Overwhelm Me (15 page)

Donovan finishes our breakfast and sets a hot plate in front of me. I grab my fork and start to dig in. It tastes so good, I eat half of it before I know it.

“I’m not such a bad cook, huh?” Donovan winks at me as he eats. He picks up his glass and holds it out towards me. I grab mine, and we clink them together. “Here’s to breakfast with an incredibly wonderful woman. You know, I haven‘t done this in a long time.”

I look at him and a smart ass smirk comes to my lips. “What? Eat breakfast?”

Donovan throws his head back in laughter, and I frown. “No, baby. Making breakfast with a girl and eating together. I can’t remember the last time I did it. Well, other than family and Claire.”

He stops and has an ‘oh shit’ look on his face.

I silently smolder at the mention of Claire‘s name. I lose my appetite and set my fork down.

Donovan looks at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.“ He rubs his head like it hurts. “Like I told you before, it was only Claire and one night stands in my past. So, I really don’t have anything else to compare us to.”

I stare at him for a moment. All of time is suspended when I look into those blue eyes. I know it’s true, and I have to get over my jealousy of the past. We have only known each other for a few days, I have to remind myself. How in the world am I going to stop myself from getting so jealous where Donovan is concerned?

Donovan closes his eyes for a beat and continues. “I don’t know if I can control myself around you. It really scares me.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s something about you that intrigues me and excites me. You are like no one I have ever met. Do you feel the same about me?” He hangs his head a bit.

I swallow, and I try to form the words in my head. Soon, they are flowing out, uncontrolled. “Yes.

I do feel the same way. I have a hard time expressing myself verbally. Physically, there is no problem showing you how I feel.” I play with my napkin, unable to look at him, but my words don’t stop. “But, you must understand. I have been hurt more than you know. My heart was shattered by Matt and what he did to me.” I cringe at the mention of that name. “I am just hoping you are the one that will pick up the pieces and make me whole again. It’s not going to be an easy job, but I hope you are up to it.”

“Allie, I have to know. What did Matt do to you? Why did he make you so shattered?” Donovan looks up, his blue eyes intense, his brow furrowed.

Well, it’s now or never. I put my hands into my lap and start to talk about the horrible things that happened.

“When Matt had pushed me to the ground,” I start where I left off, “I was humiliated and embarrassed. His stupid friends sat back and even laughed at me. Matt stood over me. I was crying so hard.” The lump starts to build in my throat. I try to swallow it down.

“I was so scared to even move. Then all of a sudden, he pulled me off the ground and took me to his bedroom. He slammed the door and started kissing me.” I put my head in my hands.

“I tried to push him off me, he tasted like beer and smelled like pot. He wouldn’t stop. He started to take off my shirt...“ A shudder runs through me as I picture his face. “He threw me down on the bed and said, ‘I want you right now, I’m ready for us to do it.’ He told me he loved me, and this is what people did when they loved each other. So I gave in, and I let him have sex with me. I did it more out of fear of losing him than anything.” I shake my head, ashamed of my actions. "I thought by having sex with him, he wouldn’t leave me. But it hurt so bad, since I was a virgin, and Matt wasn’t very affectionate. He just laid on top of me and pounded away.”

Donovan stares at me, wide-eyed, his mouth open. I see his fists clenched on the table and his face turning red. Oh no, he’s so angry. At me? No, he couldn’t be. Or is he so disgusted with me, he can’t put it into words?

“Well, once it was over, he zipped himself up, and I saw the door was cracked. I tried to cover myself because I knew his friends were there. They were laughing so hard.” The tears start to burn my eyes.

“I slammed the door and got dressed. When I walked out to leave, T-Dogg held his phone up and showed a picture of me, naked as Matt was on top of me. I was so mortified. I ran out, screaming and crying.” My voice gets quieter as I bare my soul to Donovan. It’s getting so hard to finish.

