if Caeden’s not or he wants to wait, even if he doesn’t want to do it at all, I’m fine with that too. I don’t want to push him.”

She smiled. “Oh trust me you won’t have to push him. But you will have to wait until you transform. That’s part of the ceremony. You both have to have transformed.”

“Does it hurt terribly?” I asked.

She grimaced. “It’s bad. Just as bad as child birth
,
this in a way makes sense. You’re giving birth to your inner wolf, to your shape. I don’t think yours will be nearly as bad though. You’ll have Caeden with you. But look at this way. I’m fine, your Gram is fine. You’ll be-.”

“Fine,” I inserted for her.

She smiled and took my hand. “You really will. I think it might even be special for you. After all you’ll have your mate by your side.
I think Caeden being there will make a significant difference.”
 

“You do?” I asked, hope in my eyes.

“I really do,” she said and shrugged her shoulders, “but I may be wrong so don’t go getting your hopes up. If you want to talk about this some more feel free to come find me. Okay?”

“Thanks Amy,” I said standing. She followed suit and pulled me in for another hug. There was no awkwardness in this one.

“You’re a good girl Sophie,” she said. I heard a crash come from the area of the kitchen and Amy groaned. She looked at the ceiling like she was speaking to the heavens themselves, “Why couldn’t I have had girls? Why?”

We headed towards the kitchen and the commotion. A large wolf growled
in the kitchen. The wolf’s fur was a light brown
with some gold thrown in
and
looked back at me with
Bryce’s
blue
eyes. Pieces of clothing fluttered to the ground.

“Oh my, Bryce Elliot Williams!
Change back
right this instance! You’re going to ruin the floors!” She turned to glare at the laughing figure of Caeden. “What is the meaning of this? Why is your brother in his wolf form?”

Caeden stifled his laugh. “Because I was proving a point.”

“And what point was that?” demanded Amy.

“That he’s a hot head,” said Caeden calmly. He pointed to the wolf. “I think I proved my point.”

“Caeden,” said Amy in that eerily quiet way that only parents can. “Why do you insist on provoking him? You’re the Alpha you should know better.”

Caeden’s smile disappeared. “That’s why I did it,” he said.
“I’m the Alpha now. I can’t have my little brother disobeying me simply because we’re brothers. And I certainly can’t have him not knowing how to control his transformations.”

Amy sighed. “Caeden, he’s new to this. He’s only been sixteen a couple of months.”

Caeden hung his head. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he directed to the wolf that was his brother. He turned back to his mom. “But he needs to lean to control himself.”

The wolf stalked out of the room and a minute later Bryce returned, human, with only a pair of jeans on. I was surprised at his toned chest and arms but I guessed I shouldn’t have been too shocked. He was a shifter after all. “I
can control myself,” said Bryce pointing an accusing finger at his brother. His face was red and his chest heaved angrily with each breath.

“I beg to differ,” said Caeden crossing his arms.

“Maybe if you didn’t provoke me every five seconds this anger inside me wouldn’t keep building until I explode out of my clothes! And you didn’t have to stab me with a knife either!”

“Caeden!” Amy and I scolded. “What is this really about?” asked Amy suddenly suspicious and I didn’t know why.

Caeden looked sheepish and then he sighed. “Dad’s not here to teach him like he did me. I’m just trying to fill that role.”

“Oh,” said Amy, at a loss for any other words.

“Dad was there for me and since he can’t be here for Bryce I have to fill that role. It’s my duty as his brother and as his leader.”

Bryce leaned against the counter. “That’s not really necessary, Caeden.
I’m fine on my own. I know you’re just tryi
ng to help but I don’t need it,” said Bryce and I could see the anger drain out of him.

Caeden was quiet for a moment and said, “If dad was here you’d want his help but you don’t want mine.” He shook his head and disappeared.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with the two of you,” Amy said throwing her hands in the air.

“I’ll go talk to Caeden,” I said putting a reassuring hand on her arm. She nodded and I went off to find him. I had heard him stomp up the stairs so I headed towards his room. That seemed the logical place to look for him.

I found him sitting on his bed with his head in hands. I sat down next to him and put my arm around him. I didn’t say anything. Instead waiting for him to open up to me.

He turned to me and said, “I just want to help him. Dad was there for me and he can’t be here for Bryce. I feel like Bryce was robbed of something and I have to make it up to him. I don’
t want him to think he’s alone i
n this. Am I wrong?”

“Caeden,” I said, “look at it from Bryce’s point of view. He feels like he’s a baby compared to you and when you keep treating him like a little kid it just adds to that. He feels in adequate. He feels like he’s nothing more than the Alpha’s brother. I think being a guy and your brother he feels he
needs to prove himself to you.”

“I don’t want him to prove anything to me,” said Caeden.

I laughed, “Caeden you stabbed your brother with a knife to test him. It sounds like you want him to prove something.”

“When you put it like that…” he said. He shook his head, “I need to go apologize to him. Wait here?” he asked.