“I went home and told my dad about it. He took me down to the hospital. I begged him not to, but he did it anyway. They did exams on me, and the police came to talk to me. They said because I was a minor, it was considered statutory rape, since Matt was over eighteen. My dad really wanted to press charges. They took notes and said they would call me.” I close my eyes as my tears travel down my cheeks. “We went home, I got on Facebook. When I signed in, T-Dogg had posted that picture to my page…oh God.”

I break down; the crying starts. My body is racking with out of control, gut wrenching sobs. I wail and throw my head into my hands. Donovan sits on the stool next to me and grabs me. He pulls me into his lap. He rocks me like a child, holding me tightly. “Oh, God. I am so sorry. I had no idea that was what you were going to tell me. I’m so sorry.” As he rocks me back and forth, the sobs start to calm down. My tears have stopped, and my head starts to hurt. I wrap my arms around Donovan’s neck. We sit there like this for a while, until I am completely okay. Donovan pulls me back and looks at my face. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before,” I say quietly.

“I’m so sorry that I pushed you to tell me that,” Donovan has tears in his eyes.

“I would have told you. I wanted to tell you. It’s just so hard to talk about.” I wipe my face with my napkin. “The picture got taken down after fifteen minutes, but it was long enough to do the damage. Which sixteen or seventeen-year-old do you know who’s not on Facebook constantly?”

My voice cracks, hoarse from the breakdown. “People called me names. I'm almost sure Holly had a big hand in that. That’s all I heard at school. ‘Whore.’ ‘Slut.’ Things like that.” My sadness is replaced by anger. “My last year was horrible. My parents pressed charges against him, and he was found guilty, as well as his friends taking a pornographic picture of a minor.“ I give a tight lipped smile, at least there was some sort of victory for me. “But that’s not the worst part.” I swallow back the lump in my throat and get ready to drop this bomb on Donovan. This is the one thing Livey doesn’t even know about me. This will make or break us, when he will decide whether he wants me or not. “I ended up getting pregnant by Matt. All it took was that one time. I gave birth to a baby boy in April of my senior year. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, so I gave the baby up for adoption.” I fight the tears back as I speak of the son I’ve only seen a handful times. “I know he is with a good family. They let me see him every time I go home.”

Donovan sits back, shell shocked. “So, you have a son?”

“Yes, I do. His name is Jackson.” I smile at the mention of his name. “He is a beautiful child, with my green eyes and Matt’s dark hair. He knows I’m his birth mommy, and the Andersons’ who adopted him are his real mommy and daddy.” I glance towards Donovan to gauge his reaction. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but this is what I am worried the reporters will find out about me. They will know that I had a kid and gave him away. It’s not like that. I just couldn’t take care of him. I was a kid myself, and I gave him to a family I knew would love him.”

Donovan ran his hand through his hair. “Well, you really dropped a bomb on me. But, I can’t blame you. It’s hard taking care of a child, and you did the selfless thing. You gave your son a good life, and at least you get to see Jackson.” He smiles back warmly. “You are really an amazing person, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing that.” He cocks his head at me.

“Trust me when I say, I will never judge you by your past.”

I can’t believe he is so accepting of this, but I am forever grateful. “Thank you for understanding. It really means alot to me.” I close my eyes tightly and squeeze the tears from my eyes. “Matt even wrote me a letter later, saying how sorry he was, that he didn‘t know what had come over him, that he loved me still. He wanted to be a family with Jackson and me.

Whatever.”

“What happened to him?”

“I know he got probation, and his picture was put on the sexual offenders page. I made sure he was never going to see Jackson. After that, I don’t know.”

“If I ever see him, I’ll kill him myself." Donovan’s voice is laced with hatred and anger. It makes me shudder. He holds me tighter. We sit there for a long time. He holds me in his lap and rocks me back and forth. He finally says to me “We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. We can stay here if you like.”

“No, we can go. Just let me check my face. I don’t want to look like I’ve been crying.” I crawl off his lap and go to the downstairs bathroom. I look into the mirror and let out a sigh. My face is red and blotchy, and my eyes are bloodshot. I look for some eye drops in hopes that it will clear my red eyes. I open the medicine cabinet and find some. I put two drops in each eye and blink.