“I’ll be here,” I said. I looked at the pile of new clothes I had gotten for Christmas that I assumed Gram had brought up. “I guess I’ll go ahead and get dressed.”

He smiled. “I’ll be back.” He disappeared out the door.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved green shirt and headed into the bathroom. I washed my face and then braided my hair so it would stay out of my way. I slipped into the new clothes and it felt good to have something on body that was actually mine. Not that I hadn’t minded wearing Caeden’s clothes. I felt like his scent of pine
and cinnamon
lingered on me even now.
That put a smile on my face. It felt so good to have finally told him that I loved him. I felt like I was whole now.

I opened the door to the bathroom to find him lying on his bed, now made, much like he had been last night. He smiled and pulled me into his arms. “Did you talk to him?” I asked

“Yes,” he said kissing my ear. “He understands where I was coming from and I now know that he doesn’t need me like I want him too.”

“Sometimes you just have to let them leave the nest and fly away on their own,” I said.

Caeden’s laugh filled the room, echoing off the walls. “You’re right,” he said. “Maybe you should be my own personal advisor?”

“Sure Mr. President. Or should I say Alpha?” I giggled.

He rolled over so he was on top of me, resting on his hands, “Mr. President will do fine,” he said and dipped his lips down to meet mine.

A fire ignited in my body. My fingers tangled in his hair and my legs wrapped around his body pinning him to me. I felt his laugh against my lips. He started to pull away. “Don’t stop,” I begged. I was surprised when he listened and pressed his lips against mine once again. He deepened the kiss and I felt my breath hiss out in a gasp. I could spend forever like this. It would be better than any heaven had to offer.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips. His fingers traced the shape of my hip in my jeans. “Imagine if we had never found each other.”

“Fate intended for us to meet,” I
breathed and tried to hold him tighter against me. I never wanted him to leave. I couldn’t imagine my desire to be with him becoming any stronger but according to what I had been told about the bond it would.

*
* *

I sat comfortable in the confines of Caeden’s arms as we waited for midnight and the New Year to strike. His mom, Gram, and Bryce had retired to another part of the house to give us privacy. That meant we had the whole family room to ourselves.

The leather couch enveloped us
like a cocoon and then Caeden
had us wrapped like mummies in a fluffy blanket. I knew we were both paying more attention to each other than the TV.

Caeden traced my lips while I traced his jaw line. If we weren’t touching then we were kissing. I think the others had gotten sick of it and that was the real reason they had left.

I took a deep breath. “Caeden,” I said.

“
Mhmm
?” he said, his nose skimming my hair line.

“When I change…” I started.

“Yeah?” he prompted when I didn’t continue.

I sat up and turned so that I could look in his eyes. “I talked to your mom and I think I’m ready. To bond to you, I mean. If you’re not then that’s fine. I’ll wait. But I want you to know that I’m ready to make you mine forever.”

He grinned from ear to ear and I suddenly found myself pressed into the leather couch as his lips devoured mine. He pulled away and his grin was still there. “I am more than ready. I can’t wait to mark you as my own.” Suddenly he pulled away. “Sophie, are you sure you’re ready?”
He looked at me with concern.

“I’ve thought about this a lot and the Grimm’s taking me put a lot into perspective for me. I’m not ready to walk down the aisle but I feel like the bond will be away to make a commitment to you.”

His jaw tightened. “You don’t want to marry me but you want to bond with me? Sophie, the bond is more serious than marriage. The bond is an ancient ceremony that hasn’t been practiced in hundreds of years. It’s old and very, very, powerful magic.
You can’t reverse it once it’s done. With marriage you can get a divorce but you can’t undo a bond.”

“Caeden,” I said. “I understand what you’re saying. And I’m not saying I don’t want to marry you. I’m only saying that we’re still in high school. What would people think? I’m not going anywhere. We’re mates. It’s not like we would even get divorced. I just… I need some way to make you mine.”

“I’m already yours,” he said.

“I want to do this, Caeden. I really do. Like I said before, if y
ou want to wait I will,” I said but I wasn’t so sure that I meant my own words.

“I’m more than ready,” he said. “But I don’t want to push you.”

“You’re not,” I said. “This is my choice.”

His smile returned. He pressed his lips against mine and breathed, “Sixteen more days and you’re mine forever.”

He kissed me again and I heard the cheers in the back ground. The ball had dropped in Times Square. The New Year was here and with it many changes were to come. I could feel it.

sixteen
.

Christmas vacation came to an end. Now
all anyone could focus on was p
rom. The babble traveled down the hallway like a high speed train. No one knew of my kidnapping and no one made a comment on the fact that Travis was missing. As were the other two members of his pack Hannah and Robert. I wished I could focus on such petty human problems such as which dress
and shoes to wear but my worries
were much bigger.

In two weeks I would shed
my human skin and transform in
to the wolf I was always meant to be. I noticed things beginning to change already. I seemed to see things with a new clarity. Everything was sharper,
crisper,
it was eerie in a way. Even smells were more potent and I knew that it would all only get worse once I changed.