At least they feel better. I turn the light off as I hear Donovan’s phone ring. I walk back into the kitchen quietly, hoping I don’t disturb him.

“Look, Regina, I don’t want to talk to you. I have nothing to say!” Donovan is shouting into the phone. What the hell did I walk in on? I step back into the hallway. I don’t want to eavesdrop, but I can’t seem to help myself.

“Well, you be sure to tell her this, too! I am done with her; I have been for a LONG time. I have moved on, and I’m very happy.” He pauses for the other person to speak. “I really don’t give a shit what you think. She is amazing in every way possible.” Another pause. “You know what?

I’m done with this conversation.” He hangs up the phone and slams it on the counter. “Fuck!”

I come around the corner and look at him warily. “Are you okay?” I whisper, hoping not to catch the same wrath Regina just felt.

His anger melts away when he sees me. He runs his hands through his brown hair and says,

“Yeah, baby. I’m okay. Just someone from my past coming back to haunt me.”

“Please explain.”

He sighs. “That was Regina, Claire’s sister. She is actually still on that show and keeps Claire’s name out there for the public to hear.” His tone chills when he speaks of her. “She’s always name dropping her on the stupid show and saying she’s going to get out of jail soon. She called to tell me that Claire wants me to visit her.” My eye grow huge. What the hell? “I told her no, that I didn’t want to see her. Regina saw us in the paper, and Claire called her, apparently pissed off and crying. Claire was extremely possessive over me. She used to try to fight girls that tried to talk to me.”

“You aren’t going to visit her, right?” Panic starts to overwhelm me, and I feel myself starting to pant. Oh, God. What if he does?

“Calm down. I already said I wasn’t. Don’t worry.” Donovan walks over to me and kisses me swiftly. “Now, were you ready to go or did you want to just stay here? I’m fine with either one.”

“Well, I do need to get a dress for graduation. Too bad your sister isn’t here to help me choose.

I don’t have the best fashion sense.” I try to lighten the mood because right now, it’s way too heavy. Donovan smiles.

“Grab your purse, and let’s go.” I pick up my purse off the island, and Donovan grabs his keys.

We walk hand in hand out the front door. I start towards the BMW, and Donovan walks toward a huge black Dodge pickup truck.

I look at Donovan, puzzled. “What? I’m a Georgia boy too, you know.” He walks around to the passenger side and opens my door. “Make sure you use the step to get in.” I laugh, truly shocked that Donovan has a pickup truck. I didn’t notice it last night. I hoist myself up as Donovan holds on to my waist. I put on my seatbelt as Donovan shuts the door, always the gentleman. Of course, the truck is fully loaded with a sunroof, a nice stereo system and a rearview mirror camera. I chuckle to myself and think, ‘You might be a Georgia boy, but you are still rich.’

Donovan gets in and slams the heavy door. He grins like a school boy, and it’s dazzling. He must really love this truck. He roars the engine, and the noise is so deafening, I jump. Donovan laughs at my reaction, and I stick out my tongue at him. His foul mood has lifted, and I’m so glad. He grabs my hand and raises it to his lips. He kisses my knuckles. His touch never fails to make me tingle all over. It’s like he has a direct line to my hormones!

“So, where are we going?” I try to at least distract myself. I am curious; however, to where he is taking me. I’m not too much of a shopper. Honestly, I’m pretty happy going to a thrift store, but something tells me that we are not going to Goodwill.

“It’s a surprise. It’s somewhere Megan always shops while she visits.” Donovan smiles slyly at me. He knows I have no idea where his sister shops, and he’s not dropping anymore hints. His perfect grin is contagious, and I return it with a smile of my own. I love playful Donovan.

I take a moment to study his features as he drives. I don’t think I will ever get over his sheer sexiness. His lashes are long and dark. His lips are extremely sexy and full. His cheekbones are set high, and I think he’s part Native American. His beautiful brown hair hangs just over the tops of his ears. He really is amazingly handsome.